A ‘Touched By an Angel’ story

By: Yvette Jessen

Part 1

The snow was falling through the trees and from her window; Kelsey Baker could see the people rushing by. Here and there they ran; packages under their arms and looks of determination covering their faces. They looked as though they were an army of ants charging through the streets of New York City, as though following a Santa Claus towards the shopping malls to join in the holiday frenzy.

Disgusted, she drew the curtains back over the window and turned around sighing deeply. How she hated this time of year. It was not so much that she hated Christmas, but when she thought about the big fight she had with her parents during the holidays last year, it made her feel rather gloomy whenever she would think about it. Now she realized that she would have to spend the holidays alone. Christmas was only a week away, and already she dreaded the loneliness she would endure when it arrived.

“Oh come all ye faithful, joyful and triumphant…” she began to sing one of her favorite carols, but for some reason, in the middle of the second line, she stopped abruptly and turned back towards the window. She felt an overwhelming sense of isolation engulf her, but she shook her head rapidly and tried to block it out of her mind. What did it matter anyway? She had already made plans for Christmas, so she knew that she would not be completely alone.

The local soup kitchen was supposed to have their annual Christmas dinner not far from her church and she had volunteered to serve food on Christmas Eve and then she would sing some carols to the homeless people on Christmas morning. From what she had heard, the place was supposed to be full up as it always had been during this time of year. She figured that no one wanted to be out in the snow when they could have a warm, comfortable, bed to sleep in at Christmastime.

At any rate, Kelsey had arranged her schedule specifically for this because she needed performance hours in order to have all the necessary stuff done so she could graduate at the end of May. Aside from that, she had gone through her clothing and pulled out things to donate, and once she had carried everything to the church, she had asked about the performance and was told that it would be nice if she could do some songs and that the people would appreciate it.

She looked back through her apartment and sighed deeply. She used to have a tree in her home every year, but now she was simply without any sort of hope so she couldn’t see the point of doing any decorating at all. How can this be, she often asked herself, it’s Christmas for crying out loud, I should be happy, not alone. I’m only 28 crummy years old, she thought sadly, but when she looked back outside, she had no choice, but to conclude that she was standing in her apartment, and she was alone.

She wiped her hands over her face as though she was wiping the tears out of her eyes, but there simply was no reason to do so, as she had not been crying. Perhaps it was simply that she was just tired. Classes hadn’t been easy, she was doing everything she could to get her music degree from the local college, and though she loved sitting at the piano, playing and singing; her heart was simply not in it today.

As she approached the window, she could see a man walking down the sidewalk. He appeared to be about 35, and although he wasn’t moving as quickly as the other people were, she continued to watch as he turned a corner and disappeared in the distance. For some reason, the direction he had been walking in reminded her suddenly of where she was supposed to go; she was due at work in ten minutes.

“I guess I’d better get going,” she mumbled to herself, “I don’t want to be late, my boss would definitely have a cow...”

*****

Ten minutes later, Kelsey walked into the café where she worked part-time, her head hanging as she opened the door. The bells jingled indicating to anyone working inside that someone had just come in.

She walked quickly to the back of the restaurant and into a small storage room. She grabbed an apron and put it over her head. She must have been really involved in what she was thinking about, because out of the blue, a friendly male voice spoke to her almost causing her to jump out of her skin.

“Hi, you’re Kelsey, right?”

She turned abruptly and when she found herself looking into a pair of friendly hazel eyes, she nodded. “Yes, and if you want to continue living, you’d better not sneak up behind me again like that. You just about scared me to death!” She looked at him angrily, but when she saw a look of horror cross his handsome face, her anger died away and she looked at him sympathetically. Resting her hand over her heart, she continued. “I’m sorry, I guess I’m just not so good with people anymore.”

“It wasn’t my intent to scare you,” he offered.

“I know, I’m just a little bit jumpy today,” she smiled shyly. He really was handsome, had shoulder length blonde hair, hazel eyes, and a friendly smile. He couldn’t be much older than she was, but at this point in her life, she was simply not in the mood to flirt with guys.

“My name is Andrew,” he offered.

“Nice to meet you,” she said simply. “I guess you’re the new dishwasher, huh?” Once he nodded, she continued. “It’s about time they hired someone to help me out back here. For the last few weeks, I’ve had to do it all by myself.”

“How long have you been working here?” he asked.

“About three years. I started sometime after I began attending classes at the local community college,” she began.

“Really? What do you study?”

“Music, I’m trying to make something of myself as a singer and composer,” she replied. “Somehow I have a feeling I’ll die with dishpan hands though.” She smiled weakly.

“Why do you say that?” he asked.

“How many music students do you know of who have made it as professional singers?” she asked.

“I don’t know of very many, I’m afraid,” he offered.

“Yeah, because there aren’t any,” she said trying to smile, but when he did not even return the gesture, she frowned. “Sorry, I guess you think I sound like a Scrooge or something, too, huh?”

“I never said that,” he offered simply.

“I know, but a lot of people do, and you yourself was just standing there giving me the look,” she said softly. “Believe me, I’ve seen and heard it all before,” her voice changed as she began to quote the phony falsetto of one of her co-workers. “Look, there goes Kelsey Baker, the Grinch who wanted to steal Christmas.” She sighed deeply before continuing. “Believe me, Andrew, there’s a reason why I’ve been told I had to work back here. People don’t want to see a gloomy waitress. They think because I’m unhappy right now, that I don’t like Christmas. The truth is, I just can’t get into the season this year.”

“Why is that?” he asked.

“No real reason,” she hedged.

“There must be a reason,” he said. “Do you like the Christmas music?”

“I love it, well, that is, I used to love it. When I was a kid, we would sing carols for our relatives. Today, I sing them, but somehow my heart’s just not into it,” she said thinking about how she had started to sing ‘O Come All Ye Faithful’ at home and then abruptly stopped.

“I love the music,” he offered.

“Most people I know do,” she said and walked over to the sink opting to change the subject. “I guess I should show you how everything works around here. I don’t think you’re here to listen to my life story anyway.”

“OK,” he said rather ironically, but joined her at the sink.

*****

When her shift ended some three hours later, she removed the apron and began to fold it with the intent of putting it away. “Kelsey?”

She turned and could see Andrew standing some two meters behind her.

“Yeah?”

“I was just wondering if you knew of a place that was renting apartments nearby. I’m new in the neighborhood, and need a place to stay,” he said.

“If I had adequate space, I’d let you stay with me for a few days until you get settled somewhere else, but my apartment is rather small,” she began, all the while wondering why it was that she was offering her home to a virtual stranger. She could not help it, but there was something about Andrew that made her feel completely at ease, something that made her sense that she was not alone as long as he was nearby. Perhaps having him around would be better than endless days alone.

“No, that’s OK, I wouldn’t wish to impose on you,” he said. “I think I’ll be fine, don’t worry about me.”

“Listen, just give me a minute and I’ll call my landlord, I mean that’s the least I could do. Maybe he has an opening at the complex where I live. I think he said something about it some time ago, so maybe we’ll be lucky. Otherwise, you’d be in a jam, because in this town, apartments are rather hard to come by; especially since most people here are students and during regular terms, after the dorms fill up, the apartments do as well,” she said.

Before Andrew could say another word, Kelsey walked out into the dining area to use the phone. He was left alone.

“Angel Boy.” He turned and was face to face with Tess.

“Interesting case, but why am I here?” He asked.

“You gotta get that girl to talk,” Tess said assuredly.

“I kind of guessed; she’s got no Christmas spirit,” Andrew said softly.

“There’s a reason behind it, you gotta go and look for it,” Tess said and disappeared.

A reason, a reason, Andrew was thinking, but what kind of reason would one have to not like Christmas? As he thought about it, Kelsey returned, she had a look of despair in her eyes. “There are no apartments available,” she began. “I guess if you want to, you can stay with me.”

“If it’s no trouble.”

“It’s not, but any false moves, and you’ll be out on your ear, Buster,” she said trying to keep her voice even. That eerie feeling of familiarity cursed through her and though she did not say anything else about it, she could not help but feel good about the idea of not being alone. This brought a small smile to her face.

Andrew looked at her strangely, but rather than argue the point, he went to his locker and opened it. Inside was a duffle bag with clothing, as well as an apron. Picking up his bag, he shut the locker and walked back over to join her.

“Do you mind walking? I don’t live very far from here and the fresh air would do us both a world of good,” she said and walked out of the storage room. He followed.

*****

Twenty minutes later, they arrived at her apartment. “I only have one key, and will probably not be able to get another until after the end of the weekend. I’m sure when the landlord comes back on Monday, he’ll be able to give us a spare key.”

“I really appreciate you helping me like this, Kelsey;” Andrew offered as she opened the front door.

“It’s nothing, really, besides you might take that back when you see this place,” she said simply as she pulled the key out of the lock. “I don’t really have time to keep house.”

They walked inside. Kelsey removed her coat and tossed it aimlessly on the sofa. Andrew did the same and began to take in his new surroundings. “I think it’s quite nice,” he commented.

“Thanks. Here let me show you around,” she said and led him through the apartment. “Here’s the kitchen, it’s a mess. No dishwasher and I haven’t the time to wash dishes here,” she smiled impishly. “Furthermore, I don’t get paid for it, so why bother?” Further down the hall, she showed him the bathroom and then led him to the last room, her bedroom. “You can have this room,” she said. “The sheets are clean and there are clean towels in the cupboard.”

“Where do you sleep?”

“On the couch,” she said, her voice void of emotion.

“Are you sure about this?” he asked. “I could go check in at a hotel or something.”

“Listen, I’m positive. I usually work late into the night on my composing, my piano is in the living room, and so I always sleep there. This room is never used, so it stands to reason that you should be able to use it rather than shell out the money to pay for a hotel. Besides, if you were to sleep in the living room, you’d probably not get any sleep the entire night because I usually play as I’m composing. The other thing, it’d cramp my style too much to have you in there during those times. Some of the music I write is pretty intense,” she said. “I also have finals coming up next week, and will probably have to pull a few all-nighters. That’s why they hired you at the café, because, they knew that I would need next week to work here.”

Andrew nodded. “OK, but if I cramp your style being here, you tell me and I will find other accommodations.”

“I will,” she said. “Now, if you don’t mind, I’ll leave you to getting settled. If you want, maybe you can join me in the kitchen in a few minutes. I’m going to make some tea.”

“Thank you, Kelsey,” was all he said as she walked back down the hall and into the kitchen.

*****

Once in the kitchen, Kelsey sighed deeply. She reached inside the cabinet and pulled a small bottle out. Running her hand through her short blonde hair, she sighed deeply as she tried to open the bottle. “I really hate these stupid child proofed bottles,” she mumbled to herself as she fumbled with the bottle. Once she managed to open it, she poured two of the capsules into her hand. She placed the bottle back on the counter and swallowed the medicine with a glass of water.

I hate my life, she thought sadly to herself once she had put the medicine back inside the cabinet. She closed the door and turned around. What a life, she thought bitterly, my parents hate me, I have no family left, my dreams are falling to pieces before my eyes, and I only have six crummy months; and people want to know why I am like Scrooge.

Seconds later, Andrew tapped on the kitchen door. “Is everything OK?”

She turned around, and when she saw him, she could see the concern in his words. “Oh yeah, sure, I’m just having a crisis is all,” she said sadly.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not really,” she said. “Unless you’re an expert in life and death matters.”

“Kelsey, maybe you should sit down,” he said gently.

“Are you?”

“Perhaps, but it’s not that, I simply think you look pale and I fear that you will collapse if you don’t get off your feet. Come on and sit down,” he said softly. He reached out and took her hand and led her over to the table.

Obediently, she allowed him to help her get seated. By then, she was grateful, because her head had started to spin and she rested it in her hands and closed her eyes for a few moments. After awhile, she looked up and her eyes met his sympathetic gaze. “Andrew, I guess I do need to talk to someone, but I don’t know if I should burden you with my problems. I mean I barely know you.”

“I understand that, Kelsey. I know we are like strangers, but I really do want to help you,” he said gently. “Why don’t you tell me what is wrong? Advice is probably nothing you’d want, but to have someone listen to you might help. One doesn’t have to be an expert in such matters to know that something is not right with you. I can see it in your eyes. Come on, Kelsey, what is it that is making you so unhappy?”

“I’m dying,” she said simply looking down at her hands. Sighing deeply, she looked back up at him. “I’m lonely and dying, Andrew. I’m only 28, but I’ve got Cancer, and the doctor said I’ve only got six months left. Shoot, I guess not even that, I stopped the Chemo a month ago and my hair finally grew back.”

Andrew nodded numbly; he had a feeling that he knew what was wrong, but this confirmed to him why he was there; he’d soon be taking Kelsey Home. Sighing deeply, he looked at her. She had her head down over her hands and he could tell that she was crying. Before he could say anything to her, she finally looked up, her hand smearing the tears out of her eyes.

“You know what really stinks?” she asked.

“What?”

“My time will come probably before I graduate,” she looked at him earnestly. “Andrew, I want to graduate, I want to walk across that stage in May and show the whole stinking world that I could do it. I have already accepted the fact that I will probably never have a chance to sing on a stage in front of thousands of people, so I have to at least graduate, then I can hear the applause. I want to hear the applause ringing in my ears, to hear the music playing at the end of the ceremony. I want only to know what it feels like to be a success.”

“But you already are a success,” he objected.

“How do you know that? She asked weakly. “You barely even know me, you just met me today.”

“Because I have this feeling,” he offered smiling.

“And what do you see, a girl without a future? All I have done in my life is study or wash dishes. I’ve never done anything that I wanted to. All I have are regrets, and now…” her voice trailed.

“Now?”

“I finally decided this year to do what it is I wanted, and now my parents hate me, and I’m alone. That’s why I don’t want to celebrate Christmas,“ She could feel the tears in her eyes, but tried unsuccessfully to wipe them away.

“Maybe you should allow yourself to cry, Kelsey,” he said gently.

She shook her head adamantly reaching for a tissue and blowing her nose. “Last year at this time, my parents and I had a fight about my studies, and I left before it could get resolved. My parents think I’m throwing my life away by wanting to be a singer, but they simply cannot understand that the music is like the breath of my soul; it’s such an important part of who I am. Can you even begin to imagine how you would feel if your father told you that musicians were all like those people who play for spare change at the mall?”

“He hurt you, didn’t he?” Andrew asked.

Kelsey nodded, “It was like he took a nail and hammered it into my heart. It hurt me so much. It was like he was telling me that he loved me as long as I did things as he and my mother wished, and not as I wanted.” She could feel the tears beginning to stream down her cheeks as she spoke.

“Do you miss them?”

“I guess a little,” she said. “I know that if I were to see my parents again, it would have to be because they would come to me. I couldn’t go to them; I mean what would I tell them? That I’m sick and dying, and that there’s really no point to even trying to mold out any sort of future for myself,” Kelsey said softly and shook her head sadly. “I wish I could just snap my fingers and all of this would be resolved, but I know I can’t. I know I can’t deny myself the truth just because it’s sad, scary, and filled with uncertainty.”

Andrew could see that she was frightened, and he wanted to comfort her, but he was not sure this moment was the right time to reveal to her who he was. Instead of speaking, he reached across the table and offered her his hand. When she accepted it, he squeezed it gently. “I’ll do whatever I can for you,” he said, but before he could continue speaking, they could suddenly hear the teakettle beginning to whistle. Instead of her standing up to remove it from the heat, he motioned with his hand that she should remain seated and he stood up. “I’ll take care of it, Kelsey,” he said gently as he began to look around the kitchen for the tea. Once he found the small canisters, he turned around. “What kind of tea would you like?”

“I don’t really care,” she said softly. “I think Earl Gray, it’s better than the other kinds up there and you probably won’t like the others, most of my friends don’t like them either.”

“OK,” Andrew reached for the container and opened it. Once he poured some of the tealeaves into small porcelain teapot, he added the water and left it alone. “Where are the teacups?”

“In the cabinet over the sink,” she whispered waving her hand in the direction of it.

Andrew opened the cupboard and pulled two cups and saucers out. He placed them on the table and sat down across from her. He could see that telling her story had worn her out. “Kelsey, maybe you should try to get some rest, you still look a little pale.”

“I can’t, Andrew, I still have to finish that piece I started,” she said. “I’ve composed the entire thing except for the bridge, and I can’t seem to get the thing together.” She shook her head weakly. “It’s too bad there isn’t 48 hours to a day, huh? I’d at least get the stupid song finished.”

Andrew nodded numbly, but stood up and retrieved the teapot and began pouring the steaming liquid into the cups.

“Thank you for all your help,” Kelsey said softly once he had sat down again.

“That’s what friends are for,” he said and smiled gently.

“Yeah, but I haven’t been much of a friend to you. I was rude to you at the café and then I made stupid comments to you. I can’t understand why you would consider me a friend,” she said softly.

“I understand simply that you have a lot on your mind, Kelsey. I couldn’t judge you based on the past, I’ve been talking to you and I know it’s not been easy,” he said simply.

“True, but it’s still no excuse for the way I’ve been acting, Andrew. I mean the people call me a ‘Scrooge’, but I certainly don’t have to be a depiction of the part,” she smiled weakly. “Sometimes it’s hard. I don’t want to play some part or pretend something that isn’t true; I want people to understand that I have a lot of stuff going on. They just don’t want to hear about death and dying at Christmastime and they don’t want to be around someone who is miserable. I don’t blame them for this, but it still hurts, because no matter what I do, it’s going to remain my reality. I mean, even at church, they call it a rebirth of the spirit, but death seems rather final, doesn’t it?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Andrew said thoughtfully taking a spoon and stirring the tea in his cup slowly. “If you don’t mind me asking, what specifically have you heard about it? I mean, besides what they have said in church?”

“In some places, I’ve heard that’s it’s absolutely horrible, darkness and shadows. Ten minutes later, I read about it and it’s said to be beautiful and glorious. I have heard so many stories, I’m confusing myself. First I hear that there are angels of death, and that there’s a light at the end of the tunnel; in other places, it’s dark and scary like in a movie. I mean there are a lot of books on the subject, but I don’t really feel any sort of personal feelings of comfort in any of them. It’s all filled with so much uncertainty, so many questions. Then there’s the Internet. If you can even begin to sift your way through all of it, you are left with two different stories, all filled with a jumble of so-called information, but I don’t know what’s true and what isn’t. Even Hollywood, they make films about death and dying, and it feels like fear is the only thing sells.”

“I know what you mean,” he said honestly. “I too have seen the same kinds of things, and have a hard time understanding the perceptions people have with this topic.”

“Why, are you dying too?”

“No, but I’ve seen what people go through when they do, and I have a great deal of understanding when it comes to this subject,” he said gently.

“Then I suppose you have heard about a lot of the same things from other people, huh?” She said.

“I have,” he said simply and took a sip of his tea.

She smiled weakly as she watched him. He looked so serene and peaceful, but in his eyes she could sense a sort of wisdom whenever she looked at him. What was it about him that made her talk about all this stuff? Sighing she finished her tea and stood up. “I have to get busy, if you want to eat something, there’s a take out menu by the phone in your room. I don’t have much, I usually live on granola bars during finals. I don’t have any ambition to cook, I guess.”

“I can cook,” Andrew offered. “I don’t mind, and it’s the least I can do. What would you like?”

“There’s not much in the cabinet. I guess we’d have to go shopping, and right now, I just don’t have the time,” she said weakly.

“I’ll go alone, then,” he offered and when she looked at him, she could see that he was determined to do his part. She felt all the more grateful to him for that. “Are you going to be here, though? I’ll need to get back in.”

“Yeah, I’m not going anywhere, but are you sure about this, the weather looks a bit nasty now?” she asked.

“Positive, besides, I’m in the mood for some homemade lasagna, how about you?” he said simply. He stood up and walked towards the doorway that lead out of the kitchen.

“Andrew?”

He stopped and turned around, “yes?”

“I really appreciate you listening to me vent about everything. Sometimes it’s not always easy to hold things in,” she smiled gratefully.

“I’ll always listen, Kelsey, so will God,” he smiled warmly and left.

Kelsey nodded slowly, but rather than saying anything she collected the teacups and put them in the sink. When she heard him closing the front door, she turned on the water and began to wash the dishes that had piled up there during the last week.

*****

“That was the best lasagna I’ve ever had, thanks Andrew,” Kelsey said about two hours later. She and Andrew were seated in her kitchen and she had just put her fork down on the plate. She reached for a napkin and wiped the tomato sauce off her mouth. “Where did you learn to cook like that?”

“It’s a gift,” he said smiling mysteriously.

“A gift,” she repeated and stood up.

“Like with your music,” he said simply.

“Yeah, and that reminds me. I guess that song’s been sitting there too long and I should do something with it,” she mused.

“Do you mind if I listen?” he asked. “I can take care of the cleaning up later.”

“Sure, I kind of like having the company,” she said and they went into the living room.

She sat down at the piano, and lifted the wooden cover. “I’ve been sort of working on this song for fun, it’s not really a part of the composition I’m supposed to do, but it’s my warm up. I call it ‘Dancing with an Angel’.”

Andrew nodded slowly as she began to play the introduction.

Whenever I’m alone

I can hear those joyful songs

Those beautiful melodies

Existing in my mind

Someone is nearby

Someone I cannot see

That vision awakens in me

And I begin to see.

That I’m dancing,

Dancing with an angel

The music fills my heart

Offering me that joy

As I feel the wind

Begin to blow

In this heavenly bliss

And we’re dancing.

She raised her hands from off the keys, “that’s all I have, so far,” she said sadly. “The second verse is always harder to write than the first, but the melody will remain like this.” She continued to play the music that made up the piece. As she stopped, she turned back around.

As she looked at him, she could see a faraway look in his eyes, but rather than ask him about it, she turned back towards the piano and began to play once again. This time she tried to continue to compose the song she had been working on for her class. The song about angels, she cast aside, the sheets of paper drifting onto the floor.

Part 2

Three days before Christmas, Kelsey handed in her composition and was walking home slowly. The weather had progressively gotten worse, and she figured that from the way it appeared, that she would be snowed in on Christmas Eve. Sighing deeply, she made her way up the walk towards the complex where she lived. She had already gotten a second key from the landlord and this she had given to Andrew first thing Monday morning. It was now Wednesday, and she had grown rather accustomed to having him around. He was very kind and considerate towards her.

She could not stop thinking about the kind of person Andrew was. She dwelled constantly on this and it was because last night, she had worked all night on the piece she had just turned in. While she was sitting at the piano, she had fallen asleep there, her arms draped over the keys. The next thing she knew she woke up and found herself on the sofa, with a blanket covering her. It was obvious that Andrew had come out of his room and saw her asleep and she was left to conclude that he had helped her to the sofa, and had covered her with the blanket.

With the piece of music completed and her finals behind her, Kelsey decided that she would have to get Andrew a gift for Christmas. He had been a friend to her, but she wondered what kind of gift he would appreciate. As she passed a small recording studio which happened to be on her way home, the thought hit her; she would give him a song. With a new determination, she walked through the doors of the studio and as the woman at the desk looked up.

“Yes?”

“Hi, I was just wondering how much it would cost to record an original song here?” Kelsey asked.

“Well, Sweetie, we charge here by the hour. For one song, I would guess about $150, and if it takes longer than an hour it could go up to at least $200.”

Kelsey sighed deeply, this was just too expensive for her to afford. “OK, thanks,” she whispered, and with her spirits plummeting, she left the studio. Outside, she walked in the direction of her apartment. As she got closer to the familiar buildings, her sadness grew.

*****

Unseen by Kelsey, Tess and Andrew were watching as she made her way down the street. Andrew’s heart went out to the girl, she looked so miserable. “She’s really a special person,” he said softly after a few moments of silence passed. “She can’t find the Christmas spirit, but she tries to bring it out in others.”

“You’ve got that right,” Tess replied.

“She told me that her dream was to sing in front of a bunch of people, or at the very least to walk across a stage to hear the applause ringing in her ears,” he sighed deeply shaking his head. “Tess how am I going to tell her that she won’t make it to graduation? I’m wondering if she’s even going to make it until New Year’s.”

“She’s very sick, Andrew,” Tess said simply.

“Yes,” he looked back over at his friend. “Don’t you think someone should find her family?”

“Monica’s on that task as we speak,” came the answer. “I suggest you get going, though, Kelsey’s going to need you soon.”

Andrew nodded gratefully at Tess and they both disappeared.

*****

Kelsey arrived at her door and sighing deeply, she pulled the key from her pocket. The sky was looking darker by the minute and along the streets in front of her building, she could see anxious people, children smiling, and people laughing. Why can’t I be this happy, she asked herself, the events from the studio still fresh in her mind.

Inside, she threw her coat on the sofa and went to sit down at the piano. It had been a long time since she had just played, not for school, but rather for fun. Just to pick a song and allow her fingers to drift over the keys, her voice accompanying the music. It just felt right, she thought sadly. The music for her favorite song, ‘What a Wonderful World’ began as she closed her eyes and allowed the melody of the Louis Armstrong song touch the very depths of her being.

I see trees of green

Red roses too

I see them bloom

For me and you

And I think to myself

What a wonderful world.

Andrew came in at this moment. He could hear her as she continued singing, her strong voice filtering through the apartment. He stopped and listened as she sang the beautiful song in its entirety.

I see skies of blue and

Clouds of white

The bright blessed days

The dark sacred nights

And I think to myself

What a wonderful world.

The colors of the rainbow

So pretty in the sky

Are also on the faces

Of people going by

I see friends shaking hands

Saying how do you do,

They’re really saying

I love you.

I hear babies cry

I watch them grow,

They’ll learn much more,

Then I’ll ever know

But I think to myself

What a wonderful world

Yes I think to myself,

What a wonderful world.

She stopped playing, the music ended, and Andrew stood unable to move.

Kelsey moved her hands off the keys covered her face in her hands and began to weep bitterly. The music was gone, and the tears were falling freely from under her eyes. She pulled the wooden cover down over the keys and reached into her pocket for a tissue. Wiping her eyes, she turned around and when she saw him standing there, she immediately looked down, trying to conceal her embarrassment, but also not wishing for him to see her crying.

“That was beautiful,” he said softly.

“Thank you,” she sniffed and wiped the tissue over her eyes. “That song always has an impact on me. I guess ever since I heard it on television as a kid. You know, like if someone could actually find Heaven on Earth, maybe they would be able to feel it in the words of that song.”

“Perhaps,” he said smiling weakly. After a few minutes passed, he looked at her earnestly. “Kelsey, I don’t think you were crying because of the song you sang. Come over here and sit down. I think we should have a talk.”

“I said everything that I needed to the other day, Andrew. There’s really nothing more I can think of to talk about.”

“Well, I need to talk to you,” he said gently.

She nodded, feeling the need somehow to do as he said. She stood up, walked over to him, and sat down on the sofa. “What is it, Andrew? You’re not leaving, are you?” she asked.

“No, it’s not that, Kelsey, I’m not leaving,” he said gently. “I have to tell you the truth about something, only I don’t know where to begin. Do you remember the other day when we were sitting in the kitchen and talking about death and dying?”

“Yeah, how could I forget that? I haven’t been able to think about anything else since then,” she said softly her head constantly down. “Especially right now, because these last couple of days, I’ve been feeling worse and having splitting headaches. I was at the doctor yesterday and he doubled the dosages on my medications. The way things look, I’m not going to make it to graduation at all. I probably won’t ever be able to sing.”

“I know,” Andrew said gently and rested his hand on her shoulder.

She looked up without raising her head.

“You asked me if I knew about issues of life and death. Do you remember this?”

“Yes, and I remember how you didn’t answer my question at all,” she said softly.

“I’m going to answer it now,” he said gently. “I do know a lot about these things. I have seen a great many people like you, Kelsey, young people who are afraid, who try to find the answers in books and on the Internet. They have all been trying desperately to understand why it’s happening to them.”

“What are you saying,” she asked weakly.

“I’m not really a dishwasher, Kelsey, I’m an angel,” he said gently.

“You’re an angel?” she looked at him somewhat skeptically. “Why are you here?”

“God sent me,” he said simply.

“I see, God sent a dishwashing angel to me to make sure I find the Christmas spirit? Are you the ghost of the past, present, or future?” Her question emerged sounding bitter, but he could see that she was frightened, and when he looked at her, he could see angry tears beginning to stream down her cheeks. “I’m dying and you’re making jokes. The next thing you’re going to tell is that you’re the Grim Reaper.”

“No, I am not,” he said forcefully all the while trying to keep his frustration at bay. He eventually closed his eyes as a white light began to radiate from his being. “Look at me, Kelsey,” he said after a few moments of silence passed.

She slowly looked up, her eyes widening when she saw him enfolded in white light. Within seconds, she had collapsed to the floor in a faint.

*****

Twenty minutes later she moaned and opened her eyes. When she saw him kneeling down next to the couch and looking down at her with concern in his eyes, she sat up quickly. “What happened? What did you do to me?”

“I didn’t do anything to you, Kelsey, you fainted,” Andrew said gently. “Are you OK?”

She nodded, but after a few moments she looked at him, he was still glowing, and she blushed slightly. “That wasn’t a dream, was it? Y-you really are an angel, aren’t you?”

“Yes I really am, and no you didn’t dream it,” he said gently.

She shook her head not knowing what to say. When she looked back at him, she sighed deeply. “You must think I’m the biggest fool that ever lived,” she whispered. “All those idiotic things I said. I mean, if I had known…”

Andrew smiled weakly. “It’s OK, Kelsey, don’t be too hard on yourself. Actually, some of the things you said, I found quite amusing.”

“You did?” she asked.

He nodded smiling reassuringly at her.

“What kind of angel are you?” she asked almost expecting his eventual answer, especially after she had seen how he reacted when she mentioned the Grim Reaper.

Andrew sighed, he had dreaded this moment ever since he had been giving the assignment, but the only thing he could think of to do was to simply out and say it. “Kelsey, I’m an Angel of Death.”

She nodded as though she understood what he had just said. “So you knew all along that I was sick, didn’t you?”

He nodded.

“And you know that it’s getting worse. I mean you don’t have to hide the truth from me, I know I don’t have much time left. It must be that way, seeing as God sent you,” she said softly and looked down at her lap. After a few moments, she finally looked back at him solemnly. “Should I be afraid of you?”

“No, of course not. I’d never hurt you, I’m here to help you,” he said gently.

“Yeah,” she said softly and shrugged her shoulders. “Somehow I had that feeling about you. You talked to me the other day about this, asking me all those questions. I guess I should have known.” She paused and took a deep breath. “I know I shouldn’t be afraid, but I am.”

“Of me?” he asked, his voice filled with sadness.

“No, of dying,” she said and looked into his gentle eyes. “Andrew, the doctor stopped the Chemo about a month ago because the Cancer had spread. I guess he figured that I should live the rest of my life in peace, without having to deal with medical issues. But, I’m frightened of what will happen.”

“Most people are,” he said as he sat back down beside her. “Kelsey, I’ll be with you the entire time, that’s why I’m here now. Not to make you feel something about Christmas that isn’t there for you, but to make sure that you won’t be alone. In truth, you’re never alone, and even though you probably know this already, God is always with you, because you are His child and He loves you. But, I’m also here for you, and I want you to know that if I can do anything for you, I will.”

She closed her eyes and then after a moment, she opened them again. “I’m glad you’re here. I mean, knowing that you’re here, makes me actually look forward to Christmas coming.”

“I’m glad I could help,” he smiled gently.

“I guess even if I wanted to be afraid of you, I just couldn’t. I know you, perhaps not very well, but all I have seen of you is how kind, generous, and giving you are. Not to mention the fact that you sure can whip up a mean lasagna.” She looked at him smiling despite her sadness.

He smiled recognizing her attempts at making a joke. He reached over and took her hand in his as he began to speak. “I wanted to tell you everything sooner, but I didn’t want you to be afraid. I wanted to tell you that what you read in the Internet is true, about death being wonderful and glorious. But, the church was also right, in that it’s a rebirth. It is, but in your case, it is one of your spirit. You won’t be alone through any of this, but I ask that you do me one favor, Kelsey.”

“What is that?”

“Don’t ever compare me to the Grim Reaper again,” his voice was filled with such indescribable pain, that Kelsey wanted to cry. Instead, she remained silent and he continued. “The view people sometimes have of death hurts me, especially when I try to comfort those who must face this. Kelsey, I would never hurt anyone, and I know that that may seem hard to believe, but the Angel of Death doesn’t kill people, we are there to support and comfort those as they go through their own reservations and fears about death and dying.”

She looked at him somewhat shamefaced. “I’m sorry I said that, Andrew. Will you forgive me?” He nodded as she continued. “I guess it was really mean of me to do that to you, and I guess there really is no such thing as a Grim Reaper, is there?”

Andrew shook his head adamantly, “no, just angels who want only to help.”

“And you have helped me much more than you know,” she said weakly, but paused for a moment before she gunned up the courage to speak his name. “Andrew?”

“Yes?”

“Do you think I’ll get to sing?”

“I don’t know, but if that’s your wish, I’ll help you make it come true,” he said.

*****

Kelsey woke up Christmas morning. She had been feeling badly, but decided that she would go through her day as she had planned. The people at the soup kitchen were counting on her. She got dressed and went into the bathroom to wash her face. The sounds of the parade could be heard as she was brushing her teeth.

Moments later, Andrew knocked at the door to the bathroom.

“Yeah, you can come in,” she said as soon as she had finished the task. “I’m just getting ready to go to the soup kitchen.”

“Merry Christmas, Kelsey,” Andrew said as he came into the bathroom.

“Merry Christmas, Andrew,” she said.

“Do you mind if I come with you this morning?” he asked as soon as he splashed some water on his face.

“I’d like that a lot,” she said and handed him a towel. “Besides, they probably could use a little extra help anyway. I really don’t know how many people are going to be there today.”

Andrew smiled as he wiped the soft towel over his face.

Kelsey came out of the bathroom, and walked into the living room. As she looked down, she could see the music on the floor with ‘Dancing With Angels’ strewn across it. She still did not have a gift for him, but since discovering who he was, she added personal lyrics to the song and had finished it. Perhaps for Christmas, this was the best gift she could offer her friend.

She rolled the three sheets of music together and bound them with a small red ribbon. As she had finished tying the ribbon around the music, he entered the living room.

“I have something for you,” she said softly.

“That was not necessary,” he said gently.

“I know, but I wanted to do something for you,” she said. “I hope that this will make up for what I said that hurt you the other day.”

Andrew accepted the gift. Gently he removed the ribbon and looked down at the music that was on the page. After a few moments, he looked up, his eyes shining as he regarded her. “Thank you, Kelsey, it’s beautiful.”

She smiled, and reached for her coat. “I guess we should get going, huh?”

Andrew smiled and nodded. He laid the music gently on the coffee table and reached for his parka.

*****

“It came upon a Midnight Clear, that glorious song of old,” sang Kelsey to the room filled with homeless people. Andrew and Tess stood in the corner watching the young woman pour out her heart in the words of a song.

As the song ended, some of the people applauded, and a man in the back of the room shouted out a title. Kelsey remained at the piano, but respected the request of the man.

“Oh there’s like home for the holidays…” she began to sing once again, but Andrew could see that she was getting weaker, and he wondered if that particular song had hit her harder than anyone in that room could have imagined.

“Why do you sing about home, when we have none?” one man shouted from the back of the room. “What do you know about not having something?”

Kelsey stopped playing, the tears beginning to stream down her cheeks. What she didn’t see, was standing in the back of the room, Monica had arrived, and standing next to her were two people, a stern looking man, and an eloquently dressed woman. They stood in the back of the room watching the reaction of the young woman seated at the piano.

“Perhaps I don’t have the right to sing about going home for the holidays,” Kelsey said, her voice filled with sadness. “But, you have no right to tell me that I have it better than you, because I don’t.”

The man who had posed that question shook his head. “You have no idea how we live,” he said angrily. “I’ve lost everything.”

“As have I,” Kelsey said softly. “Do you know what? All of you, do you know that I’m dying? I have Cancer, and my Christmas wish was to sing for you. I wanted to make a difference. Everyone except my friend, Andrew, said ‘Look, there’s Kelsey Baker, she’s lost her Christmas spirit and is acting like a Scrooge.’ I wanted to sing, and that’s what I’m going to do, even if I have to sing to an empty room.” The tears continued to stream down her cheeks as she continued to speak, her voice strong and assured. “I may die today, but you know what? Whenever it happens, I will die singing.” She looked at Andrew and through her tears, she smiled weakly.

The people in the room grew silent, the couple standing next to Monica were now stunned. The woman could feel the tears in her eyes, and the man looked as though he had been slapped. Both looked at Monica unable to utter a sound. The angel nodded and they approached the middle of the room.

After a few moments of silence, the man began to clap his hands loudly. As he continued, the other people began to applaud as well, and after a few moments, Kelsey looked up from her place at the piano. When her eyes came to rest on the man, she swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat, “Daddy!”

“Sing Kelsey,” the man approached the stage and spoke. “You make us both proud.”

Kelsey could feel the tears continuing to stream down her cheeks, but she began to play the introduction to ‘Hark the Herald Angels Sing.’

As she sang, she could feel her body getting weaker, and when the song ended, she could feel the dizziness beginning to overwhelm her and she slid from the bench and collapsed onto the floor. The applause was ringing in her ears, when she looked up and saw Andrew standing next to her.

“I did it, Andrew, I did it,” she whispered the tears falling freely.

“Yes, you did, Kelsey,” he whispered as her parents came up onto the stage and her father wrapped her in his arms.

“I’m sorry, Kelsey,” her father said softly. “I’m so sorry.”

“I love you, Daddy,” she said softly. “I love you both, and I wanted to tell you everything, I just didn’t know how.”

“We know, Darling,” Mrs. Baker said gently, brushing the tears from her daughter’s eyes. “We were stubborn, and blind to the fact that you have so much talent.”

Kelsey smiled as she felt her parents hugging her. In their arms, she allowed herself to close her eyes, and she lost consciousness. She could not hear her father screaming for someone to call an ambulance, or her mother completely in tears as she held her body. All she could hear was music.

“Andrew, are you still there?” her subconscious mind began to speak to him.

“Yes, Kelsey, I’m here,” he said gently. “Are you afraid?”

“Not really, but I am ready to go Home now, you helped make my dream come true,” she said softly. “The greatest wish of my life, and you helped make it come true!”

He could feel the tears in his eyes, and when she reached out to take his hand, he held hers gently in his and they walked together towards the sounds of the music in the distance.

Epilogue

After the funeral, Andrew had given the music to ‘Dancing With Angels’ to Kelsey’s parents, and within a year, it was recorded by her older brother, and released as a CD single. Her memory had lived on with her family, and every time Andrew would hear the song she had given to him, he would smile. Even in death, she had accomplished her dream of making music! Her love of Christmas, spread throughout the world, and she witnessed it all among the stars…

The End.

***Note: The story you have just read is an amateur story and not intended to infringe on any previously held copyrights. The lyrics for ‘What a Wonderful World’ are borrowed, and the Text ‘Dancing With Angels’ belongs to me, please do not use it without permission. Thank you.

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