Solitary Without Hope

A 'Touched By an Angel' Story

By: Yvette Jessen



© 2001 not intended to infringe on any previously held copyrights.


Please Note: This story is the eighth in a sequence of stories, which I have written, which are centered on my character, Christina, her family and friends. The first one is entitled ‘The Innocence of a Child’, the second ‘A Little Girl’s Wish’, the third ‘The Senior Prom’, the fourth 'Stealing Second', the fifth 'Another Halloween Night', the sixth 'An Overdue Appointment', and the seventh 'Homecoming'.


*****

Twenty-eight-year-old Christina Thomas had had a hard day. As she left the office building where she worked, she contemplated the entire situation she was in and wondered what on earth she could do about it. Never before had she felt so powerless, but yet somehow she also could feel an amazing sense of strength inside. From where it came, she could only conclude that God had given it to her.

It happened that she had been counseling a young boy named Ted for almost two months. He had been in and out of depression since he started therapy; the stress from school appeared to be getting the better of him. He was shy, often alone, and considered to be one of the smartest kids in school, but something was missing in his life, and his suicidal tendencies was what brought him and his worried parents to Christina. Now, the situation with him was quickly getting out of control.

Christina knew from the start that he was suicidal just from looking at him. He often talked about death in his sessions with her, dwelling on what happens after a person died. For this reason, she conveniently avoided mentioning her friend, Andrew. He was, after all, an Angel of Death and anything she could have said that would make death seem beautiful, would be the wrong thing to do in this situation.

Instead, every single time she talked with Ted, she tried with all her strength to tell him that suicide was a cop out; that it would be a mistake, and the pain he would leave with his parents and friends would be unbearable. Today's session left her more afraid than worried, because somehow she could almost sense that the boy had reached the breaking point. He had screamed at her, saying that she was a quack, hurling hurtful and spiteful words at her before he had stormed out of the session.

In the past five years since she started working as an intern for a Child Psychologist and obtained her practice, she had never seen a more hopeless case than that of Ted Gordon. In addition, she had never in her life felt so hopeless and unsuccessful at her work as she did at that moment. She had always been able to help the kids, from the time she had started this work, up until this point, but now she was feeling completely incompetent with this and started questioning whether this was actually part of the plan that God had for her life.

She knew the 13-year-old boy was depressed, but when he had lost his temper with her, all she could do watch as he left, close his file, and just go home. His parents, both of whom worked, seemed to be completely unable to help him, and this made her angry, but at the same time, she could truly understand their need to work. Both had been stigmatized by society as being people who did not wish to work because both their families had been poor, and had lived off the state's welfare system. Christina knew that Ted's parents were determined to overcome these stigmatisms, and she held a great deal of respect for them in that regard, but the question about their son's well being continued to loom in the air.

The hardest part of the entire story was that both Valerie and Chris Gordon trusted her completely with regards to their son. Now, she was not certain if this was such a good thing, as it left the burden of responsibility firmly on her shoulders.

As she was getting into her car, she sighed deeply not knowing what she could do besides pray that God would watch over all of them, and hope that that night she would actually be able to sleep. For the last weeks, she had been unable to sleep because of her worries regarding this case. It was no secret, she was scared for Ted, and for some reason; she could not shake the feeling that something terrible was about to happen.

During the past weeks, Ted's situation had progressively gotten worse, the conversations with him had gotten more strained, the boy becoming more aloof and resentful. She was worried, and even though she knew professionally, she should not get personally involved in it. In some ways, she knew that she already was.

She thought almost constantly about calling her boyfriend, Jeremy, and asking him what he thought she should do. She quickly dismissed this because as a psychologist, she believed wholeheartedly in the confidentiality of her patients. The burden would have to remain on her shoulders for the time being.

Besides that, during the last days, Jeremy had been sent out of town for some kind of police sketch artist convention. He had called her the night before telling her he missed her, and wanted to meet her when he came back. He had said there was a surprise when he came back, but even after talking extensively with his sister, Paula, she still had no clue about what he was cooking up. Knowing him, it could be anything.

Thinking about Jeremy at least made her smile. She had met him under some rather strange circumstances, but she was really truly in love with him. He was kindhearted, compassionate, but also had a mischievous streak that she truly loved. Whenever she thought about him, she was completely happy.

Her thoughts returned to Ted as a strange sensation overcame her once again. Sighing deeply, she turned on the radio and allowed the soft swells of music to encompass her. She absolutely refused to make the boy into some kind of sideshow freak, so she kept those disturbing thoughts she had about him to herself. She did pray for him often though.

As she pulled into her parking spot near her apartment some ten minutes later, she smiled weakly. It was nice to be home, it was Friday, and she had the entire weekend to unwind, and best of all, her friend Lindsey would be home from college.

Lindsey had left their small town the previous fall semester to attend music school in New York, and now that spring break was here, she had told Christina that she would be coming home for the nine-day vacation and that they should get together and have some fun. This holiday would start for Lindsey that very evening.

As Christina pulled the key from the ignition and reached inside her purse for her house-key, Lindsey's 13-year-old brother came over and rapped on the driver's side window causing her to look up. As soon as she managed to undo the seatbelt and get out of the car, she looked questionably at him.

"Tom, what are you doing here?" she asked him. She didn't see the teenager too often, but she really liked him. They had kind of drifted apart after Tom had stopped playing little league when he was ten. Today, he played baseball for his school's team, and they all said that he was the best pitcher the school had ever seen. Today, he was barely the image of the small boy she remembered, he had grown into a tall, lanky teenager.

"Hey, Christina. I was just here in town with some of my friends, and they left to go home and so I thought I'd come by here. Seeing as it's been so long since we last saw each other," Tom said but noticing her somewhat distracted face, his smile disappeared. "You don't mind, do you?"

"Not at all, come on in, I've got some frozen pizzas in the freezer, we can bake them and have a chat. How's everything going? I heard your team won last week's game," Christina said as she walked with him up the walk and she was able to unlock her apartment door.

"It's going great," he said and smiled as he followed her. "I hit a triple and drove in two runners. It was really cool. I wish you could have been there."

"I would have liked to have been there, but Jeremy had surprised me with a trip to the theater that night, and I couldn't disappoint him. I'll make it up to you, I promise," she said.

"You guys ever gonna tie the knot?" Tom asked.

"I don't know, between you and me, I keep hoping he'll ask. You like Jeremy, don't you?" Christina asked.

"Oh yeah, he's cool, I mean even if he is a cop," Tom said smiling sheepishly.

"He's not a cop, he's sketch artist," Christina said. "He draws pictures of people who are seen at crime scenes for the police, but he doesn't work directly as a cop."

"OK, well anyway, about the game," Tom redirected their conversation as they walked into Christina's kitchen and sat down at the table. "My mom made a video tape of it, maybe I can bring it the next time I come over," Tom said and Christina was grateful that he, like his sister, knew that she still could not come to their house because in a drunken rage, their father had assaulted her with a knife six years ago. "Anyway, Lindsey finally got around to telling me that you and she had seen Andrew some time ago," Tom said.

"Yeah, we did, but that was over a year ago, he was here to help me cope with some other stuff," she said smiling weakly as she thought of Andrew. He was one of the dearest friends she had in her life and thinking of him made her smile.

"Christina, you know something?" He asked, but before she could answer, he continued to speak. "Lately, I've been thinking about Tess, and how she helped me as a little kid. Do you think she would remember me like I do her?"

"I'm sure she would," Christina smiled reassuringly.

"I guess it's kind of stupid, I'm doing well and am not in need of her guidance, but she really did leave an impact on me," he said.

"I know, and I suppose the topic of angels isn't really cool for kids your age, is it?" Christina said smiling.

"I don't care what's cool," Tom said. "There are some things one just can't forget. When she held me in her lap, I felt so safe and secure. I mean; you're the only person besides Lindsey that I can talk about this stuff with."

Christina smiled. "Didn't I ever tell you that Jeremy knows Andrew, and that his sister's family also know who he is? Maybe I should introduce you to them. Their son, Simon is about your age, maybe a little bit older. I'll ask them about it next time I'm over if you want. That or you can come with me sometime to meet them. They're really great people."

"That would be great," Tom said.

Seconds later, the telephone rang, and she smiled at him. "Would you excuse me for a minute?"

"Sure," Tom said softly.

Christina left the room and went into the living room to answer the phone. As she picked up the receiver, a strange feeling overcame her, but as she tried to shake it away, it came back all the more stronger. "Hello?"

"Miss Thomas, I'm sorry to bother you, but it is Chris Gordon," the distraught voice came over the line.

"What is it? What's wrong?" she asked. She could feel the goose bumps going up her arms and she tried with all her might to shake those odd sensations away.

"I'm calling about Ted. Valerie found him passed out in his room tonight after he came home. He'd taken some of my sleeping pills…" his voice trailed and Christina could hear him crying at the other end. "We're both at the hospital and I was wondering if you could come by?"

"Of course," she whispered her face pale and she sat down on the chair near the telephone. "I'll come as soon as I can." She hung up the phone some two minutes later. As she looked up, she could see that Tom had come back out of the kitchen and was standing in the living room.

"Christina?"

She looked at him. "I'm sorry, Tom, but I have to go to the hospital."

"What happened?" The boy asked.

"One of my patients," she shook her head sadly. "That was the father of one of my patients. He…" her voice trailed off and she looked at him in complete sadness. "Could we meet later?"

"Yeah, I can do that. Let me go turn off the oven, I don't think you could eat even if you wanted to. Oh I wish we had a little help here," Tom muttered under his breath. As he turned to go it was obvious that he was worried about her.

"How will you get home?" she asked once he returned from the kitchen.

"I'll take the bus, no big deal."

"That won't be necessary, baby, I'll take you home," Tess' voice, and both of them turned to see that she and Monica were now standing in Christina's living room.

Tom looked at her, and if he had not been so worried about Christina, his face would be radiating joy. "You did remember me?"

"Of course baby, why would I forget my favorite pitcher?" she turned to Monica. "You take Christina to the hospital, Miss Wings, and I'll take Tom home. I'll meet you there later."

Christina stood up and grabbed her jacket. As she was putting it on, she wanted to ask about Andrew, but something told her that he was on duty, and his latest assignment was Ted Gordon. With her shoulders slumped, she stuffed her keys in her pocket and allowed Monica to lead her to the door. I can't believe this, she thought to herself. This has all got to be a bad dream.


*****

As Tess and Tom stepped outside, he looked at her. "I'm so happy to see you."

"Well, it's good to see you too, you've grown," she said as they walked over to her car.

"Yeah," he said looking down. "I guess so, but you're still the same as I remember you. You know, it's funny. Christina and I were just talking about you, good stuff of course," he said and smiled sheepishly. "Anyway, that was right before the phone rang. Do you know what happened?"

"Yes, one of Christina's patients tried to kill himself tonight," Tess said softly.

"Oh man, why would someone do that?" Tom asked weakly. "I mean, life can get hard, but…"

Tess patted his shoulder reassuringly. "I know, and Andrew has been sent to him."

"It amazes me that he's able to do that without losing it," Tom said shaking his head. "Did you know that Lindsey has a little angel figure that he gave her? She carries that thing everywhere with her. She says it gives her strength."

"Honey, God gives her strength, but I would guess that it's a reminder to her of that fact," Tess said.

"You know, I looked for you after you left," Tom said honestly.

"You did?"

"Yeah, I guess it's kind of weird, but it's true. Lindsey was the only one who didn't think I was completely nuts. You know she's in college now? She always loved to sing," Tom said.

"Yes, I remember that song she did at Bryan and Rachel's wedding," Tess said. "I had a lot of fun working with her on it too."

They approached Tess' red convertible.

"Hey, isn't this the same car you had before?" he asked.

"Yes, it's my baby," she said and patted the hood affectionately.

Tom laughed and smiled as he regarded the car, and Tess' affection to it. "You know, after you left I saved my allowance and bought a model kit for a car just like this. I put it together and now it sits on a shelf in my room, right next to my baseball trophies."

"You never did forget, did you?" Tess asked smiling.

"How could I, you and your friends helped us when no one else could?" he said softly.

"What about Christina, she did an awful lot for you two, as well?" Tess said.

"I know, and she is still like a second older sister to me," Tom said. "You know my dad is no longer drinking, in fact the therapy seemed to have helped him. He moved back home and my parents are undergoing marriage counseling."

"I'm glad to hear it," Tess said as they got in the car and she drove him back in the direction of his house.

As Tess pulled up to the house, he turned and looked at her. "Can you come inside?"

"I'm afraid not, baby, I have to get to the hospital," she said. "But, maybe another time. We're going to be in town for a few days, so maybe when I get some time, I'll come by and see your model, because I would really like to see it."

"I'd like that, Tess," he said smiling.

"You take care, and I'll see you very soon," she said. "You tell Lindsey hello for us when you see her."

"She's coming in tonight," he said. "Maybe you'll get to see her, too."

"We'll see what happens, take care, Tom," she said and he got out.

As the young boy walked up the walk to the front door, Tess drove away. When he turned around and could see her car disappearing around a corner, he glanced skyward. "Thank you!"


*****

Monica had insisted on driving Christina to the hospital and when they got there, Christina slowly got out of the car and the angel returned the car key to her. "Monica, do you think he's going to be OK?"

"I don't know, but Ted isn't alone, he's never alone," the angel said gently.

"I know," Christina said, her voice somehow caught up with her overwhelming emotion.

"Christina, everything will happen as it should," Monica said and offered her hand to the young, distraught woman.

Without saying anything else, Christina allowed Monica to help her inside. When she came into the waiting room, she could see Valerie and Chris Gordon in the room waiting for some kind of news. Valerie was pacing through the room, her face depicting the agony she felt. Chris was sitting in one of the chairs in the room, his head down and his hands folded.

"Mr. and Mrs. Gordon?" Christina finally found her voice, and she looked at the anxious couple that was in the room.

Valerie looked up, and when she recognized whom it was that was standing in the room, she regarded Christina with the utmost contempt. "What are you doing here? I don't want you here."

"Your husband called me, Mrs. Gordon," Christina said sadly, her voice soft. "He asked me to come."

"I don't want you here, it's your fault that our boy is lying up there, that he tried to do this to himself. What kind of psychologist are you, couldn't you see that he was hurting and needed help?" Valerie cried, her voice breaking the stillness of the room.

"I did know that he needed help, Mrs. Gordon, but it takes effort on both parts to get that help. Please believe me, I tried so hard," she whispered, and within moments, she could feel Monica's hand on her shoulder. "I'm sorry," she finally said, her eyes filling with tears. "Mrs. Gordon, I tried to help as much as I could."

"We trusted you, we trusted you to help him, and look at what has happened," she said and Chris finally stood up and went to his wife. Without saying anything, he wrapped his arms around her and held her. "I want you out of here!" she said, her voice filled with hate.

Christina looked down, the tears falling from her eyes, but after her eyes locked with the dark brown eyes of Chris Gordon, she slowly backed away from them without saying a word.

Monica looked at Chris and Valerie, "your son is never alone," she said gently.

"What do you know?" Valerie spat out. "Are you another of those quack psychologists like her?"

"No, and Christina is not a quack, she really does care for your son," Monica said. "Mr. Gordon, I think you know that she does, otherwise you would not have called her and asked her to come."


*****

Andrew had been watching Ted Gordon since he had stormed out of Christina's office. Internally the Angel of Death wished that he could have comforted his friend, because she appeared to have been deeply hurt by the boy's actions, however, he also knew that it was his assignment to follow the young boy.

Now, he stood in the small room looking at Ted after he had passed out from overdosing on sleeping pills. Ted, why did you do this, he asked himself as his eyes filled with tears. He had prayed that Ted would reconsider this act before taking the pills that belonged to his father. It was sad that the boy obviously did not think twice about taking a handful of them and swallowing them with a glass of water.

As the boy began to slip out of consciousness, Andrew appeared at his bedside and looked down at him with compassion, but also sadness in his eyes. "Ted, my name is Andrew, I'm an angel sent from God. Don't be afraid."

"What's happening to me?" Ted asked, but before they could continue, Ted's mother had come home and found him unconscious on the floor. She had called the ambulance and within minutes, the boy had been transferred to the hospital. Andrew remained with him the entire time and held his hand as he tried to explain to the boy what was happening.

"You decided to take your life, Ted," Andrew whispered. Now they were both in the hospital and the doctors were trying to save the life of the young boy. "As a result of your actions, I'm the angel sent here to take you home."

"You mean, it worked?" the boy asked.

Andrew's face was now filled with agony as he looked down at the passive face of the boy, "yes, Ted, it worked."

"Why are you sad about me?" the boy asked noticing Andrew's gloomy expression.

"I am very sad whenever someone willingly chooses to end his or her life," he said softly. "Suicide is a way of denying the gift of life that God has blessed one with. I know you didn't realize that God loves you, and that is for me, very sad. Regardless of what has happened, God loves you, Ted, and now you will be reunited with Him."

"But, why didn't you stop me?" Ted asked, and as he listened to the words of the angel, he became afraid.

"I could not interfere, you have free will, and it was your decision. I prayed that you wouldn't do it, but you did. Now, there are people you will leave behind who must now cope with their loss. These same people did want to help you, specifically, your parents, and Christina Thomas," Andrew said gently.

"Christina? She's that psychologist, right?" he asked.

"Yes, and she cared very deeply for you. Now she blames herself for your actions and may quit her important work, as a result," Andrew said sadly.

"She really would quit, just like that?" Ted asked weakly.

"Yes, this has hit her very hard, Ted, and for this reason, she tried to spend extra time with you, and tried to get you to tell her about yourself. She wasn't just a psychologist, but she was interested in you, the person," Andrew said, and when he looked up, he knew it was time for him to take Ted home. "Are you ready? It's time to go."

"But, I didn't know this," he said feeling the tears in his eyes. "Andrew, can I have another chance? Please!"

The angel shook his head sadly. "I'm sorry, I cannot give you that, Ted, you made a choice and now you must accept it. It's time to go."

As he led a reluctant Ted Gordon to the light, Andrew could not help but think about Christina. All those times that she had been strong for other people, and once again she was being hurt by their actions. His heart was breaking when he thought about what Ted had done, but that did not compare to the horrible impact that he left with the people back on Earth.


*****

Christina walked into the chapel, this familiar place she hadn't seen since she was a little girl. A flood of memories encompassed her as she sat down in the front of the room. How she sometimes wished that she could just go back to those times of innocence. She rested her face in her hands as she remembered Valerie Gordon's horrible accusations only moments before.

Once she had walked slowly away, she told Monica that she needed some time to herself and decided to come into the chapel.

"I'm at fault," she whispered. "I should have done more to help him. Dear God, please forgive me. I really tried."

"You did far more for him than anyone could have expected of you, my friend," Andrew's voice entered her thoughts and after a few moments, she raised her head, opened her eyes, and turned to see that he was now seated next to her. He looked exactly as she had remembered him at the park after her assault; he wore a beige colored suit and tie. The only thing missing was that at that moment, he was not glowing.

Christina could see the compassion in his eyes, but right now, her body began to tremble as the tears continued to stream down her cheeks. She shook her head. "I¾"

"Shhh, it's OK, you're not alone, Christina," Andrew took her gently in his arms and held her tightly. "Go ahead and let it out."

"I wish Jeremy was here," she began to cry. "I thought everything would be OK until he came back."

"I know," Andrew said gently. "Monica or Tess will let him know what happened. I know you need him with you right now."

"Thank you," she whispered as she could feel his hand brushing through her short brown hair. His comfort helped her find her voice. "It's all my fault, Andrew."

"No, it's not. You must never believe that you're at fault for what Ted did," he took her face gently in his hands and made her look into his eyes. "You did all that you could for him. Ted made the choice, and as horrible as it makes both of us feel, he must now live with that choice."

"Valerie Gordon blames me," Christina said weakly.

"I know, and it's only because it's easier for her to blame someone else than it is to take the blame herself," he said gently. "It is not a very noble stand, but it is a very human one, Christina."

"It's over, Ted's gone, isn't he?" Christina asked. "Y-you took him home."

Andrew nodded sadly, "I had to. He wanted a second chance, but I couldn't give it to him."

"Andrew, I feel so useless," she whispered.

"I know, but you're not," he said gently. "I'll stay with you until Jeremy comes back, I promise."

She nodded, and in his arms, she began to weep as though her heart was breaking.

Moments later, Valerie Gordon came inside the chapel. When she saw Christina seated inside her arms around a man wearing beige, she simply sat down in the back of the room and folded her hands.

"Ted's mother is here, Christina," Andrew whispered in her ear and once she stopped crying, she wiped her hand over her eyes.

"I don't know what to say to her, I'm not ready," Christina whispered and stood up.

Andrew nodded and watched as she slowly left the chapel. He knew at this moment, that Christina was feeling the complete extent of Ted's death.

He sighed sadly because he knew that he had the chance to feel the Father's unconditional love whenever he was saddened about having to take someone home that had willingly chosen to end his or her own life. He could never comprehend suicide, and now, as he looked at his friend, he could see that she was feeling those very same feelings he had often come across whenever he had to deal with suicide. Not only did Christina not have the physical reassurances of God that he did, it was obvious that she felt the blame emanating from Valerie Gordon. It was obvious that from looking at her, that Valerie blamed Christina for everything that had happened, and as long as she did, then Christina would do so as well.

"How could you take my boy away?" Valerie spoke, her prayer filled with anger and accusations. Andrew sat and listened as the woman spoke. He wanted to tell her that her son had chosen to end his life and that that saddened God, but the voice of the Father told him it would be best to allow the woman to deal with her anger, as it is a part of grief.

Instead of speaking to her, he quietly stood up and walked out into the waiting room.


*****

Christina was now seated in the waiting room; her face was streaked with tears. She glanced around the room, and when she saw Andrew coming out of the chapel, she smiled weakly as he came over and sat down next to her. After some moments of silence, she finally spoke. "I remember when I was here after Bryan's accident," she mused. "I had been so scared, and you came and comforted me, just like awhile ago when we were in there." She waved her hand toward the chapel. "I know that God doesn't give me anything He knows I can't handle, but this is a bit much." She shook her head. "I shouldn't have gotten so emotionally involved in this case, but if you had known this boy…"

Andrew nodded. "I did know him, Christina, and believe me, he is sorry for what he's done. He didn't realize that he had hurt so many people with his actions."

She nodded but her eyes were still filled with sadness. "Andrew, can you take me home? I won't be able to drive, and I can't stay here any longer, it hurts too much."

He closed his eyes for a moment, and after some time, he nodded. "OK, come on."

"What about Monica? I came here with her, but I don't want to leave her hanging," Christina said weakly.

"She's with Tess, don't worry about her," he said gently and stood up, once he was on his feet, he offered her his hand, and helped her stand up.

As they walked towards the exit to the waiting room, Chris came over to them. "Miss Thomas?"

"Please call me Christina," she said.

Chris nodded. "OK, I wanted to apologize for Valerie. I hope you will understand that it's not easy for her right now. Ted was our only child."

"I understand," she said softly.

"I'll call you and let you know when the funeral will be," he said weakly.

"Thank you," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. She reached for his hand and squeezed it. As she did, her voice emerged, the emotions almost getting the better of her. "I-I'm sorry, Mr. Gordon, I truly am. I did all I could for Ted."

"I know you did, and I don't blame you, Christina," he said softly as he glanced over towards Andrew and simply nodded in his direction.

Andrew smiled reassuringly at Chris as he gently led Christina outside and towards her car. They drove back in silence, the sadness enveloping her as she sat in the passenger side of the car.

"Christina," Andrew finally broke his silence once they had arrived at the apartment building where she lived. "God knows you tried to help Ted."

She nodded numbly. "I believe that, Andrew, really I do. But, how would you feel if you had tried so hard to help and then everything crumbled before your eyes?"

"It would hurt, just as it is doing to you. Please, don't ever believe that this kind of thing doesn't affect me, because it does," Andrew said as he cut the motor and turned to face her. He had tears in his eyes as he looked at his friend; who was now staring down at her lap. "Christina, look at me."

After some moments of hesitation, she glanced back over at him; the tears by this time were rolling down her cheeks. He reached over and brushed them away. "I know that this is hard for you."

She nodded numbly and as she tried to speak, she found that she couldn't because the words would not come.

"Let's go inside, OK?" he said gently and they got out of the car. As she followed him towards the door, she pulled the key out of her pocket and they went inside.

Once they were in the living room, Christina sat down on the sofa and picked up the television schedule and looked down at it. "Friday night," she mumbled after some minutes and tossed the magazine back on the table. "I used to sit here on Friday nights and watch movies on television. Sometimes Jeremy would come over and we'd sit here and devour an entire bowl of popcorn together."

Andrew smiled when he looked at her, she had stars in her eyes whenever she even mentioned Jeremy, and he knew this look. "You're in love," he said as he came over and sat down next to her.

"I am, but I keep thinking about Ted Gordon and how he will never know the feeling of meeting someone special and falling in love with them. I mean, if I had died when I had pneumonia, or when Kevin Miller assaulted me, I would never have known what it meant to fall in love," she sighed deeply. "Here I thought my love life was hopeless, and now I have Jeremy and I feel so complete with him in my life."

Andrew smiled weakly. "I sense a 'but' coming."

She nodded. "I can't stop thinking about Ted. Valerie and Chris Gordon trusted me with their son, Andrew, and I know I let them down. I was supposed to keep Ted from killing himself, but then today he stormed out of the office and I couldn't do anything." She shook her head. "I didn't go after him. I should have gone after him. They entrusted in me to try and make sure that their son didn't do this. I talked to him, and I thought I was getting through to him." She looked at him, her eyes a sea of hopelessness.

"You couldn't have known, Christina," he said gently.

She sniffed, and rubbed her hands over her face. "I prayed so much for him, that he would get better, that he would find the courage to overcome all these things. I thought if I could overcome what had happened to me that he could too."

"There exists a major difference between you and Ted Gordon. He was weakened, the pressures he was under was what made him react; and as a result, he believed that God didn't exist," Andrew said gently. "You have the strength that God gave you, because you ask Him for it. You question the reason Ted didn't possess this strength and the answer is quite simple. Christina, he didn't ask God for it, and only Ted could have done that."

Christina looked down at her lap. "Couldn't I have done something to help him find it?"

"No, you couldn't, because you may be able to help a lot of people in your work, but you cannot lead someone to God, that is something that they themselves must do," he said and smiled gently at her. "If you had mentioned God to him, he would have had to chose between whether he believed you or not. The way he felt, he probably wouldn't have believed your words at all and if you had tried to speak to him about it, he might have lashed out at you only creating more confusion and disillusionment in his own life."

"It hurts," she said softly shaking her head.

"I know, you're overcome with sadness and grief right now. I too have experienced these same sorts of feelings in situations like this," he said gently.

"You have?"

He nodded. "I often feel this way when I must take someone home who has willingly chosen to end their life. I've even walked away from my job for some time because of it. The emotions that come with it are very, very strong and the guilt can encompass you, but only if you allow it. You must never allow it to do that to you."

"You have actually quit?" she asked weakly.

"Mm-hum, but somehow God gives me the strength to come back, and to continue," he said gently and smiled at her. "Christina, you don't know how many times I have seen people end their lives, and for some rather petty reasons. After all is said and done, I am left with the sad task of taking them home and reassuring them that God loves them, and that he forgives them for what they have done. Most people regret having done it, but when it's a child, like Ted, it is all the more difficult, because all that hope that is in the heart of that individual is, in some ways, destroyed."

Christina looked at him. "How do you cope?"

"In so many ways, I'm lucky, because God fills me with the light of his love, and every time I feel this difficulty in having to take someone home before his or her time, I feel that love when that person reaches God," he said gently. "This helps me to continue and often times, gives me the feeling of joy."

"Sometimes I wish I could feel something like that," she whispered more to herself than to him. She leaned back against the pillows and closed her eyes.

"You can always ask God for it," he smiled at her.

"I know," she said softly, "but right now, I don't know what I would say."

He looked at her and rather than press the issue, he decided to change the subject. It was apparent to him that she really was looking weak from all the strains she was under. After a moment, he smiled at her understandably. "You look tired, is there anything I can do for you?"

"I am a little tired, but I know I won't be able to sleep," she said. "I'll just lay in bed tossing and turning. That's been happening for weeks now ever since I took Ted's case. I feel so tired, but I can never sleep."

"This has really been hard for you, hasn't it? Haven't you been able to talk to Jeremy or anyone else about this?" Andrew asked.

"I can't," she shook her head.

"Why is that?" he asked. "I would think that Jeremy could help you cope with everything."

"It's called confidentiality, Andrew, I can't talk to anyone about it, because then I feel like I'm betraying the trust that has been bestowed on me," she said softly.

"You're telling me?"

"Oh come on, you're an angel," she said, her voice emerging almost edged with impatience. "Besides, I figure now it's fine since he's…"

Andrew knew what word was going to come next and he inched over to her and pressed his fingers against her lips. "Shhh, it's OK." After a few moments, he removed his fingers from in front of her mouth.

"Andrew, I failed," she whispered after a few moments of silence passed between them.

"No, you didn't, Christina, God is so proud of you, and He knows that you did everything you could. No one could have asked more of you," he said.

She shook her head. "I wish I could believe that."

"Don't you believe me?"

She could feel the tears in her eyes. "I didn't mean to say something that might hurt you, it's just that right now I don't know what I believe. I only know that there is a boy, and he's dead, and I was his psychologist, and I should have known he'd try this," her voice cracked.

"Christina, you didn't know, and even if you did, you didn't fail anyone," Andrew sighed deeply. "Ted was the one that did this, he was the one that took those pills, not you. You never forced him to do anything, he used his own free will." He took her face in his hands and made her look at him. "It was his own free will, Christina, and you are not responsible for what he did. Don't ever believe that you are." Those words spoken, he lowered his hands, his compassionate eyes looking intently at her.

The tears continued to stream down her cheeks and she felt her body collapse against the sofa and right next to where he was sitting. He opened his arms and took her into his embrace. With her wrapped in his arms, he began to glow, the light of God's love washing over her.

She opened her eyes after a few moments and could see him, he was glowing and the light was covering her and filling her with peace. She remained in his arms, her arms holding tightly to him and she could not only feel the love of God in the core of her being, but also the love of the angel who was holding her. As she felt his arms holding her, she allowed herself to cry.

When the light faded, she loosened her embrace with him, looked up, and could see him smiling down at her. "Thank you," she said softly.

"You feel better?" he asked her.

"Yeah, a little," she whispered unsure of what she should say. "You're really going to stay a little while?"

"Yes, I will," he said and smiled gently at her.

"I love you, you've been such a wonderful friend to me," she said softly.

"I love you too, my little angel," he said.

"You know, Jeremy teases me about that now. You really got me into trouble with him on that," she said smiling weakly.

"Jeremy is a very nice person, and you both deserve to be happy," Andrew said.

"I really thought my life was hopeless," she said. "You know for some time, I had those feelings about you?"

He nodded blushing slightly. "You never said anything about it, but I did sense it."

"It's kind of embarrassing," she said shaking her head. "Like something straight out of a little girl's fantasies."

"That's why I didn't say anything, I knew that it would have been awkward for you," he said smiling.

"Now, you're just a good friend, like a brother to me," she said smiling. "Lindsey said once that those kind of friendships are the greatest gift God could offer."

"She's right," he said.

"I know. She's pretty smart. You know she comes back tonight, I hope you'll get to see her, I know she'd be hurt if you took off and didn't get to talk to her," Christina said.

"I'll see her," he said.

"Can I tell you a secret?"

"You know you can," Andrew said.

"I keep hoping that Jeremy will ask me to marry him, and if he does, Lindsey will be my maid of honor," she said. "But, you can't tell her, and besides that he hasn't even asked me yet."

"I'm sure he will eventually," he said smiling. "I won't tell her anything about it." He glanced around the room and after a few moments, back at her. "Do you feel better?"

"I do, but I don't know what to do about Valerie Gordon," she said.

"You can't change her, Christina, all you can do is try to heal yourself," he said.

"I know, but I am glad that you're here," she said. "I'm sorry I'm not much of a host these days. I don't have any idea what we can do to pass the time. I mean, I can't just sit here, then I will feel somehow depressed because all I will do is think about is what has happened."

"I know, so what would you like to do?"

"Maybe we could watch a movie. I started taping old movies that would come on late at night, because it's easier to sit in here and watch them than it is to try and go to sleep. Funny, my mother used to tell me to count sheep, but even that doesn’t help."

"Then let me see what kind of a movie I can find for us to watch," he said reaching for the television program.

"There's nothing on tonight, I've already looked," she said.

"Then let me see what you have in your cabinet," he stood up and went over and opened it. When he found a movie, he pulled it out and stuck it in the VCR. When he turned on the television, he returned to the sofa and sat down next to her.

"What did you pick?" she asked.

"Oh you'll see," he said as the movie 'We're No Angels' started.

She looked at him, "but that's a Christmas movie?"

"So?" he smiled. "I heard it's a rather funny movie, and what is that saying about laughter being the best medicine?"

She smiled weakly but nodded and settled back to watch the classic film with him. As the music started, she couldn't let go of the fact that here she was sitting in her living room watching a movie with 'angels' in the title and then looking over and seeing Andrew seated next to her.


*****

Two hours later, Andrew was still watching the movie, but when he looked over, he could see that as it had been playing, Christina had fallen asleep on the sofa. Not wishing to disturb her, and knowing that she needed her rest, he remained seated until the closing credits rolled across the screen. Standing up, he went over and turned off the television and rewound the tape. As he turned around, he could see that she had stretched out.

He went down the hall to her bedroom and pulled a thick comforter off the bed and returned to the living room. This he put over her and turned the light out. Turning around he could see Tess and Monica were now standing in the room.

"How is she, Angel Boy?" she asked keeping her voice low.

"Let's go into the kitchen and talk, she needs her sleep," he said.

Once the three of them were in the kitchen, Monica began looking for a package of coffee.

"Give it up, Monica," Andrew said trying to conceal a smile. "Christina's allergic to coffee, she only drinks hot cocoa."

Monica sighed deeply and sat down at the table.

Tess looked at him. "Valerie blames her for the death of her son."

"I know," he said.

"When we came in earlier today, Valerie confronted Christina, and told her that she was at fault for what had happened," Monica said sadly. "Christina looked devastated."

"I know," Andrew said. "She feels responsible for what happened, and though we talked for a long time about it, she's really hurting."

Tess nodded. "Well, we wanted to let you know that our assignment is Chris and Valerie. I suppose you're going to be staying here with Christina to help her get over all this."

"As long as I'm not needed elsewhere, yes," he said. As the two of them disappeared, he glanced over at the clock next to the stove and could see that it was almost midnight. He went back into the living room, and could see that Christina was still asleep on the sofa. He sat down in a matching chair, his thoughts a jumble as he watched over his friend.


*****

Chris Gordon woke up the following morning, he could see that Valerie was not in bed, and he wondered where she was, as she usually slept in on Saturday mornings. With a pounding headache, he crawled out of bed and left the room. As he came down the hall, he could hear his wife in their son's room. Walking inside the room, he could see that she was holding one of her son's video game cartridges in her hand.

"Honey?" he asked as she turned around.

Valerie turned around, her face filled with anger as she looked at her husband. "I did it," she said matter-of-factly.

"What did you do?" Chris asked and looked at his wife. She had this look on her face that indicated trouble. He did not like this look one bit, and he knew as well as anyone that Valerie was impulsive and that often times she did things without thinking about the effects they would leave on others. He realized that his wife and son tended to share this characteristic, and it was something that he really would have liked to have seen changed in both of them.

"I called the newspaper this morning about that shrink," Valerie said bitterly. "I told them that she should have her license removed and should be fired."

"What?" Chris practically shouted. "Christina Thomas isn't responsible for what Ted did. Valerie, how could you blame her for this, the only thing she's guilty of is trying to help?"

"What's happening, Chris? Is that little wench suddenly becoming your best friend?" Valerie spat out. "She killed our son."

"She didn't kill anyone. Would you just listen to yourself? Our son did this, not Christina Thomas. She didn't hold him down and force those sleeping pills down his throat; he did that to himself. If you want to lay blame on anyone, then perhaps you should lay it on me, because they were my damn pills." He turned and walked out of the room. In the doorway, he stopped and turned back around. "If you want to try and ruin Christina's life, you go right ahead, but you'll do it without me. I only ask that you try to think about what you're doing, two lives ruined is already enough."

Valerie looked at him. "Chris, what are you saying?"

"I'm saying that if don't cool it with your revenge schemes then I will probably walk out of our marriage. I can't stand what this has done to you, Valerie. I mean; what happened to the woman I fell in love with?" he asked.

"I'm the same person I've always been," she replied defensively.

He shook his head. "No, you aren't. After we got married, I left the church because you didn't believe in God, but now I'm questioning if this whole thing was some sort of 'wake-up call' for me." He went back over to his wife, reached out and rested his hand on her shoulder. "I loved Ted as much as you did, but he's gone, and wrecking someone's life is not going to bring him back."

"The reporter will be over in half an hour," she said evenly shaking his hand off her shoulder. "I don't care if you stay or go, I'm going to make sure this whole town knows that that woman has no right to work in the field as a psychologist. Perhaps you should get your ideas in check, Chris, and realize what has happened here."

Chris sighed deeply and closed his eyes, his sympathies immediately going out to Christina. This can't be happening, he thought to himself as he walked out of Ted's room. He remembered the previous night when Christina had spoken to him, how she had apologized to him. Even after Valerie had verbally attacked her, he could still see so much sincerity in the young woman's words; so much shattered hope. He shook his head sadly, the disappointment in his wife showing in his face.

As he came into the bedroom, he quickly changed his clothes and ran a brush through his short black hair. If a reporter is coming here, he thought grimly, I will not be a part of this witch-hunt. With a sad sigh, he grabbed his suitcase and began to pack some clothing. He left the room quietly and went down the stairs. In the living room, he grabbed a small-framed picture of his son and walked outside to see the sun shining brightly in the sky.

I have to do something, he thought to himself as he threw the suitcase in the trunk of his car and got in the front seat. Rather than contemplate where he would go, he drove to the church he had attended before meeting Valerie and pulled into the parking lot. Looking down at his watch, he could see that it was still early, only half past 8. He looked around the area and could see only one other car parked there.

It had been a long time since he had actually been inside a church, and he wondered what reason he could possibly have now for wanting to go inside one. Seconds later, with more resolve than he had had in years, he parked the car and got out. As he walked towards the doors leading inside, he could see the leaves rustling in the cool spring breeze. He reached the door and walked inside the sanctuary, and he realized that he would not have the desired time to think in solitude. Someone else was standing near the altar, it was a young woman and she appeared to be either deeply involved in her thoughts, or in prayer.

He watched her for a few moments, and when she turned around, her facial expression switched from that of contemplation to a friendly smile. She walked over to him as he was sitting down and she sat down in the pew directly in front of him. "Good morning," she offered, her voice soft.

"Hi," he said his voice sad.

"It's a beautiful day, isn't it?" she said softly.

"I didn't really notice," Chris answered.

"My name's Lindsey Miller," she said.

"You're Lindsey Miller?" he asked unable to believe it. "The last time I saw you, you were in diapers. How are your folks?"

"They're OK," she said smiling. "But I'm sorry, I don't believe we've met? If I was in diapers chances are I wouldn't remember you."

"I'm Chris Gordon," he said.

"Do you mind if I call you Chris? I'm not much for formalities, but if you'd rather I call you Mr. Gordon, then I can do that too," she said her smile warm and friendly.

"Call me Chris," he said smiling weakly.

"Excuse me for intruding, but you look kind of sad," she said softly. "Is everything OK or would you like to talk about it? I'm a pretty decent listener."

"I am sad," he said softly but something compelled him to speak honestly with her. He took a deep breath and began to speak, his voice strained. "My son, Ted, killed himself last night and my wife is on a rampage against the psychologist who was treating him." He shook his head sadly. "I don't know why I came here, I guess I just thought I could maybe get some answers."

"I take it you haven't been inside a church in a long time," she said. "I know that feeling, when my dad was drinking, we were rarely in a church," she paused as she looked around the sanctuary. "Right before my father got help for his alcoholism, I sang in this church, the song was called 'The Prayer' and it's one of the most beautiful songs I have ever heard. I sang it for my friend's brother when he got married."

"I heard about your father from one of my co-workers. He said that Kevin had a serious bout with the bottle for some time," Chris said. "I wonder what made him suddenly stop drinking."

"I'd tell you but you probably wouldn't believe me," she said smiling as she pulled the sleeve of her blouse up exposing the scar on her arm.

"What happened?" Chris asked.

"Let's just say, there are things in life that changes people. Alcohol is one of those things, and sometimes it succeeds in making them something that they're not. Anyway, one of my friends tried to help us during this time, and nearly ended up getting herself killed because of it. You know, there are a lot of people in this world who would go the extra mile when they truly care for someone. I call those people, angels, though I would guess that there's no comparison to the real thing."

"Perhaps," he mused sadly. "My wife thinks that our son was alone, but, I want to believe that he wasn't."

"I don't think he was, Chris," Lindsey said gently as she pulled the small angel figure from her purse and showed it to him. "I think God was with him, and maybe an angel or two. Do you believe in angels?"

"I don't know what I believe in anymore," he said softly and after a few moments, he noticed that she had stood up walked around the end of the pew and had sat down next to him.

"You believe that God loves you, though don't you?" she asked gently.

"I don't know, why do you ask?"

"Because somehow He led you here, to this church," Lindsey said.

"How can you have so much faith when you have lived through some rather nightmarish experiences?" Chris asked.

"I guess I learned it from my friend, Christina," she said softly. "She taught me what a friendship really is, and helped me gun up the courage to talk about what had hurt me, or what experiences I had lived through. She's also my best friend."

"Christina Thomas?"

"Yes, she's a very special person to me," Lindsey said nodding.

Chris looked at her, his face etched with surprise. "Lindsey, can I ask you a question?"

"Sure," she smiled warmly.

"What did you do when you felt like your life was at the very bottom of the barrel?"

"I prayed, and asked God to help me and my little brother. With God all things have a reason, and though I don't always understand, I know that He has the answers," she said. "My friend, Andrew gave me this figure a little over a year ago. I discovered later, that he did this so that I would never forget that God loves me, and that my friendship with him is a gift. Ever since then, I have carried this figure with me and I treasure it above everything else I possess."

"Did you ever think about suicide?" Chris asked.

"I guess so, I think everyone thinks about it at one time or another in their lives, but that doesn't mean that they try or it they believe it's the best solution to one's problems. After awhile someone realizes that the strength is there, and all they have to do is ask God for it when things are hard," Lindsey said softly and rested her hand on his, squeezing it gently. "Chris, I'm sorry about your son, I'll pray for you and your family. Sadly, I can do nothing more."

He squeezed her hand. "Thank you, Lindsey, no one could ask for more."

She smiled as he stood up. As she watched him make his way down the aisle, she sighed deeply and glanced down. Once he disappeared outside, she bowed her head and closed her eyes.

"God, it's me, Lindsey, and I just want to thank you for helping say the right words to him. Please watch over Chris and his family, and take care of their son. Thank you, and I'll talk to you again soon, I promise." As she ended her prayer, she turned and could see Monica had come inside the church. Although she remembered Monica, she had never really spoken to her except during that one therapy session. Now she wondered if the angel was there to see Chris or just to pray. She couldn't possibly have anything to say to me, she thought, my life is going relatively well these days.

"Hi Lindsey," Monica said taking the young woman aback when she sat down next to her.

"Hello," Lindsey said and returned the small figure to her purse.

"I heard what you said to him," she said. "It was very nice of you."

She shrugged her shoulders. "Poor guy, it must be so hard right now. I feel bad for him."

Monica smiled, "you know he's not alone."

"I know, but still, suicide, the mere thought of it makes my skin crawl. I mean, I always thought that God wanted me to live and be happy, but to have a child do this to himself." She shook her head unable to find the words. "You know, it would be like if Tom tried to do this. I couldn't even comprehend how I would feel to one-day wake up and my brother is not here. I just thank God that Tom believes that He would never leave him to face his struggles alone."

Monica wrapped her arms around Lindsey's shoulders but smiled when she heard the conviction in the young woman's words. After a few minutes, she spoke. "Lindsey, Christina needs our help."

"Chris' wife wants to hurt her, doesn't she?" Lindsey asked. "I kinda got that impression when I was talking to him. He looked at me rather surprised when I mentioned Christina's name. I wish I could just tell his wife just how special Christina is."

"I know, and it will take some time to get through to Valerie Gordon, she's still grieving and though she would not try to hurt someone physically, we fear that she will try to verbally destroy the person Christina has become," Monica said.

Lindsey looked at her. "Monica, what can I do? Should I go see Christina?"

"You should yes, but right now, I have a message for you," Monica smiled gently at her.

"What is it?" Lindsey asked.

"God wants you to know that He's extremely proud of the way you spoke with Chris. Your words to him will help strengthen him and perhaps bring all these things to a happy closure," Monica said.

Lindsey smiled weakly. "No great credit to me, I know He gave me the strength to do it," she paused before continuing. "Monica, how's Christina?"

"Not so well, she blames herself for what happened. Andrew's with her now, and he said that they talked for a long time last night. I wouldn't worry because you know, he'll make sure she's OK until Jeremy returns," Monica said.

Lindsey nodded. "I know he will. It's a relief that you and Andrew are here to help us crazy nutcases again." She smiled impishly.

"Crazy nutcases?" Monica shook her head. "No, I don't think you are."

Lindsey laughed out loud and had to cover her face with her hand. "You take everything literally, don't you?"

Monica smiled as she shrugged her shoulders.

"I'm not putting us down, I'm just being silly," Lindsey said as she hugged Monica. "I'm glad to see you again, and one can't help but feel stronger in all of this just from knowing that God has sent his angels to help us again."

She pulled the small figure from her purse and held it in her cupped hands.

"Andrew gave you that?" Monica asked.

"Yeah, I just love it," she said softly as she ran her hand over the smooth texture of the figure. After a few moments passed, she looked up. "Is Tess here too?"

"Yes, and Tom got to see her last night," Monica said as they both stood up.

Lindsey smiled as she followed the angel out of the church. "You need a lift?"

"No, but thanks for asking. Where are you going?" Monica asked.

"I'm going by the house to pick up some stuff, then I'll head over to Christina's place," Lindsey said. "I found this chocolate store in New York, and they sell all these special blends of cocoa mixes. It's like those cappuccino flavors, but you know Christina's allergic to coffee, so I got a bunch of these cocoa blends for her."

"I can't imagine someone not being able to drink coffee," Monica smiled weakly.

"I know, I got into drinking it after I started classes. When I go to music theory and stuff, I end up having to stay up all night studying and coffee is the only thing I can drink that will help me with it. At first I couldn't stand the taste, but now I'm kinda used to it," Lindsey said and looked down at her watch. "Are you game for a cup? I mean, I'll treat, besides, I think it's still a bit early for me to go and see Christina. She likes to sleep in on weekends, and right now she probably needs it."

Monica smiled. "I'd love it."

"Great, I know of this coffee house here in town, and they make the best mocha chocolate coffee. It makes my mouth water just thinking about it."

"In that case, you can give me a lift," Monica said and they got in the car and drove towards the café.


*****

Christina woke up that morning, pushed the bedding aside, and crawled off the sofa. The sunlight was filtering into the room and she yawned and stretched out. "Andrew?" she called out thinking for a moment that the previous night had been a dream.

He came into the room, "Good morning, how did you sleep?"

"Like a rock. I can barely remember what happened last night," she said softly.

"You fell asleep during the movie and I figured you probably could have used the rest," he said and when she felt her forehead, she sighed deeply. "Are you OK?"

"Just a headache," she whispered and walked slowly down the hall and into the bathroom. As soon as she found some medicine, she took a pill and returned the bottle to the cabinet. Once she had taken a tablet, she splashed some water on her face as the doorbell rang. "Great, what now?" she muttered as she dried her face and came out of the bathroom.

Once she opened the door, she could see a woman standing outside. "Miss Thomas?"

"Yes, can I help you?" she asked weakly.

"My name is Daphne Wilkins, I'm a reporter for the City Express and I was wondering if I could ask you a few questions," the woman's eyes were cold as she looked at Christina accusingly.

"I'd rather not," she said softly.

"Why not?" the woman pressed.

"Because, I don't know what this is about, I just woke up, and I have a splitting headache," Christina said weakly and closed her eyes briefly. After a second, she opened them again. "It appears from the look on your face that you already have a negative opinion of me, and I'm sorry, but right now, I cannot defend myself against accusations or questions, so please leave." With that, she closed the door, but could still hear the questions emerging from the reporter about Ted Gordon.

Christina could feel the tears in her eyes once the door was closed and she went into the bedroom and picked up the small figurine that Andrew had given to her the last time he had visited her. "God, please don't let them throw me to the wolves," she said softly. "I'm afraid of what will happen if everyone in town finds out what will happen. Valerie Gordon thinks I'm at fault for it, and maybe rightfully so, I don't know anymore. But, I know she's trying to exploit her son's death to ruin me, but who can stop her from doing it? I don't have the strength right now, I feel so completely lost."

Andrew stood in the doorway and watched as she prayed. He wanted to go in and comfort her, but the gentle voice of the Father told him that this was something she needed to find on her own and that all he could do was just to be a friend to her. Instead of coming into the bedroom, he went back down the hall and into the kitchen.

At that moment, the doorbell rang again. "I'll answer it, Christina," he called out and went to open the door thinking that the reporter would still be out there. Instead, standing on the other side was Chris Gordon.

"Uh-hi, is Christina at home?" the man asked.

"Yes," he offered. "My name's Andrew, I'm a friend of hers, won't you please come in?" Andrew offered and stepped back from the doorway.

"Are you her boyfriend?" Chris asked.

"No, I'm just a friend of her family," Andrew said.

"Maybe I shouldn't have come here without notice, but I didn't know where to go. I was at the church this morning, but then something told me I should come here, so I did. I'm really worried about something and thought maybe I could talk to her about it," Chris said softly.

"Why don't we go into the living room and sit down?" Andrew offered but turned and called out to Christina bringing her out of her room.

When she saw Chris Gordon, she smiled weakly but nodded numbly. "Hello, Mr. Gordon."

"Call me Chris," he said and the three of them sat down in the living room. "Christina the reason I'm here is because I need to talk to someone, and I didn't really know who I could talk this over with."

"I don't know if I would be very good at giving advice," she said softly.

"I cannot think of anyone more fitting to speak about this to than you. I also know that I can trust you," Chris smiled weakly. "I told you last night that I don't blame you for what Ted did, and I stand by that, but Valerie…" his voice trailed off and he looked almost ashamed.

"I know; she blames me. But, what happened, why are you here?" Christina asked.

"I came here because I left Valerie," he said simply and looked at Christina and could see the shock on the young woman's face. "Not just because of Ted, but there are also other reasons. I was raised in a very religious household, Christina, my parents didn't have much, but we never missed church on Sundays. After I married Valerie, neither of us talked about God or religion at home, in fact, I had this weird feeling that Valerie didn't like it discussed, so I stopped going."

Christina nodded, the pieces to Ted's home life coming together slowly as Chris continued to speak. "I mean; it bugs me because Ted was never even baptized and soon after he was born, I stopped going to church. When I left the house this morning, the first place I went, was back to the church. I hadn't been there in over ten years, and I suddenly realized that something very significant was missing in my life. After I walked in there this morning, there was this young woman there, and she came over to me and started speaking to me. She told me some things that I didn't know about you and also about a small figurine she carries that is shaped like an angel."

"Lindsey?" Christina asked weakly.

"Yes, she's your best friend," Chris said as the young woman nodded.

Andrew smiled at the mention his other friend. "The three of us are very close."

"Yes, I know, she mentioned you as well, specifically how you helped remind her of her faith," Chris said looking at Andrew. "She said that the figure was a gift from you, and that it helped. I remembered her from when she was a very small child, and I knew that she had lived through some very difficult times. One of the things I asked her was how she managed to keep the faith even when life was at the bottom of the barrel," he paused before continuing. "She told me that she prays and that you helped her find her faith."

"Me?" Christina said softly.

"Yes," Chris said and looked at her, his eyes brimming with tears. "I know you couldn't have been responsible for what Ted did, because I know who really is."

"No one is, except Ted, himself," Andrew said gently.

"No, it was meme and Valerie. After growing up in a welfare family and being insulted and put down because of it, I wanted to make a better life for my wife and son. I worked long and hard, tried to get my education so that I could give him the things I didn't have. But, Christina, there was one thing I forgot to give him, and that was my love and attention and now he's gone. Family is supposed to be the foundation of growth, I mean I was supposed to counsel my son, not send him to counseling expecting a miracle. I mean, don't get me wrong, counseling does help, but I should have been there for him, as well."

"But, I was supposed to help, and I failed," Christina objected and could feel the tears streaming down her cheeks.

Chris reached over and took the young woman's hands in his. "You did help, but you're not God, you're a young woman who simply cares for other people. When I met your friend, Lindsey, at the church this morning, I realized that there are a lot of things in life that are more important than just a job or working. It's the family, and the love that permeates from that."

Christina could feel the tears streaming down her cheeks. "I'm sorry, Chris, but I don't think I did enough for him."

"You did though," he said.

"Then why does Mrs. Gordon want to hurt me? There's already been a reporter at my door this morning. I don't understand," Christina shook her head sadly and stood up. "Please, excuse me for a moment." Once Chris nodded, she left the room.

Chris looked at Andrew as soon as Christina disappeared through a doorway. "She's really hurting because of this. I mean Ted wasn't just a case to her, was he?"

"No, she wanted to be Ted's friend. She told him from the start that he should call her Christina and that he could talk to her about whatever he liked. Now, she blames herself for his death," Andrew said softly.

"I wish I could understand why he did this?" Chris said softly.

"He felt lost and alone," Andrew said gently.

"Sometimes I think I know the feeling far better than anyone could realize," Chris said softly as he could hear Christina crying in the bedroom. "You know, Ted often talked about death and he would ask me what it was like. I couldn't tell him anything, because I haven't experienced it. I wonder sometimes if he's in a good place now, or if he's happy. Or if he even realized what kind of chaos he left behind."

Andrew nodded. "He realizes everything, Chris, of this I am certain."

"Faith, huh?" he asked.

"Mm-hum," Andrew nodded. "Have you prayed like Lindsey suggested, maybe it would help?"

Chris shook his head, "I don't know where I would start."

At that moment, Christina came back into the living room. "Sorry," she whispered as she sat back down on the sofa. In her hands, she held the small figurine.

"You have one of those too?" Chris asked.

She nodded and smiled slightly. "I have it with me whenever I'm troubled."

Chris sighed deeply, "I guess right now we could all use a little divine intervention."

Christina looked at Andrew, but when he said nothing, she shrugged her shoulders. "Maybe there is someone here, and you just don't know it yet."

Chris nodded. "I'd like to think that's the case, Christina." He stood up. "I guess I should go." He looked at her earnestly. "I'll do everything I can to keep Valerie from hurting you, but I don't know how much good that will do, as she is willing to throw our marriage out the window for the sake of deeply embedded anger."

Christina nodded, and looked at him, "Chris, don't worry about me, I'll be OK, concentrate on overcoming the grief. I'll be praying for you."

"And I'll do the same for you," he said gently and with tears in his eyes, he looked at Andrew. "Thanks for the chat."

Once Chris had left, Christina looked at her friend. "Andrew, he doesn't blame me?"

"No, he doesn't," Andrew said and he took her hands gently in his and led her back over to the sofa. Once they were sitting he smiled gently. "Do his words even make sense to you?"

"Uh-huh, but it's hard for me not to blame myself," she said weakly.

"I know, but he said that he blames himself, and though you and I both know that he shouldn't do this to himself, couldn't you see that he acknowledges that he was accepting responsibility for what he may have failed to do?" Andrew asked gently. "It takes a very courageous person to do that, Christina."

"He's a very nice person," Christina said.

"Yes, he is, and as he said, there will be divine intervention in his life, namely, Tess and do you know anyone who can resist Tess?" He asked with a smile.

"He's in good hands, then" she said weakly. "You didn't tell him the truth, did you?"

"No, and I'm glad that you didn't, uh¾blow my cover," he said.

She smiled weakly and noticing that she had not eaten breakfast, she looked at him. "I'm hungry."

"That's a good sign," he said and offered her his arm. "Let's adjourn to the kitchen and see what kind of trouble we can cook up."

"Where did you hear that one?" she asked trying to stifle a smile.

"I guess from Lindsey," he said. "She has a way of expressing those kinds of thing and making other people smile."

"She's really a good friend, and it works," Christina said.

"Yes, she is, and wise beyond her years," he said smiling. "Just like another little angel I'm acquainted with."

"Thanks," she smiled, "you always have a way of making me feel better."

"That's what friends are for," he said.


*****

Two days later, Christina crawled out of bed to hear the telephone ringing. She walked slowly down the hall and into the living room. "Hello?"

"Child killer," a shrill voice sounded over the line and the person at the other end hung up before she could say anything. She rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and glanced around to see Andrew standing in the doorway.

"Is everything OK?" he asked.

"I guess so," she said as the phone rang again, and she hesitantly picked it up. "Hello?"

"Christina, this is Peter Harris," the voice of her boss sounded over the line.

"Hello Dr. Harris," she said softly.

"Listen, something has come up this morning, and I have to dismiss you from the practice," he said softly.

"But why?" she asked weakly.

"Have you seen the paper this morning?" he asked.

"No, I just woke up," she said softly.

"Well, the Gordon case has pretty much exploded out onto the scene, and now Valerie Gordon is apparently out for blood," he said.

"I'm fired because of lies?" she asked.

"No, but I will tell you this. So far this morning we have had six calls, four of them people who you have been working with and all of them wanted to change counselors," Peter said. "I'm sorry Christina, but I have to follow the recommendations of these people. If anything new comes up for you, I'll call you."

With that, he hung up and Christina was left holding the phone. She looked at Andrew. "I need to get a newspaper," she whispered.

"Christina, what happened?"

"Andrew, I was fired," she said softly. "Valerie Gordon seems to be set on ruining me."

At that moment, there was a knock at the door. "Will you answer it for me?" she asked as she went over and sat down on the sofa.

Andrew went to open the door and smiled weakly when he saw Bryan standing on the other side.

"Andrew, what are you doing here?"

"I was sent for Ted Gordon," Andrew explained, "but I was told I could stay and help Christina through all of this."

"I'm glad you're here, I called Jeremy last night and told him about what was going on, but he said he didn't know if he would be back until Thursday. It's awful, did you see the paper?" Bryan asked. "It's libelous, and I'm tempted to file a law suit against that mad woman and her trashy newspaper."

Andrew took the newspaper that Bryan had with him and opened it to see the article with the byline from Daphne Wilkins. As he quickly scanned the article, he shook his head sadly. "Bryan, Christina's boss called this morning, and because of this, she's been fired."

"Can't you do anything?" Bryan asked.

"No, but you can," Andrew said. "I can't change things, but I can give you an idea. Maybe you can organize the fight. Get all Christina's friends together, Lindsey, Tom, Simon, Robert, Paula, Vincent, and all the people you know of that she has helped. Through them, start writing to this newspaper. Unfortunately, that's the only suggestion that I can give you. Christina is noticeably weaker because of all this, and the blame has hurt her so much."

"Then it's good that you're here," he said. "I'll organize something, and will get going with this as soon as possible."

Andrew smiled and nodded as Bryan left. He went back into the living room and smiled gently at her. "Don't worry, your friends will never abandon you."

"When things get this bad, one realizes that the power of friends is the most significant," she said softly and allowed the tears to stream down her cheeks.


*****

Valerie Gordon awoke that morning to hear someone ringing the doorbell. She crawled out of bed and went down the stairs to answer it. The house this particular morning was unusually quiet, but she did not mind so much because it was this quiet that she liked. Today was the first day of school since Ted's death, and the following morning would be the funeral. This was hard for her to stomach, but with the reporters who seemed always to come by and ask questions took care of the loneliness that came with the loss she was encompassed with.

As she opened the door, she could see a heavyset woman on the other side. "Good morning, Mrs. Gordon, my name is Tess, and I'm here to interview you for 'The Morning Post' and thought you might like to answer some questions.

"Sure, come on in," she said. "Sorry that I'm not dressed yet, I wasn't sure I had an appointment this morning."

Tess nodded, entered the house and once they were in the living room, she settled herself on the sofa. "Are you ready?"

"Yes," Valerie said as Tess started a tape recorder.

"First of all, how do you feel about the loss of your son?" Tess asked.

"Angry," came the simple answer.

"At whom?" Tess asked.

"Everyone," she said simply. "My husband, God, the psychologist who counseled him, basically everyone."

"What about Ted? He was the one that killed himself, he ended his own life," Tess said gently.

"Ted isn't at fault," Valerie said assuredly.

"How can you be so sure that he's not? He had free-will, and he chose to take those pills," Tess said.

"Is this an interview or am I on trial?" she snapped.

"Mrs. Gordon, I read that so called objective report by Daphne Wilkins, and I saw only accusations thrown at Christina Thomas, and I want only to know or understand why you believe that she is at fault for what has transpired," Tess said.

"She was counseling my son," Valerie said.

"Yes, but did you know that she had tried to befriend your son, or that she had taken some of her free time to try and get him to trust her. Were you even aware of the fact that Christina had told him that he could call her by her first name, and that he had started to trust her?" Tess asked gently. "You are waging war against a person who is not at fault, but now because of your actions, she has lost her job, as well her reputation here."

"What do I care?" Valerie spat out.

Tess stood up and shut the tape recorder off. "Think about this, the people who Christina changed for the better are out there, and they do know the truth, and this so called news article might just become a two-edged sword."

"Get out," Valerie spat out.

Tess stood up and walked to the door. When she got there, she turned around and sighed deeply. "Many people are praying for you, Valerie, and among those are the people you consider the enemy."

With that she left and closed the door behind her.


*****

Once outside, Tess disappeared and reappeared at the front door of the Miller house. She rang the doorbell and was smiling when Tom opened it. "Tess!"

"Hello baby," she smiled. "You have time to show me that car of yours?"

"Sure come on in," he said and backed up so she could come inside the house. As he led her through the house, he spoke. "My mom and dad are now at work, and Lindsey went over to Christina's and won't be back till later," he explained. They walked up the stairs to his room. Once they went inside, he went over to a small glass casing and opened it up. "I made this casing in wood shop last year. Pretty cool huh?"

"It's nice work," Tess said simply admiring the work he had done.

He reached up and pulled down his prided model and handed it to her. "The doors open and close, and even the trunk does too."

"That's nice," she smiled as she ran her hand across the smooth surface. Once she tried out the doors and the trunk, she returned the model to him.

He returned it to the case, and turned around and smiled. "It's so great that you came by," he said.

Tess smiled and once they both sat down, she looked at him, her eyes filled with worry as she regarded him. "Tom, I need your help."

"What can I do?" He asked.

"It's about Christina," Tess said gently.

"Does it have anything to do with what happened Friday?" He asked.

"Yes, unfortunately it does," Tess said softly. "Right now, there's a local feeding frenzy taking place here, and because of what has happened, Christina is being blamed for Ted Gordon's death by the press."

"I didn't know that it had gotten this bad," Tom said.

"Yes, it has, and Christina needs to know that her friends will be there for her," Tess said as the phone rang.

He reached over and grabbed the phone that was next to his bed. "Yeah?"

"Tom, it's Bryan Thomas, I was wondering of you would be willing to help us out with something?" the voice sounded somewhat rushed as it came over the line.

"Sure Bryan, what's up?" Tom asked.

"Did you hear about what happened this morning? About the paper and what some wretched woman wrote about my sister," Bryan said Tess could hear the urgency in the voice of Christina's older brother.

"Well, Tess is here, and she's kinda giving me the low down on it," he said.

"Yeah, well, Andrew, Monica, and I are going to try and get people to stand behind Christina, and maybe you and Lindsey can help with that as well," Bryan said and quickly explained what had happened. "If you could, maybe you can write a letter to the newspaper and tell them that Daphne Wilkins is writing fantasy stories based solely on one person's skewed perspectives."

"I'll do whatever I can," Tom said smiling slightly. "But, I guess I should get a copy of the paper, and then I can really tear this woman's argument to shreds."

"Thanks, Tom, and do me another favor," Bryan said.

"What's that?"

"Spread the word, and do the letter as soon as possible," Bryan said. "I want that paper to get so inundated with letters so much so that they won't know what to say."

"The pen is mightier than the fist, huh?" Tom asked.

"You've got it," Bryan said. "Listen, I'll talk to you later."

"OK," Tom said and hung up the phone. "I guess I'd better get a copy of the newspaper and read that article."

"I have a copy with me," Tess said and pulled a copy out of her bag and handed it to him. "It is on page three."

Tom settled himself on the bed and began to read. As he did the shadows that had been in his eyes grew from mild disillusionment to full-fledged anger. "Tess, did you read this nonsense?"

The angel nodded as Tom got up and went over and sat down in front of his computer. As he began to type, she watched as his words appeared on the screen. "You have a gift with writing, Tom, have you ever thought about doing more of it?" she asked.

"Not really, but if you want to see a good writer, you should see some of the stuff Lindsey has written, she's got real talent. I just muddle through with a computer and a rusty old printer," he smiled impishly, "but, compliments are always appreciated."

They both laughed, and as he composed his letter, Tess remained with him. When it was done, she had to leave to meet with Victor Sanders, the newspaper editor.


*****

After her brother left, Christina went to shower and got dressed. As she came out of the bathroom and entered the kitchen, Andrew was waiting with breakfast and she sat down at the table. When the doorbell rang again, she sighed deeply and rested her head in her hands.

"Do you want me to get it?" he asked.

"Please, and if it's a reporter, tell them to just go away," she whispered as she reached for a cup of hot chocolate.

Andrew went down the hall and opened the door. "Lindsey!" he called out her name and hugged the young woman once she put the shopping bag down by her feet.

"Hi Andrew," she said smiling. "I heard you were back, but I wasn't sure what was going on until yesterday when I ran into Monica at the church. I'm guessing that Christina is here?"

"Yes, come on in," he said and once she was inside, he closed the door.

Once Lindsey had picked up the bag she had brought, she came down the hall and entered the kitchen. When she saw Christina seated in there, she smiled. "Hey, why so glum? I thought you'd be happy to see me here?" Lindsey said with a cheerful smile.

"Sorry," Christina said trying to offer her friend a brave smile.

"Don't worry about it. I brought you something really special," Lindsey said and handed her friend the shopping bag. "You will have a supply of the best cocoa mixes in New York at least until Christmas. I thought since you couldn't drink coffee, that you might like these."

Christina smiled as she looked inside the bag. After she sat it down, she stood up to hug her friend. "Thanks Lindsey," she said with a smile. "I appreciate this so much."

"Hey, don't let those barracudas get you down," Lindsey said smiling. "Your friends will always stand by you."

"I know, but right now it's hard," she whispered.

"Where's Jeremy?" Lindsey finally asked. "I thought he'd be here for sure."

"He's out at this sketch artist convention thing," Christina said, "he's not due back until Thursday. I think he wanted to come back, but couldn't get a last minute flight."

Lindsey nodded. "That's tough."

"I lost my job this morning," Christina said softly.

"What? Why?" Lindsey asked.

"The story in the paper, and a bunch of parents called my boss and told him they were taking their kids out of my care," Christina said sadly as she shook her head.

Lindsey stood up, and though she was sad about hearing this news, she had an idea and was not about to take no for an answer. "Let's go out, like we did when we went to the fair."

"I don't feel like it," Christina said.

"So you gonna mope around here all day and depress Andrew?" Lindsey looked at him. "Frankly speaking, I think I'd rather take 100 cases to heaven, than to see you so miserable. Come on, Christina, let's get out of this shoebox and have some fun for a change! I mean, I have spring break right now, and the time will be gone before you know it."

Christina looked at Andrew. "Would you really do as she said?"

"Maybe not, but I think Lindsey does have a point," he smiled reassuringly. "A little sunshine might be just what you need."

After some moments of contemplation, Christina nodded.

"Could we go by the house and pick up Tom, though? He's by himself there and all I'd have to do is run inside and get him," she added.

Christina nodded and looked at Andrew, and shrugging her shoulders, she took a sip of her cocoa as Lindsey sat down at the table.

"You cook?" Lindsey asked looking at Andrew as he stood by the stove.

"Yes, sometimes," he said.

"Then I'll take some of whatever it is you're making, if that's OK. I didn't eat breakfast and that smells really good," Lindsey said smiling.

"OK," Andrew said and soon each of them had a plate of eggs in front of them.

Lindsey took a bite and smiled impishly. "This sure beats dorm food," she said stuffing a forkful of eggs in her mouth. After a few moments, she looked at Andrew and spoke. "I think I've died and gone to heaven."

Andrew rested his head in his hands and shook his head dramatically as Christina spontaneously began to giggle. Lindsey looked at him and nodded her head; their little comedy routine was apparently working.


*****

The newspaper article put Chris Gordon's emotions in a complete tailspin. For the first time in well over six months, he took a day off from work and went to see his lawyer. It had been a tough decision, but he reached the unhappy conclusion that his marriage was over, and that his wife had essentially fallen out of love with him and was more focused on revenge than on trying to salvage whatever was left with their relationship.

Upon meeting the lawyer, he decided to call Christina and see how she was baring up with all the things that were being hurled at her. He felt positively horrible about the article that had appeared in the paper, and could not believe how quickly they had been in saying that Christina was at fault. When he discovered that she was not at home, he went to the clinic where she worked.

As he came in, he could see a reporter coming out, her face smug as she got into her car and drove away. He went inside and took the stairs up to the second floor. Once there, he knocked on the door. Peter Harris opened it and was rather surprised to see him.

"Mr. Gordon, what a surprise," the psychologist said.

"I need to see Christina Thomas," Chris said. "It's important. Is she here?"

"No, I dismissed her this morning," the man said.

"Let me guess, because of my son and that libelous article that appeared in this morning's paper?" Chris looked at him. "I can't believe this, you are her boss, aren't you supposed to offer her some sort of support? This story was chocked so full of lies and half-truths, that I almost choked on my breakfast this morning," Chris said. "The only truth to it was that Ted was 13-years-old."

"How do you do this, stand up against your wife?" Peter Harris asked skeptically.

"I have to start sometime, and the way things are going, she won't be my wife for much longer," Chris showed the man the forms he had gotten at the lawyer's office. "I'm filing for divorce."

"Don't you even care about your son? You're handling this remarkably well for someone who's supposed to be grieving," the psychologist asked.

"I understand that, Dr. Harris, and internally I'm a wreck, but the fact is, I cannot use my grief about Ted as ammunition to destroy the life of a young woman who only had the intention of helping." With tears streaming down his cheeks, he continued to speak. "My son did this, he's the one that took those pills, and it saddens me greatly that Christina is being dragged through the mud because of the actions of others." He looked at the psychologist. "To fire her from her job is to acknowledge the truth in these lies, and if that's the case, then God help us all!"

With that, he walked out of the office.

Peter Harris sighed deeply as soon as Chris Gordon was gone. He went back into his office and closed the door. The filing cabinet of all of Christina's cases were beckoning him to come over and start looking through it. As he stood up and went over to the cabinet, he began to pull the files out, and started looking through them.

While he was reading, he shook his head. I've made a terrible mistake, he thought sadly as he read file after file of the impact that Christina Thomas has left on people. As he read about troubled kids, and their worried parents, many things became clear to him as he reached inside and pulled a small newspaper clipping out of one of the files he held.

He wiped his face with a handkerchief as he looked down at the writing.


Robert Davies (14) is alive and well today thanks to a young woman named Christina Thomas. After witnessing him wiping out and injuring himself on his surfboard last Saturday afternoon on the Southside beach, this brave and selfless young woman dove into the freezing cold water and rescued the young boy, thus saving his life.


When he was interviewed the following week after his homecoming, Davies told the 'Insider' that he was grateful for his life, and that if Thomas had not been present, things could have ended in a tragic and horrible way. Davies' younger brother, Simon, witnessed the rescue and professed his belief that "Christina Thomas is an angel".


When asked for her comments regarding Robert Davies and the incident at the beach, Thomas only had one thing to say. "Life is a treasure, and what we do with it has more to do with free will than anything else. I hope that regardless of what I did, people will treasure the gift they have received and take care of themselves and help those who cannot."



Peter Harris took the article out of the file and with three or four separate files in his hand, he left his office and walked with brisk steps in the direction of the newspaper building. His best way of making up to Christina the doubt he had about her, was to give her the public acknowledgement she apparently never received for the good that she had done.


*****

The funeral took place the following morning, and though Christina did not appear at the service, she waited until the people had left the cemetery before she went to the gravesite of the young boy she had tried to help. Andrew offered her some privacy, but remained nearby in case she might have needed him.

The black dress she wore flowed down by her ankles and as she approached the gravesite, she wiped the tears that streamed down her cheeks. In her hands, she carried a bouquet of white roses and once she sat down near the headstone, she began to speak.

"Hello, Ted," she said softly. "I want you to know that I'm sorry that you feel I failed you. I really did try to help you and I wanted to be your friend. There were many things I wanted to tell you. I wanted to always tell you about God and how much He loves you, but I was afraid that you would have doubted my words, and that you would have been angry with me for trying to push my faith on you. I never wanted to push anything on anyone, but I wanted you to understand how important life is. I know that it gets hard to cope, but that's why you get choices, so that you can make a few right ones, and then make wrong ones, thus offering you a chance to learn. It's all a part of it. Life isn't always going to be easy, but that's why God's there, so that He can carry you through when things get hard."

She took a deep breath as she continued to speak. "My faith tells me that you're happy in heaven, and that God loves you, but there exists so much turmoil here on Earth because of that choice you made." She paused. "Your parents are both very sad about what has happened, and I know you complained often about their work, and how they were not there for you. Now if you could hear anything I say, you must believe that your mom and dad love you so very much and your absence will never be completely understood by them. The pain is there, and it's very hard for someone let go of that, especially after they lose a child. You are loved, Ted, and maybe one day, we will all see you again, and can reaffirm this. Until then, may God hold you and give you all the strength you lacked here on Earth."

She stood up slowly and placed six white roses next to the other flowers that were arranged against the grave. She wiped her hands down the front of her dress and brushed the dirt on the folds of her skirt away. As she looked over at Andrew, she sighed deeply and walked away from the site.

What she failed to notice, was that David Bowen, a young university student was watching her and with a small tape recorder in his hand. As she disappeared through the crop of trees nearby, he stopped recording and turned to walk towards a row of cars that were situated some distance from the graves.

As he made his way towards his car, he smiled. "Father," he spoke to the stillness. "I've got the quotes for my story, and now please guide me to those who will help me save her reputation."

As he turned around, he saw that Monica was now standing next to him. "You asked for help, David, and I'm here to help you. My name is Monica, and I'm a friend of Christina's," she said. "I'm also an angel."

David's eyes widened when she began to glow, but he smiled as though he had met angels on a daily basis. "OK, Monica, I'm in your hands," he said simply. "Tell me please where I have to go."

"We're going to visit Christina's brother, Bryan, and you're going to write the rebuttal for the article that appeared in the paper yesterday," she said.

The young man nodded. "Strangely, Christina helped my little sister, Brittany, and through her, she revived my faith. Perhaps there exists far more people out there who have been helped by her, than even she is aware of."

Monica smiled and nodded. "That's right, and now, we get to return the favor and help her."


*****

Christina and Andrew arrived at the Thomas house that evening. She was tired but appeared to be in good spirits when her parents greeted them at the door. "How you holding up, honey?" Daniel asked her when he saw his daughter. He could tell that the last few days had run their course on her emotions and the newspaper article had hurt her far more than anything else could.

"Bryan is organizing the fight against this article," Donna told her daughter as they came into the living room. "And guess who decided to come visit us?"

Andrew and Christina looked down and could see her nephew sitting in a playpen and holding a specially made teddy bear. Andrew got down on his knees and looked inside the pen at the little boy. "Well, hello there, handsome fellow," he said with a smile causing the two grandparents to beam with pride.

Christina smiled as she watched, and went over to him. "You know his name?"

Andrew looked at her and shook his head. "No, what did Rachel and Bryan name him?"

"Adam Joshua Thomas," she said softly. "It's a pretty name, isn't it? He's named after your friend."

"Adam will be extremely honored by that," Andrew said and nodded towards Christina's parents. "Rachel and Bryan both knew him, Bryan from the accident, and Rachel from Halloween when she was a little girl. I think it's wonderful and I will tell Adam when I see him again. Where does the name Joshua come from?"

"That's easier for us to explain. Joshua is Bryan's middle name," she explained with a smile as she picked the child up in her arms and hugged him tenderly.

Andrew stood up and looked at Donna and Daniel. "He truly is a beautiful child," he said, "and a wonderful gift from the Father."

Christina smiled and when Andrew joined her, she looked down at her nephew. "Adam, this is Andrew, and he's a very special friend of mine."

Almost in response to her words, the child reached out towards the angel, and Andrew took the small boy in his arms. As he held Adam in his arms, he smiled gently as he felt the child's hands against his face.

Donna smiled. "He can sense who you are, can't he?"

"I don't really know," Andrew said, "but small children can often sense if someone means them well."

Daniel smiled. "He's quite a bruiser, isn't he? Just like his daddy."

They all laughed as Andrew returned the child to his playpen. When he straightened out, he joined Daniel on the sofa for the evening news. Donna and Christina went into the kitchen.

"So when is Jeremy going to get back?" Donna asked.

"In two days," she said. "Mom, he said he has a surprise for me, do you think he'll finally pop the question?"

"I don't know, but what do you think?"

"I hope he does," she said smiling.

"Besides your relationship with Jeremy, are you doing OK?" Donna asked.

"I guess so, tomorrow I'm going to start looking for a new job," she sighed sadly. "I can't believe he fired me. I worked so hard these past few years, and I thought everything was as perfect as could be. I mean; these last three years have been the best in my life. I was really going somewhere with this."

"I know, honey, you make both your father and me very proud. You've accomplished so much in the last few years and you've made decisions that any parent would be completely happy about." She reached over and touched her daughter's face. "You're a gift from God too, Christina, you have the amazing ability to give to others, and everyone that meets you is blessed by that."

"Thanks, Mom, but maybe the reason I've come this far is because of the angels," she said softly.

"No honey, I don't just mean your friendship with Andrew. I mean, you have the ability to make a difference. Look at your stories, and the children you've helped and inspired. You didn't fail anyone, maybe what you failed to realize is that you're not perfect. No one can expect you to save the world, Christina. Maybe Valerie Gordon reacted out of jealousy and bitterness rather than to accept and realize what had actually happened."

Christina smiled weakly, but when she felt her mother's arms around her, she began to weep. "I couldn't change what Ted did."

"There's no one on Earth that could have changed that, Chrissie. You tried, you gave your all for that child, but just because it didn't go the way you had hoped, doesn't mean that you failed anyone," Donna said.

"I'll try to remember that," she said softly and hugged her mother.

"Come on, let's get back into the living room and give those guys something to eat. I baked some cookies today, and I know that chocolate chip cookies always got you into a better mood."

"That was only when I was a little girl," she said.

"Yeah, so?" her mother smiled.

Christina took a plateful of cookies out into the living room and her mother followed with a teapot. Once she placed the plate on the table and sat down on the sofa, she reached for a cookie and began to eat it. "I forgot how good these tasted."

"Maybe you should come by more often, Chrissie," her father said with a smile. "It might give your mother the incentive to bake them more often."

Andrew reached over and took one as well and bit into it. As he did, a smile spread across his face. "Now I understand what Lindsey meant when she said that she had died and gone to heaven."

Christina began to laugh, as she playfully punched his arm.


*****

Bryan's protest against Valerie Gordon's onslaught on his sister was working rather well. After Monica had brought David Bowen to see him, the young student composed the story, and Bryan managed to get stories and other things about Christina together. Lindsey and Tom Miller had informed him that their letters had been sent, and a number of kids that Christina had helped had called Bryan and Rachel's house to leave messages and information.

Now, all the information he had been given had been typed into the computer and printed out. With David standing next to him, they marched inside the newspaper building. He could see Daphne Wilkins seated at a desk, but rather than say anything to her, they made a beeline to the editor's office and once inside, they plopped their notes on the man's desk.

"Hello, Mr. Sanders, please excuse the interruption, but my name is David Bowen, and this is Bryan Thomas. We have some information you might wish to see."

"What is this in reference to?" Victor Sanders asked.

"It's about my sister Christina, and what one of your reporters wrote about her. We have a number of letters and other things to back up our story, and putting it bluntly. If your paper refuses to hear our side of the story in an objective forum, then my family will file a lawsuit against Daphne Wilkins as well as your newspaper with regards to defamation of character," Bryan said. "If you're wondering if my sister knows about this action, she does not, and she would be too shy in trying to defend herself. Just listen to this."

David pulled out the tape recorder and turned it on. Christina's voice filled the office leaving the editor looking at the two of them in wide-eyed astonishment. "That was really Christina's voice?" he asked.

"Yes, she doesn't know I recorded it, and for that matter, she doesn't even know who I am; but it is her," David said nodding. "This was all she said to Ted Gordon when she was at the cemetery this morning. There were no accusations thrown about Valerie Gordon nor was there anything said about the newspaper article that you published."

"Excuse me for a moment, I think there is someone else who needs to hear this conversation," he stood up and walked over to the door and once he opened it, his voice thundered through the unusually quiet newspaper room. "Daphne Wilkins, in my office this instant!"

The stern looking reporter came inside to see Bryan and David seated inside. "Ms. Wilkins, I don't believe you've met Bryan Thomas, and David Bowen as of yet."

Daphne's face paled considerably when she heard their names being dropped.

"I believe in giving people a fair shake, Ms. Wilkins, but what I have heard up till this point makes me ashamed of being an editor. You said that you spoke to other people who knew Christina Thomas, and not just to Mrs. Gordon, correct?"

"I tried," she stammered. "I went to see Ms. Thomas on Saturday morning, but she wouldn't talk to me."

"Could you blame her for not wanting to?" Bryan asked. "She told me that she was sick, and suffering from a migraine headache when you came by. My sister is a very sensitive person, and she could tell by looking at you, that no matter what she said, you would have basted her alive. Frankly, I wouldn't want to speak to a reporter who approached me in this frame of mind, either."

Daphne looked at the three of them. "I don't have to defend myself, I did nothing wrong."

"I beg to differ, Ms. Wilkins," Victor spoke up. "We have, since the article came out, more than just Mr. Thomas and Mr. Bowen coming in here to speak to me about the article. This morning, a Doctor Peter Harris was here to give me some information and he came almost directly after Mr. Chris Gordon, the boy's father had been here. Finally, we have letters from Tom and Lindsey Miller as well as numbers of children who have called the paper asking why someone would verbally attack Christina Thomas, and wondering why their parents have suddenly stopped their counseling sessions with her." He shook his head and took an article out of a folder and handed it to her. "Ms. Wilkins, I'd like you to take a look at this. It was published over a year ago by the 'Southside Insider'."

He handed the paper across the desk to the woman. As she read the article, her face paled. "I didn't know," she finally offered.

"You're a reporter, you should have known, and if you didn't, then you should have found out. Now, you're being taken off your current assignment, and if you want to continue working for this newspaper, or in this town, then you will offer these gentlemen your assistance, and you will apologize to Ms. Thomas for refusing to see her side of the story. If I ever hear of you not objectively reporting information again, you're work as a reporter will be over, and I will make sure of that. That is all."

Daphne Wilkins stood up and left the office, the humiliation evident in her face.

Alone in the office, the editor looked at Bryan. "I'm really sorry about what happened, Mr. Thomas. I will do everything I can to rectify this situation with your sister."

"That's all we really wanted," Bryan said sincerely. "I don't want to create problems for you or your paper with regards to this and the last thing I want to do is make legal problems for anyone. My sister's very important to me and her rights have clearly been overlooked and violated. Now, because of this, she must work even harder to regain the trust of the people here and that is never easy."

"But she's a fighter," the editor said. "She'll overcome everything, of that I am certain."

Bryan and David nodded, but they stood up. "I think we have some work to do," David said and smiled.

"Let me see whatever you've got when you're done," the editor said, "And I hope that this situation will find a peaceful resolution."

After Bryan and David left the room, Tess appeared next to him. "You learned your lesson, Victor?" she asked gently.

The editor nodded. "I have, and I won't ever make the same mistake twice."

"I'm glad, baby, because you do your job well, this situation was only a lapse in judgment," the angel said.

"Are you really friends with Christina Thomas?" he asked.

Tess nodded, "we're friends with everyone who wishes this, and as long as the people realize this, then they would not do anything to harm their fellow man."

"I'll try to remember that, Tess," he said smiling weakly.

"I know you will. Take care Victor, and God said you should keep up the good work," Tess said and disappeared.

Victor Sanders smiled weakly once she was gone.


*****

The following morning, Valerie Gordon was completely beside herself with anger. She could see the public apology in the paper, and she was mad. As she sat down at the kitchen table, a voice startled her and she looked up and could see a handsome man standing near where she was sitting at the table.

"Valerie, my name is Andrew, and I'm an angel," the man said.

"What do you want with me?" she asked.

"I want to talk to you about your son," he said softly.

"He's gone," she said sadly.

"I know, I was the angel who took him to heaven," Andrew said, his voice filled with compassion. "I wanted to come see you before now, but I was helping a friend of mine cope with the verbal assault that was empowering her."

"You're friends with Christina Thomas?" She asked.

"I have known Christina since she was seven years old. We have been friends for the last 21 years," he said. "I was with her in the hospital chapel when you came in the night your son chose to end his life."

"Why are you telling me this?" she asked.

"Because, it is the truth and is something that you should know," he said simply. "I'm an Angel of Death, Valerie, and when I was sent to your son, he asked me for another chance, which I could not give him. Christina tried to offer him another chance when he was alive, but he would not listen to her. Christina has been hurt by your words, but she has not spoken out against you because she knows you are in pain."

Valerie sighed deeply and looked at him as he continued to speak. "It is time for you to forgive, not Christina, but rather yourself. You cannot use your son's death as a way to cook up schemes, you have to accept responsibility for your actions."

The woman looked at him with a mixture of shock and surprise in her expression. "How do you know so much about me?" she asked.

"I know what God tells me about you, Valerie," he said gently and rested his hands on her shoulders. "He knows you're hurting and that the loss of your son is painful for you, but, He has always been there for you, and He wants to be a part of your life. Christina wanted to lead your son to God, but she was not capable because each person must find their way to the Father. He will listen to you when you seek Him out, and He will love you without the conditions that mankind is bound to."

Valerie could feel the tears streaming down her cheeks. "What should I do?"

"Allow yourself to grieve your son, and continue with your life, but this time, try to do continue with the strength of God, and not focus it on bitterness," he said and squeezed her shoulders once more before disappearing.

Once alone, Valerie Gordon did something she had not done since she was a little girlshe prayed.


*****

Andrew returned to Christina's apartment and was surprised to see that Jeremy had returned and was parking in front of the building. "Jeremy, you're back."

"Hi Andrew," he said. "Yeah, I flew back a day earlier than expected. Anyway, I heard you and your friends were here, and I thought it would be cool to see you again, not to mention surprise Christina while you're still here."

"What are you planning?" Andrew asked.

"You're an angel, buddy, you should already know," Jeremy nudged Andrew and grinned. "I hadn't seen you since I was out at my sister's place a year ago, and I forgot how much fun you are. Anyway, I was really shocked when Monica showed up and told me what was happening here."

"It seems to be pretty much resolved," Andrew said.

"I'm glad, because it's hard for me to see her so sad," he said.

"Jeremy, I think she'll like whatever surprise you give her," Andrew said.

"Well, you know, I tried getting her to a wrestling match once and she wasn't so keen on that, so maybe everything except," he smiled. "Come on, I need something to eat, it was a long trip."

Andrew smiled and they walked to her door and Jeremy rang the bell and waited until it opened. When it did, Christina's eyes widened. "Jeremy, you're here? But, I thought you weren't due back until tomorrow?"

Once he and Andrew came inside, Jeremy began to speak. "It would have happened like that, but I was told I was needed back here, so I came." He took her hands in his. "I want you to know that next time something happens, you should talk to me about it. Whatever is said between us will stay between us. Christina, I want you to know, and all kidding aside, I will do whatever I can to help you through whatever it is that weighs heavily on you. I'm no angel," he smiled weakly at Andrew. "But, I do love you."

With that, Jeremy got down on one knee and took her hand. "Christina, will you marry me?"

Christina could suddenly feel the tears welling up under her eyes and she nodded numbly as Jeremy stood up, wrapped her in his arms, and kissed her. She began to cry in his arms and when their hug loosened, she could see that Andrew was still standing in the hallway.

Jeremy placed a diamond ring on her finger and she stared down at it. "It's beautiful, oh Jeremy, I love you so much, you're positively wonderful."

As they hugged once again, Jeremy glanced over towards Andrew. "Can you believe it? She actually said yes. I had been practicing that speech since I flew out of here last week." He smiled impishly at Christina and hugged her tightly.

As their hug loosened, Christina could see that Tess and Monica had joined Andrew. "Uh, Jeremy, I guess I should introduce you to my other friends," she said.

Jeremy's eyes widened when he saw Monica and Tess standing next to Andrew. "More angels? Oh man, Christina, how many of God's messengers are you acquainted with anyway?"

"Only four," Christina grinned.

"Only?" Jeremy shook his head in disbelief.

"Well, I haven't seen Adam since I was ten," she grinned. "Anyway, this is Tess and Monica."

"Yes, Monica and I have met," he said smiling slightly and he looked at Tess. "Hi."

"Hello Jeremy," Tess said.

"Congratulations," Monica said.

"Christina, everything seems to have worked out for you, so we're going to leave now, but you'll see us again," Tess said.

Christina nodded and once Tess and Monica disappeared, she looked at Andrew. "Will you come to our wedding, Andrew?"

"If I can, I'll be there," he smiled and hugged her. "Take care, my little angel, and Jeremy, do try to behave yourself."

"What? Me?" Jeremy asked, his face the picture of innocence. "What has she been telling you about me?"

"Just that you're a good person," Andrew said and smiled as Jeremy suddenly realized that the angel did not always appear to be on the receiving end of jokes.

As soon as he was gone, Jeremy looked at Christina and wrapped her in his arms. "Are you happy?"

"You're back, that makes me happier than all the angels in heaven, Jeremy," she said softly and held tightly to him.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there for you during all of this," he said.

"I'm not angry, I should have told you about this, but I've never really told people enough about my feelings, but you'll be patient while I work through this, right?" she asked.

"I will, and for what it's worth, I'm glad to know that your friends were here for you during this entire escapade. If I help you deal with this, then please, could you help me get used to the fact that they never seem to use the door?"

Christina nodded and their agreement was sealed with a kiss.


The End


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