A 'Touched By An Angel' story

By: Yvette Jessen

Erin crawled out of bed the following morning and all she could think about was the night before. She had met her friends at the face, and the four of them had made a pact to end their lives. The tears streamed down her cheeks as she remembered everything that had happened and although she had been so grateful that Kim had turned out to be OK, all the young Erin could feel now, was humiliation.

She could not get it out of her mind when she had seen Andrew standing there next to Monica, bathed in light and the realization that he was an angel and that was the reason he couldn't return the feelings she carried for him. Now, instead of feeling comfort, this only added to her feelings of regret and stupidity.

Grabbing a t-shirt from her belongings, she pulled it on as well as a pair of shorts, her long blonde hair went ignored except to tie it back with a rubber band. She looked around the room where the other girls were still asleep in their beds and would probably remain asleep until 9 when breakfast was scheduled to be served.

Quietly, so as to not disturb them, she crept out of the room, and went slowly down the stairs. The rest of the camp was quiet, as well it should be, after all, it was still dark outside, the sun was just beginning to peek out from behind the trees and the shadows had only started to slip away as each second quietly ticked by. She walked slowly in the direction of 'the face', which in actuality was a large rock located not far from where the main meeting room was.

As she reached the stone structure, for some reason she could feel her hands beginning to sweat, but she went over to one side where she could still see the remains of the red paint where she had written 'Erin loves Andrew' in large bold letters. She ran her hand along the structure and could still see some of the red pain beneath her fingertips. What a fool I was, she thought sadly to herself as she regarded the remains of the pills she and her friends had tossed to the ground when the angels had managed to persuade them to not end their lives. She got down on her knees and picked up one of the pills.

She began to pull the weeds and grass away from around it and looked down at the single capsule that rested in the palm of her hand. She finally allowed it to slip between her fingers and land on the ground. In frustration, she smashed it with her foot, but after a few moments, her attention was diverted and she turned around all the while seeing the humiliating red paint still on the surface of 'the face'.

"I ruined this," she whispered under her breath. "I dishonored the memory of those girls who didn't come back because of some stupid crush."

She picked up a stone and began to scrape it across the remainder of the red paint hoping to get rid of the last of the declaration of love she had for the counselor who had actually turned out to be, of all things, an angel. Humiliated tears streamed down her face as she continued to work at getting the last of the red substance off of it.

After a few moments, she crawled back up on top of the rock and sat there as the tears continued to stream down her cheeks. She watched as the sun came up lightening the area around her and she glanced around to see that Andrew was now standing on the path leading back to the camp. He carried a gentle smile on his face, and she was left to wonder how long he had been standing there quietly watching her. Self consciously she ran her hand through her tangled blonde hair, but eventually she climbed down off the face and stood next to it as he made eye contact with her and approached.

"Hello, Erin," he said.

"Hi," she said, her voice barely above a whisper, but she found herself looking at the ground. She managed to offer him a weak smile, but she could not even look at him without feeling the shame enveloping her.

"Is everything OK?" He asked gently. "You're not having second thoughts, are you?"

"No, I'm not," she said her voice barely above a whisper.

"Is there something you want to talk about?" Andrew asked, he could see the discomfort in her eyes, and he knew that her feelings were still very fragile, and he was aware of the fact that he was indirectly responsible for it.

"No, I just have a lot on my mind is all, no big deal," she said as she started to walk away.

"Don't go, we really need to talk," he said. "I know that it is not easy for you to talk to me about this, but I want you to listen just for a moment. You were given a pretty hefty dosage of truth last night, and I think you know that the way you interpreted all of it saved your life."

"I really don't want to talk about this," she whispered. "It's too hard."

Andrew came over to her and rested his hand on her shoulder. "You know, love is never an easy topic for anyone, not for a young woman, and sometimes, not even for an angel. Now that you know the truth, I think you know why it is that I cannot return those kinds of feelings, simply because of what I am." He smiled gently at her. "It's not because of HIV, Erin, and it's not because I don't care for you, the truth is, I simply can't."

"It's so embarrassing," she looked away. "You must think I'm the biggest fool that ever lived."

"No, it shouldn't be embarrassing and I don't think you're a fool at all. In fact, it was rather courageous of you to express those feelings in the first place and I'm rather flattered by them," he began. "Erin, the love that I do carry for you is the same as what you have for Abbey, Nikki, and the other friends you have here."

The young girl looked at the large stone and then she looked at him. "A friend?"

"Mm-hum," he smiled and nodded. "You see, everything that I told you was the truth and I know that it's sometimes hard being a teenager. You're not a child anymore, but you're also not an adult yet, but then you have all those other things that you must cope with, which can be difficult, but you're strong, you showed that last night when you chose not to give up on life."

"You think so?" She asked weakly.

"I know so," he smiled gently and when she looked at him, she could only return the smile and nod her head.