A 'Touched By An Angel' / 'Shrek' Crossover Story

And Sequel to 'The Ogre and the Angel'

By: Yvette Jessen

The movie had been playing for hours, and Monica was enjoying herself thoroughly. It wasn't very often that she got a day off and was able to contemplate things between cases. Tess had gone off to help with the angelic choir, something about introducing them to R&B gospels, and Andrew was up to his eyeballs with his own cases as well as meeting with Adam for a cold glass of ginger ale. There the two Angels of Death would unload their usual stresses with the other. No big deal, it always happened around this time of year, after all everyone knew that those common colds were killers.

Monica sighed with contentment as she leaned back against the pillow on the sofa, her eyes closing lazily. I just love days like this; the auburn headed angel thought as she reached for another granola bar and unwrapped it. As she took a bite, she savored the taste of oatmeal crisp, chocolate and carob. Helping people was nice, but the caseworker liked the idea of just having one day where she could do absolutely nothing as well as stay clear of any and every angel who seemed set on treating her like an incompetent wimp. That is or babied her as though she was totally incapable of looking out for herself. There was one particular angel who seemed to do this sort of thing constantly, and it was slowly starting to really get on her every last nerve.

She reached for her pillow, fluffed it, and rolled back over as she looked at the television screen, the DVD she had put into the small disc drive was paused yet again, but she was too deep in her own contemplations to even care. The disc she was watching had been given to her by one of her assignments, a girl named Sandra, a teenage spitfire, who, among other things was into karate, judo, and generally anything that one could get hurt if they tried it without a trained professional nearby.

Sandra had been having boyfriend troubles, or as one might say, lacking of boyfriend troubles, she was a very tomboyish young woman, and she had been pondering running away from her life and home because she felt intimidating to any boy who would have wanted to ask her out on a date. At any rate, Monica had come in and helped Sandra realize that she shouldn't have to change herself to have friends, that her friends should just accept her as is.

Through this assignment, Monica reached one very important conclusion and that was that she was completely sick and tired of people calling her things like 'baby-girl' and 'sweetie pie'. She just wanted to be seen as an assertive angel who didn't take any nonsense from anyone. After all, if she was capable of posing as a prison guard, or working in the army, so she was of the mindset that she was capable of anything, one of them taking care of herself.

As she sank into her daydreams, the object of her greatest angelic frustration of the moment walked through the door and came out into the living room. It was Andrew and it looked as though he had gotten a break and was looking rather tired. She tried to ignore him, but when he came over and plopped himself down on the sofa, he smiled at her.

"Hey Monica, what's going on?" He asked; his voice filled with curiosity as he regarded her.

She smiled as she turned around. "I've just been relaxing this afternoon," she offered freely. "I just finished watching 'Shrek' again, you know the DVD that Sandra gave me before we left Toledo?"

"Again?" Andrew said, his nose wrinkling up as though he had just smelled something completely distasteful. "When are you going to stop watching that silly movie, Angel Girl?"

"The day you stop calling me that and treating me like an incompetent," Monica said evenly as she fiddled with the cover. At that moment, her usually loving brown eyes meeting his with assertiveness that Andrew had never seen before. When she saw the shocked look cross his handsome face, she almost burst out laughing.

"Do I really call you that?" He asked looking at her, eventually finding the courage to break his silence.

"Sometimes," Monica said weakly. "And most of those times it drives me bananas."

Andrew shrugged his shoulders. "Let me guess, you're more a Princess Fiona type, these days, right?" His question emerged seriously, but his eyes were filled with mischief, and this softened his friend's frustrated expression, if only a little bit.

Monica's thoughts shifted and she smiled despite herself when she thought about how the princess had beat up Robin Hood and his merry men in the film. "I don't know, Andrew," she said as she contemplated his question. "Maybe you could say I'm somewhere in between."

Andrew nodded as though he understood, but after a few moments, his friend once again broke her silence and smiled at him.

"So, what are you doing back, I thought you had a hundred and one cases to get to? Weren't you going to meet Adam for ginger ale or something?"

"Adam's got a few cases to tend to, so I took a break and came back here," Andrew said smiling. "Sometimes being an Angel of Death can be the death of an angel."

Monica smiled. "You've definitely been hanging around Adam lately, you're starting to talk like him."

Andrew shrugged his shoulders. "What about you, Angel G…?" His voice trailed off, and he looked into a pair of utterly annoyed brown eyes.

"You know something, Andrew, lately your behavior towards me has gotten on my very last nerve?" She asked abruptly after a few moments had passed.

"Do angels have nerves?" Andrew asked slyly trying to get Monica to change the subject, but when her eyes didn't falter, he knew he was in hot water.

Monica looked at him, her eyes flashing. "Andrew…." she said his name as though it was a warning and the Angel of Death was left only shaking his head in utter exasperation. "I have spent this afternoon watching this film and there is one thing that is completely crystal clear to me. I have no more desire to get into this old argument with you, but I'm going to tell you three things. You are my best friend, but these things need to be said, and then I'm leaving for a few days to get away from everything. Number one, I am a perfectly competent angel, two, I am not a 'sweetie-pie softie overblown moron', and three, I love you dearly, you know that, but you're the worst angel in the celestial realm who has taken it upon himself to protect me and I don't need you to protect me. OK? I'm a big girl and even though I was created after you were doesn't mean that I was created yesterday."

Andrew looked at her, shock emanating his expression. "I wish you had told me before now. You know I don't try and do stuff to you to upset you. You're my best friend." The Angel of Death carried a look on his face that showed her that he had accepted the truth in her words and he reached over and squeezed her shoulder. "Will you forgive me?"

Monica nodded and smiled weakly. "I forgive you, Andrew, I guess I'm just having another bad day. But, the thing is, you know and the Father knows that I'm capable of fulfilling my cases. An angel is an emotional being, I know that because the Father gave me those emotions, but that doesn't mean that I'm a wet blanket."

He nodded and looked at her. "OK, so what can I do to make this up to you, or at least show you that I'm really sorry for treating you like an incompetent. You know to upset or hurt you was the last thing I would ever want to do."

Monica smiled weakly as she regarded her friend. "I know, Andrew, and I think that hearing you say these words means a lot to me. Tell me this, do you remember a few months ago when you got discouraged with the fan fiction writers who were writing you in into one disaster after another?"

Andrew nodded; he had since then become friends with a number of them. "I remember, I had run off to Shrek's swamp and you, Tess, and Yva came and picked me up there. But, what does that have to do with anything? You know Shrek is probably the last creature in the world who would want to have angels hanging around."

Monica looked at her friend as if to say, 'what's your point?'.

Andrew took a deep breath and released it slowly. "Well, the point I'm trying to make is that if you have the intention of going back to Shrek's swamp, then I can't stop you, but tell me this, are you going so you can learn judo or something from Fiona?"

Monica's eyes lit up, and she smiled at her friend. "I remember what happened to you when you went there after you had gotten overwhelmed with the fan fiction stuff. I was thinking about going there myself for a day or two just to unwind. I thought maybe I could talk to Fiona about this, ask her just hypothetically how she handles it when people or angels treat her like a brain-dead incompetent."

"Hey, wait a minute, I never tried to treat you that way," Andrew objected.

"But you did, but I've since then forgiven you for acting like a class-a dolt, Andrew, but if I'm going to go visit Shrek, then I'd better get packed. I figure that Tess won't mind if I borrow the car…"

Before he could even object, Monica had left the room, humming off key as she went. Andrew covered his face with his hands and shook his head. Have I really been treating her like an incompetent, he pondered, but instead of speaking, he went over to the DVD player and removed the small disc.

A few moments later, Monica had returned to the living room to see that Andrew was still standing there staring down at the disc, and shaking his head. "You know, Sandra was right about one thing," she began as she put her suitcase on the floor near the front door.

"What?"

"That was the best movie ever made," Monica smiled. "You know, Shrek's voice sounds a wee bit like home, too."

Andrew's eyes rolled, but instead of arguing the point with her, he went to his room to pack. He had decided at that moment that he was going to go with her and he wasn't about to take 'no' for an answer…at least that's what he thought.

*****

Some five minutes later, Andrew emerged from his room to discover that Monica was gone, and in her place, she had scribbled a short note, and laid it on the coffee table.

Approaching it, Andrew took a deep breath and fearing the worst, he hastily retrieved it, looked down at the writing, and began to read.

Dear Andrew,

I know that you had intended on coming with me, but that is out of the question. This is my adventure, besides, I was just informed that you have a tentative 4:15 and sometimes an angel just has to do what an angel has to do.

I'll give Shrek and Fiona your regards.

Love,

Monica.

Sighing deeply, Andrew went over to the sofa and sat down, his head coming to rest in his hands and his shoulders slumping. Yet, contrary to the lousy feelings he now seemed overwhelmed with, he knew that somewhere in the deep recesses of his mind, Monica had been absolutely right. He had been treating her like an infant since that night on the train, and it was as important for her to set limits as it was for him to accept those limits. At that moment, he was completely confident that she would find what it was she was searching for, but he could not help but ponder whether or not Shrek's swamp was the place to find it. He remembered his own visit there, and not only was the entrees that Shrek had on the nightly menu distasteful, the ogre would probably be as cordial to Monica as Elmer Fudd would be to Bugs Bunny.

At any rate, he could only pray that this adventure would not turn into a misadventure for his friend and fellow angel. He sank into his contemplations and after about twenty minutes had passed, he looked up to see that Tess had opened the door and slammed it closed with a force to be reckoned with.

He looked up when he heard her, and within a matter of seconds, his eyes met a pair of angry brown ones. "What happened to my baby?" Tess whined.

Andrew gulped, to say that Tess was upset would be a bold understatement, and in his mind all he could hear was the persistent resonance of the line from the classic Monty Python film, "The Quest for the Holy Grail" hurling in rapid succession through his already agitated mind. 'Run away…Run away…' seemed to emanate his conscious until Tess' voice brought him literally crashing back down to earth.

"Mr. Halo, I want an answer from you and I want one right now, where is my car?" Tess demanded her nostrils flaring and he looked over at the television screen. He had put 'Shrek' back into the DVD player and had fast-forwarded up to the scene where Princess Fiona was beating up Robin Hood's Merry Men. Sighing deeply, he swallowed the golf-ball sized lump that had suddenly formed in his throat.

Tess looked over at the screen but after a few moments back at Andrew. "What is going on?"

Andrew shrugged his shoulders and smiled when the doorbell rang and this distracted him from Tess' imitation of the grim reaper that she portrayed so well whenever the safety and security of a certain Cadillac convertible came into question.

He crawled up off the sofa and went to open the door. "Yva?" He spoke the person's name causing her to look up. "What are you doing here?"

The writer shrugged her shoulders and looked up at him. "I have a problem," she said softly. "I need your help."

"What is it?"

"I think someone's mad at me," she said softly.

"Join the club, Monica's not too thrilled with me at the moment," he said, but when he looked back over and could see Tess' eyes, he looked back at the young writer. "Neither is Tess."

Yva shrugged her shoulders. "How do you deal with it when you think someone's mad at you and you don't even know what to say anymore?"

"Well, you don't run off to an ogre's swamp," he mused.

"Excuse me, would you care to run that by me again?" Yva asked, and this time, instead of focusing on her own problems, she looked up at him. "Andrew, what's wrong?"

"Monica is mad at me because she thinks I've been babying her," he said.

"You do, sometimes," Yva said, but she reached over and patted his shoulder comfortingly. "Sometimes, you have to let people cope with things in their own way, you can't talk down to people, you just have to let them live and learn."

Andrew looked at her. "Well, Monica has gone to Shrek's swamp, and I guess it would be foolish to go after her and apologize."

Yva nodded thinking about another possible encounter with the ogre. "I suppose it would be rather stupid for you to go back there," she mused. "Monica's right, sometimes an angel does have to do what an angel has to do."

She glanced over and looked at Tess who had started reading the note and when the supervisor looked at them, Yva had the strange feeling that Tess was not about to let Monica off the hook. It was bad enough that the caseworker had cut town, but that she had cut town in her car, her baby, went beyond any possible explanation.

*****

Some twenty miles down the road and in the middle of the enchanted forest, Monica pulled the car to the side of the road and stopped. She pulled her auburn hair out from in front of her face, and sighed deeply. It was a beautiful day, but a trifle warm for the young caseworker. I wonder if there's a service station around here and I could get an iced coffee.

"What are you doing in my swamp?" The sound of a Scottish baroque suddenly interrupted whatever thoughts she seemed to be having about cold mocha ice cream covered with iced coffee and mocha beans. Sighing deeply, she looked up and her eyes locked with Shrek's. There he stood, the tall and intimidating ogre. He was now casually leaned up against the car, his elbows resting on top of the door where the windows were rolled down and he looked into Monica's somewhat surprised face, bad breath and all.

"Oh hello, Shrek, do you remember me?" Monica asked.

"Aye," the ogre muttered.

"Well, you see, I seem to be having a wee bit of car trouble," she offered with a smile as she reached for her purse and pulled out a small plastic container. As she dumped two of the small white candies in her hand she looked up at him. "Would you like a Tic-Tac?" She offered sweetly.

He looked at her, "What are you doing here? I thought you would be out angeling somewhere else."

"Perhaps, I would be, but I wanted to come back here and see if I might talk to Fiona," Monica offered.

Shrek's eyes widened as he regarded the angel. "Why?" He asked, still somewhat protective of his wife.

"Well, it's like this, I'm so sick of being treated like an incompetent that I thought I'd come out here and talk to Fiona about what she does," Monica said.

"I am not sure that Fiona's style would match that of an angel, Monica," Shrek replied, but go ahead and get out, you can leave your car here, I'm sure no one will bother with it. Most people with half a brain wouldn't come from within a mile of my swamp, that is if they know what's good for them."

Monica got out of the car and followed the ogre in the direction of his home. Nothing had changed there too much since her last visit when she, Tess, and Yva had come there to pick up Andrew. As she took in the place, Fiona came out of the house and looked at Monica through a pair of concerned blue eyes.

"Who's this, Shrek?" Fiona asked.

"Well, honey, it's like this," Shrek began. "You remember some time ago when this fellow named Andrew paid me a visit here?"

"No really, but you may have told me about it," Fiona gathered up her skirts and sat down on the ground.

"Andrew was a friend of hers, and he had come here for some rather strange reasons, something about problems with a bunch of writers poking him with a quill or something," Shrek said sarcastically, his eyes literally dancing merrily as he spoke.

"I'm an angel, Fiona," Monica offered, her voice soft. "I came out here because I saw your film where you put Robin Hood's merry men out of commission and I got to thinking how you would handle it if people treated you like an incompetent."

"Shrek would breathe on them," Fiona said, her eyes twinkling merrily as her husband looked at her with unsuppressed shock. "Just kidding, of course. Tell me what has been going on."

Monica looked at the ogress and sighed deeply. "I guess it's been going on for centuries, Fiona, I have been an angel of God for a long time, and now the others I work with, treat me like I'm a moron, or at the very least, like I can't do my job."

Shrek got up at this moment and went into the house leaving them alone. Once he was gone, Fiona looked at her.

"Well, Monica, as I said, when you are alone for a long time, you have to learn these things. Maybe you need to work alone and learn about things like independence and self-sufficiency."

Monica shook her head. "I couldn't leave my friends, and Tess, she's my supervisor, but Andrew is starting to really get on my nerves. Tess was the only angel who called me 'Angel Girl', but now Andrew is doing it and it is really aggravating."

"I think I would be annoyed if Shrek started calling me 'Ogre Girl', I would probably lay waste to him if he did, but the point is, Monica, a friendship is made up of respect and if your friend cannot respect you, then how good of a friend is he?"

Monica sighed deeply, a lot of what Fiona was saying made a lot of sense.

"Beating up a band of thieves is nothing, they wouldn't leave me alone, but if it is a friend, Monica, sometimes that's what hurts the most, so just talk to your friend," Fiona said. "Don't run away from your problems, you have to face them. If Shrek and I had run away from it, we wouldn't have ended up together."

Monica nodded. "I think you're right. I guess I should go back and talk to both of them, but I do know one thing for certain, things have got to change."

At that moment, Shrek returned. "I caught an extra wild rat, Monica if you want to stay for dinner before you go home."

"Oh, well, I would love to, but I really think that this is of the utmost importance that I get home and clear things up with Andrew. He sends his regards by the way," she said, her words in a rush as she got to her feet and hastily walked away from the two ogres.

Once she was gone, Fiona looked at Shrek. "What's her story?"

"I haven't any idea," Shrek said, "but maybe Donkey is right about one thing, maybe those rats would be a bad idea."

"Then I guess it means more for us," Fiona said shrugging her shoulders and once he helped her to her feet, the two of them went back into the house for dinner.

*****

It was dark when Monica pulled up to the house. She immediately crawled out of the car and walked towards the door that led inside the house. As she opened the door, she was surprised to see that Yva was crashed out on the sofa, a large fluffy pillow under her head and a teddy bear in her arms.

Monica approached the sofa and touched Yva's shoulder, thus causing the woman to slowly open her eyes and look up. "Monica, what are you doing back? I thought you had gone off to find yourself? Why are you back here?"

"It's strange, Yva, but running away was really foolish, I should have stayed here and really talked to Andrew, and not got mad at him. He is, after all, one of my very best friends."

"You're lucky he's willing," Yva said softly as she rubbed her eyes. "Lately, I've been trying to make contact with some of my friends, only to discover that they completely ignore me, thus leaving me to conclude that they are angry. I mean; you have a really good friend in Andrew and the best thing to do when he starts behaving in ways that you don't like is to tell him, then he can do whatever necessary to make things right."

Monica smiled weakly. "That's what Fiona said. I guess that was why I came back."

"I figured you would know this, I mean, you're an angel and angels usually don't flip a gasket, run off and eat wild rats for dinner."

"I left before dinner," Monica said smiling weakly.

"I don't blame you," Yva said. "But, I can promise you one thing, Monica."

"What's that?" The angel asked.

"Well, I can promise you that whenever I write a story about you, you are always a very confident and loving character," she smiled weakly. "I don't make you into a wet blanket because I know you're anything but."

Monica smiled as Andrew came into the room, the Angel of Death's face a depiction of sadness, and Yva crawled off the sofa. "I'll leave you two alone to talk," she said, but before leaving the room she grabbed the pillow and blanket and dragged them along with her. "Oh, by the way, Andrew, Monica didn't eat the rats, so you know that your friend is rather smart."

Once she was gone, Monica looked at Andrew.

"So, how was it? Are you going to judo chop me in the gut for treating you like a wimp?" Andrew asked, but he was surprised when Monica leaned over and kissed his cheek.

"No, Andrew, but I think that now you know the truth about how I feel about this, that maybe we can work to make things right again."

Andrew smiled weakly. "I'm glad, I prefer that over the painful alternative…" As his voice trailed, Monica began to laugh softly as she nodded.

"I think you're right," she smiled. "So what do you want to do now?"

"Anything but watch Shrek again," Andrew said grinning impishly.

"I think I'm over that film for a while," Monica said, her eyes twinkling. "How about it if we watch 'The Nightmare Before Christmas'?"

The end…

Back