CABB 3 Playlist
“Perhaps they are not stars, but rather openings in
heaven where the love of our lost ones
pours through and shines down
upon us to let us know they are happy.”
~ Eskimo Proverb
Welcome to the third
Charles/Adam Bucket Brigade aka CABB. CABB was actually an April
Fools joke one year. Audrey and I pretended that we'd lost JABB
to a couple Charles Rocket fans in an online poker match.
Obviously that wasn't true and it was me who wrote CABB 1.
was fun! So much so I intended to write more CABBs if I ever
decided JABB needed a lil shaking up. But then in
October 2005, the world lost Charles Rocket to suicide.
Myself and others put together CABB 2 as a
memorial. And I
said it would be the last CABB. However, in the months that
have passed I began to rethink that. I asked the people on the
Yahoogroup to vote in a poll about whether CABB should continue with
the occasional issue. Overwhelmingly they voted yes. So
every year on August 24th (Charles Rocket's birthday) for the
duration of JABB's run we'll become CABB instead of JABB. Then
we'll also write CABBs another couple times a year when things need
shaking up. They'll consists of jokes about TBAA's original angel
of death and other Adamesque material. The August 24th issues
will celebrate the life of the actor who brought Adam to life.
This CABB will serve both
as a celebration of Charles Rocket's impact on our lives and also a
for suicide prevention information. If you're feeling suicidal or
suspect someone you love is, *please* take down the information
contained in this newsletter. It might not be a bad idea to carry
a card with the Suicide Prevention Hotline's phone number with you at
all times. You could end up saving a life and saving a family
from the pain of losing a loved one.
Now, with out further
adieu, we go onto CABB 3.
Dear Charles Rocket,
Every so often I wonder what this world would be like if you were still
a part of it. How much of an overwhelming impact people like you
have left on people like me. Perhaps it was not earth-shattering,
like a Nobel Prize, or time travel, but it did not take away from the
fact that it was important. Every time I turn on the television
and see your face still there, I remember how much of an impact you
really left behind. Only last week I was watching ‘Quantum Leap’
and I saw your name appear on the screen and a smile touched my lips as
I thought, ‘another of my favorite shows where you have been a part of
that legacy’. The character was perhaps not as nice as Adam, but
heck it was a character that was so needed in the overall telling of a
story. You have been a legacy to many and sadly you never really
knew that you gave me a sense of courage that I didn’t know I had.
Adam was a character that I related to probably more than any other, he
is a character that I could understand because I am probably as
misunderstood by the general TBAA fan-base as he is/was. I was
never the ‘popular kid on the block’, I never saw myself as being an
empowering person amidst the general fans. I have always seen
myself as being the one who came ‘this close’ to success, only to fall
short for whatever reason. It was in that sense that I related to
you. Both the fictional Adam, and the real Yvette have dealt with
issues of being different amidst the general assortment. We both
knew what it was like to be judged, put down, and even
misunderstood. Yet, we stood strong and knew that no matter what
happens, we always leaned on the fact that a joke or a sly remark would
enable us to continue. If nothing else happened, we always knew
we’d go down laughing.
What could be wrong with that? How could we ever think for even a
moment that it was not important?
You’re now among the stars, looking down upon us, and I
hope that if I
can accomplish anything fan related in my life; it would be to keep the
legacy positive, loving, and fun. If I cannot, then what would be
the point of me hanging around here anyway. I’ll keep fighting
for the legacy of the show that you were a part of, because you were a
part of it and you gave it a life that no one else could ever change or
taken away. Maybe one day, when we do meet on the other side, we
can stop and talk about things like chandeliers, pheasant, and how
close to home you really were when you were here and playing the Angel
Namasté & Love,
I have 2 memories of Charles, but both are of Adam as I don't remember
seeing him in anything else. I may have but just don't remember.
First off, when I first started watching TBAA, which was from the
start, Adam was the main AOD. I liked him so
much. Now this is kind of
funny. When they changed Adam to Andrew it took my bf at the time
to point out
that Adam wasn't Adam anymore. Aod was Andrew. I don't know why I
didn't notice the obvious change, but I didn't and we had a good laugh
about that as I'm usually very good with remembering faces.
My favorite memory of Adam, which endeared him to me even more, was the
turkey fiasco! As an AOD you'd think that taking someone to the Father
would not bother them as they will know a better life. When Adam would
not kill that turkey no matter what, including incurring Tess' wrath, I
really laughed and my heart opened even more. His acting was so
convincing I'd bet he'd done the same thing if it were a real life
Strapless Dresses and Feathered Friends
I think it's funny,
sometimes, what reminds us of people in our lives. Even more
funny when the people we find ourselves remembering aren't even really
in our lives. Yet they still have impact. Sometimes in big
ways and sometimes in small ways. Either way, I think that's a
really amazing thing about life. That someone miles and miles
away can have an impact on *you.* When it comes to Mr. Rocket
this truth is never more evident to me than when I'm clothes shopping...
In our own little twist on
the usual parent/child clothing wars, my mom has always been somewhat
appalled by my apparently conservative style of dress. Not
conservative in the sense that I run around in business suits.
Actually, I've been told more than once I look like I wandered out of
the 60s. Flared jeans, peasant tops, and beads. Lots of
beads. But I don't care to show much skin. So strapless
dresses or tops... no thanks! They're just not *me.*
A few weeks ago I was
compelled to do some pre-date clothes shopping by my grandma under my
mom's supervision. One of my mom's suggestions was... you guessed
it... a strapless top. I gawped at it. I contemplated the
role the laws of gravity might play in its ability to stay securely
where it needed to be. And I thought about Adam in "Fallen
Angela" and his concern about Monica's strapless dress. He didn't
seem to like it. Surely he wouldn't like me to wear that
strapless top, right? I had an ally! The angel of death was
on my side! So, because of Charles Rocket, I left that store with
a classic T-shirt and a gray and white tie-dye blouse. With
sleeves. Very much me. And I was happy and not
concerned about gravity. (Obligatory note: My mom did think I
should wear a shrug sweater or something over
the lil top. But still... it was strapless.)
So, clearly I was quite
attached to Adam's clothing philosophy in "Fallen Angela." But
I've long loved his defense of Alexander in "An Unexpected Snow."
In one of those strange twists of fate, right around the time Mr.
Rocket died my area became overrun with wild turkeys. In the
wake of his death, I became obsessed with those turkeys. I had
a plush turkey on my desk at work. I was making lil
angels holding turkeys to commemorate Mr. Rocket. I wanted to get
some photographs of the turkeys. Whether I saw a turkey or not
determined whether it was going to be a good day or a bad day.
Looking back, this was all possibly a touch insane. But I guess
ya do what ya gotta do.
I never did get the
photographs. I tried but the turkeys were always too far away or
too fast or I couldn't focus the camera right. But
a few weeks ago something happened. I had just told someone
something that had been very, very difficult for me to say. I'd
dreaded it for a week. I hoped and prayed I was right to say and
do what I had. Having just finished my undesireable
task, I was walking along and turned into this little field. And
there, only a few feet away, were five turkeys. I felt instantly
at peace with my decision and actions. And I thought of
The thing about Adam was
he didn't always say the most popular thing. He wasn't always
sweet and compliant. But he was who he was. He didn't play
a part for anybody. He probly wouldn't have worn a particular
clothing item just because it was in. And in that moment, in that
field, I realized that was the sorta person I needed to be. I
pictures. As I did I thanked Mr. Rocket for
bringing this wonderful character to life. With out him I may
never have learned that sometimes peace doesn't come with the coo of a
dove but with the gobble-gobble of turkeys.
Thank you, Charles Rocket.
I really didn't know much about Charles Rocket's career until I saw him
as Adam. After seeing him for the first
time in season 1, I enjoyed every minute he was on. He brought a
sense of humour and security to the role of Adam. What I mean is
that 'Adam' could make you laugh but, at the same
time, you felt secure, like nothing could go wrong when he was
around. 'Adam' was comforting almost like a big brother.
I doubt anyone else could have pulled off the role like Charles Rocket
did. It had to take a special person to portay the character.
Suicide Prevention Information
It's not for members
of JABB to
sit around and discuss or debate why Charles Rocket took his own
life. It's not our business and it would not be respectful to his
family. However, it is a fact that most people who commit suicide
were experiencing depression. Therefore, we at JABB would like to
do our part in educating people about depression, suicide, and ways you
can help prevent suicide. The following information was gathered
from pamphlets Jenni ordered from the American
Foundation for Suicide Prevention. If you would like pamphlets you can
order them here.
If you are unable
to order online, contact
Jenni. She purchased extra copies and would be willing to
mail one to you. Please consult the AFSP site for further
information. Thank you.
Some signs of
What to do if you fear someone
may be considering suicide:
- Lack of sleep/increased sleep
- Weight gain or loss/change in appetite
- Fatigue or inability to function
- Expressing feelings of hopelessness, uselessness, guilt, or
- Becoming easily anxious or angry
- Feeling out of control
- Increased use of alcohol or drugs
- Decrease of interest in activities previously enjoyed
- Talking excessively about death, expressing a wish to be dead
The AFSP also gives
guidelines for what they call "an acute crisis." This is when you
fear a person may harm or kill themselves soon. The guidelines
are as follows:
- By all means, take them
- Ask if they need to
talk. Don't just ask once and give up. Let them really know
you're there for them.
- Ask if they're considering
suicide or even if they've made any specific plans.
- Encourage them to seek out
professional help. Ask them if they would like you to go with
them. Research options with them.
- Stress how much you
care. Do not get angry. Do not lecture them about what it
would do to their family. They do not need a guilt trip.
They need support, love, and someone to listen.
Again, that information is all
at the American Foundation for Suicide
Please go there for further information. Now some of us would
like to say a few words ourselves. (Please note these are *our*
words now. They may not be the views of the AFSP.)
- Take your loved one to an ER or psychiatic hospital.
- Under no circumstances leave them alone.
- Remove guns, drugs, sharp objects, and anything else that could
be used in a suicide attempt from their presence.
- If a hospital or psychiatric clinic is unavailable call the National
Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK.
I've been lucky in that I've not ever had anyone very close to
me commit suicide. But, like anyone, I've had
my rough times
and I hope I've helped some people through their
own. Here are a few things I've learned:
~ Don't be afraid to ask for help.
~ If the first person
you go to isn't responsive, go to someone
else. Do *not* give up.
sit around and think "Oh but there are so many people worse
off, I have no right to complain..." If you need help, you need
help. There's no shame in that. And it's not selfish.
we at JABB think it best that you see someone face-to-face if
you're depressed, we're happy to talk to you if you just need a
listening ear. Your best bet would be to contact the JABB Sisterhood
address. That will put you in contact with four of us (Jess, Liz,
Karen, and myself) and the odds are pretty good at least one of us will
get the email with in a few hours of your sending it. (UPDATE: Since the JABB Sisterhood is
no longer in existence, the Sisterhood address has been disabled.
Please contact Jenni instead. Thank you.)
~ If you're in school or work
with youth, you might consider looking
into the Yellow Ribbon Program.
It's a really great organization that works to prevent teen
Finally, remember what TBAA told us: God loves you. Because
your are the beloved child of God, you deserve support and care and
love from your fellow children. Don't be afraid to seek that out.
I have been trying to figure out what it is that I wanted to contribute
to this page. I decided that the best thing that I could do is to
relate my own experiences with suicide. I have learned from
trying this in the past that you have to talk to someone as soon as
possible, either in person, thru the phone or via the internet.
You have to know that no matter what there is always someone there to
lend a hand and help you through having these thoughts. You also
have to think that if you were to commit suicide that yes it
might end the pain you are in, but for everyone that is in your life or
lives that you have affected in the slightest way their pain would be
just beginning. When I was suicidal and I figured that you know
everyone would be better off without me around. But that is not
true. Because if you do take your life everyone will start to
think, what could I have done to help, or what could I have done
this person would still be here. Those thoughts never go away for
the peoples life that have had to deal with someone committing
suicide. For the rest of their lives they will think about that
when they think of you. So please ask for help and don't feel
ashamed because you need help. Asking for help is the biggest
step you can take and trust then that the pieces of your life will
start to fall into place. It won't happen over night and the
thoughts might not go away but as long as you are willing to talk with
someone then you can and will survive through this. You will
become a better and stronger person for it. So I encourage anyone
with thoughts of suicide to take that chance and tell someone.
Jenni and Jarrod have covered so many important things about this
issue, but there are a couple of things I want to add. If your
friend says that the world would be better off without them take them
seriously. If you feel you haven't gotten through to them then go to
another adult, another friend, a counselor, teacher, spiritual advisor
and let them know what is going on. What ever you do don't just drop
it. Watch for change in appearance, behavior, if they start giving
things away that mean something to them. These are just a few signs
they might be contemplating suicide without saying it.
best advice is do the things Jenni has listed. Refer them to the places
she mentioned. Sometimes just listening helps, sometimes they just need
to talk things through, but don't take the chance. Use the information
Jenni has supplied. When I was a lot younger I lost 3 friends to
suicide. I just wish I had the info that Jenni has taken the time to
provide. My life was never the same without my friends. I eventually
worked through it, but it wasn't easy.
Thank you, Charles Rocket!!!
(Photo Credits: The photographs used on this page are from
"Touched by an Angel" and owned by CBS Productions, Caroline
Productions, and Moon Water Productions. They are not being used
to seek profit.)