By Kemara
DISCLAIMER: For the purpose of this story, I have taken
liberties with some aspects of Irish step dance. I have
been dancing for three years, but I am not an expert yet!
:) Any blatant inaccuracies are my own fault. Thanks to
Meg and Kolya for their editing and suggestions. All
disclaimers apply.
The lilting notes of an Irish jig floated out into the parking
lot. Monica, Tess and Andrew listened as they stood outside the
dance studio. A banner over the door read, "O'Connor School of
Irish Dance".
"It's such a cheerful sound," Monica commented, tapping her foot
to the rhythm.
Andrew nodded in agreement. "Yeah, it makes you want to jump up
and dance!" he grinned, doing a few shuffling steps. Monica
laughed, shoving him playfully.
"Will you two angel babies ever grow up?" Tess wondered aloud to
no one in particular, shaking her head.
"I doubt it," Andrew replied, putting an arm around Tess, "but
you still love us, right?"
"Of course I do." Tess returned the hug, drawing in Monica too.
"And speaking of growing up, our next assignment is a little
girl who's had to grow up very quickly. But she still has the
faith of a child. And that faith is about to be shattered unless
we help her."
Monica gestured to the studio. "So she's a dancer, then?"
"She is, but she's a very unusual one. You'll see what I mean
when you meet her," Tess replied. "Now, lets get inside. It's
too hot out here for me."
One Child's Dream
The three angels walked through the lobby and paused in the
doorway to watch for a moment. Girls and boys filled the large
mirrored room. Some stretched on the floor, while others laced
up black leather shoes or practiced high kicks at the ballet
barre along the wall. In the center of the studio, five teenage
girls danced in unison, their fiberglass-tipped shoes clacking
in perfect time with the music. They finished in a flurry of
clicking heels and bowed to a smattering of applause from their
fellow dancers.
"Hello. I'm Deirdre O'Connor." A young woman wearing black
leggings and an O'Connor school t-shirt approached them.
"Hello, I'm Monica. We spoke on the phone earlier about a
teaching position." Monica liked Deirdre immediately. The petite
brunette radiated energy and enthusiasm.
"Oh, yes!" Deirdre shook hands. "I'm so glad you're here. I can
really use the help."
Monica introduced Tess, and explained Andrew was a physical
therapist.
"If you're a physical therapist, I'll have to introduce you to
Sara." The teacher nodded over to the barre, where a girl of
about 14 practiced the same steps over and over, ignoring
everything else around her. The angels noticed that her feet
turned in and her balance wobbled occasionally.
"Is she new?" Monica asked sympathetically.
"No," Deirdre replied. "Sara has been taking lessons for three
years. She has cerebral palsy in her legs, but she loves to
dance. I think she has more heart than all of my other students
put together." She gave the teenager a motherly smile.
Deirdre led the visitors to some folding chairs where they could
sit down. "Actually, she hasn't done too badly. She's placed in
three competitions. We never dreamed she could get this far, but
she's really worked hard."
"Now Monica, let me see you dance," Deirdre's voice was suddenly
businesslike, "I'll be doing most of the teaching, but I'd like
you to be able to work one-on-one with the students who are
having trouble. And if you could lead them in the warm-ups
before class, that would be a great help."
She rummaged through a duffel bag and took out two pairs of
shoes. "These should fit if you didn't bring your own."
Monica smiled. "Actually, I did." She took a pair slippers from
a green bag on the chair next to her. Only Tess and Andrew
noticed that the bag had not been there a minute before.
"I'll get the music ready for you then." Deirdre walked over to
the stereo and began looking through CDs.
Monica laced the gillies, sending up a prayer of thanks for the
tights and knee-length black skirt she wore. Otherwise this
could be very embarrassing, she thought.
"Uh, Monica?" Andrew looked wary, "are you sure you can do this?
I mean, you have trouble singing....and dancing involves
music......" He trailed off as Monica glared at him.
"I guess we'll just have to find out." She stood and joined
Deirdre at the stereo.
"Oh, Lord," Tess moaned, resisting the urge to cover her eyes.
Andrew could only nod, and pray Monica wouldn't do too badly.
After a quick consultation with Deirdre, Monica walked to the
center of the floor. She stood straight with her arms down by
her sides, her feet turned out. The dancers settled down
cross-legged against the wall to watch.
A quick reel played on an accordion filled the studio and Monica
began to dance. On her toes she turned and leaped effortlessly,
her upper body held still while only her feet moved.
"Don't they call Irish dancing 'the ice of the body and the fire
of the feet'?" Andrew whispered to Tess.
Tess nodded silently, her expression amazed.
After doing two steps of the reel Monica pointed her toe and
bowed to Deirdre. The children clapped and whistled in
amazement.
"Very nice, Monica", Deirdre said approvingly. "Let me see you
do a treble jig, if you would, please."
Monica came back over to Andrew and Tess to change into hard
shoes with fiberglass heels and toe tips.
"You did good, Angel Girl," Tess complimented.
Monica tossed her long red hair out of her face. "It's fun," she
grinned. She finished buckling the shoes and went back out on
the floor.
Her treble jig was just as good as her reel. Now, she pounded
out the beat as tap dancers do, adding toe stands and heel
clicks for emphasis. As before, she finished with a bow after
doing two steps.
Deirdre joined in the applause. "Wonderful, Monica. Children,
this in Monica, and she's going to be working as my assistant.
Everyone gather around, now. I want to talk to you for a minute
about the Oireachtas. That's the regional competition," Deirdre
explained for Tess and Andrew as the youngsters sat down again
noisily.
"The Regionals are at the end of November," Deirdre continued.
"For those of you who are new, let me explain how they work. Its
a two-day competition where the best dancers compete. You dance
one hard shoe and one soft shoe. If you get recalled, you'll
dance your nontraditional set piece that's choreographed just
for you. Those who place will go on to Ireland for the World
Championships in April." She paused to allow the chatter to die
down. "I suppose you'd like to know who's going?" she teased.
"Tell us!" Kathleen, one of the older girls, was practically
shaking with excitement.
Deirdre took out a sheet of paper from her folder. "Those of you
in six and eight hand figure teams will being going, as well as
the 13 and under girls ceili. We have four solo dancers this
year: Jennifer McKay, Sara Porter, Kathleen Shannon, and Megan
Johnson."
"Why is she going?" one girl asked, glaring at Sara, "she's just
in Novice."
Deirdre sighed. "Because she works hard and she deserves this
chance. You know Novice dancers compete all the time. I believe
you were in Novice at your first Regionals. Right?"
"Yeah. I didn't place either," the girl muttered sullenly.
"I might not place, but I want to try," Sara said, forcing a
smile.
"And that's all anyone can ask, Sara, that you do your best.
That goes for all of you. Do you best and have fun." Deirdre
grinned. "we're all winners here!"
The dancers cheered and began gathering up their things.
Sara unbuckled her shoes, her face downcast.
"Hey, cheer up, Thumper! We'll sweep the medals at Regionals.
I'll call you tonight." Jennifer, Sara's best friend, picked up
her purple shoe bag and hurried out the door.
"Bye, Jennifer!" Sara waved, but as soon as the other girl left,
her smile faded.
Monica walked over to her. "They call you Thumper?"
"Yeah, because my feet spasm sometimes. Jennifer says it reminds
her of that rabbit, Thumper, from Bambi, pounding his foot on
the ground to warn his friends of danger." Sara sighed. "usually
I don't mind when they call me that."
"Why do you love dancing so much?" Monica asked gently, joining
her on the floor. "It must be very hard sometimes."
Sara glanced at Monica. "I'll tell you, if you promise not to
laugh." When Monica nodded, she went on. "Well, the first time I
went to a competition I did two dances. In the first one I
almost fell right there on stage. It was so embarrassing!" Her
cheeks flushed and it was a moment before she continued. "But
when I started my jig, everything changed. It felt like someone
held me up. I had no control over my body. I remember watching
myself dance and thinking, 'is this me?'. I placed third, and
I've never danced so well since. I think my guardian angel
helped me. So, after that I decided to dance just for God, to
thank Him for all He's done for me." Sara laughed shakily. "I
know you think I'm crazy, but that's how I feel."
Monica's eyes filled with tears. "No Sara, I think it's a
beautiful gift, and so does God."
The girl smiled. "I hope so. If I place high in the Regionals, I
can dance at the World Championships in Ireland. That's my
dream. That's what I pray for every night."
"We'll do everything we can to help you get there." Even as she
spoke, Monica prayed silently: "Father, show us how!"
Monica beckoned to Tess and Andrew. "Sara, these are my friends,
Andrew and Tess."
"Will you let me look at your legs?" Andrew asked Sara, "I'm a
physical therapist."
"I haven't been to PT since I was six," Sara replied, taking off
her socks. "The doctors said I could have an operation to make
my legs the same length, but I don't have time to do that right
now."
"Well, I can think of a few things that might help you." Andrew
manipulated her foot carefully, flexing it up and down. "Have
you ever heard of a drug called Botox?"
"No, what does it do?"
"It's an injection that relaxes the muscles," he replied. "each
injection lasts for about three weeks. During that time you go
to therapy to stretch the muscles and tendons while they're
loose. When the injections are stopped, the affected muscles
aren't so tight."
"Can I try it?" Sara asked hopefully.
"I'll talk to your doctor and your parents. Maybe we can work
something out."
Hard Work
Over the next few months Sara began a regimen of Botox
injections and physical therapy with Andrew. The stretching
sessions were torture.
"I can't do it, Andrew! It hurts too much!" Sara wiped away
tears.
"I know it hurts, honey, but you have to keep trying. We don't
have much time." Andrew was patient and gentle, pushing her a
little further each day.
As her legs improved, Sara learned she could go far beyond the
limits she had placed for herself and her confidence soared.
With Deirdre and Monica's help, she began working on her dances
for the Regional competition and together they created a
hornpipe set dance for her. The set, performed to a specific, or
set tune, showcased a dancer's individual strengths and talents.
"I don't think we'll worry about putting in frills like toe
stands and clicks," Deirdre mused one Saturday in September.
"You'll do better with something simple and elegant."
Monica stood. "How about this?" She performed a series of steps,
adding double shuffles and sideways jumps which Sara did
particularly well.
"I can do that!" Sara copied her excitedly.
"Good!" Deirdre exclaimed. "Let's see what else we can come up
with....."
The Dress
As September faded into October, practice for the Oireachtas
increased. Besides preparing new dances, the competitors bought
new costumes as well. Solo dresses costing hundreds of dollars
arrived from Ireland, and the girls modeled them excitedly.
Because Sara was only in Novice, she had no solo dress, and her
parents could not afford one.
"I don't mind," the girl told Monica one day as they watched
Jennifer practice in her new red and navy costume. "My parents
have been so wonderful about paying for my lessons and shoes,
not to mention the medicine. My school dress will be fine."
Though she spoke bravely, the angels could tell Sara badly
wanted a special dress of her own. They began to pray. Two weeks
later they gathered around Sara after a lesson.
"Sweetie, you've worked so hard, we decided you needed a
reward." Tess winked as Monica came in carrying a blue dress
bag.
Sara looked at it, puzzled. "Is that for me?"
Monica unzipped the bag and held up a dress for Sara to see. It
was dark purple velvet with Celtic knotwork embroidered in blue,
white and sliver. White satin lined the skirt and sleeves. On
the front panel, a dove shone in white thread, wings
outstretched. The sliver trimmed cape showed a Celtic cross sewn
in blue.
"It's beautiful!" Sara gasped. She took the dress from Monica
and ran a shaking hand over the soft fabric. "Where did you get
it? It must've cost a fortune."
Andrew smiled. "It's from a friend of ours. He knows all about
you and how hard you've worked. He wanted you to have it as a
present."
Sara began to cry, laughing through her tears. "Will you tell
him I said thank you?"
Tess pulled her into a hug. "He already knows, Baby. He already
knows."
At the Regionals
During Thanksgiving weekend, the group from the O’Connor school
arrived at the Crowne Plaza where the Regionals would be held
over two days. Monica and Sara shared a room, as Sara’s parents
had been unable to afford the trip.
After they unpacked, Sara hurried down the hall to Deirdre’s
room which was crowded with dancers. Jennifer immediately set
about rolling Sara’s long hair on bright foam curlers.
“I look like a porcupine!” Sara laughed looking in the mirror.
“We all do!” Jennifer replied, admiring the neon green spikes on
her own head.
Monica showed up with Sara’s shoe bag just as Jennifer secured
the last curler. “OK! You go on down and practice. I’ll be there
in a little while.”
Deirdre called out over the chaos. “Practice downstairs in the
“A” ballroom in an hour! Anyone who is late will not dance
tomorrow. We’ll go over figures and a few solos if we have
time.”
Andrew met Monica and Sara in the hall and the three went
downstairs together. The huge ballroom had been set up with a
with a wooden floor surrounded by chairs for tomorrow’s
competition. A few other dancers milled around, getting used to
the stage.
Sara changed into her gillies and Andrew helped her go through
some simple exercises to warm up her muscles.
“Nothing strenuous,” he warned her. “I don’t want you going all
out and hurting yourself.”
Sara took a few hopping steps around the floor. “I hope they put
on rosin tomorrow. It’s slippery already.”
“Let’s just try a beginner reel and see how you do,” Monica
suggested, joining her. They held hands and danced the simple
piece through a few times until Sara was panting.
“That’s enough,” she made her way to a chair. “Let me sit down a
minute.”
Andrew handed her a bottle of water. “Here, drink this. You’re
nervous and that makes it harder.” He massaged her calves. “It’s
a good thing we could practice tonight. You’ll be more relaxed
in the morning.”
“Yeah, right,” Sara muttered crossly.
Andrew pretended to pout. “Hey, would I lie to you? You’ll be
fine.”
“Look at them.” Sara gestured to two dancers from the Sullivan
school who were practicing a complicated treble jig. “My stuff
looks like baby dances next to theirs.”
Monica sat down beside her. “Sara, you know that Deirdre decided
it would be better if you did simple dances very well than to
try something too difficult.”
“I know, but I wish I could do all that fancy stuff. I can’t
even click my heels,” Sara remarked gloomily as one girl
performed triple clicks to finish her routine.
“Focus on what you can do, not what you can’t,” Monica
instructed her. “What you can do, you do nicely. Now, let’s see
your hornpipe.”
Even Sara admitted that her set dance was good. The tune was
“King of the Fairies”, a haunting, slow piece that called for
good rhythm and perfect timing. Sometimes Sara liked to pretend
she was Bernadette Flynn dancing to this same song in Feet of
Flames. Tonight though, the excitement of actually being at the
Regionals left her no need to pretend.
Tess sang the tune for her, and expected Sara to be able to do
the same. “It will help you concentrate your timing,” she said.
As Sara finished up, the O’Connor group came in with Deirdre who
was carrying a stereo. As Deirdre and the Sullivan school
teacher conferred about music, their students changed into soft
shoes.
“OK,” Mary Sullivan clapped her hands. “We’ll start with a reel
and go from there.” She put in a CD.
The song began and dancers filled the large stage, leaping,
turning and kicking in every direction. Sara looked a little
frightened of the tumult.
“Sara, let’s go!” Deirdre called, walking over.
Sara hesitantly stepped into the crowd of dancers and waited for
her cue, trying not to get hit.
“Will she be alright?” Monica asked as Sara narrowly avoided
being kicked and run into.
“Oh, this is easy compared to tomorrow,” Deirdre assured her.
“She’ll only have one other person onstage with her then, but
she won’t be able to hide any mistakes. This teaches the kids to
keep their eyes open, and gets them using the stage. Judges like
to see that.”
A graceful slip jig followed the reel and Sara took advantage of
the lull to change into her hard shoes.
“That was crazy!” she exclaimed, wrapping loops of elastic
around her feet to keep the shoes tight. “I thought I was going
to get brained, or stepped on.”
“You’ll just have to live up to your nickname and bounce out of
the way like a rabbit,” Jennifer laughed.
Practice for the treble jig and hornpipe was done with three
dancers at a time because the risk of injury was greater if
someone happened to get kicked by mistake.
When all the solos had danced, Deirdre dismissed them so the
teams could have the stage.
“I want every one of you in bed by 10:00. Tomorrow’s a busy day.
Meet me in the lobby at 8:00 to sign in and pick up your
numbers. And girls, when you’re not dancing, make sure you wear
a smock over your costume. Those dresses cost a lot of money,
but one hot dog can ruin them.”
The group laughed at this, and headed back to their rooms.
“Think we’ll sleep at all?” Sara asked as Jennifer opened her
door.
Jennifer gave a huge yawn. “I know I will. I’m beat. See you in
the morning.”
Morning came soon enough.
Monica helped Sara with her dress, pinning the cape at the left
shoulder and right hip with sterling silver Tara brooches.
Together they stood in front of the mirror and admired the
effect. Rhinestones on the skirt and sleeves glittered. The
purple velvet set off Sara’s light skin. Monica carefully
applied heavy makeup to the girl’s face so her complexion would
not wash out under the bright lights.
Sara gathered up her bag and they hurried down to the lobby.
“There. You look lovely.” Monica pinned a matching velvet
headband to Sara’s light brown hair. Long spiral curls flowed
down her back, held with a white satin scrunchie behind the
purple crown.
Sara grimaced. “I don’t feel lovely. I feel terrified.”
“You’ll do great,” Andrew assured her. He tweaked her nose
playfully and she managed a tiny smile.
Tess hurried up. “Now, let’s hear you sing your set dance one
more time, just to make sure you haven’t forgotten it.”
“I could do it in my sleep,” Sara complained. “Sing it, I mean,
not dance it.”
“Now you stop talking like that! I know you can sing and dance
it too. So let’s hear it.” Tess raised an eyebrow.
With an exasperated sigh Sara launched into “King of the
Fairies”, her hands moving as she danced the hornpipe in her
mind.
“Very nice,” Tess told her when she finished. “Why don’t we go
find a seat?”
The competitions were being held in two ballrooms on the main
floor of the hotel. The “A” ballroom, where they had practiced
the previous night was crowded with spectators and dancers in
brightly colored costumes.
Joining Deirdre, the angels and Sara watched the O’Connor Under
13 ceili team compete “The Three Tunes”. The girls, all 11 years
old, took third place. Considering they had never competed at
such a high level before, it was quite an achievement.
“You see what hard work can do?” Andrew whispered to Sara as the
team accepted their trophy amid loud cheers.
‘Yes,” Sara replied, her cheeks flushed with excitement.
“You’re up next, honey,” Deirdre pointed to the board which
showed the next competitions.
Sara took a deep breath to control her nerves, and stood up.
“Well, this is it.”
With hugs of support, Monica, Tess and Andrew watched her go
with Jennifer to sign in.
“They place three dancers and one alternate,” Deirdre told them.
“If one girl can’t compete, then the alternate gets to go.
Sara’s competition has five dancers. Someone won’t place at
all.” She didn’t have to say what they were all thinking. Sara
was that someone.
“Does she have any chance?” Monica watched Sara stretching at
the side of the stage.
“It’ll take a miracle for that child to win,” Tess replied. She
raised her eyes to Heaven, “Father, we sure could use one.”
“Amen,” Andrew said softly. His heart ached for all the pain
Sara had endured just for this moment, and it wouldn’t be
enough.
“Competition 7, girls 14 and under, to the stage please,” the
announcer called out.
“They’ll do a reel and a treble jig. Those who are recalled will
dance a hornpipe for their set,” Deirdre murmured as the five
girls lined up across the back of the wooden floor
The dancers performed two at a time. The odd number meant that
the last girl would dance alone, a stressful position. Deirdre
nodded when she saw Sara in the second pair. “God please be with
her,” she whispered.
Sara danced very well. Her steps were elementary compared to
those of the other girls, but her precise technique, sense of
timing and bright smile set her apart. When she bowed, the
O’Connor group let out a huge cheer and clapped till their hands
hurt.
The fifth girl was Sara’s best friend, Jennifer. She was
confident, knowing she had the adjudicators’ undivided
attention.
She danced brilliantly, feet flying, legs very straight. She
leaped high in the air, seeming to hover like a bird for a split
second. As she landed, her foot slipped. The audience heard the
sickening crack even above the music, as her ankle snapped.
Jennifer screamed in pain and fell to the floor, clutching her
foot. Deirdre rushed to her side. With the help of two fathers
they carried Jennifer out of the room. When she passed them,
Monica placed a gentle hand on her shoulder and the child’s sobs
quieted as her pain eased.
For a few minutes the spectators milled about uncertainly,
talking about the accident. Then an official came forward. “The
adjudicators are asked to score competition 7 with four
competitors. We will continue with competition 13, boys 9 and
under.” An assistant sprinkled rosin on the floor so no one else
would slip.
Sara came over to the three angels, her face white. “Will
Jennifer be OK?” she asked, holding back tears.
“She’ll be fine.” Deirdre answered, making her way back through
the crowd. “But that ankle’s definitely broken. She won’t be
able to dance on it any time soon. They’ve taken her to the
hospital to set it and for x-rays.”
She hugged Sara. “You did a fantastic job! I’m so proud of you.
If you do that well for your jig, you’ll be on your way to
Ireland.”
“What happens now that Jennifer is out of the competition?”
Monica wanted to know as Sara hurried off to change out of her
gillies.
Deirdre sighed. “Well, now there are four dancers instead of
five which gives Sara the alternate spot at the moment. They may
decide to place all four. It just depends.”
“So she is going to the Worlds, then?” Andrew asked.
“Yes,” Deirdre replied. “Unless she gets hurt she’s going.”
Tess looked puzzled. “You don’t sound too happy about it.”
“I’m just worried about what will happen when Sara gets to
Dublin and discovers the competition is way over her head. I’d
hate to see it destroy her self-esteem after she’s gotten this
far.”
“We’ll worry about that when the time comes,” Tess told her.
“All we can do now is pray.”
Deirdre smiled, “You’re right, Tess. Thank you.”
Sara ate lunch with the three angels in the hotel restaurant,
while they waited for the first round of competition to finish.
To distract the teenager, Andrew told silly jokes that kept them
all laughing.
After eating, they browsed the vendors set up in the lobby.
Monica insisted on buying Sara a pair of silver buckles for her
hard shoes. “They match your dress,” she remarked.
Back in the ballroom, Deirdre helped Sara place duct tape on the
bottoms of her hard shoes.
“Now, that should give you better traction,” she tore off one
last piece. “Remember to hop straight back behind so you don’t
loose your balance. I don’t want you falling too.”
“I won’t; I promise.” Sara grinned, feeling no hint of
nervousness.
‘Good girl,” Deirdre hugged her. “I see Kathleen over there. Why
don’t you go warm up with her?”
“Thanks, Miss O’Connor”. Sara ran off in a clatter of noise.
Deirdre shook her head. “I feel a headache coming on already.”
The three angels laughed and Andrew handed her a couple of
Advil.
Sara did not fall, although her treble jig gave her some
problems. Once her foot skidded, but she recovered to finish
strong. For a girl with a limp and turned in feet, it was a
triumph.
“Yes!” Deirdre leaped to her feet along with the rest of the
audience. Sara’s disability had become well known over the
weekend, gaining her many admirers.
Sara hurried over, her face glowing. “I thought I was done for
when I slipped,” she gasped.
“You kept your composure very well,” Monica complimented, as
they made room for the teenager to sit down.
“Look! They’re going to tell who got recalled,” Sara whispered
eagerly
A woman with a clip board came out in the middle of the dance
floor and motioned for quiet.
“We have the results for the first two rounds of Competition 7,
girls 14 and Under. The following dancers will be recalled
tomorrow afternoon for the final round: Sharon Massey, Katie
Donealy, Theresa Bell, and Sara Porter.”
Sara flung her arms around Deirdre. “We all got recalled!”
“I knew you could do it!” Deirdre’s bright smile showed no hint
of worry. ‘Why don’t you get changed, and rest for a while
before dinner? I know you’re tired.”
Sara nodded. “Now that you mention it, I am kind of beat.”
Monica helped her gather up her things and they walked back to
their room together. While Sara changed, Monica tidied up the
room which looked like a tornado had been through it.
“I want to go see Jennifer,” Sara said coming out of the
bathroom. She had changed into jeans and an O’Connor school
sweatshirt, but her hair was still curled. Monica could see dark
circles under her eyes, even with the heavy makeup.
“You need to lie down,” Monica told her. “Otherwise you’ll be
too tired to dance your set for the recall tomorrow.”
“I will later, but I need to talk to her. Please, Monica,” Sara
pleaded.
Monica understood. “I’ll take you.”
At the hospital they learned Jennifer was being held overnight
for x-rays and observation. Her mother told them that although
the break was serious, doctors had decided against operating.
While Monica waited in the hallway, Sara went quietly into
Jennifer’s private room. Her friend was awake and watching TV.
“Hi! Congratulations!” Jennifer hugged her carefully, and Sara
pulled up a chair.
For a moment they said nothing, each lost in her own thoughts.
“You should’ve won,” Sara told her finally, “not me.”
“No, I deserved to fall.” Jennifer hesitated. “About a week ago
I decided to try loosing a few pounds before the Regionals. I
skipped a few meals and practiced instead.” She looked sheepish.
“Stupid, I know, but I didn’t think it would matter. When I got
up this morning I felt lightheaded but I figured it was just
nerves. I should’ve realized I was too weak to dance.”
“I’m sorry, Jen.” Sara leaned over and took her hand.
“So, I’m glad you’ve got a chance,” Jennifer continued, smiling.
“I hope you go to Ireland and kick butt!”
The two girls laughed, but Sara quickly sobered. “I’m just the
alternate, right now. I still have to dance my set tomorrow.”
“You’ll get the alternate automatically, don’t worry. Go to
Dublin and have a good time...check out all those guys in
kilts!”
That sent them off in another giggling fit, until the nurse
looked in.
“Sorry to interrupt your fun, but Jennifer needs to go down for
a few more x-rays.”
Sara stood. “I’ll let you know how it goes,” she told her
friend.
“I want pictures!” Jennifer said as the nurse wheeled her out of
the room.
Sara joined Monica in the hallway. “Thanks for bringing me,
Monica. Let’s go before I fall asleep standing up.”
The Finals
Sara slept uneasily despite being so tired. She woke in the
middle of the night unable to get back to sleep no matter how
much she tossed and turned.
“Sara?”
“Oh, Monica. I’m sorry I woke you up.”
Monica got up and sat on the edge of Sara’s bed. “That’s
alright. Is something bothering you?”
Sara almost said no, but suddenly she found herself telling
Monica everything. “I didn’t want it to be this way! I wanted to
go to Ireland because I was good, not because someone else got
hurt. I wanted to earn it!” Angry tears started down her face.
Monica brushed them away and put a comforting arm around her.
”Sara, you have worked so hard for this. If anyone deserves to
win, you do. You haven’t let your disability stop you, and
that’s really something to be proud of no matter how you place
in Ireland. In God’s eyes you have earned it. Remember that.”
“Really?”
“Yes,” Monica assured her. “Now, you get some rest. Morning will
be here before you know it.” She tucked Sara in and kissed her
forehead lightly. “Sleep well.”
The next morning found Sara in the ballroom at 8:00. She had
come down right after breakfast to watch the younger girls dance
their final round. Her own competition would not come until late
that afternoon.
As she watched, she thought about the changes of the past few
months. The arrival of Monica, Tess and Andrew had been a
turning point in her life. Her dancing had improved
tremendously, and her confidence soared. "Thank you, Father, for
giving me so many gifts", she prayed.
Behind her, unseen, Monica, Tess and Andrew shared a smile.
Sara’s competition was next to last. For the set, each dancer
was alone on stage and could use the entire floor. One by one
the other girls danced. Sara was last. As she walked out, the
announcer called out the title of her set along with the
metronome speed.
“King of the Fairies at 114.”
Because she knew the music by heart, Sara could concentrate more
on her style and technique. She focused on pointing her toes,
and getting out strong, loud trebles. She would have to impress
the judges with clean, simple dancing, instead of difficult
steps.
She surrendered to the music and let herself go. She forgot
about the judges, and just danced for the sheer joy of it. Sara
finished with a stamp, and bowed to the musicians. To her
surprise, the audience leaped to their feet in a standing
ovation.
Sara made her way back over to her friends and sat down weakly.
“I think I’m going to faint.” She felt Andrew put a supporting
arm around her, and someone handed her a water bottle.
“Sara? Are you OK?” Deirdre and Monica looked worried.
“Yeah, I’ll be fine. Just give me a minute,” Sara tried to get
her breath back.
Kathleen hurried up to them. “Sara, I have never seen you dance
like that! You were fantastic!” Other spectators murmured in
agreement.
“I did pretty good, didn’t I?” Sara asked wonderingly.
“Yes, you did, baby.” Tess answered proudly.
The final competition was the treble reel. All the competitors
stood in a line and danced one step in turn. In honor of the
holiday season, the musicians played Jingle Bells and everyone
clapped to the beat.
The awards ceremony was the highlight of the weekend. The
winners received a sash, trophy, and for some competitions,
Irish crystal. For Sara’s competition the dancers were awards
starting with the lowest place and ending with first.
Sara sat clutching Deirdre’s hand, waiting for the results.
“Fourth place goes to.....”
Sara began to stand up, but the next words froze her in the
chair.
“.....Katie Donealy.”
Sara heard a roaring in her ears, then she realized it was the
sound of applause.
“Third place......Sara Porter.”
Sara was crying so hard they had to help her onto the podium.
Through her tears she could see Deirdre, Tess, Monica and Andrew
beaming. Someone put a blue sash over her head and handed her a
trophy. It all had the quality of a dream even as flashbulbs
popped.
After the awards had been given out all the winners were called
back up for the Parade of Champions. The dancers took turns
doing one step of a reel, then all joined hands to dance
together.
Through it all, one phrase echoed in Sara’s mind: Thank you God.
To Ireland
Sara’s excitement after the Oireachtas knew no bounds. When she
wasn’t practicing, she watched the 1994 video of the World
Championships over and over. She was surprised to find that she
could do many of the same steps as the winners. Deirdre did not
tell her that Irish dancing had become more complicated, and
steps that were once Championship level could now be done by
those in Novice.
“I don’t want to discourage her,” Deirdre told Monica and Tess
as they waited for Sara to finish physical therapy with Andrew.
“Yeah, she’s really thrilled,” Tess grinned at Sara’s
determination.
“You are coming with us, right?” Deirdre asked anxiously. “I
don’t know what Sara would do without you three.”
Monica and Tess traded meaningful glances
“Yes,” Monica replied. “We wouldn’t miss it.”
In April a huge group from the O’Connor school saw them off at
the airport with banners and balloons. Someone brought a penny
whistle and the ceili team danced a quick jig while everyone
clapped.
“Come on, Sara! Get out there!” Jessica called from where she
watched in her wheelchair.
Sara blushed but she quickly gave in to the excitement, showing
off part of her treble jig, and even improvising on it.
The overnight flight to Dublin on Aer Lingus took 7 hours, and
Sara surprised herself by dropping right off to sleep after
dinner. The next morning as they flew low over Ireland, she
looked down at the green hills and cried with happiness.
“I never thought I’d see it,” she sobbed to Monica. Jessica also
had tears in her eyes.
“It is beautiful, isn’t it?” Monica agreed, admiring the stone
walls below.
“You’re Irish, aren’t you?” Jessica asked her
Monica hesitated. “Well, not exactly.....”
Jessica turned back to the window. “I guess everyone is, a
little bit.”
Smiling to herself, Monica did not reply.
Sara had never seen anything like the Burlington Hotel in
Dublin. It was the largest hotel in Ireland with 500 rooms,
lavishly decorated. A huge banner proclaimed that this was the
site for the “Oireachtas Rince Na Cruinne”, the World
Championships. Dancers from the British Isles, North America,
and Australia had all gathered for two weeks of competition over
Easter.
Although Sara’s competition wasn’t for a week, the Under 13
ceili team would dance for the first time on Wednesday. Deirdre
and Monica spent most of their waking hours rehearsing them,
leaving Sara to spend time with Andrew and Tess.
They had fun shopping on Grafton Street, and Sara danced in a
pub one night to the accompaniment of a traditional band. The
local people were impressed with her courage and promised to
come to the Burlington the following Monday to watch her
compete.
Wednesday, the little girls’ ceili team placed fourth out of
seven schools. They laughed and vowed to come back next year to
do even better. Sara admired their pluck. "I wonder if I could
say the same", she thought.
This time Sara had 11 dancers in her competition, instead of
three as at the Regionals. She watched the other girls practice
with a sinking feeling in her stomach.
“They’re all in Open Championships,” she whispered to Monica
Sunday afternoon. “That’s the highest level in Irish dancing.
I’m dead meat.”
Monica smiled at her dramatics. “Don’t say that. All you can do
is your best. We think you’re a winner.”
“Yeah, you and who else?” Sara muttered darkly, but she did stop
complaining.
“How’s she doing?” Andrew watched as Sara did a few leaps across
the ballroom set aside for a practice space.
“She’s worried,” Monica replied. “She can’t help seeing that the
other girls are much better dancers than she is. It’s a shame,
Andrew, after she’s worked so hard.” Monica held back tears.
Andrew patted her hand. “Yeah, I know.....I know.”
Monday morning Sara found the angels and Deirdre in the hotel
restaurant at breakfast.
“Look at my shoes,” she told them, holding the pair soles up.
The fiberglass tip on the right shoe was very thin from use. By
contrast, the left one looked brand new. “I can’t dance in
these. No wonder my balance is so bad.”
“I see what you mean,” Deirdre commented, checking the shoes
over. “But Sara, it takes a long time to break in new shoes, and
with your problems.....” She trailed off.
Sara refused to be swayed. “I didn’t have any trouble breaking
in this pair.”
Deirdre sighed. “Andrew, Monica? What do you think?”
“Well, Sara does have a point about them affecting her balance.
We don’t have time to have this pair retipped before this
afternoon.” Andrew tried to be diplomatic. “At the same time, I
think new shoes could cause a problem, but it’s up to Sara .”
Monica nodded in agreement.
“Sara, I really think you should wait until after your
competition, but it’s your decision.” Deirdre sighed. “You know
how you feel, so I won’t interfere.”
Sara began having second thoughts, but she didn’t want to admit
it. “Can we go find some new ones?”
The adults stood up. “Yeah,” Andrew said. “Let’s go.”
At the Rutherford booth Sara tried on several pairs of hard
shoes. They finally settled on a pair with back straps for added
support. Sara particularly liked how the new shoe design made it
easier for her to click her heels. She wanted to practice in
them, but Deirdre hurried her into gillies.
“Your reel is in an hour,” the teacher cautioned. “Practice
makes perfect, you know.”
While she wasn’t perfect, Sara held her own against stiff
competition and older dancers in the girls’ reel. She admitted
to being disoriented by the high stage. “One misstep and you’re
in the audience!” she laughed afterwards.
“I like these new hard shoes,” she continued, strapping them on.
“They feel comfortable. I’m gonna go practice my jig.” She
picked up her bag and hurried out of the ballroom.
“Andrew, does it look like Sara’s limp has gotten worse?”
Deirdre asked when the teen was out of earshot.
Andrew shook his head. “Yeah, but I don’t think it has to do
with her CP.”
“You think....” Monica didn’t finish, almost afraid that voicing
the words would make them true.
“Yeah, I do.”
From the beginning of her treble jig it was clear that Sara was
in trouble.
“What’s wrong with her?” Monica asked in alarm. Sara danced as
though she were in terrible pain, with no hint of a smile.
“I don’t know,” Deirdre replied, worried. “She hasn’t made any
technical mistakes, but something’s not right.”
Sara managed to finish the dance, but as she walked backwards to
make her second bow, she nearly fell.
“Oh, my God,” Deirdre watched as Sara stumbled down from the
stage. The girl shook, trying to hold back sobs. Tess led her
over to a quiet corner away from prying eyes.
Monica knelt and unbuckled Sara’s new shoes. As she eased them
off, they saw blood staining the left sock. On Sara’s heel oozed
a large broken blister where the tough leather had dug in.
“Oh, Sara. Why didn’t you tell us?” Deirdre whispered, as Andrew
dug through the first aid kit for a bandage and ointment.
Sara raised her head, eyes red and swollen. “You didn’t think I
should get them in the first place,” she gasped. “I didn’t want
to say you were right after you spent all that money.”
Monica held Sara still as Andrew cleaned the wound and covered
it. “That didn’t matter,” the Irish angel said. “You still
should’ve told us. We would rather you had said something than
get hurt like this.”
“I’m sorry,” Sara choked out.
Andrew finished tending to Sara’s foot and picked her up in his
arms. “You’ve got a nasty sore, there. You’ll be lucky if it
doesn’t get infected.” He carried her to her room while the
others followed. “Wear your sneakers for the next few days,
until it heals. And no dancing!”
Sara gulped. “Yes Sir.”
“OK. We’ll leave you with Monica to get changed.” He ushered
Tess and Deirdre out and shut the door.
Twenty minutes later Sara and Monica came back downstairs where
Tess, Andrew and Deirdre waited. As a group they went back in
the ballroom. Deirdre reached over and took Sara’s hand, holding
it tightly.
As they feared, Sara’s name wasn’t on recall list. Forced to
accept her defeat for the first time, Sara did the only thing
she could think of. She ran out of the room.
Broken Dreams
“Sara, wait!” Andrew yelled after her, but the girl did not look
back.
Sara ran blindly, her heel throbbing, until she came to St.
Brendan’s Catholic church where she had attended Mass that
Sunday. She pushed open the wooden door and went inside. She
knelt in a pew and tried to pray, but no words came.
"I’m so sorry, Father". Sara put her face in her hands and
cried. “I let You down,” she sobbed. “I was going to win for
You, but I failed.”
“No Sara. You didn’t fail.”
“Leave me alone, Monica.” Sara turned away miserably. “I don’t
want to talk right now.”
“You don’t need to talk, baby. You just need to listen.”
“Tess?” Sara lifted her head. “Andrew? What’s going on?”
The three glowed with heavenly light in the darkened church.
“We’re angels, Sara,” Andrew replied. “sent by God to be with
you at just this moment.”
Sara nodded slowly. “I think, deep down I knew that you were. My
life has been so wonderful since you showed up.” She smiled
sadly. “You know, there’s this verse from the Bible that I love.
It’s where Jesus’ disciples ask if a man has sinned and been
punished with blindness. Jesus tells them that the man was born
that way so that God’s works could be shown in him,” Sara
sighed. “I thought that if I could win that would really
encourage people and show what God can do.”
“Sara do you remember what you said about wanting to dance just
for God?” Monica asked.
“Yes.” Sara felt uneasy, remembering her defiant attitude.
“Well, He is very proud of you right now,” Monica continued.
Sara interrupted angrily. “How can He be? I lost and I did
something stupid!”
“You did not lose!” Tess answered sternly. “You may not have
gotten that gold medal, but you did the best you could. God
doesn’t care if you have a hundred medals, he just cares about
you.”
“And as for making the wrong decision,” Monica added, “God knows
that you will make mistakes. He gave you gift of free will, so
that you could learn from them. And what have you learned,
Sara?” she asked gently.
Sara gazed at the crucifix over the altar. “That I should trust
him.”
“You did dance for His glory, Sara,” Andrew told her. “He wants
you to know it was the best gift you could have given Him, a
gift of love from your heart.” The angel of death smiled. “And
you have certainly encouraged many people.”
Monica handed Sara a glossy magazine.
“Irish Dancing Magazine?” Sara asked staring at the cover.
“Look on page 12,” Tess suggested.
“Disabled Girl Shows true Irish Spirit. Irish dancer Sara Porter
won third place at the Southern Regional Championships in
December,” Sara read aloud. “Such an achievement is amazing in
the dance world considering that 14 year-old Sara has Cerebral
Palsy in her legs. Her success has drawn the attention of dance
therapists and teachers all over the United States. ‘She’s shown
that people with disabilities can do whatever they set their
minds too. She’s a real inspiration,” said her teacher, Deirdre
O’Connor.”
Sara wiped away her tears. “Wow. I had no idea.....”
“Believe it, baby.” Tess hugged her.
Sara spoke up again in the quiet of the church. “So Andrew? When
do we get to see you dance?”
The huge church rang with the laughter of angels.
Back