A 'Touched by an Angel' story
By: Yvette Jessen
© 2001, not intended to infringe on any previously held copyrights. This is an amateur publication.
*****
Brenda was standing on the stage of the local college, she had been in there for some time, and was wondering almost constantly why she had decided to even come into this large open room. It was hard to describe what it felt like to be on stage simply because she had always wanted to be an actress ever since she was a little girl. For some reason, she had started to loose all hope of ever pursuing it, simply because she was beginning to feel pressured by her parents to chose a major that completely went against her personality. Her mother and father were both lawyers, and naturally they wanted the same for their only daughter, but this was not what she wanted and she could not gun up the courage to tell them this.
She simply had no desire whatsoever to go into law; it was something that was so unlike her, that most of her friends were worried about her and how this pressure was affecting her. Often times she simply wondered if there would ever be a way to get out of this situation.
Most of the people who knew the petite redhead would say that she was more likely to land a role-playing a lawyer on television than she would to actually practice law in the big city. They did not know how to help their friend, and they all seemed to be baffled that someone as talented as Brenda would have these kinds of hang-ups.
Her Hollywood dreams remained just that, the dreams of a 19 year old girl, who had long since given up on anything she loved to actually happen in her life. All of her hopes, everything she had ever loved, were somehow being taken away from her because her parents disapproved of it. It was no secret that she always seemed to feel like a marionette with her parents pulling the strings of it and dictating to her what she would do and where she would go. When they said jump, she jumped, and for the first time in her life, she found herself not only afraid to stand up to her parents, but also she feared what would become of her if she were to continue doing their bidding. She felt as though her life was literally at a standstill and often times she contemplated ending it.
She looked around the empty theater and sighed deeply. Sitting up there on the stage was at least better than contemplating her life. She dreamed of being there with an audience there to watch her and applaud her performance. She would stand up and take a bow as a bunch of red roses were given to her and she would smile gratefully as the curtain came down.
As she contemplated this, she glanced up to see someone coming up one of the center aisles. She stood up and began to run her hand down her skirt.
"Hello," the young woman said, her voice a lilting Irish baroque. "I'm Monica."
"Brenda Martinson," she said weakly as she came down from off the stage.
"Weren't you in the play the drama department put on last semester?" Monica asked. "I believe it was called 'The Glass Menagerie'."
"Yes, I played 'Amanda'," Brenda said softly.
"I saw the opening, you were really something," Monica said.
"Thank you."
"Are you going to do the play this semester, Brenda?" Monica asked. "We're doing something that someone from here wrote. It's a piece entitled 'A Touch of Heaven'. I was thinking maybe you could read for the role of Andrea. I have a copy of the script with me, and I think you'd be perfect for it."
"What's it about?" Brenda asked, her interest sparking.
"It's about a boy who wants to commit suicide and there are angels who help convince him otherwise. Andrea is the Angel of Death in the story," Monica explained pulling the script out of her bag. "I think you would do great with it. After seeing how you portrayed Amanda last semester, I can't think of anyone more perfect for the role."
"That's a funny bit," she mused softly.
"Why funny?" Monica asked.
"Me playing an angel."
"Why not, don't you think you have any angelic qualities?" Monica asked with a smile.
"I don't know, I never really thought about it," she said weakly and accepted the script. "Are you going to be helping with the play?"
"Yes, I'm the assistant for it," Monica said. "My friend Tess is going to be the director, because the Drama Professor is on sabbatical this semester."
"I heard about that, the story was that he was going to New York to work with an 'Off Broadway' musical or something," Brenda said.
"Yes, well anyway, I hope that you will read through this script and give this some consideration, I think you'd be a shoe-in for Andrea, and it's really going to be a lot of fun."
Once Monica left, Brenda looked down at the script she held. It did sound like fun, and as she gathered her books together, she smiled slightly as she contemplated this possibility. Her parents do not necessarily have to know that she had taken a role this semester. They had given her a hard time last semester because of all the rehearsal times and the work she put into it. This time, she could find the time away from home to learn the lines and maybe some of her friends would actually help her with this. She tucked the script inside her notebook, grabbed the backpack she carried, and she walked towards the entrance.
As she got outside, she could see that Monica was standing on the curb talking to a woman behind the wheel of a red convertible. Brenda approached and smiled at them. "Monica, if the offer's still good, I'd like to give it a shot with Andrea. When should I come?"
"Friday at 3," Monica said, "by then classes will be over and there won't be any conflicts."
"OK," she said and walked slowly away.
*****
Tess was still seated behind the wheel as the young woman walked away. "She's got it bad," the elder of them said.
"Depression?" Monica asked.
"No, Angel Girl, fear," Tess said.
"What's she afraid of?" Monica asked.
"I'd guess her parents," a masculine voice answered, and they looked over to see Andrew was now standing next to them. The Angel of Death had a worried look on his face, but he greeted them both with a warm smile.
"What do you know about her, Andrew?" Monica asked.
"I've been sent to actually take part in a US Foreign Policy class. It's a part of their legal program here, and she sits two desks over from me. If there were such a thing as dying of boredom, she would be the poster child for it in that class. She sits in there while everyone debates and she stares down at her notebook and doesn't say a word," he said. "I've seen her after class, and she just walks around as though she would rather be anywhere but where she actually is."
"That's understandable, she's stuck taking Pre Law nonsense, when she would rather be on a stage and performing as an actress," Tess said. "On stage is where that girl belongs. She's got talent, and our job is to make sure she discovers this before she does something drastic."
Andrew nodded smiling at Monica. "At least you got her to try the role, that's a start."
"She's going to be playing you," Monica said, her eyes practically dancing. "What are you going to do if she plays the role better than you?"
"Hopefully more than suffer through US Foreign Policy," Andrew said catching his friend's attempt with a joke and giving her a winning smile. "I was there when they found the Constitution, and when the Cold War was going on, so this is really old news to me, but some of the arguments I've heard in there would make the founding fathers roll over with laughter."
"No kidding, Angel Boy, like three hundred years old," Tess laughed. "So you Angel Babies coming or are we going to sit here until early spring and starve to death?"
Andrew and Monica got into the car and they drove towards a small café, which was near the campus. There, they would have a late lunch and discuss what they were going to do about the situation.
*****
Brenda stepped inside the house, and sighed with relief when she discovered that it was empty. Her parents were both still at work and she went upstairs to her room. Once she came inside, and sat down on her bed, she pulled the script from her bag and began to flip through it. Andrea, the Angel of Death, is a soft spoken, and kind-hearted angel. She is not the persona of the grim reaper as often characterized on television, but rather an angel of gentleness and love. She helps those who must face death and comforts them as they pass from this life to the other side. She smiled slightly as she began to read through Andrea's lines and found that she liked the character a lot. I think I can do this; she contemplated as she stood up with the script in hand.
She cleared her throat and began to speak. "I am an angel, Theodore, I was sent from God to help you. I know you're frightened right now, but you're never alone, because God would not leave you." She stopped speaking and looked around the room. These lines could give you goose bumps if you think about them a lot, she thought, but looked down at the script again.
"He loves you more than you could possibly imagine, but it hurts Him when you think about ending your life before you discover your own path," Brenda sighed sadly as she stopped reading. I know I've been doing this, she thought sadly to herself, but how can I even understand what God wants, when I can't even pursue what it is I want?
As she heard the door slam downstairs, she quickly stuffed the script inside her backpack and zipped it closed.
"Brenda!" her mother's voice and she came out of her room.
"Hi, Mom," she said once she came down the stairs.
"What's going on?" Marjorie Martinson asked.
"I was just working with some stuff for my classes," she said.
"Your father called me at the office about an hour ago, and he said that there's going to be a seminar on Friday afternoon, and that he thought you might be interested in going," her mother said, but Brenda's face paled, and she looked down at her shoes.
"Sorry, but I've made plans," Brenda tried to explain. "I was asked to come to the Theater Arts Club."
"Your father has given out 20 dollars a head for this seminar, so I'd suggest you cancel it," Marjorie said sternly. "This is about your studies, not this other nonsense. When are you going to give this stuff up and step into the real world?"
"Mom, this 'nonsense' is something I care about, and even if you don't appreciate it, then that doesn't mean that it's not important," Brenda said softly. "When's the seminar?"
"It's at one, right after you get out of your last class," her mother answered. "It goes for two hours."
"OK, I'll go, but right after it's over, I've got to get back on campus for the meeting," she sighed deeply. "Is that OK?"
"Yes," her mother said.
"Mom, could you ask Dad the next time he wants me to attend a seminar that he ask me first before buying the tickets? I may have something else planned," she said.
"Like this worthless Theater club?"
"I didn't think you'd understand, but this club is something fun for me, and I'd rather go to it than to spend an entire afternoon with my nose buried in a book."
"How can you talk to me like that, I only have your best interests at heart?" her mother asked.
"I know you do," Brenda said and sighed deeply. "I'm not trying to make trouble, Mom, I just want to do some things on my own and ask only that you try to understand that. I didn't have anything planned when I told Monica that I would be at the meeting, and I'm not going to fall back on my word," Brenda said. When her mother said nothing more to her, she shrugged her shoulders and walked out of the room leaving her mother standing there and staring after her.
Upstairs, Brenda grabbed the backpack where the script was and reached for her jacket. I've got to get out of here, she thought sadly to herself before she makes me change my mind about going to Friday's meeting. Shaking her head, she left the room, went down the stairs and out the front door without saying a word.
Outside, she wandered aimlessly down the walk and in the direction of the county library. On the street, she could see the children playing and she sighed sadly as soon as she arrived at the tall marble building.
Of all the places in this old town where she lived, she loved the library the most. The old marble structure was almost 100 years old, and when she would walk in, it smelled of mahogany and wood lacquer as well as old books. This place always made her feel relaxed, and she would spend endless afternoons here studying or reading.
Often, she thought about trying to get a part time job there and even the librarians had thrown that suggestion to her, but after starting at the college, she found that she just didn't have time to take on a job. Not when she was forced into taking classes that were at the sophomore level and being pressured by her parents to finish her degree within a four-year timeframe. She asked herself if her parents had already started mapping out where she would go to law school or what area of law she would specialize in. She sighed sadly wishing for some sort of resolution in all of this, and hoping that one day she would be able to stand up to her parents without hurting them.
The possibility of working at the library would have been nice, she thought sadly as she searched the large open room for an empty table. She would have liked to have some extra pocket money as well as a few hours away from the house each week.
Sighing sadly, she found an empty table, went over to it, and sat down. Rather than opening the textbook she had in her backpack, she pulled out the script and opened it to where she had stopped reading. She rested her chin on her hands and continued to read until a voice distracted her.
"Hi," the friendly masculine voice spoke causing her to look up.
"Hello," she said and closed the script.
"You're in my US Foreign Policy class, right?" Andrew asked as he sat down at the table across from her.
"Unfortunately," she said softly.
"What do you mean by 'unfortunately'?" he asked. "Don't you find that stuff interesting?"
"Sure about as interesting as a trip to dentist for a root canal," she said sarcastically and he grimaced. When she saw his face, she smiled weakly. "Sorry, if that offends you, it wasn't my intention."
"Actually, it doesn't because I find it be rather uninteresting myself," he said.
"Then why are you there?" She asked. "I guess I just figured that anyone over 25 years old would only be in there if they were actually interested in it."
"I suppose you're right, but the truth is, I am in there because I have to be. Otherwise, I would be doing something that is more fun," he said smiling.
"My name's Brenda," she said finally allowing herself to smile.
"Andrew," he said and offered her his hand. She shook hands with him as he continued to speak. "What are you reading? It doesn't look like US Foreign policy notes."
"I hope not," she sighed deeply. "Actually, it's a script, I'm sort of in the Drama Club and I was asked to take a role for this semester's production."
"You're into acting?" he asked trying to get her to talk about herself.
"Yeah, at least as much as I can get away with," she said smiling weakly.
"What do you mean?" he asked.
"Nothing," she said softly.
"OK, so tell me about this play, I'd really like to hear about it."
"Well, it's called 'A Touch of Heaven' and is about a boy named Theodore who wants to commit suicide because he doesn't see any way out of some rather painful situations," she began. "It's kind of depressing, but the dialogues in it are really quite moving. Whoever wrote this, must really be on a high spiritual level, because I've never even seen such wonderful sentiments before in my life."
"Really? What part are you reading for?" he asked.
"Her name is Andrea, and she's an Angel of Death," Brenda began. "She's a really neat character and she says some of the most beautiful things about God and heaven. I really like the part, and if it was any other part, I probably would not have been as adamant about doing it as I am." She sighed sadly. "You see, my parents don't approve of my acting; they think I should do something realistic like being a lawyer."
"Could you read something out of the script?" He asked. "I'd really like to hear some of those moving sentiments you described."
"OK," she opened the script. "This is the part when she tells Theodore that she's an angel." Andrew nodded as Brenda slipped into the same exact role of what he in real life is. "I am an angel, Theodore, I was sent from God to help you. I know you're frightened right now, but you're never alone, because God would not leave you. He loves you more than you could possibly imagine, but it hurts Him when you think about ending your life before you discover your own path. That path, like you, is unique and special and I was sent here to tell you that God understands the pain you feel far more than you think, and that if you ask Him to help you cope with it, then it will become easier because He will carry you through." She closed the script.
"What do you think of those words you just read?" Andrew asked.
"I don't know," she said honestly. "I wonder sometimes if angels actually do exist. I mean, I believe in God, but I just don't know, there's a lot of uncertainty in my mind about it. I guess it makes a lot of sense what is written here but the idea of unconditional love is still rather alien to me."
"Why is that?"
"Well, let's just say that if you were to experience things the way I have lately, you would be left to think that as long as you do what other people want, then everything is fine, but as soon as you try to do what it is you want, then those people get upset and they act like you're the last piece of dirt on the street," she said sadly. "You can't win for losing."
"What is it you want to do?" He asked looking at her intently. "Do you want to be a lawyer, or do you want to play one on television?"
She smiled weakly. "My childhood dream was to be an actress, but both of my parents are lawyers, and they are pretty much pushing me through law school stuff. That's why I'm stuck in this stupid Foreign Policy class. I hate it, and worse than that, I hate my life, and where's it's going."
"That must be very hard for you," he said sympathetically.
"I guess it could be worse," she said sadly, her hand flipping the pages of the script that rested on the table in front of her.
"I don't know if it could, Brenda," he said gently. "You don't look at all happy about the situation."
Brenda nodded and looked at him. "It's weird, but I've never really talked to anyone about this. My friends, well they know about it, simply because they've been around when my parents are present, and sometimes, they see the pressure, but none of them have any idea what it feels like to live with it, and to always feel like they're doing what other people want."
"Does it feel better for you to talk about it?" he asked softly.
"Yeah, but all the talking in the world isn't going to change the way things are," she looked into his compassionate green eyes. "I can't talk to my parents about it, and if I tried, then they would tell me I'm playing some stupid role and that I should be grateful to them for having my best interests at heart," she sighed sadly.
"But they don't, do they?" he reached across the table and squeezed her hand gently.
Brenda wiped her free hand across her face and looked at him as she shook her head sadly. "I can't even tell them about this play, because last semester I did the role of 'Amanda' from 'The Glass Menagerie' and my father hit the ceiling when I told him about it. He wanted me to go to all these stupid seminars and I just wasn't interested. Besides that, I couldn't because I was in rehearsal almost every night. Now, it's almost as though I can't even say no to them, and if I do, then there's another stupid argument or I have to explain why I can't come."
"How old are you?" he asked.
"19," she said and looked at him. "Did you ever feel like you were trapped in a corner and there was no way out?"
"I think everyone feels that way at one time or another," he said honestly.
"More often than not, I feel that way, but I can't explain why, but this play is really important to me. Maybe if I portray Andrea, I can find another way out besides suicide," she said softly. "I mean she does say a lot of things that make sense to me."
"I hope you can," Andrew said sincerely. "Suicide is never the answer."
"If my parents try to keep me from doing it, I don't know what I'll do. Andrew, I honestly feel somehow that God may want me to do this play. Maybe He knows somehow it might convince me to not just read the words of this angel, but accept them as real and true for my own life," she said softly. "I guess that sounds rather stupid, huh?"
"No, it doesn't, and I hope that you will do the part, Brenda," he smiled. "If you can perform this part with the same assurances as you did with that small piece of it that you read me, I am certain that you'd make the real Angel of Death very proud," he said smiling brightly.
She smiled and stood up, "Thanks for the encouragement."
"No problem," he said gently. "If you ever need to talk, I'll listen, just give me a call," he said and handed her a slip of paper with his telephone number written on it.
"Thanks," she smiled weakly and accepted the paper. As soon as she was gone, Andrew sighed deeply.
"Please Father," he prayed, "give her a little bit of your strength and help her to find the answers and resolutions she needs."
*****
On Friday afternoon, to the surprise of the other young people in the Drama Club, Brenda walked inside some twenty minutes after the meeting had started. "Sorry, I'm late, I had to go to this stupid seminar with my parents, and luckily, it got out right as the meeting here was starting. I tried to get here as quickly as I could, but it was across town."
"That's OK baby, take a seat, I just passed out copies of the script," Tess said with a smile when she saw the young woman coming in.
"I have one," she said as Tess reached for a script to give to her.
"Good. OK, everyone, I would like to see the following people on the stage, 'Jordan, you'll play Theodore today, Brenda I want you to do Andrea, Megan, I want you to be Theodore's mother, Agatha, and Zoe, you try the role of the angel named Vivian." As soon as Tess had gone through all the names, Brenda got up on the stage to rehearse the first scene. "Now, keep in mind, kids, this doesn't mean that you'll be permanently playing these roles. I simply tried to fit the characters with the people I thought would be the best suited for that particular role. Now are there any questions?"
The students did not seem to have any objections to Tess' directions, so they began to rehearse. The first scene had Andrea and Vivian, the two angels in the story discussing Theodore's life, his troubles, and what may happen to him over the course of the story.
"You said that Theodore is a young college student, Andrea, and as far as I know he hasn't much hope for the future," Zoe said in the role of Vivian. "He's at the point in his life which indicates that he is more or less stuck at a crossroads. He wants to do one thing and feels drawn by others to do something else."
"I know that he is suicidal, Vivian, I can tell by looking at him. The spark isn't in his eyes any longer, and the Father sent me here as a stand-by because He has considered what that boy might try to do to himself," Brenda said.
"I'm supposed to take his case, but I don't yet know how to get him to talk to me," Zoe continued.
"I can do nothing to persuade him either way, he has free will, but it would break my heart to have to take him home. He's so young and headstrong."
"Cut!" Tess called out. "Perfect, you two read those parts wonderfully."
Monica nudged Tess and the older of the angels nodded; the two girls did sound an awful lot like Monica and Andrew when they would discuss their cases. Tess nodded and Monica smiled
"I'm casting you two for those roles; that is, if no one here has any objections," Tess said and looked around the room. The other students appeared satisfied with the director's decision and the rehearsal resumed with Tess deciding the roles for the other characters.
Brenda smiled brightly and it was clear to all of them that she was happy with the decision of the director. She had not smiled like this in over a month, and for all the students gathered, it came as a relief to them. Somehow, they knew that the young woman was completely overjoyed with the fact that she had landed this particular role and perhaps this would give her a new lease on life.
*****
Two hours later, the rehearsal ended and Brenda left the theater building and came outside. She carried a genuine smile on her face, and when she glanced up, she could see Andrew was walking towards her. He waved and she returned the gesture.
"Hey, what are you doing here? Classes let out hours ago," she said when he reached her.
"I heard the director was going to decide who would get what roles and I wanted to come by and see how everything went," he said running his hand through his blonde hair. "So, what happened?"
"I got the part," she said. "Somehow I think Tess was really pleased with how I read it, too."
"Congratulations," he said enthusiastically. "I had a feeling you would do it."
"Thanks," she smiled. "Where you going?"
"I was going over to the Student Center for a cup of coffee," he said.
"Listen, since you were the one who encouraged me to go for it with the play, I'll treat you to a cup," she said with a smile. "It's the very least I can do."
"Thank you," he said and they walked towards the other building. "It's a nice afternoon, isn't it?"
"Yeah, it is, the first sunny day in over three weeks. I was wondering if I would have to start building an arc in my back yard because the rain would not let up," she laughed and he joined her. "So, you never really told me why you are taking that snore-fest Foreign Policy class." she said.
"I don't know, I guess I thought it might be interesting," he said. "Someone told me that the professor gave interesting lectures."
"Whoever told you that must have had you at the very top of their death-wish list, because I have never been in a more boring class in my life," she grinned, but when she saw his face, her smile quickly disappeared. "I'm sorry, but did I just say something wrong?"
Andrew grinned sheepishly, "No, you didn't."
"I thought for a minute that I had offended you, because you looked a bit, oh what's the word?" she said and after a few moments, the final word emerged. "Shocked!"
Andrew shrugged his shoulders and walked with her towards the Student Center.
Once inside, Brenda bought them each a cup of coffee and eventually came over and joined him. "Here, I didn't know if you liked cream or sugar in yours, so I grabbed a handful of both."
"Thank you," he said as she sat down. "So how was the rehearsal?"
"It went really well," she began. "We read through the first three scenes and most of the characters have been found. It was funny, because I never thought I'd get to play the role of an angel."
Andrew smiled and began to stir his coffee with a spoon before taking a sip.
"I mean, Andrea is really cool," she said and her expression grew somewhat sad. "I sometimes wish there was someone like her that could talk to my parents."
"You're still dealing with that, aren't you?" he asked.
"Yeah, even though today was nice, I just can't hide these feelings away as though it don't exist. No matter how many times I read this script, or play this part, I will always know that I'm not Andrea, but simply Brenda Martinson, a complete and total coward."
"You're not a coward, Brenda," he said gently. "Maybe in doing this role, you will discover that you're not as you perceive."
"How do you know? I mean you don't really know me all that well," she said weakly.
"Well, the person I know so far is very nice, and I've been told that I have a pretty good understanding of others," he said taking a sip of his coffee.
"Did you know that the only place where I can practice these lines is at the library or in the theater hall? Even if it goes well, I will need outside time to work on this, and I can't do it at home because my parents would flip a gasket. I sometimes think this play is only going to get me into even more trouble than I already am in."
"That or it will make you stronger," he said smiling. "I have an idea. If you need to work on this and would like to, then why don't we get together after class Monday. My apartment isn't too far away, and you can work on the lines there."
"Why are you wanting to help me with this?" she asked softly.
"Because, I think you'd do a wonderful job with the role, and it would be a terrible disappointment if you weren't to do it," he smiled gently. "But, you know you will eventually have to tell your parents the truth, Brenda. You can't always run and hide."
"Sometimes, I wish I could," she whispered staring down at her cup.
"I know, but they will eventually have to accept you as you are," Andrew said.
"Like you do," she whispered softly, and glanced up only slightly.
Andrew smiled gently, said nothing, but continued drinking his coffee.
*****
Monday afternoon, Brenda and Andrew met after their class was over and they walked in the direction of Andrew's apartment. "How was your weekend?" he asked as they made their way through the park that separated the campus from the apartment complex.
"It was OK, my dad wanted me to go to another of his stupid seminars," she said. "I was thinking about bringing a pillow and blanket with me."
"What was it about?" he asked.
"Constitutional Law," she said as she gave him an expression of someone who had just swallowed burnt toast. "It was so boring, and my dad, he was acting like it was the best thing since they invented sliced bread. I thought it was a waste of a perfectly good Saturday, but of course, he was so thrilled with it. I sometimes think I was adopted, because I'm nothing at all like either of my parents." She smiled weakly.
Andrew looked at her. "But, you're doing better now, right?"
"Yeah, I guess so. I know it all sounds like a joke, but it's how things seem to be going," she said.
He pulled the key out of his pocket when they reached the building where he lived. She followed him to the door, and once he opened it, they went inside and he closed the door behind them. "Do you want anything, a cup of tea, perhaps?"
"Sure, that sounds great," she said. "I'm kind of tired, so maybe the caffeine will wake me up a little. I have to be awake anyway, because tonight I have rehearsal."
"OK," he said cheerfully and went into the kitchen.
Brenda took out her script and began to read through the section she had rehearsed Friday afternoon.
Within moments, he returned with the two cups and sat down on the sofa next to her. "You just going to read it to yourself or don't you want to rehearse your part? My friend left a copy of the script here if you want to have a guinea pig to practice with."
Brenda smiled the surprise evident in her eyes, "I didn't think you would want to do so much to help me with this, but OK, if it's not any trouble for you."
"Not at all," he smiled and reached for a stack of magazines that were on the table. Underneath them was a copy of the script and he opened it. "OK, what page are we on?"
"I guess page three, where Andrea and Vivian are talking about Theodore," she said.
"OK, I've found it. Just tell me when I should start," he said.
"You can anytime," she said and after a few moments, Andrew began to read the role for Vivian.
"You said that Theodore is a young college student, Andrea, and as far as I know he hasn't much hope for the future," Andrew started. "He's at the point in his life which indicates that he is more or less stuck at a crossroads. He wants to do one thing and feels drawn by others to do something else."
"I know that he is suicidal, Vivian, I can tell by looking at him. The spark isn't in his eyes any longer, and the Father sent me here as a stand-by because He has considered what that boy might try to do to himself," Brenda said, her voice becoming softer as she spoke.
"I'm supposed to take his case, but I don't yet know how to get him to talk to me," Andrew continued.
"I can do nothing to persuade him either way, he has free will, but it would break my heart to have to take him home. He's so young and headstrong," Brenda said. "Sometimes those are the hardest people to work with. They succeed in completely shutting out what God has in store for them, making their cases all the more difficult and their belief in us is no longer there."
"What are you saying, that you wish you were still a Caseworker?" Andrew asked.
"I don't know, I haven't done this job very long, and sometimes I wish I could go to them and tell them the truth, but at the same time, I know I cannot. Theodore has to make the decision and I cannot interfere, but sometimes I wish that I could. It is at moments like this that being an Angel of Death isn't everything that it's cracked up to be," Brenda said with a sigh.
"No, I would guess it isn't," he said and smiled secretly.
"So what are you going to do to help him?"
"I have to start working as a nurse for his mother," Andrew began. "She had a stroke about a year ago, and is very dependent on her son. I am not sure if she's part of the problem or if she is just unaware about what is happening with him, but being in the house might help me understand what is happening with Theodore."
"Do you think that part of the problem might have something to do with his relationship with his mother?" Brenda asked as she put the script down on her lap.
"Could be, it's hard to tell for sure," he said and put the script on the coffee table.
Brenda smiled. "This is really going to be a wonderful play. Thank you so much for helping me with it."
He smiled and took a sip of his tea. "I really don't mind; it's a lot of fun. Would you like to try another part of the dialogue?" he asked.
"Maybe I should, I mean although Andrea is present throughout the play, her major parts are this scene with Vivian, a few spots throughout, and then near the end when she must comfort Theodore."
"Well, let's give that a try," he said. "I'll read Theodore's part."
"OK," she said and flipped through her script until she found the page.
"Who are you?" he began to read the role.
"My name is Andrea," she said.
"But how did you get in here?"
"I am an angel, Theodore, I was sent from God to help you. I know you're frightened right now, but you're never alone, because God would not leave you. He loves you more than you could possibly imagine, but it hurts Him when you think about ending your life before you discover your own path. That path, like you, is unique and special and I was sent here to tell you that God understands the pain you feel far more than you think, and that if you ask Him to help you cope with it, then it will become easier because He will carry you through."
"I've never really believed in Him."
"He knows, and although you haven't, He is still there for you, and will help you. All you have to do is ask Him for the help," Brenda said, and for some reason, she began to get nervous and broke out of her role and looked at him helplessly.
"Is everything OK?" Andrew asked her gently when he saw her face.
"I don't know if I can do this," she whispered shaking her head. "I know for a fact that I'm not really an angel and the way I read that just now sounded like I was being arrogant."
"In this play, you are an angel, Brenda, and it has nothing to do with arrogance," he said gently. "You're a wonderful actress, but this is just a role you're playing, so give it another try."
"OK," she closed her eyes and after a few moments, she opened them again when Andrew's voice began to read Theodore's lines again.
"How does someone like me ask God for help?"
"You pray, and ask Him to be with you through it all. I will do whatever I can to help you. For that reason, He sent me to be with you and help you through this," Brenda took a deep breath. "All you have to do ask Him for His guidance."
"Am I going to live, Andrea?"
"I don't know, how much do you want to?" she asked.
"Things aren't easy right now, I mean, all I have are problems. My mom is really sick, and she's always angry about things. I know that Vivian is there to take care of her, but that doesn't take the pressure off of me. I thought I didn't have any other choice."
"You always have a choice, Theodore, but if you want to live, then you should fight the effect those pills will have on your body. The strength you need is there for you, all you have to do is believe that God will help you in that fight."
"It's not so easy," he said.
"That's why you have to ask Him for His guidance," Brenda said softly and laid the script down and rubbed her eyes.
"Tired?" he asked.
"A little, this takes a lot out of me," she said honestly.
"Why is that?"
"Because I feel like I'm in some sort of role reversal and should be speaking the part of Theodore. I mean, the more I read this part, the less willing I am to even consider suicide, but at the same time, I can feel his hopelessness in his situation, because it reminds me too much of what I'm going through with my parents."
"It really is so hard?" he asked.
She nodded sighing sadly. "I wish they would look at me and tell me they are proud of what I'm doing, instead they call it 'nonsense'."
Andrew looked at her, his compassionate eyes never faltering. "You're doing a wonderful job with this, Brenda."
"I just don't know when I will be able to tell my parents about all of this, or how long I will be able to keep it a secret," she sighed deeply and ran her hand through her long brown hair. "I do share one similarity with Andrea."
"What's that?" he asked.
"I won't lie to my parents about what I'm doing," she said and looked down at the script. "I think this thing is changing my entire mind about everything, but it's so hard."
"Life is not supposed to always be easy, Brenda," he said softly. "These challenges will help to make you stronger."
"I know but I seem to get more than my share here," she sighed deeply and looked up at him. "You're the first real friend I've met at this crummy college. I mean most of the drama people I went to high school with, but I've never really had a chance to meet other students here, much less to have someone talk to me, and not think that I'm really a basket case." She paused as she reached for the script. "I guess I'd better go, I have rehearsal tonight, but also need to do some readings for one of my other classes," she said softly and looked down at her watch.
"OK," he said and smiled.
"Can we get together again?" She asked.
"Sure, whenever you like," he smiled as she stood up and reached for her jacket.
"I really appreciate your help, Andrew, you're a real friend," she smiled weakly as she left the apartment.
*****
It was late when Brenda came home, she had been at the rehearsal and was smiling as she walked through the front door. What she did not expect to see were her parents waiting up for her and neither of them looked particularly happy.
"Where on earth have you been?" her father thundered as she came inside and closed the door.
"I was at a theater rehearsal," she said softly. "I'm sorry I didn't call, but things were going rather quickly and I couldn't get away."
"What do you mean, theater rehearsal?" her mother asked.
"I accepted another role, and was at practice, Mom," she said softly. "We have rehearsals every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday night, that's why I'm late, and that's what I wanted to tell you."
"And what about the seminars?" her father asked.
"I won't be able to attend any seminars on those nights, is all, I'm sorry Dad," she said. "I don't want to upset you, but this play is very important to me and I really want to do it. There are a lot of people counting on me."
"Your mother and I have done everything we could to arrange for you to attend these seminars, Brenda," he said evenly. "I had to pull a lot of strings to get you accepted into them, and I don't appreciate you going behind our backs."
"These seminars aren't even about me, they are about you and Mom. I don't want to be a lawyer, I want to be an actress, I want to work in a theater group and entertain people. You know I've wanted to do that since I was a little girl."
"You want to live off the street," he said evenly.
"No, I want to do what I love without being under anymore pressure." She looked at her parents the tears beginning to stream down her cheeks. "I want you to be proud of me, but not for what you want me to do, but what I want to do. My acting is a part of my soul, it's something I love."
"If you insist on going into this dramatic nonsense, then you will not get any further help from neither myself nor your mother. If you don't drop out of the play, you will move out and make a life for yourself without our help. However, if you want to continue your education, then you will study law, and be grateful for the chance that we're giving you," he said, his eyes bearing down on her. "This is the end of the discussion, make your choice."
Brenda could feel the tears beginning to stream down her cheeks as she ran out of the room, up the stairs, and left her parents standing in the living room.
"Do you think she'll come to her senses?" Marjorie asked her husband.
"I don't know," he replied. "She will have to eventually realize that we are doing this for her own good."
Moments later, Brenda came down the stairs with a suitcase in her hand, and her backpack hanging from her shoulders. She looked at her parents, her eyes filling with tears. "I don't want anything from either of you, except to make my own decisions about my life. If you cannot accept what I want to be, then I will go and try to make something of it without your help."
With that, she stepped outside, closed the door, and walked towards the bus stop. As soon as she reached the street, someone called her name and she turned around and looked up to see that Monica was coming towards her. "Hi Brenda, what's up?"
"I just got kicked out, Monica, so I'm going to see if I can stay with a friend of mine," she whispered.
"What happened?" the angel asked gently.
"My parents," she shook her head, the tears still streaming down her cheeks and she wiped them stubbornly away. "I told them about the play, and they basically said that if I do anything other than what they want, then they won't help me. They said either I quit the play or they would kick me out, so I chose the play. I couldn't live much longer there. They expect me to do something I hate."
Monica rested her hand on Brenda's shoulder, "come on, let's go get a cup of coffee and have a little talk."
Nodding numbly, Brenda followed.
*****
Ten minutes later, Monica and Brenda were sitting in a café, both of them holding the handles to their cups of coffee. "Now tell me what happened."
Brenda shook her head. "What's there to tell? I came home after rehearsal and my father flipped out because I was late. I should have known that I couldn't have pulled off doing the play without them finding out."
"You wouldn't have been able to keep the truth from them. I think you know that," Monica said sympathetically.
"I know," Brenda said as she stirred the coffee in her cup.
"Then they really do disapprove of you acting, don't they?" Monica asked.
"Yeah, they drag me to all these boring seminars, and make me take classes that I hate so that I could get a degree in something I despise so that I could go on to law school and become just like them," she paused as she looked at Monica. "The trouble is, a lot of people would give their right eye for this kind of thing, but I hate law. The last thing I would ever want to do professionally would be to work as a lawyer. I want to be an actress, and I want to learn all that there is to know about the theater," she said softly, "but they won't give me the chance."
"Do you need a place to stay?" Monica asked gently.
"I don't know, maybe. One of my friends lives nearby and I thought I could ask him to help me out. Anyway, he's the one who said that I should tell them the truth, so I tried, and now everything has completely collapsed with my parents." She looked into the sympathetic brown eyes of the angel. "Monica, I want to do the play more than anything, I really do, but if my father refuses to pay for the semester, then I won't even be a student here any longer and I won't be able to do anything associated with the college at all."
"Let me see what I can do to help, OK?" Monica said gently. "Don't give up, Brenda, we will find a way to help you."
"Thanks," she said listlessly, her long brown hair hanging down over her face. She took a sip of the coffee and sighed deeply. "I guess I should get going before it gets too late," she said softly as she stood up and reached for the suitcase she carried. "I have to find a place to spend the night and my friends probably won't appreciate me ringing their bell close to midnight."
"Will you be OK?" Monica asked.
"I don't know anymore, but I think so," she said and walked slowly outside of the café.
Once she was gone, Tess appeared and looked at Monica. "How did it go?"
"It's a messy situation, Tess, and the trouble doesn't lie with Brenda, but with her parents," Monica said softly. "I saw everything that happened to her, her father has the personality of a drill sergeant. Brenda's mother won't say anything about this, and only seems to carry this attitude because of her father."
"I know Angel Girl," Tess said softly.
"Where will she go?" Monica asked weakly.
"She's going to see Andrew," Tess said gently. "Don't worry Miss Wings, Andrew will help her."
"I hope he can," Monica said.
"Hey, what happened to having faith in our Angel Boy? If anyone can help her, it will be Andrew," Tess said confidently. "They play the same roles, only Brenda doesn't know that yet. He will help her, don't you worry."
Monica sighed and nodded, but it was clear to Tess that she was worried.
*****
Andrew was sitting on the sofa that evening. He had been reading through the textbook for the US Foreign Policy class and after some time of reading it, he sighed deeply. This stuff really was boring, and his thoughts turned to Brenda. He could understand why the young woman hated that class; it was so unlike her bubbly and happy personality.
Oddly, he had been thinking about the girl almost the entire evening. He was wondering how she was doing with the rehearsal, especially now because he had gotten the word that something bad had happened to her at home and that she had packed her things left. He sighed sadly as he looked down at the script that was on the coffee table. Unlike many of the assignments he had had in the past, the situation, which Brenda had described, was definitely not exaggerated.
As he thumbed through the notebook, the doorbell rang and he stood up to go answer it. When he opened the door, he could see Brenda standing on the other side and he released a sigh of relief when he saw her.
"Brenda?" He spoke her name as though it was a question.
"Can I come in?" She asked weakly.
"Of course you can," he said compassionately and reached for the suitcase she carried. With this in his hand, he backed away from the doorway and made room so that she could enter the apartment.
Once she had come inside, he closed the door, turned around and could see her tearstained face. "What happened?"
Rather than answer his question, she shook her head sadly as the tears continued to stream down her cheeks. As they did, she tried unsuccessfully to wipe her trembling hand over her face, and brush them away.
"Come and sit down," he said gently, took her arm, and led her over to the couch.
Once she sat down, she looked at him. "I-I'm sorry to bother you, but I didn't know where else to go."
"That's OK, I'm glad you came here," he said gently. "Now, tell me what happened."
Brenda began to speak, her voice shaking. "I came home tonight after rehearsal. I was feeling really good about the play and everything else seemed to be going OK. Then I got home and my parents were up waiting for me. They demanded to know where I was and I told them that I had gone to rehearsal. My father got mad and said that as long as I was doing theater stuff that he wouldn't help fund my education, and that I should accept law school as a generous gift." She shook her head. "I tried to tell them the truth about how I felt, but they wouldn’t listen and they said either I quit the play or they would throw me out. I made the choice and went upstairs and packed my things."
"They really are so unapproachable, huh?" he asked gently.
"They called what I wanted to do, 'nonsense' and said that I would be working off the street," she whispered. "I tried to be honest with them. I told them that it was part of my heart and soul to do this and they scoffed at it. Oh, Andrew, what am I going to do? I have never felt as hopeless as I do right now."
Andrew wrapped his arms around her and held her gently. "Everything will be OK, Brenda, you have to believe in that."
"No, you don't understand, if my parents take me out of the college, then I won't be able to do the play at all," she looked at him, her frightened eyes filling with tears.
"We'll find a way, Brenda," he said taking her hand and squeezing it gently. "Even if I have to take the money out of my own pocket, we will find a way. I'm your friend, I'll support you in any way I can, I think you know that," he said gently. He reached over took her face in his hands and made her look him in the eyes. "You're going to do the play, Brenda, just promise me, that you'll concentrate on that and try not to worry too much about all these other things that are weighing heavily on you."
"You're the best friend I've ever had," she said through her tears.
"And you are mine," he said gently and looked at his watch as he stood up. "It's very late, and I think we could both use a little bit of rest. Let me show you your room."
She stood up as he reached for the suitcase and carried it down the hall to the guest bedroom. Once he brought it into the room, she followed him and after he placed it on a dresser, he turned around. "The bathroom is right across the hall, and if you need anything specific, just let me know, OK?"
"Thank you," she said softly wrapping her arms around him and holding tightly to him. "I don't know what I would have done without you."
Andrew smiled as the young woman hugged him. Once he raised his arms to return the gesture, he smiled weakly. "Don't worry, everything will be OK, Brenda."
"You're not angry that I came?" she asked weakly.
"No, I'm not angry," he said smiling sadly, but silently he began to pray. Thank you, Father for leading her here. She came to me when her life was the most difficult, so perhaps she has not completely given up hope, and maybe this will have a happy ending. He smiled as he ran his hand gently through her hair. "I'm glad you felt secure enough to come here."
"You're an angel, Andrew, maybe you should have gotten that role instead of me," she said softly.
As their hug loosened, he smiled gently down at her. "Get some rest, Brenda, tomorrow, everything will look a little bit better for you."
"I don't know if it will, or if I will even be able to sleep," she said softly.
"Do you want to talk some more?" he asked gently.
She looked down at the floor and shook her head.
Andrew smiled reassuringly at her. "Then try to get some rest, and if you need anything, just call me, OK?"
She nodded numbly and once he had left the room, she sat down on the bed, rested her head in her hands, and began to cry bitterly.
*****
The following morning, Brenda awoke, she had slept pretty well, and although she was a little disoriented after waking up because she did not immediately recognize the room she was in, but as she opened her eyes, she heard Andrew out in the hall and he was knocking on her door.
"Yeah?" she offered weakly.
"Breakfast is ready," he called from the hall.
She crawled out of bed and quickly got dressed in a sweatshirt and jeans. Her hair was ruffled when she emerged from her room some moments later, but when she came into the living room, she noticed that he had a pot of coffee ready as well as two plates filled with scrambled eggs and hash browns on the table. She patted her hair into place and sat down. "Hi," she said softly.
"How'd you sleep?" he asked.
"OK, when I wasn't thinking about all the stuff that's been happening," she sighed deeply. "I guess I'd better go to the financial aid department this morning and see what my options are. Would you come with me, or do you have to be in class?"
"No, I'll come with you," he said.
"Thanks I could use some moral support. Anyway, I did make some decisions last night. I figure that since the semester just started, I'm going to drop the US Foreign Policy and take Creative Writing instead," she said. "My parents don't know this, but part of my schooling has been paid through a theater scholarship that I got last year, and if I drop a class or two, and move to part-time status, then I can work at the library and maybe get my own place."
"You seemed to have thought a lot about this last night," he smiled at her.
"I guess I'd been thinking about it since I took the role of Andrea." She sighed sadly. "I never believed that I only had one option, but still it would be nice if my parents were to look at me and say 'this is our daughter, Brenda, and we're very proud of her for being what she is'. I guess that's just wishful thinking, though," she said and took a sip of the coffee that he had poured and placed in front of her.
"Why didn't you try to do this earlier?" Andrew asked.
"I don't know, I told you the day after we met that I'm the world's biggest coward, now you have your proof," she said sadly. "I guess I wanted to tell them, but I was scared. I had been thinking about it since last semester, but never had the courage to do anything about it. It's rather ironic, because as long as I did something with the drama department each semester, I would actually have something to look forward to each week. This semester, I signed up for 'Theater Costume Design', and I was lucky that my parents didn't speak openly of their objections to it. I guess they figured that I would only be there three hours a week and wasn't directly involved with the play, so it was a small compromise for them. Anyway, the real reason I did it was so that my scholarship would pay. Now, I have to go to the financial aid advisor's office, and explain all this to her. She's pretty nice, so maybe she'll be able to help me."
"I suppose you realized that you always have options," he said.
"Yeah, but even knowing that doesn't solve the biggest problem I have right now," she said softly.
"And what's that?" he asked.
"I have to find a place to live," she said shaking her head. "I can't continue to live off your hospitality, and I would really like to get a place of my own. But, I don't have any money, and I feel a little bit stranded."
"Then you can stay here until you have the money for your own place," he said smiling gently at her.
"You don't mind?" she asked weakly.
"No, besides, that's what friends are for," he said simply.
"Are you sure?" she asked. "I mean; I really do feel bad about this, but the truth is, I don't even have the money to buy a pound of coffee. My parents had everything and they basically wanted me to be dependent on them. I don't want you to think that I'm just living off your generosity. That would make me feel awful."
"Listen, Brenda, I know you have to learn to stand on your own two feet and to do for yourself. I'm only here to help you do that, and I realize that when the time comes, you'll be able to support and do for yourself. Let's face it, everyone needs to start somewhere, and what kind of friend would I be to turn my back on you and walk away when you need that support the most?" he said smiling. "You're taking your life into your own hands, and that takes a certain amount of courage."
"After we go to the financial aid office, I'll go by the library and see if that job is still open. I may not earn too much with it, but at least I can buy food," she said smiling weakly.
"That sounds like a good start," he said. "But, we have to rehearse your lines somewhere in the course of this busy day."
"Why do you want me to do this so much?" she asked.
"Because, I happen to know that you're going to do very well with it, but that's only if you practice," he said. "You like the role, right?"
"Yeah, OK, but if I ever win an award for this role, then you'll be the first person I'll thank."
He smiled. "That's all anyone could hope for."
*****
An hour and a half later, Brenda was seated in the hallway outside of the financial aid office. She held her updated class schedule in her hands. Andrew had gone down the hall to take care of something and she waited alone. So much for moral support, she mused to herself, but smiled because even though he was not with her, somehow she realized that this was something she would have to do on her own. She understood that she could not go from depending solely on her parents to depending on Andrew.
"Miss Martinson," her name was called and she went into the office where her advisor was seated. The middle aged redhead sat behind a desk and she smiled warmly as Brenda came in and closed the door. Once she sat down in a chair on the opposite side of the desk, she glanced up and her eyes met those of the advisor. "I have some news for you, Brenda," the advisor said gently once the young woman had gotten comfortable. "Your father called this morning, he stopped payment for your classes."
"I know, that's why I'm here," Brenda said softly. "Nothing he does surprises me anymore."
"What can I do for you?" the advisor asked sympathetically.
"I want to go to part time status, as well as apply for a student loan. I have a scholarship through the theater arts department, but I don't think it will cover all the fees and right now, I'm broke."
"Would you care to explain what happened?" The advisor asked.
"How much time do you have?" she asked wryly.
"All the time you need," the advisor replied.
"My parents wanted me to go to law school, Mrs. Hudson," Brenda began. "I want to pursue a degree in Drama. My father said, that either I give up the play that I'm going to be in and pursue Law, or I would have to move out and support myself. I moved in with a friend of mine last night because he fed me this ultimatum. That's the reason he called here and stopped payment on my tuition," she paused and took a deep breath. "I have no control over what he does and I am no longer living at home, or getting support from my family."
"You seem awfully calm about all of this," the advisor said.
"I have to be, internally I've never been so scared in my life, but I have to try," she said. "So is there any possible way for you to get me a loan?"
"No, I'm afraid there isn't. You see, Brenda, as long as you can get help through your parents, then that's the option we have to take," the advisor said. "Aside from that, most lending agencies would not accept family misunderstandings as adequate ground to approve a student loan."
"Please, Mrs. Hudson, this is important, I have to continue my education, and without my parents supporting me, it simply won't happen. When I leave here, I'm going to the county library to see about getting a part-time job. But, right now I'm broke, and I can't pay anything."
"I'm sorry, Brenda, there's nothing this office can do," the advisor said. "This is something that will have to be taken care of between you and your parents."
Brenda stood up. "How much will my scholarship cover?"
The advisor looked into the computer and after a few moments she looked back up at her. "It will barely cover the basic fees that all students have to pay."
As she finished speaking someone knocked at the door and Andrew stuck his head inside the room. "Excuse me for interrupting," he said softly and looked at Brenda.
When the girl couldn't meet his gaze, he came into the office. "What happened?" he asked gently. He reached out to touch her arm, but she quickly brushed by him and left the office. Once she had left the office, Andrew was left standing alone and looking at the woman who was seated at the desk in complete confusion.
"Are you a friend of hers?" The advisor finally asked.
"Yes, could you please tell me what happened?" he asked.
"I couldn't give her any information about a loan," she sighed deeply. "As much as I would have liked to have helped her, my hands are tied and there's nothing I can do. Brenda's scholarship barely covers the nominal fees that all students must pay, and her father stopped payment on her tuition. Without the other 14 hundred dollars, she will lose everything, her scholarship included."
"And you can't do anything?"
"No, I can't," the woman's voice suddenly became indignant. "The only option that I see is that Brenda needs to talk to her parents about this and try to resolve it."
Andrew shook his head sadly. "The only way that would happen would be for her to give up everything that she loves. No one has the right to expect that of her." After a pause, he looked at her. "Who do I need to see to take care of this?"
"What do you mean?" the woman asked.
"Exactly what I just asked. Who must I see in order to take care of this outstanding balance?" he asked, his voice firm and his eyes never leaving the advisor's face.
"You'd have to go to the cashiers office on the first floor."
"Thank you," Andrew said, and as he was about to leave the office, he turned around and faced her one last time. "Please keep her file open until the end of the day."
The woman nodded as the angel left.
*****
As soon as Brenda had come out into the hallway, she began to run for the doors that would lead outside. Her face was streaked with tears, and she could barely see where she was going. As she came outside, she nearly ran into Tess, who was coming in the opposite direction.
"Brenda, what's wrong, honey?" the kindly angel asked and took Brenda's hand in hers and squeezed it reassuringly.
"I can't do the play, Tess," she whispered sadly.
"Of course you can, come with me, I think you need to calm down a little bit," Tess said. "How many cups of coffee did you drink this morning?"
"One," Brenda sniffed and looked into the dark eyes of the woman who was now speaking with her. "They're going to kick me out of school, Tess."
"OK, now let start this story from the beginning. You tell ol' Tess everything, and I'll see what I can do to help you out," she offered the girl a sympathetic smile.
Brenda nodded and once they had reached a large open area, they sat down under a tree and the young woman began to tell the angel everything that had happened. "I went to financial aid with my friend, Andrew, and my father stopped payment on everything. I don't have a penny to my name, and even if I went to work at the library, it wouldn't cover the tuition costs. I mean they are barely able to pay minimum wage." The tears rolled down her cheeks as she finished telling Tess about everything that had transpired.
"I see, well, maybe your friend will be able to help you with this," Tess said knowing full well that Andrew had gone to pay the tuition bill as they were speaking.
"I don't want to ask him for help, he's been so kind to me during the last few days, and I can't expect that of him," she said wiping the sleeve of her sweatshirt over her eyes.
"Didn't it occur to you that maybe he wants to help you?" Tess asked. "Sometimes people learn how to cope with life's little disappointments through the help of their friends. Maybe as grateful as you are to him for helping you with this, he has the reward of having done something kind and generous for you and is probably very grateful for the opportunity."
"I never thought of it that way," she said softly, "but we're talking about over 14 hundred dollars."
"It is a lot of money, but seeing you stand on your own two feet is worth more than 14 thousand dollars to your friend. Just keep that in mind," Tess said gently. "You're going to do the play, regardless of what happens. The college might throw you out, but ol' Tess won't do that to you, and you have my word on that."
"Thank you," she said softly and hugged the angel. "If you only knew how important this is to me."
"Oh I do know baby. With the heart and soul you have put into Andrea's character, she's almost like a real angel," Tess said gently as Andrew came outside, spotted them, and smiled when he saw Brenda speaking with Tess.
"Yeah, almost," she paused for a moment before continuing. "I guess I'd better get to the library and see if they have that opening." She smiled weakly and walked slowly away.
As soon as Brenda was gone, Andrew came over to Tess.
"Did you get that little girl's stuff taken care of?" Tess asked.
Andrew's eyes sparkled mischievously as he nodded. "I was informed that I should not do this in my own name, so I introduced myself to them as the president of 'AOD Incorporated', and that Brenda has been selected as this year's scholarship winner."
Tess laughed out loud, "oh, Angel Boy, I think we need to cast you in that play."
Andrew smirked, "it would be fun to take part, but I had to use that name because I think Brenda is afraid to accept too much help from me. She already feels badly about having to live at the apartment and not having any money to help with it."
"You're right, and the Father did instruct you well with that," Tess said smiling.
"Well, it wasn't a lie, since the AOD in the name does in fact mean 'Angel of Death', but she doesn't know that," he smiled, but his face became serious when he looked at Tess. "Is she going to be OK?"
"I think so, but she's really worried," Tess said.
"What about her parents?" Andrew asked. "Isn't there any way to bring this family back together?"
"The Father says we have to wait on going to see them, and I am certain that our assignment is Brenda, and the only thing we can do in regards to her parents is to send them tickets before the play opens," Tess shook her head.
"Do you think they'd come?" Andrew asked.
Tess shook her head sadly. "I don't know, but if they do, they will have no choice but to admit that their little girl has talent."
Andrew smiled. "Oh well, I guess I'd better go catch up with her, we're going to practice with her script again this afternoon after she gets done at the library."
"Are you eventually going to tell her the truth?" Monica asked as she appeared next to them and smiled at Andrew.
"I will but only after the play closes," he said. "I think it might embarrass her to know the truth right now."
Monica nodded with a smile. "I can imagine."
Tess smiled at her two angel babies. "OK, then we'll see you later. Come on Miss Wings, it's lunch time."
Andrew was left standing and once he sent a prayer up to God, he started walking in the direction he had seen Brenda going after she had spoken to Tess.
*****
At the same time, Brenda opened the door of the library and went inside. She carried a copy of her resume in her hand, and when she saw the old woman who ran the county library she smiled and approached the check out counter. "Hello, Mrs. Wheeler."
"Brenda, what brings you by, hon?"
"I was wondering if the Library Assistant job was still open," she said.
"As a matter of fact, it is," Cathy Wheeler said with a smile.
"I'd like to apply for it, if that's OK?" Brenda asked.
"You don't have to apply, hon; I already told you that you could work here if you wanted to. However, the pay isn't all that great, and you'd only be able to work on afternoons from four till six," Cathy said gently. "Aside from that, I can only offer you minimum wage, and no benefits."
"It's OK, I'll just have to pray that I don't get sick," Brenda said softly.
At that moment, Andrew came inside and walked over to where she was. "Hi, Brenda, is everything alright?"
"Sure, Andrew, this is Mrs. Wheeler, my new boss," Brenda said.
Andrew smiled and nodded, but excused himself and went over to an empty table and sat down, allowing them the privacy of planning Brenda's work schedule.
Ten minutes later, she came over to the table and smiled weakly as she sat down next to him. "I only get ten hours a week, but it's better than nothing and the hours will probably increase after the semester is over."
"How do you feel about it?" Andrew asked.
"OK, but what am I going to do the rest of the time? Tess told me that I could do the play, but my tuition isn't paid up and there's no way I can get a loan," she said. "I'm loosing far more than just the scholarship, I sometimes feel like I'm loosing my mind. Maybe I should have dropped out of the play and stayed home." She shook her head sadly.
"Listen to me. I know you weren't happy before and at least now you can do what it is you want. I know that getting started is hard, but you will succeed," he said smiling reassuringly at her.
"You don't mind having a roommate?" she asked weakly.
"Not if you don't," he smiled. "Come on, I'm hungry, and I could use a cheeseburger. My treat."
"You've done so much for me already, and now you want to buy me a burger, too," she said shaking her head sadly.
"When you get your first paycheck, then you can treat me to a cheeseburger," he smiled and offered her his hand. "Agreed?"
Rather than accept his outstretched hand, she stood up and hugged him in response to his words.
"I take it you agree?" he asked as she broke the embrace with him and began to collect her belongings.
As she did so, she nodded. "I agree." After she had collected everything, she turned and waved at the librarian, as they were about to leave. "I'll see you tomorrow, Mrs. Wheeler."
"OK, hon, I'll see you then," the woman said as she and Andrew left.
Once they came outside, Brenda smiled weakly. "Considering everything that's happened today, I'm actually feeling pretty good."
"That's good," Andrew said and pulled a slip of paper out of his pocket. "I need to talk to you about something. You probably weren't aware of this, but after you left the financial aid office, I went upstairs to the cashier's office and found out that you have won another scholarship."
"That's not possible, I didn't apply for one," she said.
"Maybe someone else put your name in for it. People do that sometimes, you know," he said smiling as they made their way inside a small café and both were seated at a table.
"Who would?" she asked.
He shrugged his shoulders. "Maybe someone saw your performance at last semester's play and were really impressed with it. Anyway, your tuition is taken care of, Brenda, you can remain full time student, and not have to worry about that."
"I don't understand how this could happen." She paused and looked at him. "How do you know about all of this?"
"Well, I have to admit something, I went there with the intention of helping you out," he said softly.
"I wish you hadn't," she said softly.
"Why is it so hard for you to accept that I want to help you?" he asked.
She shook her head sadly, "I don't know, maybe because I have this idea that you think I'm some pathetic looser."
He smiled at her as he took her hand and squeezed it gently. "I don't. Besides, what I wanted to tell you was that even if I did want to help, I was too late, because someone else had already taken care of it." He glanced gratefully skyward for a few seconds and then back at her. "Look at this letter, Brenda, it will explain everything."
As he slid the letter across the table, she looked down at the letterhead for what appeared to be a large company. "AOD Incorporated?" she asked weakly.
"Mm-hum," he nodded.
"I can't believe it," she felt the tears in her eyes once she had read the letter. "Andrew, they took care of all of it, even the health insurance. I wish I knew who they were, so I could thank them properly."
"I think they already know, Brenda," he smiled.
She ran her hand over the letter and once she held it, she clutched it to her chest and smiled, the relief evident in her eyes. "Thank you God," she whispered under her breath. "I'm finding my way, not only with my life, but also back to you." When she opened her eyes and looked at the angel seated across from her, she sighed deeply. "I'm sorry if I seemed so angry about you trying to help me. The truth is, I've never had a friend who wanted to do so much for me, and it kind of feels weird for me to accept the help without giving something in return."
He squeezed her hand gently. "My thanks would be that you give your all when that play opens, Brenda."
She nodded and with tears in her eyes, she spoke. "I'll do my best."
*****
The weeks passed quickly and as Brenda became more versed in her role as Andrea. She and Andrew found themselves rehearsing each evening when she did not have rehearsal in the theater hall. She was having as much fun rehearsing with the Drama Club as she was with Andrew, and he had a gentility about him that reminded her often of the character she portrayed, but she never mentioned this to him.
The hardest part with the role was to come one evening about a month before the play was scheduled to open. On this particular evening, she would have to put the script aside and add the motions to the character she portrayed. The more she recited the lines of her character, the more she realized how little confidence she had when it came to what she would do with her stage movements. Although the stage directions were there, she was unable to make any of her motions appear natural. She was hopeful that Andrew could help her with that.
As they finished eating, Andrew stood up and she followed suit. "I guess we'd better get busy with this," she said.
"OK," he shoved the coffee table up against the wall and smiled. "Are you ready?"
"I guess so," she said softly.
"Let's start where Andrea tells Theodore who she is," Andrew suggested.
Brenda nodded and cleared her throat. "I am an angel, Theodore, I was sent from God to help you. I know you're frightened right now, but you're never alone, because God would not leave you. He loves you more than you could possibly imagine, but it hurts Him when you think about ending your life before you discover your own path. That path, like you, is unique and special and I was sent here to tell you that God understands the pain you feel far more than you think, and that if you ask Him to help you cope with it, then it will become easier because He will carry you through." She broke out of character and looked at him. "I'm stuck here because it says that he's on his bed and that Andrea is supposed to come over and somehow comfort him, but I don't know how to make that look believable. I guess, I could hug him or something, but that would probably look fake or inappropriate. Do you have any ideas?"
Andrew smiled weakly as she sat down on the floor next to him. "You're right, a hug is not really the right thing. I think he's afraid of her, and sometimes less contact is more empowering." He paused before continuing. "Why don't you start by putting your hand on my shoulder?"
Brenda did as he instructed, her hand resting on his right shoulder.
"Make it as light as you can, like a feather as it drifts onto the floor," he said and once her touch became softer he nodded. "Yes, that's good. Make your movements and gestures light and flowing as though you're moving in slow motion or through water. After all, how many angels do you know of who move like elephants?"
She smiled and nodded as he continued. "OK, now, try the line again, and as you speak, come over to where I am on the floor and rest your hand on my shoulder exactly as you did just now."
Brenda nodded and as she recited the line, she walked slowly over to him, got down on her knees, and rested her hand on his shoulder exactly as he instructed.
"How was that?" she asked once she had said the line.
"How did it feel? Did it feel as though you were acting, or did it feel somewhat real?" Andrew asked.
"It felt kind of real, like I was really the Angel of Death and I was comforting you," she laughed weakly. "That sounds so crazy, but that's how it felt."
"But, you see now that you don't always have to hug someone to make something look real. You can simply touch their shoulder and that caring comes right through with your words and emotions," he said. "Sometimes, that's even more effective."
"You're a great acting coach," she said and made the notation in her script so she wouldn't forget this during rehearsal. "OK, what next?"
"We continue the scene," he said and spoke Theodore's next line. "I've never really believed in Him."
"He knows, and although you haven't, He is still there for you, and will help you. All you have to do is ask Him for the help," Brenda said. She still had her hand on his shoulder, but it felt weighted down somewhat, and she looked at him questionably.
"Try this," he sat up as she removed her hand from his shoulder. He rested his hand on her shoulder and the pressure exerted there was so light and gentle, that she could barely feel that his hand was actually there. After a second, she could feel him moving his hand only slightly down her arm, the touch still light, and as strange as it felt, she somehow experienced his comforting sentiments through his touch. Once he moved his hand away from her shoulder, he spoke. "Now, you try."
Brenda did exactly as he said and when he smiled at her, she knew that she had done it correctly.
"Good," he said. "Now recite the line as you do that." He lay back down on the floor and Brenda recited the line. As she did, she tried to remember to match the movements with the words she spoke, but in the middle of the line, he stopped her, his voice breaking her concentration. "You must have been concentrating too much on the line and not as much on your movement, because your hand suddenly felt very heavy. Try again and this time, lighter on the touch, the lines will come, you know them, now you just have to coordinate them with your movements."
Brenda nodded and tried the line again. When she had finished he nodded.
"OK, now to the next line," he said and recited Theodore's next line. "How does someone like me ask God for help?"
"You pray, and ask Him to be with you through it all. I will do whatever I can to help you. For that reason, He sent me to be with you and help you through this. All you have to do ask Him for His guidance."
"Move your hand slowly from my shoulder as you speak these words. By the time you reach the end of the line, your hand should be resting on my back," Andrew suggested. "You have to let him know that he's not alone and that you're there to comfort and support him. When he feels your contact with him, he'll somehow know and understand this. It will be the responsibility of the actor playing Theodore's role to react to your movements. Now, try the line again, and as you do, lightly move your hand from my shoulder to my back."
"Where on your back?" She asked.
"Lay down on the floor as Theodore is supposed to lie," he said. She did as he said and could first feel his hand on her shoulder, but after a few moments, he moved it down her arm a little, back up to her shoulder and finally rested it gently against her upper back near her right shoulder.
"That gives me goose bumps," she said after he removed his hand.
"Yes, and I think it will give the audience them as well," he said smiling.
"OK," she said as he lay down on the floor and she recited the line as she did what he had done moments before.
"Let's try the entire section again," Andrew said and Brenda nodded.
After three or four tries, Andrew was satisfied with her work and they continued working through the scene. She anticipated learning all the techniques he was willing to show her and when they reached the end of the scene, Brenda was completely exhausted.
She stood up and helped him return the coffee table to its proper location all the while, feeling completely confident for the first time with how to portray her role. Not only did he teach her his techniques in comforting a dying person, but he also taught her essentially how to be an Angel of Death. She was extremely grateful for his help, but not once during the course of the evening did she begin to question how it was that he knew all this stuff.
Finally, when it was time to go to bed, she smiled weakly at him. "You think this will work?"
"What? The role?" He asked her.
"Yeah," she whispered.
"It will, just keep the confidence."
"Thanks so much for all your help," she said and yawned. "I guess I'll know tomorrow how well it worked when I get to rehearsal," she said.
Andrew smiled as she said good night and went down the hall to her room. As soon as her door closed, he closed his eyes. "She's doing well, isn't she?" he whispered under his breath, and when he got an affirmative answer, he smiled.
*****
The following evening, Brenda arrived for the rehearsal and she looked pretty happy about what she would have to do with the role. Andrew had given her monumental amounts of support, and she knew without his help, she wouldn't have been able to pull of the role she would have to play.
"Hi Monica," she said as she came in and saw the auburn headed angel waiting near the orchestra pit.
"Brenda, how are you doing?" she asked.
"I'm pretty good," she said softly. "I just got off work and was hoping I would get here before rehearsal started."
"Where are you working?" Monica asked.
"I've been working at the county library for about a month now, and things are going pretty well," she said.
"I'm glad, you look much happier than you were the day we met," Monica said honestly.
"I feel much happier," she said softly. "You know what, this role has changed me. I'm really grateful to you for suggesting that I give it a try. I have never in my life been as affected by a role as I am by 'Andrea', there is something so gentle and caring about her. Something that I never thought could emerge from me."
"Surprise," Monica said smiling as Tess arrived and came down towards the orchestra pit where they were standing.
"Where is everyone?" Tess asked.
"I don't know," Monica said.
"I think I'm just early, Tess," Brenda said. "I thought I was running late, but maybe I'm a little bit early."
"How are you doing these days, honey?" Tess asked.
"Great, I never thought it was possible, but I'm doing really well," Brenda said.
"How are your other classes going?" Tess asked.
"Well, I quit that boring Foreign Policy class and signed up for a creative writing class. I can get doubled up English credit for it. I started writing poetry for it, too. It's been a lot of fun," she said. "My boss has been giving me great advice on dealing with all of this, and we have a great time. It's almost as though I'm not even working because I enjoy it so much."
"Have you seen your parents?" Monica asked.
"No, well that's not exactly true, I saw my mom at the grocery store, but I didn't say anything to her. I guess I didn't want to. I'm still hurt by what they did, but in a way, I'm OK with it now," Brenda said softly.
As the rest of the cast drifted into the theater, Brenda went over and sat down and looked over her script. She had made careful notes of the movements that Andrew instructed her to use, and she was convinced that they would come across natural, but wanted to make sure she knew them by heart. It was not exactly easy to do this, but she felt the movements were perfect, and though she could not explain why, she wanted to do them correctly.
Once everyone was present, Tess called the cast up onto the stage and began to talk to them. "You kids are doing a great job," she began. "Let's get started with the scene between Andrea and Theodore," she said and they all got up on the stage.
Jordan and Brenda remained on the stage and she took her position off to one side as the boy stretched out on the bed and lay there as though he was in a coma. Brenda remained standing there as she slipped into the role of Andrea. "Theodore."
He opened his eyes and looked at her. "Who are you?"
"My name is Andrea."
"But how did you get in here?" he asked.
Brenda began to speak, her lines emerging as though she was Andrea. As she approached the bed, her voice became stronger and more confident, as her voice filled the auditorium. She continued speaking as she reached the bed where he was lying, her voice gentle and filled with loving assurances. As she got on her knees next to him, Brenda placed a gentle hand on his shoulder causing the boy to flinch and he sat up abruptly causing her to loose her balance and fall over and land on her bottom.
"Cut. Jordan, what's wrong?" Tess asked.
"She scared me is all," the boy said as he looked at Brenda strangely. "What's with you? Did you go to the 'Angel of Death School of Acting' or what?"
Andrew appeared in the back of the room and began to chuckle as he heard the words emerging from the boy. He continued to watch, the students completely unaware of his presence.
"No," Brenda answered blushing. "I didn't mean to startle you."
"Just don't tell me you're the real Angel of Death, OK?" he said softly.
"No, she's just unknowingly being coached by one," Monica said very softly to Tess who turned around and shushed her. Monica glanced around and when she saw Andrew standing in the back of the room, she smiled at him and tried to keep herself from laughing out loud.
"Listen kids, let's try this again," Tess said. "Now, Jordan, I would say that you now know what to expect from our little angel here, so try to stay in your role, OK?"
"OK, Tess," he said and smiled sheepishly. He lay back down on the bed and they started again. This time he did not break his role, but when the scene was done, he no longer looked particularly comfortable.
As they ran the scene for the last time that evening, Monica looked at Tess. "She's doing very well with the role, just like I knew she would."
"Yes, she is a very talented actress," Tess affirmed.
Monica smiled. "She does the part so well, I can hardly wait until opening night."
"I just hope that Jordan can deal with doing Theodore's role, he looked as though he was about to jump out of his skin whenever she would touch him," Tess said.
Monica nodded. "Yes, well you've seen this happen before, when Andrew had to take someone home. She looks as though she has taken his role without even realizing it."
Tess nodded and watched as Brenda studied her script from across the room. "He's eventually going to have to tell her the truth. She will have to know that these mannerisms aren't just from an 'acting coach' but from a real Angel of Death and through her acting, she is showing something that is completely real."
"Do you think she'll be angry when he tells her?" Monica asked.
"I don't think so, but it might be hard for her to accept this because she and our Angel Boy have become good friends and he has helped her to find the courage to treasure her life and take control of it." Tess answered. "It will be hard when the play closes and we have to move on."
Monica nodded as Brenda came over to them. "Tess, do you have a minute?"
"What is it Brenda?" Tess asked gently.
"Well, it's about Jordan, I don't think he wants to do the role anymore, and I think it's my fault," she said softly looking down at her feet.
"Now honey don't you go and get yourself in an uproar about this, I'll have a chat with him and see what is going on and maybe we can find a peaceful resolution to this," Tess said. "If not, we will have to use the understudy."
"A few minutes ago, I overheard him telling Billy, the understudy, about it and now it looks as though neither of them want to come near me," she said softly. "I hope I didn't overdo it."
"No honey, you were absolutely beautiful," Tess said encouragingly. "If Jordan and Billy decide to back out, then we'll have to find someone else to take the role of Theodore, and we'd have to hurry because the play opens in a month and that's not much time for someone new to learn the lines."
Brenda shook her head. "If they don't do it, I think I know of someone who might be able to do the role," she finally said smiling weakly.
"Who?" Tess asked already aware of what Brenda's answer was going to be.
"A friend of mine, he's been helping me with learning the lines, and I think he has memorized most of Theodore's lines. The best thing about him doing it is at least he doesn't get nervous when I come near him," Brenda said sadly.
Tess nodded, "let me talk to Jordan and Billy first, and then if that doesn't work, then we'll ask your friend."
"OK," she said and as the others were packing up to go home, she sighed sadly, but took her belongings and walked slowly outside.
At that moment, Billy and Jordan were leaving the theater, and both of their voices resonated the stillness of the room. "We quit Tess, you're going to have to find someone else to play that creepy role."
Tess sighed deeply, and once the room had emptied out, Andrew appeared and smiled weakly at Tess. "You're not mad at me for helping her, are you, Tess?" he asked giving the angel his best puppy dog eyes.
"No, but now she thinks you should play the role of Theodore," Tess said.
Monica was still standing there and she smiled, "Why not? It would certainly make for quite a role reversal!"
"Perhaps this wouldn't be such a bad idea," Tess mused. "The Father thinks that maybe you should give it a try, Angel Boy, it might just help broaden your perspectives a little."
"But, I'm not an actor, Tess," he said simply.
"Don't feed me that line, Angel Boy, you've been coaching her," Tess said firmly. "Now, don't go telling me you're not. And another thing, Andrew, the Father said you should do it, so you'd better get ready to play the role of a suicidal young man." Her expression softened when she saw the sadness cross his face. "Look, Andrew, you're Brenda's friend, and she's going to be counting on you to help her fulfill this dream. This isn't just for her, but for this entire production. Without you, there will be no production."
Monica smiled encouragingly at her friend. Andrew would not only be able to do the role, but he would be able to do it without getting goose bumps when Brenda would touch his shoulder.
*****
Brenda opened the door to the apartment and sat down on the sofa. Sighing sadly, she picked up the script that Andrew had used when he helped her with her role. Would he actually be willing to do this, she asked herself more often than not as she had been walking home from the theater. She sighed again as he came out into the living room.
"How was the rehearsal?" he asked.
"OK," she mumbled.
He came over and sat down next to her, his voice gentle as he addressed her. "I know you're not being honest with me. Come on, Brenda, what happened?"
"Everything went completely wrong. Those movements you taught me last night gave Jordan the creeps and now he and his understudy have both quit the play," she said sadly. "It's all my fault, and now with only a month left before the play opens, we're going to have to find someone else to do Theodore's role or the play won't happen at all." She looked at him sadly.
"Is that all, or did you have something else on your mind?" he asked.
"Andrew, would you be willing to take the role?"
"Me?" he looked at her with raised eyebrows.
"Well I know it's a crazy idea, but, you're the only person I could think of, who would be able to do it without getting goose bumps when I touch you," She looked at him, the sadness lurking there. "When I did the movements like we practiced last night, Jordan just about jumped out of his skin. He even asked me if I was enrolled at the 'Angel of Death School of Acting'." She paused before she was able to continue. "I'm at a loss here. Without Theodore, the play won't happen and all that work will be for nothing."
Andrew tried to hide his small smile, but when he saw the earnest look on Brenda's face, he reached over and rested his hand on her shoulder. "OK, Brenda, I'll do it, but if they start throwing oranges and tomatoes at me, then I will look to you to protect me."
She smiled weakly, but looked at him. "You mean you'll do it? You'll actually take the part?" she asked.
"Yes, I'll do it," he said. "After all, I did say it was a lot of fun, but you're going to have to help me with my role. OK?"
She nodded. "I think I know this role better than anyone, it was the story of my life for a long time."
He smiled and she laid the script back on the coffee table.
*****
The month passed quickly. Andrew and Brenda continued working, both spending as much time as they could possibly find trying to get Andrew to memorize the lines for Theodore. The day after Jordan and Billy quit, Brenda brought him with her to the rehearsal and introduced him to the rest of the Theater Club. As luck would have it, he was immediately accepted into the group most of the participants extremely grateful that he had taken the role and that at least he had a general idea of the lines. Being an angel, he was able to learn his lines rather quickly, but Brenda had to help him somehow comprehend the quirks of the angry character he was supposed to portray.
"You have to look angrier," she would often tell him. "If you always look so serene, no one would believe that you're hurting inside."
"This is hard," he would grumble.
"Hey, if I can play the role of an angel, then you can play the role of a guy who is on the edge," she often said to him.
They went through this practically every evening, but after a month of intense rehearsals, it appeared as though Andrew and Brenda were both ready for dress rehearsal, which would happen that very evening.
Andrew and Brenda arrived at the theater hall that evening, both appeared ready for the rehearsal and Brenda immediately excused herself to go to the dressing room to change into her first costume.
Some ten minutes after they had arrived, Monica came to the women's dressing room door and knocked. Zoe opened the door and Monica came inside. "Is Brenda in here somewhere?" She asked.
"Over here," Brenda called out as she tried unsuccessfully to fix her hair.
"I'll help you with that," Monica offered noticing the trouble Brenda seemed to have with her hair. "First, I was asked to bring this to you."
Brenda looked at the flowing white dress hanging from Monica's arm. It was made of a soft material, the softest she had ever seen. "This is absolutely beautiful," she said.
"This is your costume for when Andrea reveals herself to Theodore," she explained and when Brenda felt the silkiness of the dress, she could not help but smile. "It's yours to keep even after the play closes."
"This is wonderful," Brenda said softly. "Throughout the entire rehearsals I kept wondering what an angel would wear, and this is more beautiful than anything I could have imagined. Thank you."
Monica smiled. "Don't thank me, Tess is the one who found it. Now let me help you with your hair."
Brenda sat down as Monica's gentle fingers worked their magic with her long red hair. After tonight, there would be three performances and Brenda would know the truth about Andrew. Monica wondered all the while how Brenda would take it. Sometimes having angels in their midst was not always easy for humans to grasp, but she was somehow convinced that Brenda would be OK.
The rehearsal went very well, and at the very end when Brenda emerged wearing the white satin dress, everyone in the cast applauded when they saw her. She came out onto the stage as a beam of white light covered her making it appear as though she was glowing with God's love. All of her love and compassion went into the role and she did her motions and lines without any trouble at all.
At the end of the play, there was a curtain call and then the dress rehearsal was at an end. Brenda went back into the dressing room and changed back into her street clothes before going out into the auditorium for the last pep talk before she would go home for the night.
*****
The following morning Brenda woke up excited, but she had butterflies in the pit of her stomach. She went to all her classes and tried without any success to keep her thoughts on her work and not on the play, which would open that night. "Dear God," she prayed at one point. "Please be with me during this entire play. I know it was your grace that made it all possible, and it was you who gave me the courage to pursue this."
Unbeknownst to Brenda, Tess had secretly sent the tickets to the play to Brenda's parents, and although she had no idea whether or not they would come, the angel could only conclude that things seemed to be going rather well and the play would be a rousing success. The three angels were happy because their assignment, Brenda, appeared to have a completely new lust for life.
At the same time, Andrew seemed to be enjoying his role as the angry young man, and often commented that it was a great stress reliever when his job got to be too much for him.
The day seemed to crawl by and when it was time for them to eat dinner before going to the theater, Brenda rushed inside the apartment out of breath. "I just got off work," she gasped as she tossed her backpack on the sofa.
"Calm down, we don't have to be there for another hour," Andrew said gently.
"I know, I just feel rushed right now," she said. "It's opening night. Can you believe it?"
"It's going to be fun," he said gently. "Now sit down, you're making me nervous."
"Sorry," she blushed slightly as she sat down.
"Are you OK?" he asked once she had sat down.
"I'm nervous about tonight," she said, "I guess it's nothing new, I am always a little nervous before I go on stage before a lot of people."
"Somehow I have a strange feeling that something else is bothering you," he said. "Do you want to talk about it?"
"I was just thinking about my parents," she said. "Everyone keeps saying that their families would be coming to opening night, but I can't say that. I sometimes wish I could move back home, but I know that that won't happen unless my parents change, and I can't expect them to do that, either. The closest thing I have to any sort of family is you, you've been like an older brother to me."
He smiled gently. "Thank you, but I think you should try to enjoy what you're doing tonight and not worry about all of that. I know it's hard, but the facts are there, you've got talent, Brenda, and it's a God given ability. Something He graced you with. There are, after all, a lot of people out there who cannot act at all, but you can, and you're going to touch a lot of people tonight."
"This role has changed my life, Andrew, it made me realize so much about myself that I thought didn't even exist," she said. "Andrea's character has become almost a part of me. I can't explain why, but she's somehow inside of me, giving me hope and faith that everything will turn out OK. If Monica had not suggested that I do this role, then I would have gone on as though nothing had happened."
He squeezed her shoulder and smiled at her. "There's a reason for everything," he said softly.
"Yeah," she nodded in agreement. "Even if we don't always understand it."
"Exactly," he smiled.
*****
The auditorium was full when Andrew and Brenda arrived. They immediately went backstage to get their last encouraging words from Tess and soon it was time to go and get dressed to start.
"Brenda, can I see you for a moment?" Tess asked once she had dismissed the others and all cast members headed for their prospective dressing rooms.
"What is it?" Brenda asked.
"There's something I have to tell you before you go out there, honey," Tess said simply. "I sent tickets to tonight's opening to your parents, and I'm not sure if they came or not, but I did want you to know this in case you see them while you're up there."
Brenda smiled weakly. "I don't really know what good that would do, but at least you've told me in case I do see them."
"You're going to do a wonderful job out there, Brenda, I'm certain of it," Tess said gently.
"Thank you," she said as the director took her place out in the auditorium and she slipped quietly inside the dressing room.
As she got dressed in her first costume, Zoe, the girl who was portraying Vivian looked at Brenda. "I think it's great what you did with Andrea's character, Brenda. I was really impressed with your work and shocked that Jordan was such coward and quit."
"He wasn't comfortable with what I did," Brenda said softly as she pulled her hair out of her face and began to apply the makeup as Monica had shown her the night before.
"I don't think he liked it because you upstaged him. He's always been a bit on the arrogant side," Zoe said gently. "I think you're a better actress than I am, but I've only been doing this for about a year, and you've been doing it since you were a kid. I heard about how you stole the show when you did 'Alice in Wonderland' in the third grade. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that I wanted you to know that I really like what you did with it, and I would like it if you could teach me how you do those slow fluid movements." The girl smiled shyly.
Brenda nodded and smiled as she shrugged her shoulders. "I'll show you everything, but in exchange I would like it very much if you would help me with something. The deal is; I happen to know that you're a wonderful writer and I could use some help with editing my latest story."
Zoe grinned and nodded, and the two shook hands sealing their agreement. "Break a leg, Brenda!"
"You too," she said softly and when she looked at the other girl, she realized that through this play, she had found a new friend.
*****
The curtain came down at the end of the play. Brenda had received a standing ovation for her role as Andrea, and she smiled as she took her final bow and backed away as the curtain descended. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see her parents seated in the front row and though she was glad to see them there, it surprised her to see that they had actually come.
Tess was all smiles when she greeted the cast after the final curtain call. "You were wonderful, all of you."
Andrew looked a bit shaken afterwards, but Brenda went over to him and hugged him. "Are you OK?"
"I think so," he said. "It feels a lot more different to do that in front of so many people. I was a bit overwhelmed."
"You did really great, though," she said appreciatively.
"You did too," he said. "You really looked like an angel out there, Brenda."
Before she could say anything else, a voice interrupted them and she turned to see both of her parents standing in the doorway, Monica was standing some paces behind them and smiling at her.
"Mom? Dad? What are you doing here?" She asked.
"We got tickets in the mail two days ago, Brenda," her mother said.
"I'm glad you're here," she said sincerely. "I want you to meet my friend, Andrew. Andrew, these are my parents, Marjorie and Joseph Martinson."
"Pleased to meet you," Andrew said with a smile. "You have a very talented daughter, Mr. and Mrs. Martinson, she is a wonderful actress and a very caring young woman. You should be proud of her."
Once he was gone, her parents looked at her and her father spoke up. "Who is that guy? I've never seen him around town before."
"We met in that Foreign Policy class I was in at the beginning of the semester," she replied.
"The class you were in?" Her father asked.
"Yes, after I moved out, I dropped it and changed some of my classes around. I replaced it with a creative writing class," she explained.
"Where did you get the money for this?" her father asked.
"I managed," she said simply. "I started working at the library two days after I moved out and between classes, rehearsals, and work, I somehow managed to muddle through. Thanks to my friends."
"Where are you living now?" her mother asked.
"Andrew has a spare room at his apartment, and I've been living there. When I get some money saved, I'll move into my own place. I've already saved the money for a deposit, and the landlord has agreed to help me out by giving me a job during the summer with keeping the complex tidy," she said.
"You moved in with Andrew?" her mother asked completely horrified and somehow stuck on that one point.
"Oh Mom, it's no big deal. I have a room of my own, and we share the expenses and chores. Besides, it's a far cry better than living on the streets. I'm very grateful to him for helping me out, because I know that it could have been much worse."
"But, he's a man, Brenda," her mother objected.
"Yes, he is, but he's also a very good friend," she said. "He has never done anything to hurt me, he's been nothing but kind and supportive to me in all of this and he's like the brother I never had. If not for him I'd have probably killed myself after you threw me out." Sighing sadly she quickly slapped her hand over her mouth. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say that."
"Were we really so hard to live with?" Her father demanded.
"Yes, Dad, you were. The things that were important to me, you did not accept and the things that I didn't like, such as those boring seminars, were somehow being pushed on me. When I didn't feel like going, you used guilt to push me into attending them. It was only through this play, and my friendship with Andrew, that I learned that I didn't have to handle my problems the way Theodore did. I can find a better way to cope and a healthier way to come out of them." She looked at her parents. "I'm really glad you came tonight, and please don't believe that I would attack you with my words simply because you're here; but the truth is, I am happy now, my life is not worry free, but it is my own, and I am able to live as I wish to, and that is a gift from God."
"So you won't be moving back in with us?" her mother asked.
"I can't," she whispered. "It is only during the most difficult time in my life, I had to muddle through alone. Now things are going well, I'd prefer to keep them as they are than to backslide into a life where I was not happy. I'm sorry, but I will not return home."
Once the Martinsons had walked away, Brenda returned to the dressing room and changed into her street clothes.
"I heard what you said to them," Tess' voice emerged as she was reaching for her jacket.
"I had to tell them the truth, Tess. I couldn't pretend with them. There's a difference between Andrea and me. I guess I'm not as loving at she is," Brenda said as she shrugged her shoulders.
"I would say you are, Brenda, much more so than you think," Tess said gently. "It takes an extremely courageous and loving person to tell other people that life cannot continue as it had been. Some people call it 'tough love', and that is something only the most confident of people can demonstrate."
"Tess, when my parents kicked me out of the house at the beginning of the semester, it was because I wanted to find my own way. I wouldn’t have done it if it hadn't been for this play. I somehow realized that through Andrea, I was able to find the courage to look for something better for myself. The help that Andrew gave me, offered me the chance to realize it. You know he shared his apartment with me, and helped me when things were really going bad for me. If it hadn't been for his help, I would not have made it, somehow his belief in me made this all possible."
Tess smiled gently at her and patted her arm. "You must accept that your determination and faith also helped make it happen."
"It was hard," Brenda said simply.
"I know, baby, but you did it, and that will always be your strength," the angel said gently. "You might be inspired by other people, but the strength will be there because God gave it to you."
"I'll never forget that, not as long as I live," she said and hugged Tess.
"Good, because that's a very important lesson for someone to learn," Tess said.
"I guess I'll see you tomorrow for the next performance," Brenda said.
"I'll see you then," Tess said gently as Brenda left the backstage area and went to meet Andrew.
*****
"What happened with your parents?" Andrew asked once she came out. He could see that she looked rather relieved but he could also detect a small trace of bitterness in her eyes. He could not determine what that meant, but he figured that in her own time she would eventually tell him.
"You don't want to know," she said softly, her voice somewhat edgy.
"Oh come on, Brenda, you don't have any reason to be afraid to tell me something," he pressed.
"OK. Andrew, when I told my mother that we were living in the same apartment, she thought that you and I were in a relationship with one another," she rolled her eyes as she looked at him. "It bothers me a little that she got the wrong idea, and that we are just friends. I mean, I know of a lot of guys and girls who live in the same dormitory or apartment, and there's nothing going on. I guess my parents are old fashioned, but I find it to be rather annoying."
"I didn't think about this when I made the offer," he said sadly.
"Neither did I, I just thought about how grateful I was that you did," she said softly. "I still am, but it bothers me that people don't accept that a guy and a girl can be mutual friends, nothing more." After some moments, she looked over at him and when she saw a look of surprise in his green eyes, she began to giggle. "Don't take it to heart, Andrew, but for a boyfriend, you're just a tad bit too old for me."
"None taken," he smiled gently. "But, I'm curious, what did you tell your mother about this after she made those statements?"
"I told her that you're a very good friend, and that you were more like an older brother to me than anything else," she said and shook her head. "I told her that you helped me when they kicked me out and if it hadn't been for you and the play, I would probably have killed myself."
"I'm glad you didn't," he said and smiled.
"Me too, though I must admit, this Angel of Death stuff kind of gives me a calmer feeling about death. It is a lot more comforting to think that this play could be a depiction of how it really happens rather than to think that there's some guy dressed in black carrying a scythe and ready to knock me senseless." She shook her head. "That vision would give anyone the creeps; but even still, I'm quite certain that I'm not ready to go yet. Especially now when things are going better," she smiled brightly as she changed the subject. "How about a late night cheeseburger? I'm starving and I know of an all-night diner that we can go to?" she offered. "My treat."
Andrew smiled and offered his arm. "You're on."
*****
Two days later, the play closed and Brenda was still sitting on the front of the stage after the house had emptied out. She was still wearing her white silk dress and when she looked up, she carried a genuine smile on her face as she could see Andrew coming down the aisle towards her.
"I thought you were going to go to the cast party," he said as he sat down next to her.
"I was just thinking about everything that happened these past couple of months," she said and as they both sat in companionable silence as she waited for him to say something.
"Actually, there are a few things which I have to tell you, Brenda," he said gently. "Only trouble is, I don't know where to start."
"Yeah, and I guess there's something I needed to tell you as well," she said. "I found an apartment earlier this week and will be moving out tomorrow afternoon. I wanted to thank you for all the help you gave me in dealing with everything this semester. You've been a wonderful friend, and I'm totally grateful to you. No one could have possibly asked for a better friend."
"I must say the same holds true for you," he said softly, and when he looked at her, he realized that the truth was going to be much harder for him to tell her than he had anticipated. Father, please help me do this, his thoughts somewhat sad as he looked back over to where she was sitting. When she said nothing else he pulled a piece of paper from his pocket and stared down at it for a few moments before speaking. "Brenda, there's something I want to show you," he said as he handed her the piece of paper.
She looked down at it and could see the letterhead for the company that had given her the scholarship to finish the semester. "But, I don't understand, you had given this to me over a month ago, why are you showing it to me again?"
"This is part of what I wanted to explain to you. This company called 'AOD Incorporated' actually does not exist," he said simply. "There is no scholarship and the entire story is a fake."
"Then where did the money come from and how is it that a company that does not exist would have such fancy letterhead?" She asked weakly.
"Look at the name, Brenda," he said simply. "What actually comes to your mind when you look at those initials, 'AOD'?"
She shook her head sadly not catching the meaning behind what he was trying to tell her. "Andrew, I know you're trying to tell me something, but you're not saying it directly. Please, tell me what this is all about."
He looked away from her for a few moments as he ran his hand through his blonde hair and then he looked back over at her. "What is Andrea, Brenda? I mean, besides the role of someone you played tonight."
"She's an Angel of Death," she looked down at the letterhead and then back up at him the letters AOD running through her mind and she looked at him as she realized that the three words started with those three letters. "Angel of Death?"
Andrew nodded and looked at her. "You wouldn't have accepted this if I used my name, so I used the abbreviation, because I knew how important going to college is to you."
"You did this?"
He nodded, "well, actually it was me and my father who did this."
She shook her head in complete disbelief. "But I don't even know your father," she objected.
"Oh, don't be so sure of that," he said and smiled mysteriously at her.
"Does this have anything to do with the play?" she asked weakly trying to understand the answers he was giving to her, but also feeling the uncertainty of whether or not the words he used matched up with the strange emotions, which were now cursing through her mind.
"In part, but it has more to do with something else, like what I really am and why I am actually here," Andrew said and within moments, he was surrounded with the white light of God's love and he wore his white suit.
Brenda looked at him and when she saw how he had changed, her eyes widened and she backed up slightly, all the while shaking her head in disbelief. She tried to rub her eyes, but when she moved her hands away, she could see that he was still glowing.
"Brenda," he said her name as the glow faded and eventually disappeared from around him, she could hear as his voice emerged gentle and filled with love. He reached over and rested his hand on her shoulder and squeezed it. "Just look at me and try to remember that night when we rehearsed the movements to your role. You told me at one point that I was a wonderful acting coach, but to me this wasn't acting, it was real. What I showed you was not simply motions to fulfill a role, these were real actions, things I have done hundreds of times with hundreds of different people."
"Y-you mean, y-you're an angel?" she stammered.
"Yes, I am," he said smiling gently.
"A-and I was learning…" her voice trailed as she looked at him.
"You were learning how to be an Angel of Death from a real Angel of Death," Andrew said gently. "You learned this role from someone who lives this kind of thing every day."
Brenda looked at him and he could tell that she was now frightened.
"Please, don't be afraid, I would never hurt you," he said softly. "Everything that happened during these past two months happened for a reason."
"A-all this time. I was portraying you?" she whispered.
"Yes, you were, and you did very well, too, I must say," he said gently his eyes shining brightly. "You see, I knew all along about the play, even before you and I met at the library and talked about it. The person who wrote it, wrote it because of you and because of what you were facing. Through that play, it was simply a way of convincing you that your life is special and that you are as well."
"I don't believe it," she whispered. "I mean, I do, but…"
Andrew put his arm around her shoulder and patted it reassuringly. "I understand what you're saying, and I know this is a lot for you to digest at once, but I wanted you to know the truth, because I care about you, and I hoped that you would not feel that I deceived you during the last few months."
"I don't feel deceived, I'm just confused," she shook her head. "All the things that happened and all the strength I got. Did that come from you?"
"No, it all came from God, and is actually manifest within you because you asked Him to give it to you," he said honestly and smiled. "I was only here to help you cope with everything. When you talked about suicide, I was afraid for you. I knew that everything was hard for you, but I wanted to help encourage you to find the beauty that exists in your life. As time went by; I realized that as much as I may have influenced you; you also influenced me."
"I did?"
"Mm-hum," Andrew smiled. "In portraying Theodore and meeting you, I was given the opportunity to realize the reasons behind why so many people develop these ideas of suicide. I learned that often times it isn't just being cutoff from God, but also these very real feelings of loss and isolation intertwined with these emotions. I know that many people lose track of God in their lives, but you showed me that a lot of these people are actually forced into these situations because of the actions of others, and not by their own free will. In essence, it does not always mean that they are separated from God," he smiled gently at her as he continued. "I knew from the start that you knew what you wanted to do with your life; but just realizing this created problems, because you felt the pressure to follow the will of others. You showed me in a profound way that it wasn't your will that was pushing the issue of suicide in your life, it was that of your parents."
Brenda shook her head not sure she understood what he was saying. "But, I thought…"
"It's OK, Brenda, you owe neither me nor God any explanation. We both know that you were hurting, and that's why I was sent here, to help you cope with that," he smiled gently at her. "But, there's something else you helped me with and that was with the script. Through playing this role, I realized that this angry young man is the persona of many people I have encountered. I realized that through putting myself into his shoes, I could better understand what goes through the mind of someone who actually contemplates suicide. I believe that through this, it will help me better understand someone who is facing it when I must work with the issue in the future."
Brenda looked out at the empty house and then back at him. "It's kind of funny, I mean; when we first met, you said that the real Angel of Death would be proud of the way I did that role, I never even thought that you could have been that angel," she shook her head in complete disbelief.
"Yes it's true, and I am very proud of you, as is God," he smiled. "He knew all along that you were having a hard time, and He didn't want you to feel lost any longer. He loves you, Brenda, and through this play, you have found your way back to Him. There's a reason for everything, just like I said a few days ago."
Brenda sighed deeply and nodded, the thoughts going through her mind now a whirlwind. Her friend, the man who was like a brother to her was not really a man, but an Angel of Death. The news of who he truly was struck her, and now she was wondering if the best friend she had found in him no longer existed because of who he was. She could feel the tears in her eyes, but wiped them away with the hopes that he would not see them.
In response to her actions, Andrew rested one hand on her shoulder; but with the other, he brushed the tears away, which had escaped from under her eyes and were now streaming down her cheeks. "Brenda, my intent was only to help you find the answers you needed. I wanted you to know the truth because it is time for us to move on, now. Contrary to who I am, I want you to know that I will always consider you to be my friend and I hope that I will always be your friend as well."
She nodded numbly, as he wrapped his arms around her and held her in the comfort of his embrace. She remained in his arms unwilling to break the embrace with him, because it was there, in his arms, that she felt so much love and understanding. "I will always see you as my friend, Andrew. But why the play? I mean; you really did know everything about it, didn't you?"
He nodded and smiled. "I knew because the idea for it came from my friends, and Tess is the one who predominately wrote the script for it. The truth is, Tess and Monica are also angels, and they are embodied in Vivian's character. The character of Andrea is actually me. When Tess and Monica wrote the script, they asked me to select the name for that part and the name I picked was 'Andrea'."
"It never fully occurred to me that the names were so similar," she said shaking her head. "I guess, I did sense something special about you, but I was afraid to admit it. You always seemed so calm and certain when I was freaking out."
He smiled gently at her and nodded. "Andrea is the female variant of Andrew, so if you had considered this, you could have talked to me about it. It surprised me that you didn't mention this, because I figured that you would have eventually said something, simply because you are very intelligent." Brenda blushed as he continued to speak. "Tess did this story especially for you, the other people who participated in the play were unaware of this and it may be wise for you to keep this information to yourself because these other people did put a lot of work into their roles as well."
"I won't say anything to them about it, but is that why it was so important to you that I did the role?" She asked.
"Yes, that's why," he said. "You were in essence learning something important all the while portraying someone real, that's why I asked you if it felt real to you, because for me, it is very real."
Brenda smiled weakly. "Thank you," she said softly.
"I didn't do all that much," he said, his modesty showing.
"How can you say that?" she asked weakly. "You did more for me than anyone else ever could have. You shared a part of yourself with me, which I find to be a tremendous honor. I mean; you chose to teach me how to do something that I would never have been able to do and essentially shared something very special about how you help someone who must face death." She shook her head in complete disbelief. "You actually taught me how to be an angel."
Andrew shrugged his shoulders and smiled weakly at her. After a few moments, he spoke, his voice soft. "I'm glad you're not angry. I would never have wanted the truth to hurt you."
She shook her head. "It doesn't, but the only thing that does hurt me is that I know I will have to say good-bye to you, and I have never been very good at doing that," she paused before she could find the words to continue. "I have so many questions buzzing around my head, and I wonder if you would sit down with me before you go and talk to me about them."
"I would be glad to do that," he said gently.
She looked down at the dress she was still wearing and then back at him. "Where did this wonderful dress really come from?"
Andrew could only smile. "It's a gift from the Father, Brenda."
She regarded the dress with wonder. "From God?" When he nodded, she continued to speak, her voice cracking with pent up emotion. "Then when you said that the money from that 'scholarship' was from you and your father. You meant, that it came from God?"
"Mm-hum," he nodded.
"God really cares for me so much?" she asked weakly.
"He loves you very much, Brenda," Andrew said gently. "All those things you received from me, are gifts from the Father, and He is very proud of you."
She could feel the tears beginning to stream down her cheeks. "I'll probably wear this one day when I get married," she whispered as she touched the soft fabric of the dress she wore.
Andrew smiled. "I think that would please Him very much."
"Andrew, you're still the best friend I ever had," she said softly. "I'm honored in knowing you and blessed by your friendship."
"Your friendship is also a blessing to me," he said gently.
She smiled weakly, and after a few moments, she looked at him. "Then in that case, shall we toast our friendship with a tall glass of lemonade and a cheeseburger?"
He nodded and the two of them left the auditorium together.
*****
"So, you're telling me that the play is really what happens when we die?" she asked softly. They were both sitting in a booth inside a small and relatively empty diner. Brenda was playing with the straw from her drink.
"Yes," Andrew said. "It's not really awful like people might believe, but it is something rather beautiful. To see people fully experiencing the love of God makes the entire job worth it for me."
Brenda took a sip of her soda. "That really does make it seem not to be as bad as one would expect. When I was a little kid I used to ask my mother about it, but she didn't tell me anything, so I stopped asking. I later concluded that we would always ask about this topic, simply because the uncertainty would always be there, especially after someone dies. I remember asking so often about it after my grandma died. I wanted to know where she was, and if she was happy."
"She is," Andrew confirmed.
"I believe it, I mean, if someone like you had been with her, then I could understand that she would have been able to face it with all the courage and strength God could offer," she smiled.
"Most people have a pretty twisted idea about it," he said honestly, his voice somewhat sad. "One time I met a small boy on Halloween who called me 'death' and that really hurt me. I had to explain to him that I'm not 'death' I'm an Angel of Death, but those are two different things, and there is no 'death' in person, just angels who want to help people with their own transition."
Brenda nodded. "I know you're not, Andrew, because you helped remind me of God's love and gave me the courage to keep living. However, I must admit, it is kind of weird for me to talk openly about this topic, but at the same time, it kind of offers me a better understanding of it. I do have one question which has yet to be answered in all of this."
"What is that?" he asked.
"Would God really have forgiven me if I had tried to end my life?" She asked weakly.
"He would have, Brenda," Andrew said compassionately. "Though I must admit, it would have been horrible for me to take you home, because I would have had to see the tragic loss of a beautiful and talented young woman," he paused and took a sip of his lemonade before continuing. "It is exactly the same with me as it was when Vivian and Andrea were talking and Andrea said that she could not interfere with Theodore's free will."
Brenda reached across the table and took his hand in hers. "I will make you one promise, Andrew. I will never ever even consider suicide as an option." He smiled upon hearing these words and listened as she continued to speak. "The way I see it is if you hadn't have just listened to me, and talked to me during all of this, I would have continued to contemplate it as my only option. I think often that you did far more interfering than you could possibly realize and that helped make me realize that my life is a gift and for that, I'm grateful."
He squeezed her hand. "It was you who was open to what I had to say, so ultimately; you made the choice."
"I don't care who did what, the truth is, I will never forget you, not as long as I live. I love you, Andrew," she said softly.
"I love you too," he said gently and as he pulled his hand away, she realized that their conversation was drawing to a close and she would soon have to say good-bye.
"Will I ever see you again?" She asked after some moments of silence passed between them.
"Would you want to?" He answered her question with one of his own.
"You know I would," she said. "I don't care who it is you truly are, you're my friend, and I would hope that you would want to see me again, even before 'my time' comes."
"Then the answer to your question is yes, you will," he said and stood up. "It's time for me to go now, Brenda."
As they both stood up, she went to him and threw her arms around him. "Thank you," she said, the tears streaming down her cheeks. When their embrace loosened, she looked at him with a brave smile on her face. "Would you please tell Tess and Monica that I would miss them as well?"
"You honestly think we'd go without saying good-bye to you?" Tess' voice, and Brenda looked up to see that she and Monica had come inside the diner and were now standing behind Andrew.
Brenda smiled weakly. "I'm glad you didn't, but I don't know how to thank you for everything you've done for me."
"There's no reason to thank us, baby, it was our pleasure," Tess said gently and Monica nodded.
"You wrote a wonderful script, Tess," Brenda said sincerely. "I had such a wonderful time with this play, and learning such a special lesson through it."
"Yes, and I must say, you played our Angel Boy close to perfection," Tess said smiling. "If he ever loses his job, we just might have a good replacement for him."
Both Brenda and Andrew blushed, and Monica smiled as she began to speak. "It was a real role reversal, wasn't it, Brenda?"
"Yes, it was, but I think I'll leave the messages from God to the experts," Brenda said and smiled shyly. "I may play an angel on stage, but there's nothing compared to the real thing." Once she hugged them, she watched sadly as they walked away.
Andrew turned back one last time and smiled at her before he rejoined his friends and they disappeared outside.
*****
As the three angels got into Tess' prided convertible, Brenda watched them as they left, the tears beginning to stream down her face. She glanced up and could see that Zoe was now coming inside the diner.
"Hey, I thought you were going to come to the cast party?" She asked.
"Something else happened and I had a few things to take care of," Brenda said softly.
"Oh, well the party kind of wrapped up when Tess and Monica left. What about your friend Andrew? Is he gone too?" Zoe asked.
"Yeah," Brenda said sadly.
"Man you looked bummed about it. Maybe we should go and drink some cocoa at my place and you can tell me all about it," the other girl offered. "Besides, I heard that you were moving tomorrow and I thought maybe me and some of the guys could help you out with that. How much stuff you got?"
"Not very much, only a few things," she said. "It feels kind of weird going back to an empty apartment."
"Well, then you can stay the night with me, and we'll move you out tomorrow afternoon," Zoe said. "I'll even tell you the latest rumor."
"What?"
"You promise you won't tell anyone?" Zoe asked.
"No, who would I tell?" Brenda asked.
"OK, good enough. But, this is gonna blow your mind."
"Tell me already," Brenda said.
"I heard that Monica and Tess were real angels," Zoe said, her voice dramatic.
Brenda smiled weakly, but looked at the other girl. If she only knew, she thought to herself and took a sip of her cola. Instead she watched as Zoe looked back at her, shook her head and when she began to mutter, "nah, couldn't be," Brenda nearly burst out laughing.
*****
The following morning the three angels arrived in a neighboring town. As Tess pulled into a parking lot and they were getting out, Monica spoke. "So is this where our new assignment is, Tess?"
"Yes, this is the place," Tess said and as they got out of the car, she glanced over to see Andrew was still in the backseat and he had not yet moved. "Hey Angel Boy, you going to sit there and sprout mushrooms or are you ready to get a move on?"
"Sorry Tess, I was just thinking about something," he said softly.
"You'll see Brenda again, someday," Tess said. "I know you and her became close over the course of the assignment."
"I know I'll see her again one day," he said. "But, I'm still going to miss her, she's a very special person and she taught me as much as I believe I may have taught her."
"Two months in one place is rather long isn't it?" Monica asked sympathetically.
"Yes, it is, and it gives one the chance to actually become attached to a place," Andrew said. "The only question remaining in my mind is whether or not she will find the gift I left for her."
"What did you leave for her?" Tess asked.
"Just a small reminder," he smiled weakly and crawled out of the backseat and took a deep breath as he felt the warm sunshine beating down on him and enveloping him with God's love. This, if anything, made him truly ready to take on a new assignment.
As he followed his two friends inside a small two story building and the door closed behind them, he smiled and thanked God for giving him the chance to have worked with someone like Brenda these past months, and thanked Him for giving so much of His love to the young woman who needed it.
*****
Brenda was at the apartment she and Andrew had shared the following afternoon, and as she packed her things, she could feel an incredible emptiness overwhelming her. She packed the rest of her clothing in the suitcase and she finally reached down for the handle.
"Brenda, are you ready to go?" Zoe's voice filtered down the hall and into the room where she was packing her things. After she closed the suitcase, she slowly came out of the room. When Zoe saw the sadness in her friend's face, she continued speaking, her hand resting on Brenda's shoulder. "It's hard, isn't it?"
"Harder than I thought was possible," Brenda said and they came down the hallway and she stood in the living room. "It's funny, Zoe, this is where we worked on the lines for the play during the evenings, and today there's an emptiness in knowing he's not here."
"Do you have everything?" Zoe asked after a few moments of silence passed between them.
"I think so," Brenda walked slowly towards the door, but before she had gone through it and had stepped outside, Zoe spoke up causing her to stop in her tracks.
"Brenda, did you see this?" she asked. "I think maybe Andrew left it for you."
Brenda went over to the coffee table and picked up a small package that was resting there. She untied the red ribbon, and pulled the lid off the small white box. Inside, was a small golden charm bracelet. Three charms hung from it, and she blushed when she saw what they were. "Zoe, would you look at this?"
Zoe came over to her and looked at the charms. The first was a smiling and frowning theater mask which is a well known symbol for actors or theater people, the second was a tiny angel, and the third was the unusual symbol from the company stationary, which Andrew had given to her the night before. Underneath this bracelet was a small card with the words: "Never forget that you're an angel" written on it and a drawing of a smiling face underneath it.
Brenda put the bracelet on and looked at her friend as soon as it dangled from her wrist. "Zoe, they really were angels, the story you heard is real."
"Excuse me?" Zoe asked.
Brenda looked at her friend, and sighed, but a weak smile was on her face. "Never mind." As she looked around the small apartment, she smiled sadly and mouthed the words: "Good-bye Andrew," before stepping outside.
Once they both had left the apartment, Brenda closed the door, and watched as a dove took to flight over the building and disappeared in the distance. She held the small white box in one hand, the suitcase in the other. As they walked, she looked down as the sunlight reflected off the small golden bracelet she wore.
It was a gift from her friend, Andrew, and she knew that he was special. Not just because he was one of God's angels, but also because he had taken her in when the rest of the world had cast her out. He will always remain her trusted friend, and that is something precious regardless of who he really was.
At that moment, she suddenly realized that she had received many priceless gifts from her heavenly father, the main ones being the friendship and gifts of the angels, the love and acceptance He offered by sending his angels to her, and finally, her life.
As she contemplated this, she realized how little she had once valued her life, and she made a solemn promise, the same she had made to Andrew the night before. This promise was that she would never even contemplate throwing any of God's gifts away and it did not matter how hard life may get, she would remain steadfast in that affirmation.
In her heart, she would always hold onto those things with all the strength that was bestowed on her and with this affirmation in her mind, she smiled and left the apartment complex for the last time.
The
End
| Want to send
feedback?
Direct it to fictionfeedback (at) onthisside.net. Please put the
story title in the subject line. Thanks! |