Conducted by: Yvette Jessen

Part 1

First of all, it's a dark and stormy night…whoops, wrong setting, let's try something a little different. It's a warm and comfortable night. Yeah, that's better. I have somehow managed to coerce Adam to come here, sit down with me, and chat about life, death and cocktail wieners! Nice of him, I'd say, but now I shall progress with this interview. Pull up a chair, grab your favorite beverage and let us begin.

Every interviewer has a special means to bring the interviewee to the table, and this is an accomplishment with 20 oranges, a presser and a glass. Once I have handed Adam a glass of his favorite freshly squeezed orange juice, he gave me a winning smile, and I sat down with a pad of paper and pen in hand and we begin.

Yvette: Adam, as you know, I no longer work for a newspaper, and anything said here will only be posted to the fan fiction forum of the 'Touched By An Angel' message board and possibly be seen by 3000 plus fans. Is that OK?

Adam: Of course, that's perfectly fine. I would have come here anyway, just for the orange juice.

Y: Cute, but at any rate, as the founder of the 'Advocacy of Adam Appreciation', have you anything to say to our members?

A: Well aside from thanks for the support, I can't think of anything off hand to say. I'm touched.

Y: OK, this interview is being conducted with regards to the second in command of the 'Advocacy'. You know her well, a young woman named Ashley. I also understand that you have been assigned to help her right now. Thus, I appreciate you taking a small break from your duties to talk to me this evening.

A: My pleasure, Yvette.

Y: For the record, is Ashley really as stubborn as depicted in the story 'Dangerous Ground' chapter 9, or is this merely a figment of the imaginations of the bunches of people who have already read it?

A: Well, seeing as she is my assignment right now, and seeing as I could get into an awful lot of trouble for replying honestly, and as an angel, lying is out of the question, so, the only thing left for me to do is to plead the fifth.

Y: That's as close to an affirmative response as one can get without actually saying 'yes', you know, Adam?

A: I sometimes forget that you studied Political Science, Yvette, and that as a political scientist; you have the ability to twist words.

Y: <growing indignant> Hey, what is that supposed to mean? I studied Political Science, but the only thing that did was leave me skeptical when it comes to politics. If I wanted to twist words, I'd have become a lawyer. The truth is, I'm just looking for the facts so I can give Ashley a hard time. You know she's my little sister, and that's the job of older sisters to give their younger siblings a hard time.

A: Is that so?

Y: Sure, and besides, this isn't about me, Adam; it's about what happened in that hospital room with Ashley wanted to leave against her doctor's advice. Now, I know that you tried to convince her to stay an extra week, but why do you suppose she wanted to leave?

A: Well, you tell me. If you were in the hospital, would you be chomping at the bit to stick around for dessert?

Y: Probably not, especially since I heard hospital cakes could be used as brick replacements for house building.

A: When was the last time you were in the hospital anyway?

Y: I was five, I think.

A: Yes, and you were scared and unhappy there, were you not?

Y: Yes, I suppose I was.

A: There you go. Now then, you have been told that you have to stay in the hospital for a whole week, you don't get anything but brick-cake, bullion, and jell-o, so you tell me, if you could have jetted out of there, would you have?

Y: Yes, but not against medical advice.

A: Well, I tried to convince her, but she wouldn't listen to me.

Y: I know you did, Adam, you were very caring towards her. I did read the story after all.

A: Well, OK, then you have earned a truthful answer, she was being a little stubborn.

Y: Would you say that she is normally that stubborn?

A: You tell me, she's your message board sister.

Y: OK, so you think I could come out and say that she is stubborn? But, she defended herself and said that she is not stubborn. Should we believe her?

A: I think as a friend, you should. Now the matter as to whether or not she is stubborn should be left in the hands of the Father, as He made her.

Y: Would you say that God might have made her stubborn?

A: I would say that the Father gave her an emotion called 'determination', and that she used it in this regard, and whether or not someone can say she is stubborn is a matter of interpretation.

Y: Interpretation?

A: Yes.

Y: I guess, this must be a very hard assignment for you, as you care for her and don't want to see her get hurt, correct?

A: Yes, I do, and sometimes I really wish there was such a thing as predestination.

Y: You also said that at the 'Sign of the Dove', did you not?

A: Yes, I did, but the reason I didn't try to stop Ashley from leaving the hospital is because she has something called 'free will' and chose to use it. I couldn't convince her otherwise, but I will be there for her through thick and thin and if she needs me I'll be there for her. I'd do the same for you, you know?

Y: It leaves no question in my mind; Adam, you are a wonderful friend. The question I have for you is, is she out of danger?

A: I don't know, Ashley and Britney are the authors of that piece, not me.

Y: <laugh> OK, Adam, so do you think that it could be established that Ashley is stubborn?

A: I think she's more 'determined' than most.

Y: You're grasping at straws, Angel Boy.

A: Well, you're talking like someone who is trying to win public office, Teddy Momma.

Y: True enough, perhaps I am. But, I guess the point of this is to say that we all care for Ashley and stubborn or not, she's a great person, and a dynamic writer. Who would you say is more stubborn, Ashley or Tess?

A: <whispers> Tess, but please don't tell her I said that, I could really get into trouble for that one, especially if she were to find out about this interview.

Y: Are you saying that you are afraid of Tess?

A: No, but I would prefer to not get on her bad side, especially right now, when I have so much job related stress that I could write a book about it.

Y: 'The Angel of Death's Guide to Stress Reduction'. Yep, sounds like a winner to me.

A: Very funny, Yvette.

Y: I have my moments, but you know, if you need a break, my PIC, Vicki, and I write some stories about teddy bears, and I'm about to write another one about yet another special teddy bear.

A: That doesn't surprise me.

Y: It shouldn't, you know me.

A: I guess I'd better get back to the story, and make sure Ashley is OK.

Y: Yes, well, thank you, Adam. Take care of her, but also take care of yourself. Love you; you're really awesome.

A: You're awesome too; a bit mischievous, but I love you, too.

I got up from my side of the table at that moment and gave Adam the biggest hug I could manage. Once he disappeared, I smiled as I looked over and saw that he had drained the orange juice from the glass I had given him. I went over and picked it up and set it in the sink. All the while I was smiling…this has definitely been fun!!!

Part 2

As the responses to the first interview with Adam have been rather successful, I decided that I desperately needed some help from my sweet friend and Angel of Death, before I literally am k*lled by frontal pillow assaults, coming from the west. So, I have managed to bribe Adam to come back here for an afternoon of chatting, freshly squeezed orange juice, and a little bit of what my mother used to call my 'feminine charm', whatever the heck that is supposed to mean. <eg>

Yvette: Adam, you've got to help me, I am in serious trouble….

Adam: You just love to stir up trouble, do you not? It's like in your genes or something.

Y: Now is not the time for a lesson on morality, did you see what happened after I posted that first part of our little chat? Ashley is literally bombarding me with pillows, feathers and just about any ammunition she can get her hands on! You've gotta help me, please, I'll do anything, well, not anything, dressing up as a genie and belly dancing for my husband's 40th birthday party is a tad bit extreme.

A: Oh but he'd love it.

Y: I wouldn't….eeeek, can you imagine anything scarier…wait, don't answer that one.

A: I wasn't going to say a thing.

Y: Yeah, right, but, the point is, you owe me one, I've been getting you tons of support on the message board, the 'Advocacy' is really starting to go places.

A: Yes, you have been very good about drumming up support for me, and I appreciate it, but a guilt trip doesn't suit you, Yvette.

Y: Adam <said with a very whiney voice, but after a minute I start speaking, trying to appeal to this particular angel's interests> Look, if it means groveling at your feet, then I'll be your official orange juice provider until I go Home, I promise. <Upon saying this, I gave him my best puppy dog look and he melted, of course he did, it's my interview, he's supposed to melt, right? Right!!!>

A: OK, but what do you want me to do? You were the one who pushed the issue with Ashley and her level of stubbornness. For the sake of not getting my halo bashed in, I wanted to drop it during the first interview, but you persisted with this argument. You see, it's not my fault that all this happened, yet I too got a stern talking to by Ashley, and I thought for a minute that she was about to quit her post as second in command of the 'Advocacy'. I thought she was really mad and had it in for me!

Y: I didn't mean to get you into trouble, Adam, but I'm worried right now. There's no telling what will be said in Fan Fiction now that I've let the cat out of the bag.

A: You started the first ever Fan Fiction Pillow Fight is all, nothing major. <he smiles at me, and my heartbeat speeds up ever so slightly, but only a little, I am, after all, a happily married woman.>

Y: Look Adam, we have to figure out one of two things, a counter attack or just giving up. Now, I've seen your alter ego play a nasty guy on 'Lois and Clark', so I figure that I can count on you to help me think of a good counterattack for Ashley's pillow assault.

A: What do you have in mind? Charles may have played a nasty on television, but that doesn't mean I am a nasty, I don't even know how those nasty guys think, I'm an angel, Yvette. Now, whatever counterattack you may have in mind, you have to remember that I have to maintain my angelic status. I mean, the Father loves me unconditionally, but I don't want Him to get mad at me, or worse, send Sam to scold me. I'm still an angel, after all, at least I was before you started making trouble with me with that interview I gave last week.

Y: What happened, did Tess find out about it or something? I mean, I'm only asking because you're really acting like a wimp right now.

A: I'm not a wimp. <he pouts, sticking his lower lip out and me, those gray blue eyes of his staring at me.>

Y: OK, you're not a wimp, Adam. Was Tess really mad at you?

A: Well, you could say that, she was so mad at me that I thought I had died. You got me into quite a bit of trouble, you know, but no one on the message board even knows how angry Tess was when I told you that she was more stubborn than Ashley. Tess looked at me and said, and I quote: 'I'm not that stubborn, Angel Boy.'

Y: Well, after reading 'Dangerous Ground', I didn't think anyone, not even Tess, was more stubborn. <g>

A: You haven't worked with Tess like I have.

Y: OK, you win, I'm sorry, Adam, I didn't intend to get you into so much trouble, but I figured that the remarks you made about chandeliers falling on people's heads, or the cocktail wiener thing, you would not catch any grief from the other angels for having talked to me about that story. Now I feel like two cents. *sniff*

A: Oh Yvette, I didn't mean to make you feel that way, come here. <He takes me into his arms and hugs me. I rest my head against his shoulder, his beard is tickling the side of my face, but I don't mind, I feel rather comforted there, actually.> OK, now what should we do to get Ashley over being mad at both of us?

Y: I don't know, I thought that she would laugh it off, but then Jennifer has jumped into it, and Ashley is feeling a wee bit ganged up on, I think.

A: <chuckles> Yes, so I have seen, then you, my dear, went back and topped the interview. Did you not think that someone would come along and read it?

Y: <I grin> Actually, I hoped that they would.

A: You have been watching way too much Monty Python, my dear.

Y: You don't sound as upset about that fact as I thought you would be. I mean, I really believed for a long time that that was where you got inspired to make jokes about such things.

A: I think now you're ganging up on me. What am I going to do with you?

Y: Help me think of a counterattack, Adam. <I look up at him, my eyes filled with a mischievous twinkle.>

A: OK, though I don't really know how much trouble that's going to land us in, I'll have to think about it for awhile, that is if it is really going to be good.

Y: Maybe we can get Britney involved.

A: You read her response, I think she's more interested in interviewing or talking to Andrew. You read how she responded to me when she went into Ashley's room earlier in the story. She doesn't really like me all that much. I never thought I could be scared of a human being, but chapter 8 just about floored me. *sniff*

Y: Maybe that's true, but I haven't seen Andrew around, so I couldn't even send him to her house. Besides, you're a strong confident angel, you can handle it when people get a little aggravated with things.

A: Yes, but you know that if Andrew shows up anywhere, the Androoler in question would probably drown in all those drool pools? You would too, don't deny it.

Y: OK, touché, but still, that wouldn't happen at Ashley's, she prefers you to be her Angel of Death.

A: <smiles brightly at being someone's first choice as AoD> It makes my day, I must say.

Y: <After he sits there groveling for a few minutes in utter happiness, I finally got annoyed enough with his sudden silence, so I found my voice and spoke.> Earth to Adam! Will you get your head out of the clouds and back to the task at hand? I mean; we have to think of a counter attack before I need an Angel of Death myself to take me Home. I could get into some serious trouble here, not that I can't handle it. If I can handle myself with certain situations, then I can handle this, but I need a certain smart aleck angel to help me out! *hint hint*.

A: OK, but I am not a smart aleck. You'll just have to let me get back to you during part three of this insanity and I'll think about what I'm going to say or do, but you, need to think about this as well. I've worked solo long enough, and you and I make a great team.

Y: Yeah, but you can't die, you're an angel, I am a mere mortal, so you'd better think of something fast, or I'm going to be in a bucket full of hot water.

A: I won't leave you in your time of need, my dear.

Y: OK, I'm counting on that.

A: And I'm counting on you being my official freshly squeezed orange juice provider until you go Home, and that won't be tomorrow, because that doesn't provide me with much incentive.

Y: I just thrive on being needed.

A: I know the feeling.

As we stop trying to plan, or not plan, as the case may be, Adam tells me that he has to get back to Ashley and Britney's story, and that he would see me back here for part three. I guess now that I'm obligated to interview him for a third time, I'd better get going and stock up on oranges.

Part 3

I hadn't cried this much since I watched 'ET' on video. I had been crying so much, that my apartment was under the risk of flooding. The local news was already here, they were asking me all kinds of questions, the main one being 'Was ist Passiert?' Which in English is 'what happened?' They thought a water main had broken, but it was only my apartment that was flooding and there hadn't been rain in weeks.

As I tried to get the tears out of my eyes, the reporters finally left, and I reached for a mop and tried to get the rest of the moisture out of here. It didn't work too well, simply because the more I mopped, the more tears fell… What a life, now I was mad at Adam, he had made a comment about Androolers and now I was in trouble with them because of it. Life was just soooooo unfair.

I had bought twenty pounds of oranges after Adam had left, we had so many oranges in our kitchen that I thought we were living in the middle of a Florida orange plantation. Now I had all these oranges, and the angel that had gotten me into so much hot water was now staying away….right in the middle of my hour of need. Life just wasn't fair.

As I continued to mope about this, Adam finally decided to show up, but in the living room, where I had no ammunition to throw at him. I would have liked to have thrown a few oranges at him, but opted not to because I have teddy bear figures made of porcelain here, and didn't want to break them. Instead I looked up at him, my eyes once again filling with tears and my lips trembling.

Adam: Yvette, what on earth is wrong?

Yvette: I…I <I'm trying to speak, but it was rather hard, and instead managing to get any words out besides that one, I began to sob uncontrollably and literally collapsed in his arms.>

Adam: <This is all new to him, and he's looking at me with a rather bewildered look on his face. I mean, what do you think? My tears are flooding the apartment, he's had to wade through salt water to reach me, if I didn't know better I would think that this is a ploy instigated by my sneaky message board sister.> Shhhh, it's OK.

Y: They …

Adam: I know, I saw everything. don't you worry, everything is going to be OK:

Y: <I'm still crying, now he has helped me to sit down on the sofa.> I just…<My voice trails off, the words just fail me at the moment.>

Adam: I think we need a little bit of help here. <As he closes his eyes, Andrew appears in the room and he is looking at us with an uncanny bewilderment shadowing his face. Here he was being sent to a flood victim, but had no idea that it was a flood caused by my tears, which brought him here.> Andrew, buddy, am I glad to see you.

Andrew: You really got her into a lot of trouble, you know.

Adam: Me? What did I do?

Andrew: That comment you made about my supporters. You should have known that this kind of thing would happen, and now she's really stuck in the middle. This is like dressing up as a hot dog and going to the dog pound.

Adam: <chuckles, but he is still consoling me. After a second of contemplating what Andrew had just said, he realizes the err in his judgment he understands that something needs to be done to reestablish my reputation among my fellow Androolers.> Yvette, someone's here to help us.

Y: <I look up, but can barely believe that Andrew is standing in my flooded out apartment.> Andrew…but I don't understand, I thought you'd be mad at me like everyone else is.

Andrew: I am not mad at you, Yvette.

Y: The others are, even Juli posted a mad looking face from that last part, but it wasn't my fault. <As I speak, a new flood of tears begin to fall down over my face and Andrew sits down on the other side of me on the sofa. He wraps me in his arms and holds me as I continue to cry. Yes, I know, I'm hamming this one up, so sue me. Nyeh nyeh nyeh.>

Adam: What are we going to do, Andrew, Yvette is totally devastated. The others are going to say that she's hamming it up, but I think she's really upset, and now the rumor going around the message board is some joker named Fox Mulder has been turned to for assistance, and the word is, he's one of those people who investigates UFOs and paranormal activity.

Andrew: I know, I saw, and I also remember something about a wisecrack about Yvette and paranormal going hand in hand.

Y: Wahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!

Andrew: Shhh, it's OK, sweetheart, I don't think you're any more paranormal than Ashley. In fact, I know you're not.

Y: Really? *sniff*

Andrew: <nods and smiles at me.> Now, why don't we get your apartment a little fixed up and we can plan how we're going to respond to all these allegations?

Y: You're going to help me? I thought you'd be mad at me like everyone else is.

Adam: <chuckles> No kidding.

Andrew: I'm not mad at you, but we really need to plan something.

Y: What? I only started this as a sort of joke, I wasn't out for blood, pillows, or feathers. Now they're resorting to spies and pillow launchers. *shudder*

As Andrew and Adam start to get the tear flood cleaned up I'm sitting on the sofa watching as they are looking out for and taking care of me. After some time, Andrew comes into the living room where I am sitting and he looks at me as he runs his hand through his now damp blonde hair.

Andrew: Do you have any buckets, Yvette?

Y: On the balcony.

He leaves the room once again and once the angels finish, they sit down on the sofa with me, Adam on one side, Andrew on the other. Now, that the apartment is dry, I am looking at them with gratitude evidently showing on my face.

Y: Thank you. <My voice is small, but I manage to look at the two of them with all the gratitude I could muster.>

Adam: It's all OK, sweetheart, now we need to do something about those spies, we don't need you to become paranoid as well. From what I hear Agent Mulder is paranoid enough, and the last thing you need is for that to rub off on you.

Andrew. So who could we get to help?

Y: I don't know…

As the three friends sit looking at one another, none of them know who it is that could help them deal with how this turn of events has come about…they drop a number of names, though, like Santa Claus, Superman, The Easter Bunny, and Mister Rogers, but after thinking about it so much, they finally decide to go into the kitchen and do something about the oranges that are waiting to be pressed into juice. I am still not sure who it is that the two angels would be able to find to help me out of this mess, but it is certainly nice to have their support.

Part 4

The days were longer, it was getting warmer outside, which is nice, but the idea of a snowball fight with my board sis quickly melted as did the snow outside. Adam, Andrew and I were left still trying to think of some adequate ideas or manners in which to retaliate.

It was a nice afternoon, and Andrew had gotten up to excuse himself. He explained that he had to go get Britney for the next part of our plan. Alone, Adam and I conversed about this new turn of events with Britney coming to our side. Of course, I didn't know if she was coming to our side, or merely to Andrew's. I was still hesitant about this, but Adam advised me that it was not smart to assume that Britney was only coming because of Andrew.

Yvette: Juli is still mad at me, she's still posting all those angry faces at me. I guess the only thing we can do is ask the Father to allow Andrew to take turns at the homes of these people. Maybe if we ask Him, they won't be mad at me anymore if Andrew shows up on their front porch.

Adam: You're still upset about this aren't you?

Y: I guess so, it's not easy to look at all those mad faces all the time, specially since I'm a generally happy person. I feel like I'm watching a hockey match instead of visiting the TBAA message boards. *shudder* All those teeth!!!!!!

Adam: <Chuckles> Don't worry, you're not alone in all of this.

Y: OK you're right, but what should we do until Andrew gets here with Britney?

Adam: I don't know, I've already drank all your orange juice.

Y: I know, you're going to turn into an orange if you keep drinking so much of that stuff. You ever see 'Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory', this girl turned into a blueberry? I would hate to see you turn into an orange, Adam.

Adam: Not to worry, that was fiction.

<We both look around the room with wide eyes at the mention of 'fiction' and Adam relaxes when Andrew and Britney arrive in Yvette's living room. Adam is grateful that the subject of people turning into fruit has died off, but Britney is looking rather happy, though she is not particularly used to the German weather and shivers ever so slightly, which you can believe because it is at least fifteen degrees cooler than where she probably lives.>

Andrew: OK, Yvette, we are back. Britney, not so tight, even angels need to breathe, sweetheart. <he can tell that she is shivering so he grabs the comforter off the chair and sits down on the sofa with his friend next to him and wraps the comforter around her to help warm her.>

Britney: <blushes and smiles weakly> Sorry about that Andrew.

<Once the four friends have sat down in the living room, I smiled weakly at Britney, but she doesn't notice as she's still gazing up at Andrew as though she is completely star-struck. I guess I wouldn't blame her, he's rather charming, especially when he smiles.>

Y: So do you guys have any idea about how to battle this Fox Mulder guy? Britney, what can I do to get him to leave me alone? I'm starting to feel like a rat in a cage.

Adam: Good thing you don't look like one.

B: I don't think that's helping matters, Adam.

Andrew: <whispers to Britney> His humor takes a little getting used to.

Y: You know who I think we need to help us?

<Andrew and Adam both look at me with confusion, but when they see a broad smile on my face they start to wonder what kind of mischievous thoughts I'm thinking.>

B: Who do you know of who is a stronger personality than Agent Mulder, Yvette?

Y: Micah. He is an angel, and he's so persuasive, that he could probably challenge anything that they dish out. He's also older, and wiser than any of us.

B: You just like his alter Ego, Roy Dotrice, Yvette.

Y: <I grin as though I am the cat that ate the canary> OK, touché, you're right, but let me tell you, there have been so many people my age and a bit older who have been totally overwhelmed when someone mentions the name Sean Connery, but I have always gotten sweaty palms when Roy Dotrice's name was brought up. He was so great as 'Father' in 'Beauty and the Beast' and seeing him as Micah was soooooo great. <I'm still grinning like the Cheshire cat, and Adam reaches over and touches my shoulder.>

Adam: You need to calm down, you know Micah is still guarding the Ark of the Covenant so that particular angel is not available to help protect you right now. You'll have to settle for Andrew and me.

Y: I don't mind. <I grin at them> But, Andrew, do you know of another angel who could help us?

Andrew: Isn't two angels enough for you, Yvette?

Y: I think for Britney, one is enough, especially one named Andrew.

Adam: <chortles when he sees Britney is leaning snugly up against Andrew, her head so comfortably resting against his shoulder and she's looking up at him with a smile that would provide the entire city of Chicago with electricity for the next two months.> OK, listen, we have to think about who we can get to help Yvette deal with this Fox Mulder character.

B: Why don't you try and contact Superman? You did actually mention him in the last part. He's got super-hearing, so chances are you could reach him unless he and Lois are on a deserted island somewhere. <She looks at Andrew, but the angel shakes his head.>

Andrew: First we'll take care of things here then you'll get what I promised you, OK? <Andrew smiles and Britney melts like butter left out in the sun. If you can imagine, by this time Britney's invented a new language of sighs and stammering.>

Y: Superman wouldn't be too bad, but he's probably busy protecting Metropolis and Lois, so I guess taking him away from his other duties would not be prudent.

Adam: I was wondering, aren't there any people on the board who might secretly sympathize with this little situation?

Y: Not hardly, Adam, you've read the messages, Juli is really mad at me, and I don't know why. <I roll my eyes innocently and Adam ruffles my hair.>

Adam: You are really too much, you know.

Y: I know, that's what Sven says, too.

Andrew: He's right, you really are. <As he speaks, Britney is looking around for some grapes, her wide eyes filled with innocence and Andrew looks over at me his eyebrows arching slightly, but I know he's wanting to say I'm a pill.>

Y: As you were about to say, Andrew, I'm a pill, and I am absolutely proud of it. Do you know what; Angel Boy? <Before he can respond, I continue.> I know you love me anyway, because I'm so sweet and nice.

B: Don't forget modest, Yvette.

Y: Yes, one of my more redeeming qualities. <LOL> But, as Kimbre said in her story, I am not afraid to go where no man….uh. woman has gone before. She knows me rather well, I'd say. Right Adam?

Adam: Whatever you say, now we need to decide who is going to help us, we have two people, two angels….

B: Where is Sven? I mean, he's your husband, he should be here helping you, shouldn't he?

Andrew, Adam & Y: <Simultaneously> The airport, where else?

B: Oh….then who can we hire to infiltrate their camp?

Andrew: <smiles coyly at Britney, his eyes meeting hers and she starts to shake her head. She knows what he's thinking and she doesn't like it one single bit.> You're Ashley's partner in crime, are you not, Britney? I think maybe we can arrange a little sneak attack and cover up.

B: <Whining> I can't do that Andrew, Ashley is one of my best friends, I can't choose between her and you. It's just not fair. <She looks up at him, her eyes wide and filling with tears. Of course the Angel of Death melts like butter. He's such a sensitive and compassionate soul, don'tcha know?>

Andrew: Would you do this for me? <he's now dishing out his own puppy dog eyed look at Britney and she looks to me for help. I can't help but roll my eyes at the two of them, this is just so silly.>

Y: Wait a minute, Andrew, she's right, and Ashley is my little sis, and I don't want to do anything to hurt or humiliate her, I just want to keep this Mulder joker at bay. And another thing, don't even ask about the cigarette guy, I have asthma and I hate cigarette smoke, so that doesn't work at all.

Adam: OK, why don't we see if there is someone on the board that can help? You can tell them to inbox ideas to Yvette.

Y: Yes, but who can we get to help now, and if we think of a plan, what are we going to do?

Adam: Maybe invite them to dinner?

B: Oh yeah, then they'd be sitting around thinking we poisoned the entrée.

Adam: Well, not to worry. Andrew and I are here.

Y: Not now, Angel Boy, or I'll have to tell Tess.

Adam: <looks horrified but the others laugh at his feigned shock.> I don't think that's funny Yvette, I was only kidding.

Y: Well OK, maybe we should think about this, April first is coming up, maybe we can get away with the gag to end all gags. I mean; I know that it's not easy to plan something in an open forum, but a good joke would be just what my little sis could use. Might help her lighten up and send that Mulder joker packing!!!

Andrew: Not bad…but what could we do?

B: I haven't the foggiest. <She looks up at Andrew, her eyes still shining.> You going to take me to see that sunset like you promised before you take me home?

Y: <rolls eyes, but looks at Andrew.> A sunset?

Adam: I won't even go there.

Andrew: <smiles sheepishly> I was sort of bribed when I went to pick Britney up. Now I have to fulfill what I promised. An angel always does you know?

Y: I don't think either of you guys would mind too terribly, it's peaceful and all that, so I guess Adam and I will stick around here, maybe he can help me spy slash Mulder proof the apartment.

Adam: All part of the friendly service.

As Andrew and Britney disappear, Adam helps me get the house in order, all the while we are tossing around ideas for the ultimate April Fools joke.

Part 5

Later that night, I went into intensive negotiations with Ashley: Initially, we thought that to discuss this little situation, that we ought to meet in cyberspace. It was agreed that this was a hard time for both of us, yet, the humor seemed to be the one thing that sustained us throughout the evening. When we ended, there was no agreement met.

However, it was then, during the course of our discussion that a major brainstorm hit me, one that went so wonderfully along with our plan that I could not curtail the giggling that overcame me whenever I thought about it. For so long, I had sat here on the defensive, and now my camp seemed to have something that the other did not have. I couldn't stop giggling, thus bringing Adam into the room to where he was standing behind me as I typed diligently my half of this discussion.

Yvette: Adam, I think I finally figured something out.

Adam: Pray tell?

Y: Well, think about it, where do I live?

Adam: Here, but I don't see the connection, you live in an apartment with Sven and 400 plus teddy bears, but Yvette what does that have to do with the problem at hand?

<Before I could respond Andrew has returned, he had taken Britney to Hawaii to show her that sunset and he showed up here with a tan, Hawaiian shirt, and shades. He looked rather like Don Johnson in a 'Miami Vice' episode. Unfortunately, this look did not suit him at all, and I looked at him with disbelief in my eyes.>

Y: Where are your normal clothes, Andrew?

Andrew: What, where I was, the weather was quite nice, and Britney was wearing a pretty lei that was filled with yellow flowers and smelled really good.

Y: That's nice for her, but I think you look ridiculous in a lei.

Andrew: <removes the lei he's wearing and puts it over my head> It looks better now, I think.

Y: <sighing contentedly, I bury my nose in the flowers, the scent of them absolutely wonderful.> Next time you go to Hawaii, Andrew, don't forget to take me with you.

Adam: I think Sven might have a few objections.

Y: Are you kidding? I would be safe with Andrew, he would be nothing less than a perfect gentleman, right Angel Boy?

Andrew: Yes, Yvette, I happen to know that you would be a perfect angel.

Y: Don't say that too loud, Juli will think that I am using my feminine charms to make you do something that would be in my best interest. <I look at him, my eyes sad.>

Adam: Yvette, we both know that you're a good person, you don't have to worry about the 'Hockey Mask girl'.

Andrew: Excuse me?

Adam: Well, she shows so many mad faces that I think she missed her calling with the NHL.

Y: Your going to get me into real trouble, Adam, and all this time, even during Britney's visit, I was trying to play nice. I even negotiated with Ashley a few days ago.

Andrew: You did? Well, that's a start.

Y: Not really, she's still insisting on letting Spooky Mulder spy on me.

Andrew: Did you log the conversation?

Y: Partially, but during that I started thinking about this Mulder problem, and how strangely observed I've been feeling as of late. It's downright creepy.

Adam: What did you find out?

Y: Well, because Mulder works for the US government, he decided to not come here and terrorize me, so they were thinking about sending someone else, but I know why Mulder has chickened out.

Andrew: Why?

Y: Well, when she and I were talking about him, I eluded to the fact that I live in Germany and that if he came here, I'd file criminal charges against him and send him to the big house. Then I told Ashley that then she would get to see him in blue prison garb. She did not take too kindly to that.

Adam: What did she say to that?

Y: 'You wouldn't.' I told her that the ball was in his court, and that he should not push me.

Andrew. But, something's wrong, you've got that look on your face again. <he looked at me, his eyes intent.> Yvette, tell us, it's OK, you can tell us anything, and we'll do whatever we can to help you. I think you know that we're your friends.

Y: I just feel like everyone's ganging up on me. It's hard.

Adam: You mean the other people on the board?

Y: <I nod> I just wanted to have a little fun, and then I tried to help make things better, people were still mad at me. What am I doing that's so wrong?

Andrew: Don't start keeping lists, sweetheart, simply because you aren't doing anything wrong. You are taking something that started out wrong, and trying to make it right.

At that moment, Tess appeared in the room, and this angel did not look happy, in fact, she looked rather annoyed.

Tess: So here you two Angel Boys are, I just talked to Monica and Gloria, and there seems to be a little problem here that needs to be resolved. <She looks at me and I cower from intimidation.> Now, young lady, what's this I hear about you and your board sister at odds with each other?

Y. Yes, Tess, but I…

T: …Don't you 'But Tess', me I have been watching what has been happening here, and I'm surprised at you. Here you are this grown woman, and you're making plans to terrorize your little sister. What do you have to say for yourself?

Y: When you put it that way. <I look at Andrew, my eyes pleading with him for help.>

Andrew: Tess, she is dealing with a lot right now don't you think that maybe you're being just a tiny bit hard on her?

T: 'Hard', you watch what you're saying, Mr. Halo. <As she speaks, Adam tries to slink out of the room, but she turns and her voice stops him dead in his tracks.> And you, Mister Cocktail Wiener, haven't you stirred up enough trouble here? Now you're trying to make good on your escape and flee the room before I have my say.

Adam: Tess, would you just look at her? <he points to me, and I'm sitting at the computer looking down at my lap.> She's devastated, and I think you know that as angels we are supposed to help those in need.

T: Yes, but this little girl has been taking full advantage of your compassion, and it has been with both of you. Now, I don't condone how this started, and comparing me to Ashley and saying that I am more stubborn than she is remains to be seen, but I'm going to tell you this Adam, Yvette needs friends, yes, but she also needs to know that all this plotting and planning is very un-angelic, and you two have, instead of being shining examples of the Father's love, you are making things worse.

Y: <I am still feeling rather sheepish right now, of course it wasn't as I expected The last thing I needed or hoped for would be a lecture from Tess. Now it all seemed rather silly and petty.> I'm sorry, you guys, I didn't mean for this to get so out of line.

Adam. <looks me in the eyes.> It's not your fault, Yvette. None of us expected to have to answer to Tess for all of this.

Andrew: Adam's right, you know. <He looked at Tess.> You know, something about this doesn't seem right. Tess, did you give this same little speech to Ashley?

T: Well, now that you mention it, no, I felt that because Yvette is older that she was the one who should have gotten it.

Adam: <stands up and looks at her.> You know, there is something rather fishy going on around here and it's not the seafood restaurant down the street either.

Andrew: I think you're right, Adam, for one thing, Tess has never, ever called you 'Mister Cocktail Wiener' in all the time you have known her, and even when she got upset about the 'Alexander thing', she never resorted to mean spirited name calling. <He looks at 'Tess'.> OK, I think this is really starting to come together, you're not really Tess, are you?

T: No, I'm not.

Y: <I finally look at her.> Who are you then?

T: I'm a friend of Fox Mulder, I helped his sister escape from the aliens.

Y: How did you manage that? Unless you are an alien too?

T: Our race has very good cloning abilities.

Y: <I rush into Adam's arms.> An alien, there's an alien in my house. Oh God, I don't know if I can handle this.

Adam: <continues to hold me.> I think you'd better get out of here before the real Tess finds out that you cloned her. I mean if she were to see you, she might think that Tessa has somehow written herself into this piece, and I can't be responsible for dealing with demons and aliens all in one piece of fan fiction. Even I have my limits.

Andrew: No kidding. <He steps closer to the Tess clone and as he comes closer the brightness of his Hawaiian gear is so dazzling that it causes the Tess clone to cringe and after a few seconds she disappears and he looks at Yvette.> You know the last time I saw anything as silly as this was when they played 'Mars Attacks' on TV last week.

Y: You saved us, Andrew, you and that ridiculous shirt. You're my hero, Angel Boy, thank you. <I fall into Andrew's arms next.> But, do you honestly think that Ashley would send a Tess clone to infiltrate us?

Adam: I don't know, but maybe we should be asking Agent Mulder these questions, because this is getting almost too weird for two Angels of Death to handle.

Y: Don't forget me, I'm the human in this mess, and I'm about to go out of my mind. And if Juli or Ashley read this they will probably make some wisecrack about this being my normal frame of mind. <I look imploringly at Adam.> What are we going to do?

Adam: Sleep on it, maybe in Part Six, we'll have some ideas to go with.

We agree, and once I turned off the computer, I went down the hall to bed.

Part 6

So it was decided, Sven would be at the airport all day long, not that that was anything remotely resembling a newsflash. Britney had arrived with Andrew, and Adam was now asleep on our fold out sofa, his arm wrapped snugly around one of our teddy bears. He really looked cute with a large teddy named Ferdinand wrapped in his arms, but I digress…

In order to soothe my nerves, I had to turn on some music, so I chose my favorite band, the Monkees. Having Davy Jones crooning in the background was so sickeningly sweet that I figured that it would get my mind off how Ashley was going to strike next.

However, with the news filtering in that Juli and Kimbre had joined her side, I was starting to feel more and more ganged up on, and without Adam and Andrew's help, I knew that I wouldn't have been able to get through any of this. As luck would have it, Sven and I were getting ready to go on vacation, to a secret undisclosed location. Adam and Andrew had gotten some time off, so we could go and plot our next move without anyone knowing where we were going.

Adam <waking up and looking around the room> Yvette? Andrew? Where is everyone?

Yvette: I'm here, and Britney and Andrew are in the kitchen, they're mixing up orange juice and ginger ale. Strange I didn't think one could get ginger ale here in Germany, but oh well.

Adam: You OK?

Y: <I shake my head.> Adam, I feel like my heart's been torn out and stomped on.

Adam: You're still responding to all the things going on at the message board. What happened, did 'Miss July' get on your case again?

Y: <I look at him completely bewildered> Miss July?

Adam: Well, she didn't like my comment about the hockey mask, so I thought a nicer nickname would be in order. Juli is actually a nice name in English, but in German, it's the month, sooooo….

Y: Just as long as you don't get me into anymore trouble, I do like to keep at least a few of my friends. All I know, is your jokes sometimes get me into an awful lot of difficulty.

As I speak, Andrew and Britney come out of the kitchen. Britney is looking at Andrew, her lips are puckered as though she had eaten something completely disgusting.

Britney: As much as I love you, Andrew, I will *never* drink orange juice and ginger ale together, and I don't care how cute you are or how often you give me that *wounded puppy dog* look.

Andrew: <smiling> Well, you were the one who told me you wanted to try it, as long as I mixed it together for you.

Y: Are you playing barkeep now, Andrew?

Andrew: Yep, what can I get for you, my dear?

Y: Nothing, I'm not really thirsty.

Adam: She's upset about the message board again, buddy.

Andrew: <puts his arms around my shoulders.> It's OK, sweetheart, we both know that you're doing the best you can.

B: Yeah, and all that hogwash about Yvette brainwashing Andrew. *blah* I'm spending far more time with you than Yvette is, aren't I Andrew? So, I don't get this nonsense about Yvette brainwashing anyone.

Adam: <nods in agreement> It's hard. <looks at Andrew and sees his unhappy face.> I know what you're thinking buddy, you're worried about what Juli is going to say, simply because you're being nice to Yvette. I mean, how is an angel supposed to react to someone, mean and malicious? I don't think so.

Andrew: But still, it is unfair that they expect me to choose between Yvette and Ashley, or Yvette and Juli or Juli and Britney. I just can't do that, I love them all. Why can't they understand that I am incapable of being brainwashed?

Y: Would it help if I just threw in the towel, Andrew? I mean; if I do, then at least from this side you won't have to choose. It might just make things easier for you.

B: No, I won't let you give up, and neither will Andrew. Will you? <She looks at Andrew almost expecting him to know what answer he is supposed to give, but when he remains quiet, she continues.> Andrew, how hard is this question?

Andrew: Look, I know that it doesn't become an Angel of Death to whine, but this just isn't fair, I mean; there must be a way for all of us to get out of this mess…

Before he could continue, the doorbell rings, and I leave the room to answer it. As I pull it open, I see that Gloria is standing on the other side, a slip of paper in her hand. She looks up.

Gloria: Yvette?

Y: <Nodding> Yes.

G: Hi, I just was in the neighborhood.

Y: In Germany, well, I guess to each his or her own. Come on in.

Gloria comes into the apartment, but I'm hesitant about telling her anything, not because she appeared to be a part of Ashley's plan, but also because I knew that she was with Monica earlier on and that it didn't take a rocket scientist, or even someone like me, a major flub up in anything scientific to see through what was going on. Monica was with Ashley, and if Gloria was with Monica, then she was also with Ashley. You follow???

Y: Adam, Andrew, one of your cohorts in mischief is here.

The two angels come out of the living room followed close behind by Britney.

Adam: Gloria, I don't believe we've met. I'm Adam.

G: Hello.

Andrew: Did Monica send you?

G: <hedging with her answer> No.

Adam & Andrew: Ashley sent you, didn't she?

G: Yes.

Y: What are you here for, to give me a hard time, spray rainbow colored shaving cream in my face? You know, I've already had a Tess clone pay me a visit, and then I got a bunch of people mad at me.

B: Typical of them, they use a young, naïve angel to do their dirty work. I just can't believe them sometimes. <she shakes her head, but looks at Andrew.> What should we do?

Andrew: Gloria, tell me, what do they have planned?

G: I don't know exactly, all I know is that I came here to talk to you guys.

At that moment, Sven comes home. His perfect day of flying got rained out and he is not in a very good mood. As he enters the apartment, he sees Adam, Andrew, Gloria, Britney, and me standing in the hallway.

Sven: What's going on?

Y: <Rushes into his arms and gives him a kiss.> This is kinda hard to explain, honey, but I need help with a really great April fools joke, do you have any ideas.

Adam: Wait, if we talk about this with Gloria here, she'll go back to Ashley and blab everything.

S: Don't be so sure, I've heard all about Gloria. What's say we go into the kitchen and I'll show you a few Chemistry experiments? I have all these sets from when I was little and Yvette's not really interested in Chemistry, but I heard that you liked science. What's say we leave them alone, and have some real fun? I've got a great experiment that makes the entire house smell like rotten eggs.

Gloria looks interested in learning something new, so she nods and once she and Sven disappear into the kitchen the door is closed behind them.

B: Does your husband really know how to make things smell like rotten eggs?

Y: Yeah, he loves that stuff, it drives me nuts.

Adam: Do you think it would drive Ashley nuts?

Andrew: I would guess it would, wouldn't you, Britney?

B: Do fish swim?

Y: This is great, Gloria's going to go back to Ashley, and no one's gonna want to be within three feet of her, because she's gonna reek like rotten eggs. I suddenly can be very thankful that Sven has kept those Chemistry sets, this will be the best gag ever.

Andrew: Wait a minute, Gloria doesn't deserve that, OK, she's working for the other side, but we have to think of a way to keep her from getting hurt.

Y: Don't worry Andrew, it will only be evident in her clothing, it won't be in her skin or anything. As soon as she washes her clothes, the smell will be gone. I wouldn't even dream of subjecting her to something if it's gonna hurt her.

B: Besides, today is Easter Monday, Andrew, it would be awfully fitting for someone to return to Ashley with the lovely scent of eggs on them.

Adam: You guys are wicked.

Y: Hey, Angel Boy, I happen to learn from the best. <I wrap my arms around him and hug him.> Adam, why don't you go and see her a few minutes after Gloria goes, just so she'll know that there's no hard feelings. Besides I kind of miss Ashley, and I don't want to declare an all out war against her.

Adam: <hugging me.> OK, if you're certain, but you know that they may try to get me on their side, but I'll always be on your side, Yvette.

Andrew: <leans over and whispers.> Me too.

Seconds later a minor explosion erupts and the scent of rotten eggs begins to permeate throughout the apartment. Gloria emerges the odor of rotten eggs seeming to stick to her like glue. Sven emerges some moments later and grins.

S: Sorry Gloria, too much sulfur.

The young angel is fanning her hand in front of her face trying to get rid of the smell.

G: Is this how you two normally treat your guests? <Her question is directed at me, but she's looking at Sven as though he had planned this minor mishap.>

Y: <I can't contain myself, and I begin to laugh.> Sorry, Gloria, it looks like the joke is on you.

Britney, Andrew, and Adam begin to laugh, and I run into the bedroom and pick up some clothes pins. Once I return, I hand them to her.

Y: You'd better take some of these back to Ashley's with you. They may not let you in the house without them. Tell them we send our 'Happy April Fools Day' wishes to them.

With that Gloria disappears and the five friends erupt in gales of laugher. Sven breaks from the laugher first and he looks at the two angels innocently.

S: I cannot tell a lie, it was an accident, I really did add too much sulfur.

Part 7

Adam returned to us a little while after visiting Ashley, and we were still in Tenerife on vacation. He knocked on the door and Sven answered. As he came into the hotel room, he could see that I had finished getting dressed to go to dinner. The angel stood proudly with his 'peace offering' in hand as I was adjusting the shawl, which matched my dark blue evening dress.

Adam: Yvette, you look lovely. <He smiled at me as he held the small green box in his hands.>

Sven: You see, I told you, but you insisted that you were not about to go out in public in that dress. Now that Adam has assured you of how pretty you are, will you go?

Yvette: Sure, I'll go, but only because you guys are being so nice to me. Besides that, there's also this little fact that I really love being on vacation as well as I really love the food here.

S: Me too. <Notices Adam still standing in the room with the box in hand.> What's that, Adam.

Adam: It's actually a gift for Yvette.

Y: From you? <I smile thinking how thoughtful it was of Adam to bring me a present while we're on vacation, but his next words tended to dampen my daydreams of gifts from angels.>

Adam: Actually, no, it's from Ashley. She's offered you this as a sort of peace offering. She was really being nice about it, too.

Y: Nice, huh, I wonder what she's after or trying to achieve with this…sounds like a role reversal, either that or she's infatuated with your pretty blue eyes.

Adam: No, Yvette, she was really being nice and sincere. Juli and Kim thought she was being brainwashed by me. <He chuckles.>

Y: Yes Adam, you're undeniably cute and irresistible, but I still think she's got something sneaky up her sleeve. What is it in here, it smells kinda weird?

Adam: Perfume.

Y: <I sigh deeply as I shove the box back into his arms and I walk into the bathroom leaving Sven and Adam alone in the room.> I'll be right back.

Adam: <looks at Sven somewhat perplexed.> Did I say something wrong?

S: No, Adam, it's just that Yvette cannot accept this gift, you see, she's highly allergic to perfumes, anytime she smells it, not only does her asthma start to act up, but she sneezes profusely because of it. It's got a terrible affect on her.

Adam: Really, I didn't know that. Well, what should we do about it? I can't hardly take this back to Ashley, it would be terribly rude to do so, not to mention un-angelic.

S: I don't know, I mean it's no wonder Yvette's so upset, she gets a gift of good-will and cannot even use it.

<At that moment, Britney and Andrew arrive. Miraculously they too have arrived on the island of Tenerife and are ready to go to dinner with us in the fancy hotel restaurant.>

Britney: Did you guys catch the size of that pool? It was humongous. Andrew and I tried it out too after we bought appropriate bathing suits in the hotel boutique. Good thing people in Spain don't know about TBAA, or else they might get a tad worried that the Angel of Death is hanging around here and swimming in the pool right outside of this hotel.

Andrew: Very funny, Britney, but we need to plan what we are going to do about Ashley now, that's why we are here with Yvette and Sven on their Canary Island vacation.

B: Maybe we should get Yvette out of the bathroom. I need to get in there and dry my hair as well as get dressed for dinner. <Casting a sideways look at Andrew, but holding a brick red colored dress and a lighter colored scarf.>

Adam: So what should we do with the perfume Ashley sent?

B: <looks intently at the bottle now in Adam's hand and grimaces once she recognizes it.> I'd say you should probably be smart and throw that crud away. Ashley has really gone for the gusto this time. What did she tell you that made you bring that nasty guck with you anyway Adam?

Adam: What do you mean, Britney?

B: <sarcastically> Well, sweetie, if you want to know what I mean, take the lid off that *perfume* and take a whiff, but do so very carefully, because you're going to die when you smell what's inside that bottle.

<Adam does as she says, but when he pulls the lid off the smell is so strong that he drops it and the bottle shatters on the floor at Britney's feet.>

B: <whining> I told you to be careful, you knucklehead.

Adam: I was, but that caught me by surprise.

Andrew: Back up Britney, so you don't cut your feet on the glass. We need to get this cleaned up, that smell is powerful, to say the least.

<Seconds later the door to the bathroom opens and I come out to smell that…>

Y: What on earth?

Adam: Yvette, be careful, I don't want you to cut your feet on this glass. Maybe we can get some paper towels out of the bathroom and clean this up.

Y: <I hand him a box of tissues which he places on the bed> Sven what happened?

S: Ashley strikes again, I'm afraid. I guess this is turning into 'The Battle of the Scents'.

Y: Yeah, this time it smells like a dead skunk on the Texas highway. <I try to step over the shattered bottle, but I can't very well jump over it so Adam reaches over and picks me up in his arms and carries me over the glass splinters.>

S: <looking down at his bare feet and smiling gratefully at Adam who was wearing shoes and came to my rescue.> But, Andrew, what about us? I mean; we have to sleep here and this is absolutely awful. What are the hotel personnel going to say when they come in here and smell this…this…skunk all over this place? They're going to think we were housing pets in here, but all kidding aside, you can bet that they won't take kindly to this.

Y: I'm gonna get her and good for this…this is terrible.

<As I speak, Andrew goes and opens the sliding glass door, and as luck would have it, Tenerife is experiencing yet another very gusty day, the wind is blowing rather severely and Adam and Andrew take to the task of getting the 'perfume' mopped up. All the toilet paper and tissues in the room is used to clean this mess up, but it doesn't matter, because after about half an hour the glass, and the smell is somewhat lessened.>

Y: I am not impressed with this, the sulfur was an accident, but this was done intentionally and ON PURPOSE!! I think now is the time for the big guns. It's time to call in Paco!!!

Adam, Andrew & Britney: Paco?

S: <laughing out loud> Yeah, I'm with you honey. Let's get Paco, now why didn't I think of that before? He's perfect and Ashley won't know what hit her after he shows up!

Adam: Yvette, Sven; please enlighten us. Who is Paco?

<I go over and put one arm around Adam's shoulders while Sven steers Andrew and Britney over to the bed and begins to tell them about one of our adventures on this vacation. As I'm whispering to Adam, his face changes. Gone is the disappointment in Ashley's not so nice acting job, to a face of someone who is to be the greatest conspirator since…well heck, you figure out a comparison, I'm getting brain-dead trying to figure an appropriate one out…>

Adam: <smiling impishly> Paco's perfect.

B: Yvette, why are we being so secretive about this?

Yvette: Because. I mean; Britney think about it. This is going to drive Ashley absolutely bananas when she realizes that she's going to have to wait for Part Eight to find out who Paco is.

Andrew: Who is going to introduce them?

Yvette: <grinning wickedly> You are, Andrew, that is if you have no objections, but you promised not to change sides, so Britney will stay here and accompany us to dinner and you will take Paco to Ashley and then you'll meet us back here. Is that OK?

B: Why can't I stay with Andrew? <Her eyes are a sea of hope and she is looking around the room nervously.>

Andrew: <seeing this and looks back at Britney and smiles that wonderful smile of his at her that tends to turn any Androoler from a solid to a liquid in two seconds flat. > It's OK, sweetie, I promise, I'll come back in time to go dancing with you.

Y: Yeah, but Andrew, you still have to teach me to tango.

S: <looks around apprehensively, but after a second relaxes. > Better you than me, I can't dance to save my life, give me an airplane with a full tank of gas over dancing any day.

Adam: <chuckles> Real romantic, Sven, OK, then I guess I'm going to get to amuse Britney until you come back, Andrew.

B: OK, but no dying jokes while I'm eating dinner, Adam. <Her voice is filled with reluctance.>

Y: I'm sure Adam will be a perfect angel while Andrew's gone, Britney.

B: <still reluctant.> OK, but, promise me that you'll hurry back, Andrew.

Andrew: OK, so Yvette, where do I go to pick up Paco?

<I lean closer to him and begin to whisper in his ear. Once Andrew nods, he takes the keys to our little rental car, leaves the room, goes down stairs, gets in the car, and drives in the direction an animal park we had visited only a few days ago.>

Stay tuned to Part 8 to find out who, or should I say, what, Paco is…and what little surprise we have in store for my little sis…

Part 8

As we came down the stairs and entered the elegant hotel restaurant, I was somewhat nervous. Even after a shower, I was not certain that the smell of skunk flavored perfume had dissipated completely, and I was certain that Ashley was laughing her butt off at what kind of trouble she had managed to stir up for us. It wasn't until Andrew returned during desert that we got the lowdown on what had happened with Paco being taken to Ashley's.

Andrew: Yvette, I really didn't have the heart to knock on the door and deliver Paco to Ashley personally, so I did the next best thing.

Yvette: What?

Britney: Yeah, what?

Andrew: I left him roaming around in their garden. When I left, he was eating the marigolds that grew alongside her house. I didn't know camels ate such things, but he seemed perfectly content to eat anything blossoming outside of her house.

B: Her mom's gonna go insane, you know.

Adam: I wonder what she's going to think about having a camel coming in for dinner. Sounds like a rather mad plot to a 1950's comedy.

Sven: Well, the rumor I heard was that Gloria was baking cookies, so maybe she'll have someone to share them with.

<We all laugh>

Y: True, but do you think that Paco may have been too much, I mean they probably have laws about the keeping of camels where she lives.

B: Just look at the picture, I mean, it's a face only a mother could love.

Adam: Good one, Britney, and you were being mean to me about my jokes.

S: At least Paco can't easily be sent back.

Andrew: Yeah, and Adam you did tell me about that one Thanksgiving with the turkey and Tess. I wonder what Tess would think about the camel that is hanging out at Ashley's. It seems rather severe, but only if it wasn't so funny.

Adam: That was the llama, buddy, I don't know how she'll react to a camel, especially with a face that looks as though they are puckered up for a big, slobbery kiss.

B: Like yours, Adam?

Adam: <pouting> That's a bit severe, Britney.

Y: What would you know about Adam's capabilities of giving a kiss, Britney?

B: Just a guess.

Adam: A mean guess, my kisses aren't as slobbery as a camel's.

Y: <grinning from ear to ear> OK, Angel Boy, prove it, right here on my cheek.

S: <Starts to object.> I don't like the idea of angels kissing my wife.

Adam. <relief showing> Good point, Sven.

Y: But remember when we met our friends who live here? It was over the weekend, he kissed my cheek and you didn't offer any objections to that. Besides, think of it this way, it is for the sake of science Sven.

S: OK, but only one.

Andrew: <laughing, but looks at Adam> Go ahead, then afterwards, Britney and I are going to the bar to dance.

B: That's the dessert I have been waiting for. <grins coyly at Andrew as the angel begins to squirm ever so slightly.>

Adam: Are you sure it's OK? <Looking at Sven for affirmation that it is OK for him to give me a kiss on the cheek.>

S: Yeah, sure go ahead, it's for science.

<Adam leans over and gives me a kiss on the cheek and I smile brightly, having a kiss from Adam certainly beats getting a puckered-up lip from a camel.>

Andrew: So, Yvette, what's your summation?

Y: I need more than just one to make an accurate summation. <I grin at Adam and the angel begins to turn the color of an overripe tomato.>

Adam: Yvette, you're a pill.

Y: Of course, that's why you like me so much, admit it Adam, my being a pill just brings you back for more of my shenanigans.

Adam: Touché.

S: So Yvette, how was it?

Y: A kiss from an angel, well, all I can say is that it felt nice, like having a butterfly land on my cheek. Nothing camel-like about Adam's kisses. It was perfect.

S: Great, now I'm in competition with an angel.

Andrew: Britney, let's go dancing I think Yvette, Sven, and Adam need some time alone to get her out of this scientific mess.

B: Yeah, and who said that Ashley needed someone to get Yvette into trouble? It looks to me as though she is just as capable of getting into trouble as Ashley is.

<As Andrew and Britney disappear inside the bar, I look at Sven.>

Y: I didn't let Adam kiss my cheek to make you jealous, you know.

S: I know.

Adam: And I am not in competition with you for Yvette's affections, I think you two are a lovely couple, and I am simply happy to be your friend. <He offers Sven his hand and smiles weakly.>

S: <accepting the angel's hand.> Agreed, you're a good guy, Adam, and at least I can trust you to help Yvette when she gets into trouble. <he leans over and whispers> As though she needs you to help her get her into trouble, she's rather the expert at it. I mean; after all, she did think about sending out for Paco.

Adam: I still wonder what Ashley is going to think when she finds Paco in her front yard.

Y: I guess we're going to have to wait and see. For now, let's go join them in the bar, I still want my tango lessons from Andrew. Hey Adam, can you tango?

S: <warning tone of voice> Yvette!

<With that, the three of us break into laughter and we go into the bar. Once inside, we order some ginger ale and orange juice as Andrew and Britney come back over and join us at the table and with our glasses in hand, we toast a possible cease-fire between Ashley's supporters and us…or maybe not and this is just wishful thinking.>

Part 9

It had been a few days since we had sent Paco to Ashley's and I was starting to feel really badly about having done that. Sven and I had returned from our vacation and he had gone back to work.

As I sat alone in our apartment, I was literally staring at the walls, not really sure what I should do, what could I do to clear my conscience and make things right again. I shook my head as the tears tumbled down over my cheeks. I can't go on like this, I want to call a truce, not because I'll be viewed as a wimp, but because it seemed the right thing to do.

Adam: Yvette, are you OK?

Yvette: <sarcastically> Fantastic, why?

Adam: For someone who is doing so well, you certainly are not sounding like yourself. Come on, you can tell me what's going on. I promise that I won't laugh, and that I will help in any way I can.

<at that moment, Andrew appears from out of nowhere, but right now, at this moment, he is not smiling. He actually has that look on his face. That 'I'm disappointed in you' look that makes me feel much worse, and more guilty than I could even begin to describe.>

Y: Great, are you here to scold me like I probably deserve?

Andrew: No, that's not why I'm here, Yvette. The reason I am here is because your idea with Paco really backfired, you got Ashley in a lot of trouble, and now she's in a great deal of hot water with her mom. Those flowers that Paco ate were her award winning gardenias, and Ashley will probably not hear the end of it.

Y: <flushing crimson.> OK, I get the picture, then I have to ask you both to help me one last time. This time maybe we can make things right again. Will you help me?

Adam: What do you want us to do?

Y: Andrew, maybe you could go and get Paco out of Ashley's yard? I think you can probably return him home and he would probably like that anyway, be around more of his own kind.

Andrew: What happened to 'show no mercy'?

Y: <I looked at him, my eyes filling with tears and I shook my head, my hands trying to smear the moisture away> It was a mistake, OK, do you have to rub my nose in it?

Andrew: <wraps me in his arms all the while trying to wipe the tears away.> Shhh, it's OK, don't worry, we'll help you.

Y: Please, just go get Paco out of her yard before he does anymore damage and maybe Adam will help me with the rest.

Adam: Me? What am I supposed to do?

Y: I went and bought a bunch of new flowers this morning and put them on my balcony, I thought we could take them over to Ashley's and replant them. I don't want to do a battle of wits with her anymore. I also don't think that it's right of us to pull you and your friends apart. I mean, Monica and Gloria are with Ashley, you guys are here with me, and, well, I didn't think that it was very nice of us to try to make you take sides.

Adam: That's a relief, I mean; I love Ashley as much as I do you, but I didn't feel so good about having to pick you over her or her over you.

<I looked at Andrew, he was just about to leave to retrieve Paco and just before leaving, he looked at me, smiled, and nodded approvingly.>

Y: You're not going to just take off, are you?

Andrew: No, I'm not going to abandon you, and no matter how cute Juli acts towards me, I'll be your friend always.

Y: Thank you, Andrew, you're an angel.

Adam: D-uh.

<Once Andrew has disappeared, Adam comes to help me get the flowers ready to take to Ashley's house. Within seconds, we disappear and reappear in Ashley's front yard. Andrew has disappeared with Paco and with Adam's help, we began to replace the flowers that Paco had dined on. As we work, Monica comes out of the house and sees us both hard at work.>

Y: Adam, do you think we'll get all these planted by morning? I don't want Ashley to get into any more trouble than she's already in.

Monica: Yvette, what are you and Adam doing here?

Y: <look shamefully over at her, but somewhere I'm on the defensive about being caught in Ashley's front yard.> Nothing, and no I'm not planting stinkweed, so before you go back inside and tell Ashley what I'm doing, I want to make sure you know that I'm done with this little war of words. I can't do anymore, my conscience won't let me.

M: I'm not accusing you of anything, Yvette, but why are you doing all of this?

Y: Because I read that Ashley got into some serious trouble after we sent Paco. I didn't know he was going to eat her mom's gardenias. I really didn't know. So, Andrew took Paco back home, Adam and I came to replace the flowers and I'm throwing in the towel.

<As I spoke, I continued to dig up the earth and plant some violets up against the side of the house. All the while I'm thinking that it would be nice to finally have some peace with Ashley and that maybe if she and I aren't at each other's throats, them maybe we can collaborate on a story sometime.>

M: <as she takes her leave.> You are doing something really wonderful. I think I'll leave you to finish the job, then.

<Once she's gone, Adam and I manage to finish the task of replanting the flowers. As the last flower is in the ground, we can see the sun rising over the trees.>

Adam: We did it. Why don't we go and surprise her now?

Y: I don't think so, I'm going home now, I'm tired and need some sleep. Adam, would you take me home?

Adam: Of course.

<As we disappeared, I could see the now new flowers adorning Ashley's yard. All the while I am hoping that that will rectify things with Ashley, but after Paco and the angry words of her mom, I am still not completely sure…>