A 'Touched by an Angel' story

By: Yvette Jessen

© 2001 and not intended to infringe on any previously held copyrights.

Please Note: This story is the sixth in a sequence of stories, which I have written, which are centered on my character, Christina, her family and friends. The first one is entitled ‘The Innocence of a Child’, the second ‘A Little Girl’s Wish’, the third ‘The Senior Prom’, the fourth 'Stealing Second', and the fifth 'Another Halloween Night'.

*****

It had been three days since Halloween and though 27-year-old Christina Thomas was feeling relatively good, she was also confused. She was happy about the fact that she had met Gene Andrews, but there were so many thoughts buzzing around in her mind that she wasn't certain anymore that meeting him was a good or bad thing.

There was no question in her mind, Gene was a really sweet guy, and she liked him, but just like Lindsey had noticed, he reminded her almost too much of Andrew, and this in turn brought back a number of memories which she would rather have stored away in her consciousness and never contemplated again. It was specifically, this disturbing incident when Kevin Miller had assaulted and nearly killed her. It was during that time Andrew, Tess and Monica had come back when she was 23. It had happened right before he had gotten into therapy for his alcohol addiction. She would never forget that in a drunken fit of rage, he had assaulted her with a switchblade knife and nearly killed her.

Seeing Mr. Miller today on the streets of her neighborhood was not easy for her, and though she had forgiven him, she could not let go of the fact that he had once tried to kill her. It was, for Christina, even harder than meeting Gene for coffee because every time she actually did see Kevin Miller, she was strangely reminded of what had happened in the park. All the therapy in the world was not going to change the fact that when she saw him, she was instantly reminded of this and to this day, seeing him completely horrified her.

At any rate, she was glad that Kevin had gotten through the detoxification therapy and today he shared a wonderful relationship with his two children; both of who were special friends of Christina and her family. However, it was even more difficult because Christina flatly refused to discuss with Lindsey or Tommy what their father had tried to do to her. It was too selfish to even try, she finally concluded, but this did little to stop the difficult questions about Andrew from buzzing around in her mind.

Now, she was sitting in her kitchen stirring the coffee around in the cup, and looking down at a notebook with her newest case in it. She sighed deeply and pushed the notebook away. Thankfully, it was Friday and she would not have to deal with this case until Monday. She reached for the cup and took a sip, the liquid had long since gone cold and tasted awful. She returned the cup to the table, but after a few minutes, she stood up and went over to the sink to pour the remainder of the coffee out.

The truth was, even though she was now a child psychologist, she sometimes wondered if she needed a psychologist to talk out these feelings she had been harboring off and on since she was 23. Then again, who in their right mind would have believed her? She smiled slightly as she thought about what she might actually say.

My name is Christina Thomas, and my dearest friend in the world is Andrew, he's an angel, and on top of that, he's an Angel of Death. I met him the first time on Halloween when I was seven years old. I had left my classmates and was running home when I tripped in the park and fell down. He came over and helped me to my feet and since then, he's been there for me and helped me through some of the most difficult times in my life.

At least until that day after he returned to help the two neighbor kids when I was 23. The father was an alcoholic and he nearly stabbed me to death. I'll never forget that day as long as I live. All Andrew could do was stand there and watch while I was being dragged through the mud, and was screaming for help. Oh sure, he glowed brilliantly, and he looked so handsome in his beige suit, but why didn't he help me? I thought he was my friend. I mean I know that he's not supposed to get involved in the affairs of people; free will and all that, but I just can't let go of the fact that he was there and appeared powerless over what had been happening to me. Did it not seem at least a little strange to him to see me frightened out of my mind, and unable to do anything?

Her thoughts turned to Lindsey and Tommy. Now the boy insisted that she call him Tom, but she could not bring herself to get used to this. I mean if it were either of those kids, I'd have tried to do something, not just stand there. She wiped her hand over her face, and could feel the tears beginning to fall from her eyes. My best friend, she thought sadly, and I almost died right there in front of him. How come?

She dabbed a tissue over her eyes as left the kitchen, the papers she left on the table and she walked down the hall and into the living room. Once she sat down, she grabbed a blanket from off the sofa and wrapped it around her body as she reached for the remote control for the television set. After some moments, she returned it to the table, her thoughts continuing to encompass her.

I wish I could understand all of this, she thought sadly. She had seen Andrew only three days ago, but her thoughts then had been on petty things, not the real questions that had been raging havoc on her emotions. Now he's gone and I'm left without any answers or resolutions in all of this, she thought sadly. Who knows how many years I would have to wait until Andrew would be able to come back and sit down and help me make heads or tails of all of this?

"God," she spoke to the stillness as she closed her eyes. "I don't know what to do anymore. Please can you help me? I've got so many questions, and so many confusing thoughts raging through my mind. I don't know what's wrong with me. I can't forget what happened with Mr. Miller five years ago, but I also can't reconcile that Andrew just stood there unable to help me." She sighed deeply as she continued. "I know he's not supposed to get involved with what happens here, but we never had a chance to really talk about this, and I don't even know where I would start or if my feelings about it are OK or just insane. Please, help me try to make some sense out of this. I'm trying to put this all in your hands, because there I know it will at least get resolved. I just don't know when or where, but I have to believe that you have all the answers and one day you will somehow help me find the solutions I need. Please, God, let it be soon, I don't know how much longer I can contemplate all of this without going out of my mind. Thank you, I love you!"

After saying her prayer, she was somehow afraid to open her eyes. Partly because the last time she remembered distinctly having prayed about Andrew, he had appeared right next to her and promised to help her. She would always remember the chapel at the hospital where she had gone to pray when she was 10. She could not forget that right after she had prayed, that he had suddenly appeared right next to her and comforted her in her fear. She would never forget how her brother, Bryan, had been in a coma. She shook her head trying to block the memory.

As she tried to refocus on the present, she simply could not even begin to grasp the idea that Andrew would actually drop everything and come to answer her questions. Deep in her heart, she hoped that he would understand that she was confused about everything and needed some help.

After a few seconds, she opened her eyes and sighed sadly. Andrew was not there; somehow she knew he wouldn't be. She grabbed the blanket and dragged it to her bedroom. There was nothing on television anyway and she had no desire to even sit in the living room and wait for someone who probably would not be able to come anyway. Even if he did, she would not know what to say to him and how to express those feelings that were causing her so much internal pain.

She closed her bedroom door and walked over to the bed and crawled under the covers. As soon as she was comfortable, she reached for a small paperback novel she had been reading and opened it. Moments later, she tossed the book to the floor and turned off the light.

It would be some hours before sleep would come.

*****

The sunlight was filtering through the window the following morning and Christina opened her eyes. She was still very tired, and her inability to sleep had left its impact on her. As the telephone rang, she reached over to pick it up.

"Hello?"

"Christina, hello it's Gene, do you have some time tomorrow afternoon to get together with me?" the friendly voice came over the line.

"I don't know. I have to work on a case, and need some time to work through some personal stuff," she said weakly.

"OK," he said. "Is everything OK? You sound tired."

"I'm fine, I just had a bad night is all," she said. "I laid in bed tossing and turning all night, and I guess I'm not up to seeing anyone right now. Please don't be angry."

"No, I understand," he said. "Take care and I'll call you tomorrow morning and see how you're doing then."

As she hung up, she closed her eyes.

"If you're not up to seeing anyone, maybe I should go, too," a familiar voice entered into her thoughts and she opened her eyes.

"Andrew," she smiled weakly.

"Hello Christina," he said gently.

She immediately looked down at her lap, but after a few moments, she managed to look back up at him. "I didn't think I'd see you so soon after we saw each other on Halloween."

"I've known for some time that something was not setting right with you," he said gently. "It wasn't until last night that I made the decision to come back and try and resolve it."

She shook her head. "Sometimes I think I'm going crazy."

"No you're not," he whispered sadly. "The questions and feelings you have are completely real and valid."

"But why do I feel so silly about them?" she asked weakly.

"You shouldn't, Christina, you have no reason to," he said gently.

"But I do, I mean, every time I even think about that day, I become even more confused," she shook her head sadly as the tears escaped from beneath her eyelids. "Have you ever just started to question why things happen as they do? I mean even though you try to keep the faith that things will be OK, but internally, you're questioning everything. At the very least, that is what has been happening with me."

"You know you can talk to me about everything. I would never turn away from you because you speak honestly with me. Especially when it involves something as important as trying to understand something that has happened," he said and reached over and touched her shoulder. "Please talk to me, I'm your friend."

"Are you?" she asked the words emerging before she could stop them. As they hung in the stillness of her room, she looked down at her lap immediately regretting having said them. After some moments, she glanced back up at him and could see that he had a dejected look in his eyes. Her heart almost broke when she realized the extent her brutal honestly was leaving on him.

"What happened, Christina, you never doubted this before?" he asked softly.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I shouldn't have said that."

"There's a reason why you did," he said gently, "please tell me."

The tears began to stream down her cheeks, and her hands began to tremble. "I-I just can't forget what happened with Kevin Miller," she took a staggering breath. "No matter how hard I try, I can't forget that you stood there and watched him assault me, and that you didn't do anything. I don't know if you couldn't have helped or if you just didn't want to." She glanced up at him and shook her head sadly. "Even today, I still don't know."

Andrew sat down on the edge of the bed and took her hands gently in his and held them tightly. "I wanted to, Christina, please believe me, I really wanted to, but I couldn't. You remember when I told you that I couldn't get involved in things that happen here?" She nodded and he continued. "That's why I didn't get involved. It wasn't because I didn't want to, I wanted to protect you more than anything else, but I couldn't."

She looked down at her lap as he spoke, but after some moments of silence passed, she looked back over at him. "You did?"

He nodded. "Yes, it was my greatest wish at that moment to help you. It was so hard for me to stand there and watch you being hurt like that. Afterwards, I had hoped that you would always understand how much I love and care for you, and I thought you knew this. I had hoped that what had happened wouldn't have changed that, but I realized last night when I heard your prayer, that somehow it did."

"I'm so confused," she said weakly and shook her head.

"I know, and I'm sorry that I wasn't able to do anything more for you than what I did," he said and could feel the tears in his own eyes.

Christina looked at him and when she could see the tears, she sighed sadly. "I didn't want to say something that would hurt you," she said softly.

"I know you didn't," he said through his own tears. "But, I understand your pain, Christina, I wish only that you had tried to do something about it before now, that you had talked to me about it."

"When could I have done that?" she asked weakly. "I wanted to tell you three days ago, but Lindsey was there, and neither she nor Tommy know about what had happened to me, and I can't bring myself to tell them about it. It's their father, and I knew that this would have completely devastated them. Besides, if I had mentioned it on Halloween, then Lindsey would have found out about what her father had done and she would have felt pressured to choose between him or me." She shook her head. "I couldn't have done that to her, it would have been too selfish of me to do so. I mean she needs her dad, and I know that he's not the same person he was, but for me the memory is still there, it will probably always be there."

"You have always looked out for other people and not for yourself, and when you needed someone to look out for you, the friends you needed were not there," he could feel his voice cracking as he continued speaking, the words becoming all the more difficult for him to say. "You needed me to be there to protect you, but I couldn't even do that."

Christina nodded numbly.

"I'm sorry, Christina, I'm so sorry," he whispered sadly.

She could see that he was visibly shaken by this conversation and when she saw the tears streaming down his cheeks, she crawled over to him and wrapped her arms around him. "Maybe I shouldn't have said those things," she whispered softly as he began to weep softly and she tightened her hold on him. "I know you're my friend, Andrew. I've always known."

He continued to cry and she rested her hand against his soft blonde hair. She remembered how often he would stroke her head when she was sad, and as if driven by impulse, she began to run her hand across his hair, the silkiness of it somehow caressing her fingertips.

She could remember as a child how he had stayed with her after Bryan's accident, and that he had been there to calm her when she was hysterical from having been raped. The comfort he had given to her had been the most wonderful gift she could have asked for. Now, he was crying in her arms, his helplessness evident, and his pain overwhelming.

"Dear God," she whispered. "Please forgive me for having upset Andrew, it was never my intention to hurt him. Thank you, I love you."

Somehow, Christina realized that as it had been terrifying for her to experience these things, she could see that this had hurt him deeply as well and that he had to endure the pain of being what he is, and thus being bound to respecting the free will of humanity.

She continued to stroke his hair, her thoughts continuing to drift. An angel, she thought to herself as his weeping continued, a beautiful angel and she held him tightly in her arms. She suddenly remembered how magnificent he had looked in the park, how the soft radiance of the glow of God's love somehow compelled her to say those words that essentially saved her life. It suddenly became clear to her that Andrew had actually done something, he had in fact, done much more than anyone could have asked of him. He did help her; he had shown her God's love when she needed to feel it the most.

"Andrew, please don't cry," she finally whispered. "You did help me when Mr. Miller was assaulting me, it's just that during that time, neither of us were aware of the fact that you had."

He looked up at her, but shook his head miserably. "Christina, I couldn't have."

"But you did," she said gently and smiled weakly at him. "When I looked up and saw you standing near the swing set and I saw the light that encompassed you, I found the courage to pray. It wouldn't have happened otherwise, because I was so scared. I didn't think about God or His love for me, all I could think about was how my life had flashed before my eyes, and that I was so frightened."

"I was only there because I thought you were going to die," he said softly. "That's why I was there, and why you saw what you did, Christina."

"You told me when I was seven years old that even though an Angel of Death shows up, that doesn't mean someone is going to die," she said softly. "If I can remember those words, then you can as well, right?"

He nodded.

"Well, maybe God sent you to that place to remind me that through Him, I could find the courage to face what was happening. If you hadn't have been there, then you would have broken a promise you made to me 12 years ago," she whispered.

"I would have?"

She nodded as she reached for a tissue on the nightstand and handed it to him. "You told me when I was fifteen that when my day comes, that you would be with me and you would take me home. You were with me when I had pneumonia. Then when Mr. Miller assaulted me, you were also there, but I'm still alive and well."

Andrew wiped the tissue over his face, and brushed the tears away. "Is this really how you feel?" he asked and she could hear the uncertainty in his voice.

She nodded and smiled at him. "I really do, Andrew, and you are my best friend."

They hugged and he looked at her gratefully, "thank you, Christina."

"What for?" she asked weakly.

"For understanding, and accepting who I am, and why I didn't do for you what I wished I could," he said.

She shrugged her shoulders. "No great credit to me, I'm just returning the favor for all the times that you have been there for me. No one could have asked for a more special friendship." She looked outside the window and could see the blue sky and the sun shining through it. "I'm really grateful to you for coming and talking to me about this. I know it was probably a hard thing for you to do."

"For you as well," he said gently.

"You know it's funny, now things seem to be resolved, we're both here, and you didn't just disappear," she smiled shyly. "I don't suppose you get a day off from your uhjob now and then, do you?"

"I do, and today happens to be one of those days," he said and smiled at her.

"Would you like to spend the day with me?" she asked. "I don't remember ever having spent time with you when there wasn't something completely wrong in my life. I guess that sounds crazy, but I think it'd be nice to just go to the seaside and watch the waves crash against the shore, or to have a picnic and not have to worry about how hard life can sometimes be."

He smiled. "Christina, that sounds really nice, and I'd love it."

Her eyes lit up, "you would?"

"Mm-hum," he nodded and smiled. "I suppose you have a reason to get out of bed now."

Christina laughed as she looked down at herself. She still wore her pajamas, and her hair was completely ruffled.

"I'll see to breakfast," he said as he stood up.

She nodded and once he left the room, she crawled out of bed and walked over to the closet. As she began to dig through the clothing that was hanging, her hand brushed against a white lace dress and she smiled as she pulled it from the closet. This was the dress that Tess had given to her when she was 15. It had belonged to Monica, but after she had gone into the hospital, she had completely forgotten about it.

She ran her hand along the soft fabric and smiled. "I can't believe I still have this," she mumbled to herself as she began to spin through the room like a small child holding the dress to her chest. Now that she was grown, she knew it would fit perfectly.

*****

Within fifteen minutes, she came out of the bathroom wearing the white dress, her hair brushed out of her eyes and she had tied it back with a matching ribbon. She walked into the kitchen and could see that Andrew had already set the table and was standing in front of the stove. He turned and smiled as she came into the kitchen.

"Do you remember this dress?" she asked.

"Yes, it was Monica's," he said. "I guess when we left, she forgot to take it with her."

"I'm glad she did," Christina said. "It makes up for that prom gown that got ruined in the rain. Actually, I had forgotten that it was even here. I guess I saw it when I moved away from home, but I haven't worn it since I was 15." As she looked down at herself, and then back up at him, she smiled. "I've been thinking how all this must be so weird for you."

"How so?" he asked.

"I don't know how to explain it, but over the years you've seen me grow up, but yet, you don't change a bit. You're still the same as I remember you to have been when I was seven. That was 20 years ago, and yet I can still remember when we talked about my grandma and the music, and how you hate Halloween because it reminds you of how people perceive death," she smiled as she shook her head. "Every time we talk to each other, I feel like internally, I'm still that little girl, the one in that fairy costume, crying because the kids were cruel and unkind. Yet, the moment you leave, I look in the mirror and I realize that I'm getting older, and I'm not that child anymore."

"But that child is always inside of you, Christina," he said gently. "It doesn't matter if you're physically 80, all that matters is that you recognize that there is a child which dwells within you."

"Maybe so, but there's one thing I wish," she said softly.

"What's that?" he asked as they sat down at the table.

"I wish I could age as gracefully as you do," she smiled impishly and he laughed.

As they sat together in companionable silence, Christina smiled, but within moments, the doorbell chimed and she stood up. "I wonder who that could be?"

"Maybe you should go check," he said.

She nodded and went to open the door. Her sister-in-law and brother were standing on the other side. "Bryan, Rachel, what's up?"

"You were supposed to meet us this morning for breakfast," Bryan said. "That's 'what's up'."

Christina's face paled as she suddenly remembered that she had agreed to have breakfast with them before they were to be leaving to go on vacation. Sighing sadly she looked at her brother apologetically, "I'm sorry, Bryan, I completely forgot. If I had remembered, I would have called you. I've just had a lot on my mind."

"You look a little frazzled, are you sure you're OK?" Bryan asked.

"Yeah, I'm OK now," she said softly. "I'm so sorry about breakfast. You know I had been looking forward to it."

"It's no big deal, Christina," Bryan began. "That's why we came by, we wanted to make sure you were OK."

Rachel looked at her. "Can we come in?"

"Ohuh yeah, sure," Christina nodded and backed up so they could come inside.

"What's going on? I smell bacon and eggs," Rachel said and though Christina could not yet smell the eggs cooking, she knew that Rachel's senses were much keener than her own. She guessed that it was because Rachel was deaf and had to use her other senses to compensate for the one she did not have. "You're not burning your breakfast, are you?"

"Well, I sort of have company today, that's why I forgot about breakfast. Anyway, he's kind of helping me with that," Christina said and Bryan looked at her skeptically.

"Who is it?" Bryan asked; his eyes twinkling as he looked at his little sister. "Come on you can't keep a secret from me."

"Oh Bryan, get off it," Christina laughed. "It's just Andrew, so you can cool your jets with your matchmaking schemes."

"You're not dying, are you?" Bryan asked half seriously and reached over to touch her forehead. She could see his smiling face and laughed. It was a running gag between them and no secret because the entire family knew that Andrew was an Angel of Death. Even though Bryan was always happy to see Andrew, it was clear that Christina's brother would become a little worried whenever the angel would suddenly show up.

"I'm dying, yeah, right," she smiled and shook her head. "Listen, you know that Andrew and I have been friends for over 20 years, so get real. If I was sick and dying, you'd be the first to know, because I'd have to demand your undivided attention at my bedside," she smiled wickedly. "Complete with massaging my feet and reading me bedtime stories." They all laughed as she continued. "Andrew's got the day off. Now, come on, he's in the kitchen slaving over a hot stove, and I'm about to die of hunger."

Rachel looked at Bryan coyly, "she's got the Angel of Death cooking breakfast? Oh this I've got to see."

Bryan burst out laughing and they followed Christina into the kitchen.

Andrew smiled when they came in, but he looked over at Rachel and began to sign something to her. After a few seconds Christina watched as Rachel's face flushed red and the woman hid her face in her hands.

Christina watched the reaction of her sister-in-law and then she looked at Andrew. "What did you tell her?"

Andrew gave her the look that reminded her of the cat that ate the canary and Bryan was, by this time, laughing so hard he had tears streaming down his cheeks. "That's rich," he said as he tried to hide his amusement from his wife.

"Andrew, what did you tell her?" Christina asked again, her voice emerging from somewhere between exasperation and pouting.

Rachel looked at Christina; "he told me that he had never poisoned anyone with his cooking before and that it wouldn't kill me to try it sometime."

Christina laughed and looked at Andrew, "you heard what she said out in the hallway?"

He smiled weakly, "well, when I hear the words 'Angel of Death' in a sentence, I tend to pay extra close attention."

They all laughed and sat down at the table.

*****

After breakfast, Bryan emptied his coffee cup. "You know, you make a pretty mean cup of coffee," he smiled wickedly.

"Well, Monica's a big fan of it, so I guess I have to," Andrew said and returned the smile.

Christina looked at her brother, "what time do you guys leave for your vacation?"

"We fly out tonight at nine, in fact we've got to get home and pack," Rachel said smiling.

"Yeah, it's too bad we can't fly out tomorrow," Bryan said smiling mischievously. "I'd have loved to stick around and talk life, death, and coffee beans with you guys."

"Christina told me that you are expecting a child," Andrew said.

"Yeah, in three months you won't even recognize her," Bryan said laughing. "She'll have all the markings of a beach ball."

Rachel pretended to pout, but she looked at her husband. "You'd better be careful, Buster, we already have an Angel of Death here in this very room, so we wouldn't have to call out for his services!"

Christina looked at Andrew and laughed when she saw his face, "She's just being sarcastic," she whispered between her giggles and he relaxed. "Actually, I'm looking forward to being an aunt. I already have a my stories ready to read when it's bedtime."

"I think it's wonderful," Andrew said sincerely. "I hope that I will be able to come and see you all after the birth."

Rachel's face paled.

"No, I didn't mean it that way," he said trying to hide his exasperation. " I assure you, it would only be when I have the day off. I would be here simply as a friend."

Rachel smiled somewhat embarrassed. "Sorry," she muttered. "In that case, I'm sure he or she would love to meet you."

They all laughed as Bryan and Rachel stood up to go. "It's been a gas," Bryan began, as they were about to leave the kitchen. "I'm glad we got to see you again, Andrew."

"I am too," Rachel said smiling. "I wish we could stay longer, but I've got to do all the packing and I don't think this bum is going to help me with it."

"You know him well," Christina said as she began to giggle.

Once Christina had shown them out, she returned to the kitchen. Once she came in she smiled at Andrew. "My brother has been working to develop his sense of humor."

"He's doing pretty good," Andrew said and stood up.

"Rule one about dealing with us when nothing is wrong, we're a bit goofy, and shouldn't be taken too seriously," she smiled weakly. "I noticed that you looked a bit nervous back there, that's why I'm telling you this now. Sorry about not giving you a proper warning."

"I'll try to remember that," he said smiling. "Are you ready to go to the beach?"

She nodded. "Now that everything's OK, I am really ready. What about the kitchen?"

"I'll take care of that before I leave tonight," he said and they left the kitchen

As they came outside, Andrew smiled when he felt the sunshine against his face. It was really a nice day, not too cold; the birds could be heard chirping in the trees, the warmth evident in everything. Christina looked at him, her face flushed with happiness.

She pulled the keys to her small car from her purse. "You want to trust me behind the wheel?" she asked with a smile.

Andrew laughed and nodded. "You drive there, I'll drive back."

Christina smiled, that seemed an even exchange.

*****

Two hours later, they were sitting on the beach; Christina was smiling brightly as she watched the waves crashing along the shoreline. They had already eaten their picnic lunch, now the afternoon sunshine was cascading down on them. She looked over at Andrew; he was staring at a small group of boys who were out on the rough water surfing. Strangely, he was looking at them rather intently, but she eventually dismissed it as she stretched out on the towel she had brought with them.

Above her she could see the seagulls flying, their calls giving the place a sense of peacefulness. She sighed contentedly as she closed her eyes. "Isn't this just like heaven on Earth?" she asked as she dug her toes in the sand.

It somehow did not matter to her that Andrew had not answered her question, she simply felt good to be out there on the white beach, the sand soft and cool between her toes. After a few moments of silence, she abruptly sat back up on the towel and reached for her sandals. Once she had put them back on her feet, she released another contented sigh. This had been such a good idea, she thought to herself, but when she looked back over at Andrew, she could see a sad look of contemplation on his face.

He appeared to be deep in thought about something, and somehow she knew this look, he was worried. Her eyes followed his gaze and it came to land on the five or six boys who were frolicking in the surf. "Andrew, what's wrong?" she finally asked.

He shook his head, but when he felt her hand on his shoulder, he turned and looked at her. "Christina, I just got an assignment."

"But, I thought…" her voice trailed as she saw one of the boys who had been surfing. He had suddenly wiped out near a large rock that was sticking up out of the water. She could feel the cool autumn breeze against her arm, but when she glanced over to where Andrew had been sitting next to her, she realized that he was now gone and she was seated there alone.

Some moments later, she opened her eyes and sighed deeply as one of the boys came running towards her.

"Miss, you got a cell phone?" the boy asked, his voice sounding out of breath and etched in fear. "It's an emergency."

"What happened?"

"My brother just wiped out, he hasn't come up yet, and our friends are trying to find him. I think we need an ambulance…" his voice trailed, but she could clearly see the fright on his face.

"It's OK," Christina said calmly. "Sit down, try to calm down, I'll call them."

"You know who to call?" he asked. She knew he was beside himself with worry because otherwise he would have realized that in any emergency; one would call 911.

She dialed the number quickly, and when the operator came on the line, she spoke, trying to keep her voice level and calm. "Yes, could you please send an ambulance to the Southside Beach?" A pause. "Yes, a young boy got injured out there surfing, I can't see him from here, but I saw it happen," another pause. "No, I don't know, I just saw him go under, yes, his brother's here." She turned to the boy. "What's your brother's name?"

"Bobby," the boy said. "I mean, Robert Davies."

Christina offered this information to the operator and after a few moments had passed she thanked her and hung up the phone. She returned the phone to her bag and stood up. "They're on their way, but I think we should go and see if we can find and help your brother."

The boy's face was pale, but he nodded and allowed Christina to help him off the ground. "I know we shouldn't have been out there today," he said softly. "It was so stupid, but Bobby wanted to go. He said he wanted to catch the big wave."

"Listen to me, right now is not the time to worry about placing blame," Christina said softly, her voice filled with understanding. "We have to concentrate on finding and helping your brother. What's your name?"

"Simon," he said softly.

"My name's Christina, and we will find him. I know generally where he is because I saw him wipe out, so all we have to do is go to that part of the beach," she said trying to offer him an encouraging smile.

"How can you be so calm about all this?" he asked his voice bordering on hysterical and her heart went out to the boy, he could not have been older than 14.

"Well, let's just say I have a hunch that your brother is being watched over by an angel," she said as they broke into a run and ran towards where she had last seen his brother. She looked out across the water and when she saw the white T-shirt of the boy glimmering in the sun, she turned back to Simon, "I see him, he's out there," she said urgently as she began to remove the sandals from her feet.

"You're going out there? Are you crazy?" the boy asked.

"Maybe I am a little crazy, but I also know that I stand a better chance out there then you. If I don't go out there, no one will, and your brother will die," she smiled weakly. "I'm sorry I have to say this, but there's no time to discuss it, I think you should stay here and wait for the paramedics."

"Whatever you say, but be careful, it's really rough out there," he said weakly.

"Don't worry, I'll be careful, and I will bring him back, I promise."

Simon nodded as Christina ran to the water's edge. Standing there, she quickly bunched up the skirt of her dress and waded out through the cold water. After the water had come up to her hips, she allowed the skirt to fall back down and the water swirled around her. When she got close enough and could see Robert, she saw that he was floating facedown in the water. Once she reached him, the water was up to her waist and she could see that Andrew was now next to the boy whispering to him. She smiled weakly at the angel and attempted to turn the boy over so that his face would be out of the water.

As she did, she wrapped her arm around his waist and tried to haul him through the water and towards the beach. She could see that he had an injury on his forehead, but otherwise it appeared as though he had simply swallowed a bit too much water. "Andrew, he's heavy, can't you help me?" she asked, and after some moments of hesitation, she looked desperately at him.

Andrew was sadly shaking his head and her conversation with him from that morning suddenly came back. He had told her that it was all about free will. Robert had gone out there by his own choice, and the consequences he will face could only come about by the free will of other humans, and not from angels. Andrew was there to help that boy because he faced the possibility of dying and the events following her assault returned to her mind. There had been two men who had helped her by attacking Kevin Miller.

The understanding overcame her, but without thinking further on this issue, she continued to pull the boy along, her arms becoming tired. When they reached the water's edge, Christina laid the boy gently on the sand and dropped to her knees, her breathing heavy, and her body now cold from her swim in the ocean. In the distance, she could see the paramedics coming up the beach with Simon. Andrew was still next to Robert, and she could see him and she glanced up and smiled weakly at him.

"Did you administer CPR yet?" one of the paramedics asked her when he got to where she was sitting in the sand on her knees.

"No," she sputtered, "I haven't the breath…I just now…pulled him out…of the water."

"Please help my brother, Mister," Simon begged the paramedic.

"He will, Simon," she managed to say, and watched as the paramedic got down on his knees beside Robert and began to administer CPR.

The second paramedic raced back to the ambulance and got a stretcher and brought it over to his colleague. The equipment needed to help the boy was brought out as well, and within a minute, Christina's heart was caught in her throat when she could hear the boy beginning to cough, the water spilling from his mouth.

Simon looked at the paramedic, fear in his eyes.

"He's going to be OK," the paramedic said. By this time, he had gone and got a heavy wool blanket from the ambulance and this he gave to Christina. "Thanks to this young woman. What's your name?"

"Christina Thomas," she whispered still trying to catch her breath as she wrapped the blanket around herself.

"You saved his life, you know?" the second paramedic said as they got Robert up onto a stretcher.

"I was just lucky, I guess," she said weakly.

Simon looked at her, his eyes wide, "you're an angel, Christina, thank you."

Christina smiled weakly when she could see Robert starting to open his eyes. "He's really going to be OK, Simon."

The paramedic smiled at her as they rolled Robert away. Simon followed them away as the first paramedic spoke. "Yes, thanks to you, but I'd suggest you get some dry clothes on and get warm, it's supposed to get colder and it would be horrible if you were to catch your death out here."

Christina nodded and watched as the paramedics got the boy into the ambulance and eventually they drove away, the sirens blaring. She was left still sitting on the beach; it was at that moment that she began to weep softly, her hands covering her face. "Dear God, I was so scared," she cried, the adrenaline rush now at an end and her body completely worn and exhausted. "I was so frightened."

It wasn't until she felt a hand on her shoulder that she remembered Andrew had come to the beach with her. In all the excitement, she had forgotten that he had even there with her. She turned around and saw him standing behind her. He got down on his knees and smiled weakly at her.

She was still crying when he took her in his arms and held her gently. "Are you OK?" he asked after a few moments of silence passed between them.

She nodded numbly. "II think so," she finally whispered as he released her. "What about Robert?"

"He'll be fine," he said gently. "You saved his life, Christina."

She tried to wrap the blanket even more snugly around herself and smiled weakly at him. "S-so much for a relaxing day at the beach, huh?" she said and suddenly she could feel his arms now holding her again. "I was so scared," she whispered, her voice cracking.

"I know," he said gently. "I could see the fear in your eyes out there."

"Andrew, I think I finally understand what you meant about free will," she whispered and sneezed. "I was the only one who could have helped Robert, right?"

"Yes, and though I'm glad you realized this, I didn't intend for you to discover it this way," he smiled gently at her as he stood up and offered his hands to her. "Come on, I'll take you home."

"OK," she said. "I think I've had enough of the beach for one day."

"I know, and it's getting colder. Let me help you," he said and once she managed to stand up. He put his arms around her and led her back to where their belongings were.

As they were gathering their things together, she looked down at the dress she was wearing. "Why is it whenever I put this on, I end up getting wet?" she asked weakly.

Andrew smiled, and once all their belongings were collected, she handed him the keys to the car and smiled gratefully when she recalled that he had agreed to drive them back. At this moment, Christina was so shaken up that she seriously doubted whether she would be able to drive at all.

As they reached the car, Andrew could see some of the boys who had been with Robert and Simon. "Hey," one of them called out to Andrew as they came over to them. "Is that the lady that saved Robert's life?"

"Yes, this is Christina," Andrew replied.

"Man, how can we thank you, Christina?" one of the boys said. "We don't know what we would have done without you."

"Yeah," added another.

She raised her head and spoke, her voice barely above a whisper. "My thanks would be that you guys not try to go out surfing when the water is as rough as it was today."

The boys nodded and made their way back up the beach. As soon as Andrew had helped her into the car and she had sat down in the passenger side, her energy finally giving out and she fell asleep.

*****

Once they reached the apartment, Andrew cut the engine and got out of the car. He walked around to the other side and opened the door. Christina was still sleeping, and he touched her shoulder. "Christina, we're back."

She sighed deeply but eventually opened her eyes. As she tried to get out of the car, she could see that he had once again offered his hand to her. They went quickly up the walk and inside the apartment. "I'm a wreck," she muttered to herself.

Andrew smiled, "nothing that a warm bath and a good night's sleep won't fix."

"Can you help me? Is it possible for you to stay here tonight? My brother is gone, and my parents are across town. I'm so cold and afraid," she said softly and shook her head.

"I'll stay with you," he said gently as she turned on the light. "Today was hardly what either of us expected."

Christina nodded and went into the bathroom and decided instead to take a shower. The last thing she needed to do was to take a bath and run the risk of drowning in the tub if she were to fall asleep.

As soon as she was done showering, she dressed in her pajamas and put on her terry cloth robe. As she came out of the bathroom and went into the bedroom, her head was literally spinning as she collapsed onto the bed, her exhaustion evident as she did not take off the robe or crawl under the covers.

Andrew came into the bedroom with a cup filled with hot tea, and when he saw her lying on the bed, he put the cup on the nightstand and began to help her get comfortable under the covers. As she lay there, she opened her eyes only slightly. "Thank you," she mumbled.

"I should be thanking you, for making my job easier," he said gently as he brushed her hair from her eyes.

"I did?" she asked weakly.

"That boy was young, only 15 and it would have broken my heart to have to take him home, today," Andrew said gently.

She nodded numbly. "All I kept thinking about was what I said to you this morning, and how horrible I feel about it. I'm sorry I hurt you. I didn't mean to make you cry."

"I know you didn't," he said gently. "Now, it's time for you to get some sleep."

"Don't leave, Andrew. Please."

"I won't, we can talk some more tomorrow," he said, but leaned over and kissed her forehead. "I'll be right here, just try to get some rest, Christina."

She closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep.

As promised, Andrew remained at her side, and some time later, he could see that Monica appeared in the room. "What are you doing here?" he asked her.

"We saw what happened today at the beach. Specifically how Christina had saved that boy's life," Monica said gently. "Tess said that it looks as though you will have to stay a little bit longer."

"I know," he said and looked down at Christina as she slept.

"She's not going to get sick, is she?" Monica asked; her expression filled with worry.

"I don't think so, but I think emotionally, she's about to have a collapse," he said gently. "This can sometimes be more serious than a physical illness. Today brought everything back to her. It will be hard these next few days."

Monica nodded, "well, if you need either of us, Tess told me to tell you that you'll know where we'll be. Take care of her." She smiled at him reassuringly.

Andrew nodded as his friend disappeared.

*****

The night passed relatively slowly, Andrew remained with Christina and watched over her. He was grateful that she showed no signs of illness, contrary to her swim in the ocean. He wondered almost constantly about the thoughts that were going through her mind. She really was fragile at this moment, more so than he ever remembered her to have been.

As she began to thrash around in bed, he reached over and took her hand gently in his and held it. When she quieted, he released her hand. This happened more than once during the night, and when the morning sun finally shone through the window, he smiled when she opened her eyes.

"Hi," she said softly.

"How do you feel?" he asked gently.

"OK," she said honestly and looked into his worried eyes. "Emotionally, I feel terrible, like I need counseling myself." She shook her head sadly. "Andrew, why did everything happen yesterday? I had nightmares again last night for the first time in over three years."

"I know, and you did seem pretty deeply involved in them too. I tried to comfort you as best I could without waking you," he said.

"I'm afraid, for the first time in a long time, I'm really scared," she said weakly.

"I know, you experienced something traumatic yesterday, and it's only natural for that to trigger all these other things that have happened to you," he said gently.

She nodded numbly. "I thought I had let go of all those things."

"I know, and for the most part, you did. But, yesterday reminded you of a lot of things, and now those things are as real to you now as they were the day they happened," he said softly.

"Now, you sound like me when I'm dealing with a patient," she said smiling weakly.

"I'm only telling you the truth," he said gently as the phone rang.

"That's probably Gene, he said he would call today to see how I'm doing," she whispered and reached for the phone. "Hello?"

"Hi Christina, it's Gene," the voice on the other end of the line confirmed her suspicion. "How are you doing?"

"Not too hot, but I'll live," she said. "Did you still want to get together this afternoon?"

"Actually, that's the reason I'm calling. I'm not in town anymore, I had to drive back to Detroit last night," he said softly.

"But I thought you were going to be here until next weekend," she objected.

"I know and for that I'm really sorry, but the firm called and they needed me to come back and fix some emergency machines. I just got in half an hour ago and I'm exhausted, but I wanted to call you and explain."

"You don't have to explain anything to me, Gene, I wouldn't have been able to meet you today anyway," she began. "Something happened yesterday and I'm kind of sick. When will you be back to visit your brother? Maybe we can get together then."

"It probably won't be for a few months, but when I do, I'd like to see you again," he said.

"I'd like that, too," she said softly.

"That's a relief," he said. "Anyway, you take care, and I'll be in touch." Before she could say anything else to him, he had hung up.

Christina replaced the receiver and sighed deeply. "He's gone," she said softly. "I guess it's no big deal since I didn't know him all that well anyway. I've come to the conclusion that I'm pretty much destined to be alone for the rest of my life."

"Why do you believe that?" Andrew asked.

"I guess because of yesterday, I realized that Robert may have a lot of people around to support him, but he doesn't really have anyone to help him. Why does it always seem like a stranger must always come to help, and not a friend?" She could feel the tears beginning to stream down her cheeks.

"You've been alone for so long, and you've done so much to help so many other people, now I think you need to do something that will help you," Andrew said gently.

"But what?" she asked weakly.

"Well, I'm not exactly sure, but maybe the reason I'm still here is to help you find it," he said smiling.

"You really are going to stay, aren't you?" she asked.

He nodded, his eyes shining brightly, "I said I was going to, didn't I?"

She smiled weakly, "yes, you did, but I thought it was just for fun, now it's just like before. Christina Thomas the hopeless basket case! I wanted to think that you would like to spend time with me and not feel that I'm some sort of assignment." The tears continued to stream down her cheeks. "I don't want to be an assignment, I want to be your friend!"

Andrew smiled at her and brushed the tears from her eyes. "Oh Christina, you are my friend, and it shouldn't matter if I was sent to you, or if I came by my own will. You know I'm always happy to see you." He paused. "You must realize that nothing will ever be like it was before, because life is made up of changes and growing and understanding that will never determine that you're hopeless. God doesn't see you as a hopeless basket case, and neither do I," he said gently.

She looked down at her lap, but he reached over and touched her shoulder causing her to look back up.

"I want you to know that right now I understand your feelings better than you realize and I know why you said what you did yesterday," he smiled gently at her.

"You mean when I doubted our friendship and upset you?" she asked weakly.

"Mm-hum," he smiled weakly and brushed her hair out of her eyes. "I know you are hurting inside, and I understand. Now you must learn to forgive yourself."

"But I don't, I can't, I know I hurt you," she whispered as the tears streamed down her cheeks.

"You have to," he smiled gently at her. "If you don't then it will effect our friendship, and you will always be afraid to be honest with me. I don't want you to try and protect me, I know you're a true friend, and so you have to try to be honest with yourself when the time comes to do so. That means telling me when you are in doubt, OK?"

"You forgive me?" she asked weakly.

He nodded. "There's nothing to forgive, Christina. I know you feel abandoned right now, specifically by me, and maybe even by God. You're not alone in any of this, God is with you, and I won't leave you to fight this alone. The pain you feel is real, and the hurt is there. During the last years, you have done far more to help other people than you have done for yourself." he said gently.

"But I thought God wanted me to do for others," she said softly.

Andrew took a deep breath before he spoke. "He does, but you shouldn't sacrifice your own life for the sake of others. You saved the life of a teenage boy yesterday, God knows that you do for others, and He's proud of you, but He also knows that you must also do for yourself. I know you want to help other people, but now the person you have to helpis yourself." He paused for a few seconds allowing his words to sink in.

Taking another deep breath, he continued. "I was sent to you yesterday for a reason. You are a very special friend to me, Christina, and nothing will change that. You'll always be my 'little angel', the one person who could make me see the good in Halloween. But, you must also accept that I knew from the onset that I wasn't just here to talk to you about what had happened five years ago, or to go to the beach, and then simply disappear last night after we came back. There is an important underlying reason why I was sent to you."

When she heard his words, she could feel the tears beginning to stream down her cheeks as the truth in his words went straight to the core of her soul. "I didn't want to say that to you, I didn't want to say I felt abandoned by you," she began to cry, her voice emerging in hiccups and for a moment, he could see the lonely, frightened child in her, and not the grown woman.

"I know you didn't, but even though you love me, and you love God, you feel abandoned right now, and though it may not be exactly true, your feelings are real, and no one can take them away from you. God can help, but the one who must cope and come to grips with them, is you," Andrew said gently as he wrapped her in his arms and held her tightly in the sanctuary of his embrace.

As Christina continued to contemplate his words, she began to feel the comfort and support from him and she allowed herself to cry in his arms.

*****

Lindsey Miller arrived at Christina's building that afternoon. She was in good spirits when she reached the door and rang the bell. She was humming when the door opened and she looked up. Surprise was evident on her face when she recognized the man standing before her.

"Andrew, what are you doing here?" she asked as she gave him a hug.

"I'm just visiting," he said smiling at her. "Do you want to come in?"

"Yeah, like you even have to ask me," she grinned sheepishly as he backed up and she came inside. "Where's Christina?"

"She's asleep," he said simply, the sadness lurking in his eyes.

"You know, I'm not really an expert when it comes to psychology, but somehow I have the feeling that something's wrong, I can tell by looking at you," she said and walked down the hall towards the kitchen. "As luck would have it, I know where she keeps her stash, so I'll make the cocoa."

Andrew slowly followed her into the kitchen. "You know your way around here, don't you?" he asked as he watched her open a cupboard and pull out the large tin filled with chocolate powder. Once that was on the counter, she opened the refrigerator and pulled out the milk.

Lindsey nodded. "Yeah, cause usually when we see each other, it's because I'm over here visiting. I don't really understand why, but she never comes to the house. Not even when she goes to visit her parents."

"Did she ever tell you why?" Andrew asked.

"No, she won't talk about it, but I have a strange feeling I know what it is anyway. I guess right now, I'm just too afraid to even try to start this sort of conversation with her," Lindsey sighed deeply as she poured some of the milk into a pan and turned on the burner.

"What do you think it is?" Andrew asked.

"I think it's about my dad."

Andrew nodded.

She looked at him. "Maybe I should be telling her these things, but I'm really worried about her; I have been for some time now. Andrew, is she OK?"

Andrew shook his head sadly. "She's under a great deal of pressure right now, Lindsey. She's very depressed."

"What do you mean by pressure? Something about her work?" she asked weakly.

"I don't really think it's about her work, I think there are other things going on with her that she can't find anyone to talk about it with." He paused and tried to collect his thoughts. "Let me ask you a question. After you've worked on a song, and you've put all your efforts into it, how do you feel after that song has been performed and you move on to another one?"

"I guess relieved, that is if it went over well, but also a little sad, because if I liked the song, I'd want it continue, on and on until I grow tired of it. But, I don't see how that compares to Christina," she said.

"Christina feels this way, not with music, rather with her friends," Andrew said sadly.

"I still don't understand," Lindsey said.

"She feels exhausted, and abandoned, like that song that is cast aside, unneeded," Andrew said.

"Even with you?" Lindsey said.

"Especially with me," he said nodding sadly.

"But that's crazy, I mean, she knows that you can't always be here and that you have youruh work," she said smiling shyly.

"There's more to this than just that, Lindsey," Andrew said softly. "It has to do with why Christina will not come to your house and visit. I cannot really explain why, but it's because she can't."

"Can't or won't?" Lindsey asked weakly.

"Can't," he said gently. "If you or anyone else were to make that request of her, then it would be emotionally too much for her to bear."

"My dad did something to her, didn't he?" she asked and looked him directly in the eyes. "I know you're an angel, and angels done lie, so that means you can't hide the truth from me. Besides that, I happen to know that before he went through rehabilitation and moved back home, he was not a very kind person. In fact, I would say he was rather cruel. I mean you knew that he had hit me, didn't you?"

"No I wasn't fully aware of this," he said softly. "All that I was aware of was what I witnessed him doing to you and Tommy on the baseball field."

Lindsey nodded and pulled up the sleeve of her sweater, on her arm was a thin scar, which extended up one side of it.

"Your father did this to you?" He asked, the shock evident in his eyes.

Lindsey nodded. "I didn't tell Christina about it because I know she would worry about me more than she already had done, but he did this some weeks before I met you the first time. I had to have stitches on my arm and they were taken out the day Tom had his first game. That's why I wasn't there. After visiting the doctor and having them removed, I went home, grabbed my bathing suit, and went swimming. I love the water, so it was natural for me to want to dive in as soon as the stitches were gone." She sighed deeply as she continued. "Usually, I never missed Tom's games, but was glad that Christina had come back so she would be there to see it. Anyway, that's why I was so angry with my father, because I'm his daughter and I couldn't understand why he did this to me." She looked into his compassionate eyes. "Andrew, nothing you say about my father will surprise me, I mean look at this, I will always have to live with this ugly scar on my arm. It will always be there to remind me of this horrible time in my life and what my father had done."

Andrew looked into the troubled eyes of the teenager and after a few moments of silence, he finally spoke. "He did do something to Christina, Lindsey."

"Tell me, please," Lindsey practically begged.

Andrew sighed deeply and looked at her. "Lindsey, do you remember when we were at the baseball field with Tommy and Christina? It was after your father showed up and you learned who I really am?"

"Yeah, at first, I got scared, and then Christina told me the truth and I realized how nice you are," she said softly.

"After this happened, your father ran away. I don't know if he was frightened by what he had seen or was too intoxicated to even remember it. At any rate, we talked a little and then Tess drove you and Tommy home."

"Yeah, I remember that," Lindsey said. "For a long time, Tommy would look for Tess everywhere, even in shopping mall, or at his games, but he never saw her. I think it made him sad, she reminded him of our grandma, so warm and caring. I don't think he ever forgot her, but he did eventually stop looking."

Andrew smiled. "Do you remember that right before Tess took you home, that she had asked me to follow Christina?"

"Yeah, I figured then that Christina probably needed some time to herself to think about everything that had happened," Lindsey said. "I'm also guessing that something did happen right after Tess took us home."

Andrew nodded. "Christina was sitting on a swing in the park, when she was brutally assaulted and nearly killed." He reached across the table and took Lindsey's hand.

"My dad?" Lindsey asked nodding as though she understood.

"He was drunk, Lindsey. I saw him later and he couldn't remember anything that had happened," Andrew said gently. "He felt terribly about what he had done and he asked Christina to forgive him, but the reason Christina can't go to your house and visit is because the memories are too strong for her. The pain is too intense and though she has forgiven your father for what has happened, she will never forget and to see him again would bring it all back to her. It was the only time I had ever seen her more afraid for herself then she was for others."

"Why didn't she tell me?" Lindsey asked trying to keep the tears out of her eyes.

"Because she didn't want to change the love that you and Tommy feel for your father," Andrew said as he squeezed her hand gently.

"But they were his actions, not hers," Lindsey said softly.

"She knows that," Andrew said.

"I still don't understand, what does this have to do with her feeling abandoned by you?" she asked, and it was clear to him that the young woman was extremely confused. Her attention was suddenly diverted and she went and turned the burner off and removed the pan from the stovetop. She poured the milk into two cups brought them over to the table. The chocolate powder, she put on the table and sat back down.

Andrew waited until she was seated before he began to speak. "When Christina was assaulted, I was there, and could do nothing to help her. I could only stand there and watch, but I couldn't have gotten involved even if I wanted to because I cannot interfere with the will of the people here. All I could offer her was spiritual help, but it hurt her to see me standing there unable to help. It gave her these feelings of abandonment. She desperately needed to know that her friends would be there for her when she needed their help most of all."

"But if you couldn't help her, who did?" Lindsey asked.

"Two men witnessed what happened and they helped her," Andrew said.

Lindsey sighed deeply. "I wish she had told me this."

"I know, but can you blame her for not having done so? Christina doesn't want to hurt the people she loves, in essence, she is handling this in a very unselfish way, Lindsey. Unfortunately, now she needs to have a few people looking out for her," he said. "That's why I'm here, now."

Lindsey nodded. "I don't understand why she didn't trust me enough to talk to me about it. I could have at least stopped pressing her about coming to the house." She looked shamefaced down at her lap.

"You shouldn't feel badly about this, Lindsey, you had no way of knowing," Andrew said gently. "And please, don't blame her or believe for a moment that she didn't trust you, because she does. The problem is, Christina didn't want you to feel pressured by her with regards to your relationship to your father."

Lindsey nodded and looked at him. "I can't believe that she was really hurt by you?"

Andrew nodded sadly. "She was, and yesterday after she had saved a teenage boy from drowning at the beach, all of the past experiences she has had came back to her, and now the pain is unbearable for her. As she said, she's an emotional wreck. That's why I'm here."

Lindsey took a spoonful of chocolate powder and dumped it into her cup of milk. "Is there anything I can do?"

Andrew shook his head, "I don't really know what I can do."

She squeezed his hand and smiled at him. "I think you being here is enough."

"At this point, I don't know if it's an advantage or not, Lindsey," he said softly.

*****

An hour later, Christina woke up. She rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and pushed the bedding aside. As she crawled out of bed, she reached for her robe and put it on. As soon as she tied the belt around her middle, she walked slowly out of the room. "Andrew?" she called out, her voice weak and strained.

"In the kitchen," came the cheerful answer and she walked in and could see him and Lindsey sitting at the table.

"Hi Lindsey," she said trying to offer the teenager a smile. When she saw her canister of chocolate powder on the table, she continued to speak. "Did you drink all the milk or did you save some so I could have a cup?" She sat down at the table and rested her head in her hands.

Andrew stood up and went to the stove. "There's still some milk left. I'll make you a cup."

Christina smiled gratefully as he began to pour the rest of the milk into the pan and turned on the burner.

"Man, Christina, you look like death warmed over," Lindsey said flippantly, causing Andrew to turn abruptly from the stove. Christina looked up to see a look of horror cross the angel's face. Lindsey began to giggle when she saw Andrew's face. "Sorry, that just slipped out, but you should see your face, Andrew. If looks could kill," she laughed and was relieved when Christina tried to stifle a smile.

Andrew sighed loudly but smiled at Lindsey with embarrassment in his eyes. He rested his hand against the side of his blushing face. "I don't think I'll ever get used to these figures of speech."

Christina smiled, "Maybe you should, besides I needed that. Thanks, Lindsey."

Andrew looked at her opting to change the subject. "How did you sleep?"

"OK," she smiled weakly. "I'm still tired though, I'll probably have to cancel all my appointments for tomorrow, because I still feel terrible."

"If that's the case," Lindsey said, "I'll skip school tomorrow too and we can do something fun."

"What do you have in mind?" Andrew asked almost afraid of what her answer was going to be.

"Well, one of my friends said that there's supposed to be a fair in the neighboring town. Why don't we go there?" Lindsey asked and looked at Andrew. "Or are you scared of roller coasters?"

Christina smiled. "I don't think Andrew's afraid of anything."

"I wouldn't say that," he said and smiled meekly. "I'm not very fond of going to the dentist."

Lindsey laughed. "Who is? Unless you thrive on pain."

Christina smiled, "the fair does sound like fun and the way I've been feeling lately, I could use a few laughs."

*****

The following afternoon, Andrew, Lindsey, and Christina were walking across the midway of the small town fair. Lindsey had insisted on buying cotton candy, and she walked along, her face was meshed into the fluffy, pink, sugar candy.

The air smelled of candied apples and corndogs. "This is just the most perfect day," Lindsey said smiling brightly. "This beats school any day!"

Christina smiled at her and looked at Andrew, who had started taking in his surroundings. She glanced over and saw a haunted house and then saw Andrew's frustrated face. "That's odd, I thought all that junk would be gone since Halloween is over." She rested her hand on his shoulder. "Don't worry, I don't like those places either."

He smiled weakly as they made their way through the crowds. When they reached a clearing, Lindsey could see the carousel. "Oh look at that, isn't it beautiful? Just look at the horses, it's like something straight out of 'Mary Poppins'."

Christina smiled as she could see the children climbing onto the backs of the beautifully painted horses. Neither noticed that Andrew had disappeared in the crowd. "I remember we used to ride this when I was a little girl. My parents would bring us to the fair and we would sit for hours on the carousel, the air was filled with popcorn and peanuts. It was like something straight out of a dream."

"Then maybe that dream should be relived," Andrew said, he had returned and in his hand he held two tokens. He handed one to Christina and the second he handed to Lindsey.

"You got us tickets to ride it?" Lindsey asked her eyes shining brightly. She practically shoved the rest of her cotton candy in his hands and raced off towards the carousel.

"I'll wait for you here," he called out as Christina left him and approached the carousel. "Have fun."

Christina smiled and nodded as the carousel stopped and the people began dismounting the horses. As she looked at the beautiful figures, she found a beautiful lilac and light green colored horse. She could see that Lindsey had selected one painted a marble white with gold highlights.

As Christina mounted her horse and glanced around, she could see parents and other adults laughing and pointing at her and Lindsey, but she didn't care. Andrew's words about finding her inner child filtered through her mind, and she grinned at the people who were pointing. How many of those people actually had a friend who would help them relive their childhood dreams?

From her place on the back of the horse, she waved at Andrew and as he waved back, the music began to fill her ears, and the carousel started. Her horse was now moving round and round, and up and down. It was wonderful and she smiled happily as she watched the masses of people, as well as smelling the familiar scents that she remembered from her childhood. Each time she came around, she could see Andrew standing and watching, and she would wave.

When the carousel stopped she and Lindsey climbed down and rejoined Andrew who seemed more than happy to return Lindsey's cotton candy to her. Both of them gave him hug and he could see that Christina had happy tears in her eyes. "Thank you!"

Andrew hugged her back and smiled without saying anything. They left the carousel and continued to walk through the midway.

"Hey, you know what we should do?" Lindsey said, her eyes shining brightly.

"What?" Andrew asked.

"I just saw a face painting booth and they had some really neat patterns too," she said.

"But that's for kids," Christina objected.

"Yeah, so what's your point?" Lindsey grabbed her hand, and she grabbed Andrew's and they dodged their way through the crowd until they reached the booth. "I'm going to have them paint an alien from outer space on my cheek."

Andrew smiled at Lindsey's child like demeanor but he could see that Christina was starting to relax and she seemed to allow herself to be happy. "Don't push her," the voice of the Father resonated in his mind, and he nodded.

Lindsey had, by this time, pulled some money from her pocket and dropped it on the counter top. "I want you to paint an alien from space on my cheek," she said as the woman eyed her in disbelief.

"We usually only do this for children," the woman said.

"But there's no age limit for face painting," Christina said when she saw Lindsey disappointment. "All that it says is 'face painting $1.50'. If she has the money, then you can give her the service."

Andrew approached them and nodded.

The woman reluctantly had Lindsey sit down and she began to decorate her face. As soon as she finished, Lindsey was given a mirror and she could see the small alien on her right cheek. "This is really great," she said enthusiastically. "You know, I think my friends should get one too, here's $3.00."

The woman smiled warmly when Lindsey gave her the money. "OK, who's first?" she asked. By then a small crowd of children had come over and had started to watch as the three adults discussed face painting with the woman.

Lindsey grabbed Andrew's hand and practically dragged him to the small stool. "Him!"

The woman looked with disbelief at the handsome man standing before her and she stifled a grin. "What should I paint?"

Lindsey smiled and leaned over and whispered in the woman's ear.

The woman nodded and began to apply the cold paint to Andrew's face. Christina broke into a grin when she saw what the woman was painting. She leaned over to Lindsey and spoke. "That's perfect."

The children cheered when the woman had finished and handed Andrew a mirror. He smiled when he saw what the woman had painted on his face. It was a small carousel horse, and the woman had even applied the glitter so it would stand out a little. He whispered something to the woman, she nodded and he stood up.

"OK, you're next," the woman said smiling as Christina sat down. She pulled her hair back from her face and as the woman began to paint, the children started to talk amongst themselves about what they wanted to have painted on their faces once the woman had finished with Christina.

When the woman had finished painting, she handed Christina the mirror and she looked at her cheek. She smiled brightly when she recognized that the woman had painted an angel with flowing silver wings and a golden halo on her face. She could feel the tears in her eyes, but wiped them away making sure she wouldn't smear the artwork. "Thank you," she said to the woman as she stood up.

The woman smiled. "I should be thanking you three. Because of you, I'll never limit my work to just children."

Andrew returned the smile. "Good, you shouldn't, because you're a very talented artist. We have to go, but it seems to me you now have a few more customers."

As they disappeared through the crowd, the woman started tending to the children assembled. She smiled broadly as she realized that three childlike adults had shown her that her work was as significant to grown-ups as it was to kids.

*****

"That was so much fun," Lindsey said as they were walking through the midway some ten minutes later. "Did you see all those kids who wanted face paintings? I'm sure it was because we were there, I mean they were flocked there like seagulls on a mountain of garbage."

Christina smiled and nodded. "It was fun."

Andrew nodded, "I'm hungry."

"You too?" Lindsey asked. "Cotton candy doesn't really stick."

"Except to your face!" Christina laughed out loud as they continued walking.

"Christina?" a stranger's voice suddenly interrupted them and she turned around. Standing several steps behind her was Simon, the boy from the beach, as well as a man and woman.

She nodded and smiled weakly. "Yes."

"This is my mom and dad," Simon said softly. "I told them about what you did for Robert yesterday. I can't believe that you're actually here, but they wanted to meet you."

She nodded numbly as the mother embraced her, the tears falling from her eyes. Christina could do nothing except hug the woman in return. "Thank you, for saving our son's life."

"I couldn't have done otherwise, Mrs. Davies," Christina said softly.

"Please, you must call us Vincent and Paula," the man said. "We can't tell you how grateful we are to you for what you did. Simon told us that you risked your own life for Robert, and I have never met anyone who would willingly do that for another person."

Christina smiled weakly. "Your son was never alone."

"We know," Paula said and she smiled. "God sent an angel to watch over him."

Christina smiled thinking of Andrew's presence, but then when she looked into the eyes of the couple, she realized that they were meaning her and she blushed. "How is Robert doing?" she asked.

"He'll come home in two days," Vincent said. "We would like you to be there for his homecoming, that is if you wouldn't mind."

Christina smiled. "That would make me very happy," she said as Vincent handed her a small card with their address printed on it. "I'd love to come."

"See you Wednesday, Christina," Simon said happily. His parents nodded and they walked slowly away. Moments later, the three of them had disappeared in the crowd.

Christina was left holding the card and looking down at it. She shook her head in profound disbelief. "I don't believe it."

"Who are those people, Christina?" Lindsey asked.

"Those were Robert's younger brother and their parents," Christina said softly. "Robert was the boy that I helped yesterday at the beach. Andrew, Robert saw you, and he told his parents that he wasn't alone because God had sent an angel to him."

Andrew shook his head as he smiled at her. "No, this time it wasn't me they were referring to." He rested his hand on her shoulder and squeezed it reassuringly. "Christina, it was you. To them, you are that angel, and they wouldn't have understood my presence there, but because of what you did, they understood yours."

Lindsey smiled. "Yeah, and you know something else? A stranger always has the potential of becoming a valued and trusted friend, so when you sometimes think that only a stranger helps, it's only that he or she might actually want to become your friend. When you think about it, everyone is a stranger until that wonderful time comes when they meet."

Christina smiled weakly and looked at them. "This is very strange that you would say that, because I mentioned something about strangers when we talked yesterday."

Andrew nodded, "I think we should go and the three of us should have a little talk. I would be willing to bet that there are some things that we need to discuss."

Lindsey nodded as they made their way back in the direction where their car was parked. Once they drove away from the midway and reached a small park, they decided to stop there and they walked through the tranquil park until they reached a small lake situated in the middle.

Once they sat down on the grass, Andrew looked at the two of them. "Christina, there's something I have to tell you and there's really no easy way to do so." He took a deep breath. "Lindsey knows about what happened to you five years ago, because something similar happened to her as well."

Both women turned and looked at the other, the shock hanging in the air. Lindsey appeared to be the first to recover from it and she pulled up the sleeve of her sweatshirt exposing the scar along her arm. Looking back at her friend, she spoke. "Why didn't you tell me about what had happened to you, Christina?"

Christina could feel the tears in her eyes and she tried unsuccessfully to wipe them away. "I couldn't. I didn't want to hurt you."

"I know, Andrew told me why, and I don't blame you. But, in retrospect, I guess it's the same reason I didn't tell you about this," Lindsey said softly pointing to the scar on her arm. "I knew you were worried about me, but I guess I didn't want you to know about this because I was afraid it would get worse for me and Tom."

Christina nodded numbly. "I guess you know me pretty well, huh?"

Lindsey smiled. "I consider you to be one of my best friends, Christina. Since that's the case, I guess I do know you pretty well." She looked at Andrew and smiled. "You're my other best friend."

Andrew smiled as he looked at the two of them. "I hope you're not angry with me for trying to get you to speak of this. It's the truth, you both have to face it, and that means looking at each other and telling how you feel about all of the events that you have hidden away. A true friendship is never made up of keeping secrets."

Christina smiled weakly and nodded. "Lindsey, when Andrew and I were at the beach yesterday, I remembered so much that happened to me. Not just the stuff that happened when I was 23, but also these things that happened when I was 15 and even before that. It hasn't been easy for me to confide my troubles in my friends. Andrew is the only one who knows just about everything there is to know about me."

She looked at him and continued to speak. "I guess you were trying to tell me to trust my friends, and to allow them to help me for a change. I could never do that, I'm afraid of showing people that I'm weak. I guess that's why I continued to do for others and not for myself. I thought for so long that I had to prove something to them. I guess it's like earning their love or something." She shook her head.

He nodded. "I know, I saw that in you from the first day we met, but now you know that you don't have to do that. Christina, people love you for the person you are, not for what you do, even though what you do is rather extraordinary. You have to believe that these people want to be there for you, but you must also allow them to be there for you, and that means permitting yourself to show that you're vulnerable and capable of being hurt. You can't always be strong, but that's why God gives you that strength when you ask Him for it. That's why it will always be there for you when you need it the most."

Christina smiled and though the tears were now streaming down her cheeks and smudging the angel that was on her cheek, but this no longer mattered to her, because she had her two friends with her. "Thank you both," she said sincerely as the three of them shared an embrace.

"I'm glad there's no more secrets," Lindsey said, as she carefully took off the sweatshirt and revealed a T-shirt underneath. "It sometimes gets hot always having to wear sweatshirts when I come visit you."

The three of them laughed.

After a few moments, Andrew closed his eyes and thanked God for this happy resolution. Christina was going to be OK now and with the help of Lindsey and the newfound friends she had met at the fair; she would discover where her path was to lead.

"I guess this is it, huh?" Christina asked as she looked over at him. "I suppose now you're going to uh, exit stage right?"

"No, not yet, I still have a day off coming since our beach trip was ruined," he said smiling. "I was told that I could stick around until tomorrow night and then will have to go and meet up with Tess and Monica."

"Oh, Andrew, now that you mention that, can you do me a favor?" Lindsey asked.

"If I can, you know I will," he said.

"Next time you decide to uhpop in, could you bring Tess with you?" she asked. "I think Tom would like to see her again, even if he doesn't realize it yet."

He laughed, "I'll see what I can do."

As the sun sank behind the trees, the three of them stood up and walked in companionable silence to the car.

Christina sent a silent prayer to God once they had gotten in the car. It had turned out to be the most wonderful day, and she felt amazingly lighter from the revelations that had come to her.

*****

The following morning Christina woke up to smell the fragrance of breakfast wafting into her room. Andrew appeared in the doorway as she was sitting up in bed. "Lindsey said she couldn't skip school again, so we're on our own. She said she gets out at 2:30, so we can meet her when she's done. Does that sound OK?"

"Great," She reached for the phone, and after she called and cancelled her appointments for the day, she crawled out of bed. "It's been a long time since I've actually had a day off."

"I know the feeling," he said as she put the robe on and came out of the bedroom. In the hall, she could smell the food he had prepared. "You know, I'm getting awfully spoiled with real breakfasts and nice conversations. Too bad you can't stick around longer."

He smiled and they went into the kitchen. On the table, there was a lace tablecloth as well as plates and utensils. "This looks like my grandmother's old tablecloth," she said. "Where on Earth did you find it?"

"I guess your mother gave it to you because it was in the cabinet under the television set in the living room," he said.

"I don't usually have tablecloths on the tables," she said, "but this looks so nice."

"What do you want to do today?" he asked.

"I don't know, maybe we should go by the house and surprise my parents," she said half jokingly.

"OK, but should I be warned about 'Angel of Death jokes' that might be said?" he asked, his eyes twinkling.

"Perhaps," she said smiling. "But, you're not on duty, so I don't think they have anything to worry about."

Andrew smiled. "You feeling better about everything?"

"Yeah, I think so, it was hard but I'm OK," she said softly. "I appreciate all your help yesterday, and I know that I may have just been an assignment, but yesterday was really wonderful. Especially the carousel! I had so many memories of my childhood sitting up there on that dashing stallion. I wouldn't have had the courage to do this without Lindsey being there though. It was so much fun to relive a part of my life that I thought was over."

"You looked happy, and now I have to tell you this, Christina. You are more than just an assignment to me, you're a true friend, and like I said, I'm always so happy to see you," he said.

"Thanks, and aside from that assignment part, I have to say the same holds true for you," she said.

*****

Upon leaving Christina's apartment, they drove to the Thomas house and got to see Donna and Daniel. Both of Christina's parents were very happy to see Andrew again, but only after they realized that the angel was there only to visit. They invited them in, and they sat around for much of the morning talking and drinking coffee. They were doubly grateful that they had the opportunity to talk with him for a few hours, as both recalled how they had not been able to spend much time with him five years ago because his assignment had been during Bryan and Rachel's wedding.

They laughed and talked until Christina and Andrew had to go and meet Lindsey. Before they left, she had the chance to tell her parents about what had happened at the beach and how hard the last couple of days had been for her. It was healing for her to realize that her parents would be there to support her, but it was hard for her to tell them how sad she had been feeling. After they hugged and comforted her, she was able to tell them about the fair and how she had unexpectedly met Robert and Simon's parents there.

As they were getting up to leave, Donna handed Andrew a newspaper clipping and told him to show it to Christina before he would leave that night. He looked down at it and smiled as he recognized the photo. This promise, he made willingly.

After picking up Lindsey, they decided to go to the mall and have a late lunch. Lindsey somehow managed to talk Christina into having a makeover done and while they were getting made up, Andrew wandered into a small gift shop and looked around.

When Christina and Lindsey were finished, they found him still at the store. He held a small package in his hands, and both women started to wonder what it was the angel had found.

They spent the rest of the afternoon walking around together and when they found a small amateur recording studio, they persuaded Lindsey to sing a song. She did and they left some twenty minutes later with a tape recording of the song she had presented at Bryan and Rachel's wedding five years ago.

When their day together was over, Lindsey, Christina, and Andrew returned to Christina's apartment. "That was such a gas," Lindsey said enthusiastically as they came inside. "Can you believe that I actually did that makeover thing? I look like a cast member for 'Cats' or something!" She laughed. "But, man, Christina, you look great."

"Thank you," Christina said smiling.

"Today was a lot of fun," Andrew said and he looked at them sadly. "I have to go now, but your parents asked me to give you this before I had to leave, Christina."

He handed the small clipping to her and she looked down at it and then back up at him. "They knew that we had gone there?"

"Yes, and they were happy that you did," Andrew smiled at her. "You'll always be my 'little angel', Christina, even when you're 80. Let that child that dwells in you come out now and then. I'm sure Lindsey will be able to help you in that regard, won't you?" he asked as he turned to Lindsey.

Lindsey's smile faded, but she nodded. "I hate good-bye's, Andrew. When one has a friend, they want them to be there always."

"I know," he smiled gently.

"I want you to have this." Lindsey handed the tape to him. "You reminded me of this song when we talked the other day and through it, you helped me to face the truth."

He accepted her gift, "Thank you, Lindsey. But, you shouldn't be sad, because I know that before your time comes, we will see each other again," Andrew said smiling at her.

"Of that I'm almost certain," Lindsey said and hugged him. "I love you and I know that you will always be there to help those who need you. Just like you were there for me when I needed your help the most."

"I love you both," he said smiling and received a final hug from Christina. "I'll see you sometime soon, that's a promise."

As the embrace ended, she looked at him. "I'll miss you."

Once he had completely faded from view and was gone, she looked at Lindsey. "He was right about one thing," she said softly.

"What's that?" Lindsey asked.

"Life is filled with change, and for the first time in a long time, his departure isn't really a sad occasion," she said softly. "He's a blessing to us, but now I have this affirmation and I know that I'm not alone."

"You're never alone," Lindsey said, "God makes sure of that."

Christina looked once more down at the clipping that that Andrew had given to her, once she had read the caption, she showed it to Lindsey. On the page were the words: 'A Living Angel' printed across it and underneath it was a photograph that someone had taken of her as the woman from the fair had painting the angel on her cheek.

"That's so cool," Lindsey said. "Now you're famous, so don't let it go to your head."

Christina giggled. "I think we should go back to the mall. I need to buy a frame."

"Why can't we do that tomorrow?" Lindsey asked.

"Tomorrow is Robert's homecoming, and I can't miss that, you know I promised them that I would come. Besides, it would give us a reason to go back to the mall and do some more shopping," Christina said smiling. "I'll even treat you a hot fudge sundae."

"OK, then let's go before it gets too late," Lindsey said as they were walking to the front door, but suddenly something caught her eye, she stopped, and looked at Christina. "Did you buy a prism for your living room?"

"No, why?" Christina asked.

"No reason, I just noticed that there was a rainbow of light dancing on the door leading into your living room."

The two of them went into the room and Christina immediately noticed that sitting on the coffee table were two small glass crystal figurines. She approached them and looked down at them. "Andrew must have left them," she said softly. "They must be what he found at that store while we were getting the makeovers."

"You think?"

"Just look at them, they're angels. I mean, he must have bought them. I didn't buy them and apparently you didn't either," she said. "Maybe this is his way of saying that he's always with us, or that God is." She picked up one of them and underneath it was an envelope with Lindsey's name neatly written on it. "This one seems to be for you."

Lindsey took the envelope and opened it. Inside was a simple beige card with the word 'blessing' embossed on it. She opened it and inside she could see that he had written only the word: 'friendship' and then he had signed his name.

Christina could feel the tears in her eyes as she picked up the other figure from off the table and saw a similar envelope with her name written on it. She opened it and looked down at the card. It was exactly the same card right down to the word 'blessing' on it. She opened it, and the tears began to stream down her face when she discovered that he had written entirely in capital letters one word: 'YOU'. His signature was at the bottom of the card. Christina hugged the card to her chest and then picked up the small figurine. "I'll be right back, I want to put this by my bed."

Lindsey nodded; she was still holding her card and figure.

When Christina came back out into the living room, Lindsey was still standing and holding the small angel in her hands. Christina rested her hand on the younger woman's shoulder, and they stood there for some moments deep in contemplation.

As Christina wiped a stray tear from her eyes, she smiled reassuringly at Lindsey and after a few moments of silence passed between them, Lindsey laid her figure back on the coffee table and looked up at Christina. "I'll take mine home with me when we get back," she said softly and once Christina nodded, the two women left the apartment together.

The End

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