A Touched by an Angel / Wizard of Oz

Semi-crossover by: Yvette Jessen

As I was running down the street in the direction of my friend's house, a little dog was following me. I turned around and stopped, all the while glancing behind me and seeing if I was still being followed. When I concluded that no one was behind me, I sighed with relief.

"I think I lost her, Ringo," I said to my friend's dog, which I was taking care of while she was visiting friends in Los Angeles. As if on cue, Ringo barked, leaving me to conclude that maybe the old woman from three doors down was still behind me, yelling at me because Ringo had gotten into her yard and chased her nasty old cat.

I glanced skyward and could see the dark brownish color of the clouds hanging overhead, but decided that instead of worrying too much about it, I kept running until I reached the small farm where I was staying with some friends before my husband would return home from another of his boring business trips.

I wiped my hand over my forehead and could feel the sweat streaming down my face. It was really no wonder why it was I had left Houston when I did. If I could not handle the late spring weather in the German countryside, then chances are, I would barely have been able to handle life there, if I had made the choice to go back.

As I ran, the clouds grew blacker, and I shook my head. This was not pretty. I hadn't seen a tornado since my youth, and even watching movies like 'Twister' made me get clammy hands, and start to sweat profusely.

Glancing around, I could see that the sky was getting darker by the second. I reached the small farm by this time, only to see the chickens flying around, the wind blowing profusely and I glanced skyward. "God," I began to pray. "I thought there were no tornados in Germany," I muttered under my breath as Ringo was nearly swept up in the wind and I reached with one hand and grabbed him before he could be swept away by the very strange weather we were having. I mean, if I had known this, I wouldn't have made this silly trip anyway, instead I would have insisted that Ringo come and stay with me for a few days.

At any rate, I was literally plopped in the middle of nowhere, and suddenly it dawned on me what was happening, and why it was that I was freaking out. It was a movie, I was dreaming, that's it. I pinched my arm, but when I didn't wake up, I tried to swallow the lump that had formed itself in my throat, but that seemed not to have done anything helpful except bruise my arm.

"Ringo, let's get into the house," I called out, above the sounds of the wind, which resembled that of a locomotive charging through the living room. Geez, this whole episode was like a movie I had seen as a little girl. Right down to the dog that was in the story. "Steffi?" I called out to my friend, but obviously I concluded that she probably had a TV and VCR set up to watch 'Touched by an Angel' all the while the weather outside was going ballistic. Whatever her reason, she didn't seem to hear my call, and had no idea that I was about to freak out about being alone where there were tornados around.

I made my way through the house, Ringo conveniently following me, his barking being drowned out by the sounds of the rumbling that was taking place outside.

As the sounds of the wind grew louder, I could suddenly feel that a large framed picture of John Dye had fallen and hit me on the back of the head, thus rendering me unconscious for enough time to give the tornado a chance to pick up the house, carry me, Ringo, and John's picture far, far away. Oh what would Christjane say when she got back and her favorite picture had been shattered against my thick skull?

At any rate, when I woke up again, I could see that I was now up inside of the cyclone. It was downright eerie, I could see my neighbors walking hand in hand in front of me, and their smiling faces somehow showing me that they were oblivious that this was happening or that it was real.

Seconds later, I saw her; it was Miss Monique, the nasty woman from down the road. She was pedaling her bicycle like a mad woman, but within seconds, I heard a loud cackle emerging and had to rub my eyes to see if she was really what I was seeing, and not that I was choking on a piece of bad meat.

As she turned into a witch, complete with black satin dress, I shook my head in wonderment as the house began to fall. I screamed and I looked down at the now smashed picture of John Dye and shook my head. I really could use some divine intervention, I thought to myself as the house landed with a thump.

Once I managed to collect Ringo, I walked towards the door all the while wondering if my friend had tornado insurance and how much her family would complain about the high cost of transporting it from this place to the middle of the German countryside.

I stepped towards the door, and opened it, all the sudden my eyes resting on a very bright, very colorful place. "Uh Ringo, I don't think we're in Germany any more."

He barked his wide eyes taking in this weird looking place.

"Don't get sick, Ringo," I whispered under my breath and turned around to see a large pink colored bubble coming closer to me. I glanced around with the intention of running, but discovered that it would not work. I was literally trapped.

As the bubble dissolved, I looked up to see a woman dressed in white and she was looking at me with gentility on her face, but a look of concern shadowed her eyes when she saw my dark colored dress and the dog at my feet.

"Are you an angel or a demon?" She asked, her voice a lilting Irish baroque and I looked at her with total shock registering on my face.

"Neither," I said. "But, I'm really glad you speak English, because I'm in need of some directions."

"How about Hare Krishna?" A voice erupted and I turned to see a man dressed in a black cloak. "They will give you some direction."

My eyes rolled, I had heard that line before, and I think it was in 'The Muppet Movie'. I looked back at the woman and shrugged my shoulders all the while shaking my head.

"You just dropped a house on Monique, the Fallen Angel of the East, and that's why I'm asking," the woman in white said, and I just shook my head as I looked over and could see the red shoes sticking out from under the house. My stomach literally tied itself in a knot as I beheld the sight of the fallen angel and then looked at the woman in white.

"Fallen angel of the East? Who are you?" I looked at her as though I was anticipating the guys in the white lab coats would be coming and taking her away, thus rendering me helpless in finding my way out of this nutty place. What I actually saw was not the people from the psycho ward.

"My name is Monica, and I'm an angel sent by God," she said and all the people present smiled broadly and as her voice emerged, another woman approached me.

"Welcome to Internet-Land, which is one of the newer counties of Oz, and I'm one of the two mayors here, I'm Dana," the woman smiled warmly, her eyes bright and cheerful. "We have decided to make you our newest newbie here, what's you're name?"

"Yva, why?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper and I looked at the woman in white. "What's happening here?"

Monica smiled, "Oh nothing major, all you have to do is give your email address and we'll take care of the rest."

I nodded and within seconds, the entire group assembled started singing the 'Touched by an Angel' theme music and the entire community of people began to dance.

As the song ended, I was somewhat flabbergasted by what had happened. I had received so many candy bars, and other things that my dentist would surely be happy for months, because he would see me in his office daily.

When the music stopped, a slick woman in a black dress suddenly appeared from out of nowhere, and the entire community shrank back in horror.

"Who squashed Monique?" She shouted to the crowd.

"Who is that?" I asked Monica who was acting as my self-professed angel of sorts.

"That's Kathleen, the fallen angel of the West," Monica said. "She's worse than the other one."

"If that's even possible," I muttered under my breath as the woman in black came closer to me.

"You flattened my friend," Kathleen sneered at me, and I looked at her as though she was just as mad as everyone else around here.

"Haven't you forgotten the slippers?" Monica asked, and as soon as Kathleen approached the house, the shoes on the fallen angel vanished and reappeared on my feet.

"Whoa, wicked," I muttered, but suddenly realized that I wasn't completely used to heels. As Kathleen realized what had happened and how quickly the shoes on her fellow fallen angel's feet had vanished she came over to me and began to speak.

"Give me those shoes, you don't know how their magic works," she said.

"No, but they match my outfit better than yours," I snickered. "Maybe you should try some matching black patent leather shoes, demon chick, they would be better for your all black outfit. I mean, after all, if you kept them, then you'd look as though your feet were bleeding."

With that, Kathleen got upset and disappeared in a flame of yucky colored orange smoke.

Once she was gone, Monica looked at me. "And to think that she and I used to be friends."

"I won't even ask, but can you tell me how to get out of here?" I asked. "I need to get back, and Ringo really needs a bath."

Monica shook her head. "I can't tell you, Yva, but I can tell you this. God loves you."

My eyes rolled; yes I knew that already, if watching 'Touched By An Angel' did anything, it was there to remind me of that fact.

"Monica, I don't mean to be a pain, but I really would like to get home, I like speaking English, but my husband is back home in Germany, my friends are there, and Ringo really needs a bath. Just take a whiff, he smells like…."

"…A Dog," someone shouted and I looked up and nodded.

"Yeah, so how do I get out of here, I can't very well go the way I came, and these shoes are really starting to rub against my heels."

Monica shook her head. "I can't lead you out of here, but I can tell you who might be able to help you. The Angel of Oz."

"Who's he?" I asked.

"Well, he's a good guy, if that's what you are wanting to know, but you have to travel a great distance to see him. He's up to his eyes in trying to get all the files organized and probably won't be able to get out of permanent records until next week sometime." Monica said smiling weakly. "Just follow the yellow road until you reach it, and then you can request to see him, he goes by Ronald."

"Groovy, come on Ringo, maybe it won't take us close to forever. Let's get a move on," I started to follow the road until reaching the edge of Internet-land. Once I had reached the edge, I had at least 50 email addresses stuffed in my pocket.

It didn't occur to me that these addresses would be valid in Germany, but I figured I would get a bunch of mistake windows if they didn't.

*****

It was late afternoon when I reached a fork in the road. I was thinking about how grateful I was that I was able to take breaks now and again. This was definitely a weird place; there were roads, but no cars. I was really starting to feel bored and a tad bit on the lonely side.

As I reached the fork in the road, I looked and could see the cornfields all around me. I took a deep breath. Monica said I should not take these shoes off, but my feet were really starting to hurt. I took a deep breath and sat down on the grass near a large white colored fence. "Which way should I go now?" I asked myself.

"Excuse me, but that way is nice," I turned abruptly around to see a scarecrow behind me, but no people. Now, I really was feeling like Dorothy, and I took a deep breath as I watched him point down the other road.

"Who are you?" I asked as I looked up and could see the green eyes of the scarecrow. He was definitely cute, his smile was warm, and he seemed to not like the hay that was stuffed into the front of his green colored shirt.

"My name is Andrew," the scarecrow said. "And you are?"

"Yva," I replied. "What are you doing up there with that pole up your back?" I couldn't help but ask.

"Well, you see, I'm trying to keep the crows out of the corn, but that doesn't seem to help much," he said, but as he spoke, a large black crow landed on his head. "This is terrible, I can't even scare a crow."

I could see that he was very sad about this, and once I managed to help him down, I offered him a small smile. "I couldn't scare a fly, Andrew, but that's OK, I like you and think that there is more to a person, or a scarecrow, than how much they are capable of scaring someone."

Andrew looked at me. "Yes, perhaps you are right, but still…"

I leaned over and kissed his cheek. "Don't be sad, you have other wonderful qualities."

"Perhaps, but not having any brains is one of the hardest problems I have. It's no wonder the crows laugh at me," he said softly and I watched as he bowed his head.

As I helped him to his feet, I smiled. "Andrew, why don't you come with me, I'm going to see Ronald, the Angel of Oz, and maybe he could help you find a little bit of that lacking self-confidence you seem to have."

"I have confidence, I'm confident that I have no brains, just straw," he said sorrowfully.

"Wait a minute, you're more than just a bag of straw with eyes, you're a friend," I said. "Come on, what do you have to loose?"

Andrew stewed about these words for a few moments and then once he stood up, we managed to continue on our way.

"How long have you been up there?" I asked him trying to make small talk.

"I don't really know, I would sleep off and on, but not very many people came down this way, I guess they had other means of transportation besides walking."

"I get used to it, my friend and I would take Ringo out now and again for walks when I visited her, and now he's more in shape than I am." I smiled as Andrew offered me his arm. Once I took it, we quickened our pace.

As we made our way through a crop of trees, neither of us could see that Kathleen, the Fallen Angel of the West was lurking behind one of them. I approached a tree and picked an apple.

"Halt, what do you think you're doing picking my apples?" A loud voice emerged thus causing me to look up and into the brown eyes of a woman who appeared to be the self-professed protector of the apple trees.

"I uh, I'm sorry," I managed to stammer as she jerked the apple out of my hand and I looked into her eyes.

"Tess, she's with me," Andrew said approaching the woman. "We stopped because Yva was getting hungry. It won't happen again."

Tess nodded and once she handed me an apple, I thanked her before she disappeared.

*****

Once the Orchard guard had left, I began to walk between the trees in the direction of a small cabin. As I walked towards the house, I spotted something that was rather curious, a man made out of tin, and he was holding an axe. Next to him, there was a small turkey.

As I heard the sounds of breathing, I realized that maybe he was rusted. Looking around, I spotted a can with what I surmised to be oil, and I picked it up and began to give him the oil on his joints. Once he was able to speak, he looked down at the turkey.

"Alexander, next time; I'm not going to take your word for it about the weather," he said.

"Alexander? Is that the turkey's name?" I asked as Ringo started barking.

The tin man nodded. "Yes, and my name is Adam."

"My name is Yva, this is Ringo, and that's Andrew."

Adam smiled and reached down to pat the head of the turkey.

"How did you end up like this, Adam?" Andrew asked.

"Well, Alexander usually advises me when it rains, but he didn't, and it was about a year ago when I rusted solid," Adam said.

"It's been that long since someone has been down this road?" I asked, my heart going out to Adam for having to hold his arms up for an extended period of time. "You poor thing, my heart really goes out to you."

"I don't have a heart," Adam said softly.

"Everyone has a heart, Adam," I said all the while shaking my head.

"No, I don't, at least that's what people say about me, I'm heartless," he said softly as a single tear trickled down over his galvanized cheek.

"No, don't cry, Adam," I admonished. "You can't, then you'll rust solid again."

Adam nodded and rested a heavy hand on my shoulder. "You have a good heart, Yva!" He said softly as we made our way back to the road.

I took a deep breath and looked at Andrew. "You think Ronald can help him too?" I whispered; my voice all the while filled with uncertainty.

"I don't see why not, why don't we give it a try and see what happens?" he suggested and looked at Adam. "Why don't you come with us, we're going to the Angel of Oz and see if he can help get Yva home, maybe he will give you some advice about the thing about the heart?"

Adam nodded, but before we could move on, Kathleen had appeared on the roof of a house. "He-he-he-he," she cackled. "So helping her along are we my sweet Angel Boys?" Her voice emerged filled with sarcasm and hate and I self-consciously trembled.

Adam looked at her, his blue-gray eyes filled with his own brand of frustration. "Don't you ever call me your sweet Angel Boy again."

Kathleen cackled yet again but before disappearing, she threw a ball of fire at Andrew. I screamed as he caught fire and Adam pushed me gently away so that I wouldn't get burnt. I decided at that moment, that the Fallen Angel of the West was not making jokes, she was completely serious and I should be a little bit concerned with her behavior.

As soon as she was gone, Andrew and Adam both promised me that they would help me get to Ronald if it was the last thing they did, and I realized how grateful I was that they were so willing to help me get home.

It would not be until much later that I would realize that helping me was a part of their assignment, and that their jobs meant helping people, like me, find their way back home.

*****

So there we were, walking down the yellow road, Ringo, Andrew the scarecrow, Adam the tin man, Alexander, the turkey, and me. It would have been comical for all of us if we hadn't have stepped into a large and very frightening forest.

"Adam, do you suppose we might run into any wild animals?" I asked him, making sure that I was asking the friend of mine who had a brain. Andrew would have been upset if I had asked him a question with the word 'think' in it, simply because he was convinced that he had no brain, but somehow I knew that he did.

"Maybe a few bears or something?" Adam said with a smirk, he knew that I loved bears, but meeting one at that time was not really something that I was anticipating.

As we continued to walk, I noticed that it was getting darker and darker and I was getting more and more uneasy with the surroundings. We continued to walk and suddenly a large golden animal leapt out in front of us and I could hear a low growl emerging.

"Who are you?" I asked, my voice beginning to tremble, and I leaned up against Andrew for some support.

The animal released a low growl, and walked closer to where I was standing. I sank down to my knees and began to pray. "Father, please help me."

In response to my prayer, a bolt of lightening lit up the sky, thus frightening the lion and causing him to shrink back. "Afraid of a little lightening storm?" Adam asked sarcastically.

The lion responded by cowering behind his large paws. "Please, don't hurt me, I'm not evil like the lion in 'The Invitation', I'm really quite peaceful, my name is Sam."

"Sam, the lion?" I asked, with rather intense irony in my voice. Poor Sam, he seemed to be something of a coward, but in the back of my mind, I could see a creature that was kind and nice.

As the lion joined us on the yellow road towards the city where Ronald resided, my thoughts were filled with strange ideas of fallen angels, devil's food cake, and chocolate covered raisins. It was a strange dream, and if I wasn't dreaming all of this, then I was in a lot of trouble. What if Ronald were to send me to defeat the fallen angel of the west. I don't think I could have done it, even though I was a rather faithful person, and why did the three friends of mine happen to be the names of angels in 'Touched by an Angel'. Maybe they were angels who were sent by God to protect me.

Shaking my head, we continued towards the city, walking all night, my legs getting tired, and all the while, I kept wondering when Kathleen was going to strike again.

We stopped early the following morning and could see the city. It's beautiful, I thought to myself, but wondered all the while how it was that I had stepped into the middle of a children's storybook.

*****

As we reached the city and were allowed through the gates, everyone kept telling us that Ronald was too busy to see us, and that as an angel from God, he had lots of files to go through. I could see a great deal of frustration in all of this, and eventually, I managed to use reverse psychology to get us through the door.

So, there we were, walking down a long and darkened hallway. I was getting a bit nervous and Andrew nudged my arm and looked at me. "Don't be afraid, Yva, you're not alone."

I nodded and reached for his hand. "I know you're right, but I'm with Sam, I'm scared."

Adam put his arm around my shoulder and we walked towards the door that would lead into a large hall. I had no idea what would befall us once we reached the doorway, but at the same time, I felt completely calm about the fact that my friends were with me.

We arrived at the doorway, and standing in the middle of the room was Tess. Well, we recognized her as the guard of the orchard, but she carried a no nonsense look on her face.

"We're here to see Ronald, the Angel of Oz," I began.

"Silence," Tess shouted to us and I shrank back somewhat. "Now, Ronald is presently busy with the eighth season files, so you're going to get to deal with me."

My eyes rolled, great, I thought to myself, and then looked back at her. "What do we have to do?" I asked.

"You must prove your love to God by performing a simple task," Tess said.

"But, God knows we love Him," I objected. "He hears this every time I pray, I should not have to prove my love to Him."

"Right you are, Yva, but Ronald has his hands tied and he needs someone to defeat Kathleen, and you are the chosen one."

"Me? The only thing I could do with a fallen angel is make fun of her," I said, all the while remembering the incident with the shoes back in Internet-land.

"Just keep your faith, baby," Tess said. "God sent you some help, you have Andrew, Adam and Sam to help you. Use their wisdom to help you accomplish this task. OK?"

I nodded, and within seconds, the scene had changed; Tess was gone and we were now in a spooky forest, Ringo was walking around sniffing the tree stumps and I was looking towards Andrew for some kind of ideas.

We continued walking and suddenly, without warning, I was snagged by a large flying monkey and I could hear the 'Theme from The Monkees' playing in the background. "Andrew, help me!" I screamed with all the strength I had and could only see that behind me, Ringo had been captured as well, and Adam, Andrew, and Sam were back on the ground, and watching me as I struggled against the grasp the flying monkey had on me.

Flying into an open window, I was deposited on the floor and I looked up to see that Kathleen was standing over me, a sneer covering her lips. "Well, well, well," she cackled and I looked up at her all the while shrugging my shoulders.

"Well, I see we meet again, me and the queen of bad temperament," I smiled weakly, but my eyes would not leave hers. "You gonna tell me why you sent the welcoming party to get me? I was just on my way here to tell you that the Angel of Oz wants you to leave, get out of town. The lease on your tasteless castle is up."

"Are you finished throwing insults, or should I take your little dog and fill him up with biscuits until he explodes?"

"He's not my dog, Ringo belongs to my friend, Christjane, surely you've heard of her, and she lives a few houses down from you."

"Oh yes, the Cliff Richard fan," Kathleen said as a sigh emerged.

I smiled, yep, Kathleen knew Christjane well. "I like his music too, but the point is, Your Fallen-Angelness, you're not wanted here anymore." From outside, I could hear Andrew, Adam, and Sam banging on the door, and when it finally gave way, my three friends ran into the room and they regarded Kathleen with frustration, particularly Andrew who did not take kindly to the fireball that Kathleen had thrown at him earlier on.

"What is this?" Kathleen responded to my words and the presence of the three angels who were still disguised as a scarecrow, tin man, and lion.

"Well, let's just say that the gig is up, and we don't want you here anymore. Get out of here, go and haunt someone else. Oz doesn't need you anymore, and though I don't think water would get rid of you, I will give you another option. Father, please light Your way into this dark and creepy place. Show this poor soul Your healing and loving light."

As I spoke, the light that filled the room was unmistakable, and we, along with Ringo and Alexander watched as Kathleen disappeared from Oz for good, and everyone began to sing, 'You light up my life', all of them somewhat off key, and the monkeys began to dance as that song ended and 'I'm a Believer' began.

Within seconds, I looked at my three angelic friends, they were no longer dressed in these weird costumes, instead they were in human form, and Andrew wrapped his arms around me and swung me around. "Thank you, your belief made all the difference in the world."

I smiled. "Let's get back to Ronald's hall and see if there's anything else we have to do before I can go home."

My three friends agreed and within seconds, we were transported back to the hall and were standing in the room with Tess before us.

"We did it," I said. "Kathleen is gone."

Tess nodded as Ringo went over and began to pull a large purple curtain to the side and I could see Ronald for the first time, he was hunched over a large pile of papers. In spite of the earnest situation I could not help but smile. The Angel of Oz was rather shy, awkward, and very sweet.

He turned around to see us looking at him, and I smiled despite Tess' serious eyes that were following mine.

"Hello there," Ronald began.

"Hi, so you're the Angel of Oz?"

"Well, that's what people call me here, but the fact is, I'm just an angel from Permanent Records. I don't suppose you've heard of that, though," he said.

"I have, at least a little, but I've only seen you on two episodes," I smiled. "Ronald, can you help me get home?"

He shook his head. "I'm sorry, Yva, but I cannot help you get home, I can only offer you a little bit of support."

"How can you do that? I need to get home, and Ringo here, he needs a bath," I whispered.

"The bath I'm sure we can help you with that, but getting home would require an angel of a different kind, and you happen to be friends with two of them already. Andrew and Adam are the angels whose job it is to see that people make it home."

I looked at my two friends, and as Sam and Tess nodded, I could see that Monica had suddenly appeared from out of nowhere, and she too, was nodding.

I looked at Andrew and Adam. "So, you're going to help me get home?"

Andrew nodded. "That's why we were sent to see you, Yva, to tell you that God loves you, and he has fed into your spirit a great deal of inspiration and love. All that he would hope you would do is grasp onto it."

I nodded all the while trying to understand their words. "What do I have to do to get home?"

"Easy," Monica began. "Take Andrew's hand, and imagine the following words. 'There's no place like home' and you'll be back there.

Upon saying good-bye to the angels I had met on this journey, I did as Monica had said and within seconds I was back home, lying on the sofa in the living room, and staring up at the ceiling.

In the background, I could hear the DVD of 'The Wizard of Oz' playing in one end of the room and the 'Touched by an Angel' soundtrack playing in the other, and it suddenly dawned on me why it was that I had had such a strange and wonderful dream. Seconds later, Steffi came into the room. "Hey, Yva, I just had a great idea for a story."

"Yes, my friend," I responded. "So did I."

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