A 'Touched By An Angel' Story

By: Yvette Jessen

It had been a long day and Adam was sitting alone in the park watching the pigeons pecking the ground. He had been working since early morning, then he met his fellow Angel of Death, Andrew for ginger ale before the two of them parted company. Adam was not so certain, but he was wondering if maybe he had said or done something to upset his friend because ever since he had made some remark about an assignment stepping out in front of a bus, Andrew had become somewhat distant with him.

As he sat on the bench, he wondered if the comments he had made had been out of line, wrong or just, simply put, 'not very angelic'.

"Father, what am I doing?" He asked the stillness, his words echoing the feeling of sadness that seemed to radiate his being.

"Shall I make a list?" A stern sounding voice emerged and he looked up.

"Hello, Sam," Adam spoke. He did not work often with Sam simply because the two angels worked in a different departments, Sam was a supervisor's supervisor in Casework, and Adam was an Angel of Death.

"Adam, the Father has decided to take you off being an Angel of Death and put you on Casework for a time," Sam said as he sat down nearby and folded his hands on his lap, his words immediately filled with the older angel's unique form of love and understanding.

"Sam, I-I never did casework, I mean; isn't Andrew better qualified than me?" Adam asked. "I'm not good with people."

"Don't underestimate yourself, Adam. You have to be very good with people if you're with them during their last days on Earth," Sam said smiling gently. "You trust the Father's judgment, do you not?"

"Yes, Sam, but…" Adam objected.

"…Listen to me," Sam's coal black eyes met those of the younger angel. "Adam, you are by no means being demoted, the Father is pleased with your work, but He thinks this might help you be better able to relate with those you bring home." Sam could see the genuine fear in Adam's face, and he rested a gentle hand on his shoulder. "You have not done casework in over 200 years, and now you're literally plopped down in the middle of it. My friend, this is not a punishment, this is a lesson for you, and something that you should embrace with all that is within you."

"How do I do it, Sam?" Adam asked weakly.

"Tess will be supervising you, and I told her to go easy on you, as this is going to be your first case in a very long time. You're not dealing with someone who went Home, you're dealing with a young woman who has to learn to let go," Sam said and pointed. Across the park a woman who looked to be in her early twenties was walking along the path, her head was down. Her long brown hair was hanging down over her shoulders but the moment she looked up, both angels could see that her eyes were void of any expression.

"Who is she?" Adam asked as his curiosity got the better of him and he looked at Sam.

"All I can tell you is her name is Deborah Fitzgerald. Everyone calls her Deb, and she's a college student," Sam said. "You're going to be her new advisor."

"And when do I make contact with her?" Adam asked weakly.

"Very soon," came the brisk answer. "Now, I suggest you wait here for a little while before you go back to the University."

"OK, Sam. I don't know what I'm supposed to do, but I'll do my best," Adam said softly and once the supervisor was gone, he sighed deeply and looked out across the park and continued to watch as Deborah was tossing crumbs of bread to the ducks as they swam in the lake. As he watched her, he couldn't help but wonder what it was about her that made her look so sad.

He looked down at his clothing at that moment and he immediately noticed that he was no longer dressed in a beige suit, but rather was wearing black jeans and a turtleneck sweater. A matching black trench coat was next to him on the bench as well as a small soft black leather briefcase. Curiously, he opened the briefcase and could see that there were books inside; they were music books, to be exact, for classic piano. He smiled slightly as he thought about how he could play a little bit on the piano. It was a good memory for him, and he sat there for a time completely lost in his reflections.

"Excuse me?" A voice interrupted his flow of thoughts and he looked up to see the soft green eyes of the young woman who was to be his assignment.

"Yes?" He smiled weakly as he made eye contact with her.

"I was just wondering if you knew the time?" Deborah spoke, her voice soft.

Adam dug in his pocket for his pocket watch and when he found it, he pulled it out, opened it, and looked down at the face. "It's 4:30."

"Oh, no, I'm doomed," She moaned and sat down on the bench and shook her head.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"Nothing, I was just supposed to be at my advisor's office this afternoon at four and I forgot," she said softly, but as she spoke she shrugged her shoulders. "Oh well, I guess I'd better call this guy and see if I can reschedule. Hopefully, he won't be too upset with me."

"You're a student?"

"Yeah, at least I am now, but who knows what will happen when, oh 'what's his name' gets through with me," she said.

"You don't know your advisor's name?" Adam asked.

"No, see I just transferred here from out of state, and this was my first full day at the music school here," she said. "I'm sorry, but I really have to get out of here."

Adam nodded as Deborah took off in the direction of the park entrance, his confusion mounting with each second.

"Well, Angel Boy, it's been awhile since we worked together," Tess' voice interrupted his wandering thoughts and eventually he looked up at her, this time the words obviously would not come, and his feelings of confusion were quickly mounting.

"Where are Andrew and Monica?" He asked, thinking it would be awfully nice to have some back up on this case.

"They're working on another case, this one is just going to be you and me for a while," Tess said simply. "Did Sam give you the information on this one?"

"Yes, but, I don't know if I can do this Tess…" he began, his voice trailing off as he heard her interrupting.

"…You can do this Adam, the Father believes in you, or else He wouldn't have put you on the case, and for what it's worth, I believe in you too."

"Really, or are you just trying to persuade me to do this?" Adam objected. "I've heard the stories that have been going around about me. 'Adam has the compassion of a fish out of water', 'Adam isn't a good Angel of Death because he talks about dying as though it were a sketch from Monty Python.' Don't deny it, Tess, I've heard the stories, I know that I've always worked solo and tended to assignments one after the other. You think McDonalds has served a lot of people, I feel like I'm in the running for their service records." He sighed deeply and looked at Tess with utter hopelessness in his eyes. "You know, I've heard that the Father stopped sending me to children because the Archangels of Death were concerned that I was going to say something that would scare the kids." As he spoke, he stood up and was about to walk away, but before he could, Tess reached out and touched his shoulder.

"Wait a minute, Adam," she said, impatience evident in her voice. "If you would just stop your whining and listen, then maybe you'll notice that you're getting your halo in knots with all of this and there is no reason to. Now, the Father, the Almighty God, the One with perfect timing and all that was the One who said that you should do this case, so I don't want to hear any backtalk. Did you suddenly start doubting His belief in you? You have always been an angel who trusted in God's will, well, now God's will is for you to help that little girl."

"You don't understand, Tess, I…" Adam said softly, his voice trailing.

"No, you are the one who doesn't understand," she began and reached for his hand. "Adam, Did it ever occur to you that maybe you were given a chance at Casework because deep down inside, you have prayed for this chance and the Father heard those prayers and wanted to give you a chance?"

"I don't know, Tess," Adam said as he continued to fidget on the bench. "I mean; I'm an Angel of Death, not a Caseworker. I'm not like Andrew, even though he is one of my best friends, I can't just suddenly be like him." Adam used the exact same argument that he had used when he had spoken to Sam only ten minutes ago. He simply doubted his ability to even fulfill this particular assignment.

"Listen to me, Angel Boy," Tess said using the label that she often used when talking to Andrew. "You are a Caseworker now, at least for this case Adam, and that little baby is going to need an angel on her side before the smoke clears. She may be all right now, but in a couple of days, Andrew's going to be taking her daddy Home, and she's going to need the support that only you can provide. You may not believe me now, but in time you will. Just do your best with this assignment, Adam, that's all anyone can ask of you," Tess said gently.

Adam nodded reluctantly. Although, he knew that Tess meant business, he was trying to decipher who was more difficult for him to contend with, Sam and the utter sense of intimidation he experienced whenever the authoritative angel showed up, or Tess whenever she would cop her usual attitude. Sighing deeply, he stood up. "I guess I'd better get to my office then, because Deborah is going to be arriving very soon."

"I guess you'd better," Tess said matter-of-factly as Adam stood up and made his way towards the entrance to the park. "Father, I trust in you," she mumbled after he had disappeared, "but will this be helpful to the assignment? I just wonder if that little girl is going to be able to relate with a rough around the edges Angel of Death turned Caseworker."

When the answer came back, she nodded and thanked the Father before she got to her feet and began to walk with weighted steps towards the entrance.

*****

Ten minutes later, a winded Deborah arrived at the door to the advisor's office and she looked at the clock on the wall, which indicated that it was nearing a quarter to five. As she tried to catch her breath, she lightly knocked on the door, all the while trying to see in there was any light underneath the door that would be indicative that her advisor would be there. When no one opened the door, she backed away but not before seeing the name next to the door that read 'Adam Angelo', Professor of Music.

As she stared at the name she wondered all the while if he would be angry because she was nearly an hour late for the scheduled appointment. Maybe he has already left because he got annoyed with waiting for me to show up. Sighing sadly, she sat down on a nearby chair. It wasn't too long ago that she was making appointments and not having to dig around for excuses as to missing important meetings, but now she seemed, if anything, lost. All she could think about was her father, he was dying from a brain tumor, and whenever she thought about him, she would get tears in her eyes. I'm only 20, she often thought to herself, I'm not supposed to lose my dad now, but when she would open her eyes, this was the reality she seemed to be facing.

She wondered how much she would even be able to cope with during this term, simply because she was facing her father's inevitable death. She sighed sadly as she found a chair on the opposite side of the hall and slowly lowered herself into the seat.

After about five minutes of waiting, she suddenly heard footsteps at the other end of the hall. She kept her head down until a familiar sounding voice emerged and she looked up to see who was addressing her. "I see, we meet again," the deep masculine voice emerged in the stillness of the hallway.

"It's you, you're the man from the park, but what are you doing here?" She asked.

"I uh work here and that…well that's my office," Adam answered his voice more matter-of-fact than anything, but he remembered to offer the young woman a warm smile.

"You mean; you're my advisor?" Deborah asked looking at him somewhat surprised. "I-I thought I was the only one in the music school who spent time alone out in nature, I mean…I'm sorry I wasn't punctual…I uh…" her voice broke as she tried to speak and he could see that she was nervous.

Somehow, as he noticed her reactions, he realized just how accustomed he was to humans being nervous around him and instead of commenting on this, he dug in his pocket, pulled out a key chain, and proceeded to unlock the door.

"I guess the answer to your question is 'yes', I'm going to be your advisor," Adam said as he ran his hand across his bearded chin and turned around to face her. "Come on in."

Deborah nodded and followed him into the office. "I-I'm sorry that I wasn't here earlier, Professor Angelo, I-I've just had so much going on, that the meeting slipped my mind. I'm just going through some tough times right now, but I promise I won't be late again."

"I understand that sometimes things happen," he smiled gently at her. "Now, I suppose I should tell you that I have never been a faculty advisor before, so I'm going to do my best, but since you're new, and I'm new, why don't we get to know each other better?"

Her face paled and his eyes widened upon seeing her reaction. "I think I should just get my requirements and leave," she said coldly, and something in her language made Adam realize the mistake in his wording and how easily it could have been misinterpreted. Sighing deeply he attempted to rectify things.

"No, I wasn't implying anything," Adam began, but began to pray silently to himself, oh Father please help me. After a few seconds had passed, the words came to him and he looked across the desk and into the somewhat frightened green eyes of the student. "I meant, why don't you tell me your name and what area of music you're interested in?"

"Oh," Deborah's face flushed. "I'm sorry, Professor, I didn't mean to sound rude, I guess, I'm just a little paranoid because right before I transferred here, something happened to me, and now I'm just a little bit nervous around people."

"It's OK," he said and smiled weakly. "You don't have any reason to feel nervous around me, I wouldn't do anything to hurt anyone. I guess I'm just the type of angperson who is not really used to this job yet, and well, believe it or not, I'm also a little bit nervous."

She nodded and rather than comment further on his words, she offered him a small smile. "My name is Deborah Fitzgerald, but everyone calls me Deb."

"May I call you Deborah, or would you prefer Miss Fitzgerald?" Adam asked.

"Deb or Deborah," she said softly. "I'm not really used to being called Miss anything, Professor."

"OK, then I'll call you Deborah, but you can call me Adam, as I'm not really used to formalities either," he said. "I don't think you're used to me calling you Deb, though," he pointed to her hands, which were now clenching the arms of the chair, her knuckles now white. He looked down at the papers that were on the desk in front of him. "I see, it says here that your main instrument is the piano, with a special concentration on voice."

"Yeah."

"Well, then I suggest that you relax your hands a little bit, because I don't know too many white-knuckled pianists," Adam said wryly and to his surprise, she looked down at her hands, relaxed somewhat, but laughed softly.

"Sorry, but that was really funny, you know?" She asked once she had stopped and was able to look up at him. "I guess right now I'll take whatever jokes I can get."

"I don't think anyone's ever told me that," he said honestly. "Mostly people are annoyed whenever I try to make a joke."

"Really?" Deborah asked.

Adam nodded and smiled weakly as he recalled all those times when he had been in angelic company and one or more of his jokes would completely fall flat.

Deborah smiled weakly. "Yeah. Sometimes it's the only thing that keeps me from going mad or crying my eyes out."

"Why would you cry?"

"My life has not been easy, but you're not here to listen to my problems, let's just get the degree plan done and then you can go home," she said softly.

"Look, if you want to talk about something, I'll listen. I don't know how much I can, do, but Deborah, keep in mind, if there are some problems that are not school related, they might start to affect your studies in a negative way, and then it would involve this," he said and waved his hand over the paperwork that sat in front of him.

"I'll keep that in mind," she said softly, but no further words emerged.

"OK, that's all I could ask of you," Adam said as he once again picked up a pen and together, they worked out her degree plan.

*****

An hour later, Deborah left the office and Adam was still sitting at his desk, the paperwork now filed and packed away. He had taken the degree plan to the main office, but then returned to his office and sat down at the desk, his face resting in his hands as his elbows were against the desk. He released a pent up sigh, and closed his eyes for a moment.

"You're doing very well, Adam," Tess' voice.

"She won't talk to me," Adam said softly. "How can I help her if she won't talk to me?"

"Baby, you just be patient, that little girl will eventually come out of her shell, but don't expect this to happen overnight, she's been hurt by men in the past, and she's facing losing the most important man in her life, her daddy. Now, you just keep plugging away at it," Tess said as she rested a comforting hand on Adam's slumped shoulders.

"I'm not the right angel for this," Adam said softly.

"You are, baby, and you just have to start believing it," Tess said.

"How, Tess? How can I believe that I am capable of making a difference in her life?" Adam asked.

"You care for her, don't you?" Tess asked.

"I'm not supposed to, am I?" Adam objected.

"Says who? Do you think that Monica or Andrew didn't care about the assignments they have had? Take it from me, baby, I have seen Monica get completely torn inside out over assignments," Tess said.

Adam smiled slightly, but found himself unable to respond.

"Look, you are going to have to learn that even when all of this is over and you go back to being an Angel of Death, that you made a difference here with this assignment. It will be proof enough that you are capable of not only of serving the Father as His Angel of Death, but also that you can be His Angel of Life, and you have the ability to help those people live. It's not just about a title, baby, it's about you, and it's about learning that you are special in your own right."

"Oh Tess, I don't know if I can do this, I don't want to let the Father down," Adam said.

"Who said you would?" Tess asked gently. "Adam, we haven't worked very much together, but I can tell you this, you're doing a wonderful job with Deborah."

"I've made some mistakes already, Tess," Adam whispered.

"Do you not remember that there's only one perfect being in the universe, baby, and that's God, so don't you forget that," Tess said softly and with that, she was gone leaving him alone in the office. As he began to feel his stomach growling, he realized that he was hungry and got up to leave the small room.

*****

Three days later, Deborah arrived back at her dorm room after her last class of the day had let out. She was feeling rather well, but when she entered the small room, her roommate seemed to be waiting for her. "Deb, you need to call your mom."

"W-what happened, Christi?" Deborah looked at her roommate.

"I don't know, your mom just said that you should to call her immediately," Christi said softly and handed Deborah a piece of college ruled paper with a telephone number neatly written on it. As soon as she had given the message, Christi left the room and closed the door behind her leaving Deborah alone inside.

Deborah sat down on her bed and reached for the phone. As soon as she had dialed the number, she could hear her mother's voice on the other end.

"Hey, Mom, what's up?" Deborah asked as soon as her mother had greeted her.

"It's about your father, honey," Stephanie Fitzgerald told her daughter. "He passed away this afternoon at the hospital."

"No, that can't be true, you said that he was getting better," Deborah said softly.

"Well, he took a turn for the worse last night," her mother said. "I took him to County Central late last night and he was put on life support. After consulting with the doctors, they suggested that I take off life support, and told me what the options were. I made the choice and he died peacefully this afternoon."

Deborah looked as though someone had punched her in the stomach, and as she tried to keep her tears at bay, her voice emerged, all the while filled with the utmost grief and sorrow. "Mom, when can I fly back for the funeral?"

"There won't be a funeral, we've already talked about it with your father's siblings and decided to just have a memorial service over Thanksgiving," her mother replied. "That way all the family will be together, and people won't have to plan an extra trip here."

"No funeral?" Deborah asked, she just couldn't comprehend that her mother had made these kinds of decisions without talking to her about it. Now, she realized that she would be denied a real opportunity to say 'good-bye' to her father.

Deborah continued to listen to her mother's words, but her sadness was overwhelming and she just didn't care what her mother said. "Deborah, there's something else I need to tell you. Your father wanted to be cremated, and have his ashes strewn out in Yellowstone Park," Stephanie said. "That's why there won't be a funeral, and even if there was, we couldn't afford to pay for that and a plane ticket for you to come home now. We just dug into our savings to get you out to California in the first place. You've only been there a week, give it some time, and then when you come home for Thanksgiving then you can say a proper 'good-bye'."

"Great, so now you're deciding what I'm going to do and how I'm going to grieve," Deborah said softly.

"Honey, please don't make this more difficult than it already is. Just stay there, and we'll get you back for the memorial service over Thanksgiving, I promise," Stephanie said sadly.

"I guess I really do have no choice," Deborah said sadly. "As usual all my choices are being made for me."

"Listen, just try and calm down and see to reason, then we'll talk about this more, but now it's getting late and you really should go and eat dinner," Stephanie said. "I love you, honey, and I know it's hard, you and daddy were very close, but we will get through this, OK? Will you trust me, please?"

"Yeah, Mom, I know you're doing your best," Deborah found herself saying, but the tears streamed from beneath her eyes anyway, and instead of telling her mother that she had no appetite for dinner, she repeated that she loved her, and that she would call her during the coming weekend.

A few moments after her mother had hung up the phone, Deborah sat still holding the receiver in her hand, and eventually returned it to the cradle. She looked out the window, the sun was descending down over the trees and dusk had fallen, and all the while, she could not stop the tears as they flowed down over her unhappy face.

She grabbed her jacket and left the room. Behind her, Adam and Tess stood in angelic form. "Tess, what do I do now?"

"Follow her, she went to the auditorium at the music school," Tess said softly. "You'd better hurry, Adam, she's going to need you very soon."

Adam nodded as both angels disappeared.

*****

As Deborah reached the building for the music school, she walked slowly into the large auditorium. The room was empty except for one of the boys who seemed involved in practicing his guitar on the stage at the front of the room. As she came down the aisle, he looked up and smiled at her, his eyes somewhat glazed over and she reached the conclusion that he had been drinking alcohol because his chords were really bad, his style trying to imitate Jimmy Hendrix, and failing miserably.

"Hey baby, wanna make some beautiful music with me?" The boy drawled as he put his guitar on the stage, jumped down, and approached her, his movement more of a stagger than a walk.

"No," Deborah whispered. "I want to be left alone."

"Oh come on honey, we can play some really great music," the boy smiled wickedly at her and reached over to touch her shoulder.

"Just leave me alone, OK?" she spoke all the while backing away from him in the hopes that he will not come any closer to her.

What she didn't expect was to feel his hand grab hold of her shoulder and squeeze tightly. As she struggled to free herself, the grip tightened and she could feel his uneven fingernails digging into the flesh beneath her sweater. As she tried to struggle against his hold, she could see that he was trying to close the space between them and she tried unsuccessfully to back away from him. When she felt his hand now at the back of her neck, she could feel that he was trying to move her face closer to his mouth so that he could kiss her. This frightened her all the more and she tried to struggle against his hold all the while hoping that he would loose his footing, stumble and enable her to wrench herself free.

"Let me go," she cried out as the boy's mouth was only inches from her own and she could smell the musty stench of stale beer on his breath.

"You heard her, let her go, now," Adam's voice emerged and the young man looked up to see the angel standing not too far away.

"You gonna make me," the boy slurred just before he captured Deborah's lips in a wet and unsanitary kiss.

At that moment, Adam intervened and separated them. As the angel regarded the intoxicated man, his gray eyes were filled with sadness, but he continued to stare intently at the youth. After a few moments, the young man became intimidated, backed away from them, and left.

Deborah, in the meantime sat down in one of the theater style chairs and began to cry, all the while she tried to wipe away the remnants of the distasteful kiss.

"It's OK, Deborah, he's gone," Adam said softly as he reached into his pocket, pulled out a cloth handkerchief, and pressed it gently into her shaking hand.

"T-thank you," she managed to speak but the tears were still streaming down her face and she was trembling.

Adam sat down in the neighboring seat and rested his hand gently on her shoulder. "Are you OK?"

She nodded numbly, but then when she looked up and could see his eyes filled with understanding, she shook her head. "I-I c-came here to play something f-for my dad."

"Deborah, talk to me, tell me what's happened?" Adam cajoled.

"Nothing, I-I just didn't know that that guy was going to be in here," she said, her words quavering. "I-it was like before w-when…" her words died off and she looked up at him. "I didn't want to trust you, b-but you helped me get away from him."

He put a comforting arm around her shoulder and drew her into his embrace; her head now resting against his shoulder. "Shhh, don't try to speak, just let it out," he whispered. "You've been through something rather traumatic tonight, so you need to cry a little, don't you?"

Deborah looked up at him from his arms. "I'm s-so scared. W-what if he comes back?"

"I don't think he will, besides, if he does, he'll have to contend with me," Adam said gently and smiled weakly. "Do you honestly think that I'm going to take off and leave you all alone here? I think right now what you need the most is a friend."

Deborah nodded and closed her eyes for a moment, almost feeling as though her father was holding her. The feeling comforted her, and she shook her head sadly. "Everything is so weird, Adam, it's hard. I don't know who I can talk to, who I can trust."

"I know, I can tell by looking at you that you need to be able to talk to someone," He paused. "Listen, I know I frightened you the other day, when I said something about getting to know each other. I didn't realize what those words could have implied or meant, and I know they scared you, a-and I'm sorry for that. Tonight just showed me why they did." He shrugged his shoulders as he looked out across the empty auditorium. "I suppose you think now that I'm a lousy advisor who can't even get his words straight."

"No, I-I don't think that at all," she said sadly. "But, y-you're a better friend than you are advisor."

"Thank you, Deborah," Adam said softly. "Do you feel at least a little bit better?"

"I wish I could say 'yes', but right now, I'm so frightened and I feel so alone here. I started classes this week here, and…"

"I think I understand, you've been so strong for so long that now you need to allow yourself to feel the extent of your feelings. You know even when you think you're handling things OK, sometimes one thing happens and you suddenly feel as though you're falling," he said gently.

As the tears rolled down her cheeks she found herself breaking down. "Adam, do you remember the other day when you asked me to talk to you, and you said that you'd listen to me?"

"Yes," he said gently. "I remember."

"Well, is that offer still good?" She asked weakly as she felt the tears continuing to fall from beneath her eyes. "I-I really need a friend right now, and I don't know if there's anyone here who I can turn to."

"Of course, you can tell me anything you want, Deborah," he said.

"M-my dad was diagnosed with a brain tumor back in January and today I found out that he…" her voice trailed off and she took a deep breath, the tears still sliding down over her cheeks. "M-my mom called when I was in class and she said left a message with my roommate. I came back and called her and she said that h-he died this afternoon."

"That's why you were missing appointments and running late all the time, wasn't it?" he asked gently. "You were so worried about him, that you lost yourself in all of this. I'm sorry, Deborah."

She sniffed but looked up at him and nodded. "Y-yeah, it was so hard to hear this and my dad was always there for me. I mean; he would hold me when I was sad, and he would talk to me about music and stuff. He and I would go to the cinema and we would eat a huge tub of popcorn while we would watch old movies…" her voice trailed off and she looked at him. "I feel so lost without my dad."

Adam brushed his hand gently through her hair and could feel the tears of the young woman on his shoulder where her head now rested. "I'm so sorry."

"It just hurts so much, like a part of me is gone, like it died along with him," she said sadly. "Then I came here tonight for some solace, and that creepy guy was here and he kissed me, and if you hadn't have come..." She shook her head quickly trying to block the images of this event from her consciousness.

"I wish I had gotten here sooner," Adam said softly as he looked at her.

"I-I think you came at just the right moment," Deborah said softly as she looked at him, her eyes filled with grief. "I just wish I knew what to do, it's hurts so much."

"You know, one day the pain will fade, and you'll remember all those times when you and your dad were together. I know that it will take some time for you to heal, but you will, you just need to take some time off from all of this; maybe go home and say a proper 'good-bye'. Give yourself a chance to get over this."

"I can't do that, Adam," she whispered.

"Why not?"

"My mom, she told me not to. I'm on financial aid as it is, and my family can't afford for me to fly home," Deborah began to weep; her voice emerging through her tears. "I asked her tonight if I could, b-but she said 'no', and I feel like I can't even say 'good-bye' to my dad."

"You can, always speak to him, just as you do when you pray," he said.

"Pray? Pray to what?"

"To God," Adam said gently.

"My family doesn't believe in God, Adam, I grew up atheist," she said softly.

The angel sighed deeply, but glanced around and could see that Tess was standing in angelic form watching them. He shook his head sadly, but began to speak. "You don't believe in God?"

"No, I was always told that God was just something like a myth," she said softly.

"What do you think happens when someone dies, Deborah?" Adam asked gently hoping all the while that his question would not upset her any more than she already was.

"I-I don't know, that's just it, I don't know what happens, I don't know if there's an afterlife or if it's just darkness," she looked up at him. "I wish I could understand."

Adam smiled weakly as he looked down at the young woman.

"Don't you dare tell her yet," Tess said, all the while in angelic form and not seen by the young distraught human. "She's not ready."

Adam shook his head. When will she be ready, Tess? His thoughts went immediately to his supervisor.

"She's going to need some more time, Angel Boy," Tess said simply and disappeared.

Adam nodded weakly, but as he looked down at her, something told him that he would have to wait awhile before Deborah would be ready to hear the truth.

The confused Angel of Death turned Caseworker remained with the young woman until she left for home, and as soon as she was gone, he glanced skyward. "Father, please, tell me what to do. I'm at a loss now."

"I took her father Home today," Andrew appeared and spoke, his voice soft.

"I know, Tess told me," Adam said. "Andrew, you've had experience with this, what should I do? I don't know what to do, I don't even know what to say to her when I see her again, this is so hard."

"You know, you're doing what you should be doing, Adam," Andrew said softly. "Sometimes these cases are hard, sometimes they bring out the most pain and most heartache for an angel to deal with. That's why you're here, I mean; as an Angel of Death, you saw some of the worst kind of suffering that existed, and through it you developed a harsh humor about it. But, there was more, Adam, there was the pain that death left for the families of those we take Home. You have seen this first hand, with Deborah. She's a bit lost, but now she's starting to trust you, and she knows that because you defended her tonight, that you won't hurt her."

"How do I do this? I'm not a Caseworker, I'm never going to be as compassionate or as understanding as you are," Adam said softly.

"Nobody expects you to be anything other than who you are, Adam," Tess once again appeared and she spoke her voice gentle. "Can't you get that into your head? You've been like a dog chasing his tail since this assignment started, but don't you see? There is a girl who needs a friend, she needs an angel, and she's got one; she's got you, and the Father knows that you and her share a bond that is rather strong."

"Listen Adam, Sam's told you, Tess has told you, and now I'm telling you, you're handling this case in the same way as just about any Caseworker would," Andrew said. "The Father gave you this sense of humor, just like he gave Tess her gift of music and Monica a truthful heart. Somewhere out there is a human being who will relate to that humor you have, and even if you don't find it in angelic company, you will most likely find it in the company of human beings."

Adam sighed deeply and looked at Andrew, sadness shadowing his gray eyes. "Andrew, I want to do what's right, I mean; I care about her. She seems so lost."

"She is lost, Angel Boy," Tess' voice emerged causing him to look up. "She grew up in a family that did not believe or accept God, and now she needs Him more than anything else in the world. It will be through God that she will find healing, but she doesn't know how to approach Him. That's why I told you not to reveal yourself as an angel just yet. There's going to be more for her to understand before she will be able to accept the words of truth, but you will eventually reach her."

Adam nodded and looked over in the direction of where the exit was. "What was once lost can be found, huh?"

"Yes, baby, and now that Andrew has returned, you're going to get a little bit of extra back-up."

"Thank you," Adam said smiling weakly. "Something tells me I'm going to need it."

*****

Adam did not see Deborah for the next three weeks, and he was worried. Although he went about business as usual, he wondered almost constantly where she was, or how she was doing. In desperation, he finally dug out her file and discovered that she lived on campus.

After thinking about this predicament for some time, he decided to go over to the dormitory and see if he could find her. He had not seen her in the class he taught since the night at the auditorium when he had succeeded in getting her to speak about her father. Today, his concern was turning into intense worry.

As he was leaving his office and walking in the direction of the elevators, he could see that Andrew was coming in the opposite direction, the look on the face of his friend earnest and very grave. Before he could greet his friend, Andrew spoke, his voice filled with compassion. "Adam, we need to talk."

"W-what is it, Andrew?" Adam asked noticing that his friend was dressed 'officially' in his dove gray suit, and the color suddenly faded from his face as he regarded his friend.

"It's about Deborah," Andrew said softly. "Adam, she nearly overdosed on painkillers, and I don't know if she intentionally tried to kill herself, but her roommate found her, and she was taken to the hospital."

"W-when did this happen?" Adam looked at his friend, horror shadowing his face.

"Last night, Adam, I think she had been feeling lost for too long, it's like she's completely lost all hope," Andrew said sadly. "She's in a coma now, and the doctor said that it looks as though she has no will left to live."

"I was going to go see her today, I have been so worried about her," Adam said softly, the tears beginning to stream from beneath his eyes. "I wanted to let her know that she's not alone. Andrew, I failed."

"No, you didn't, Deborah had free will, and she's going to need you after all of this."

"Me? No, she's better off without me. This was a mistake sending me here and trying to make me into a Caseworker. I'm not a Caseworker, Andrew. Nobody saw it, and now this beautiful young woman lays in a coma and it's all my fault. What kind of angel am I anyway?"

"You're a good angel, Adam, and you know perfectly well that Deborah had free will, and you cannot control what she did," Andrew said.

"What should I do now?"

"Don't try to be a Caseworker, Adam, be a friend, and go see Deborah. Tell her everything, if that will make you feel better, tell her what you are, and how you feel about her as a person. Try to look at her as you think God would see her; as precious and beautiful," Andrew said. "You have a good heart, my friend, now's the time to show that part of yourself to others."

Adam wiped the tears from his eyes and nodded as he walked towards the now open elevator and rode it down to the first floor. "Father, please help her find the courage to live. Let her know that I'm coming and I hope I'm not too late."

*****

Twenty minutes later, Adam walked slowly into a hospital room and walked towards the chair, which was next to the bed. His eyes were filled with sadness as he regarded the young woman who was lying on top of the intimidating looking hospital bed. He placed a vase of flowers on the nearby dresser and sat down next to the bed and reached for her cold hand.

"Deborah, it's me, Adam," he said softly. "I-I think you can hear me, and I want to apologize to you."

Deborah remained asleep on the bed and Adam closed his eyes as he started to pray for his friend all the while, he held tightly to her hand. "Please Father, let her be OK, let her know that you love her, that she is special and needed here. I have never allowed myself to feel connected to anyone, and now that you have made me human, and a Caseworker, my connection to her is very strong. I want to help her, not just because she's my assignment, but because I truly do care for her."

As he prayed, he did not notice that Deborah's eyes had opened slowly and she turned her head only slightly to see him close to tears next to her bed. "AAdam," her voice emerged as more or less a sigh, but it caused him to stop speaking and he slowly opened his eyes and looked down at her. Right then, the doctor came into the room to see how she was doing and Adam was asked to leave for a few minutes while they did the necessary checks on her.

Once Adam was allowed back inside the room, he sat back down in the chair and looked down at her. "I'm so glad you're awake. How are you doing, Deborah?" He asked weakly.

"I…." her voice died and she reached a trembling hand out to him. He took the offered hand in his and held it tightly feeling the coolness of her skin against his own.

"It's OK, you don't have to speak right now, it's not necessary," Adam said and smiled gently at her.

"Y-you…" her voice once again trailed off and she licked her dry lips.

"Shhh, it's OK," he smiled gently at her as he reached over with his free hand and brushed her hair out from in front of her eyes.

"I'm so lost," she whispered as the tears streamed down her cheeks.

"No, not lost, but even then, did you know that what sometimes feels lost can also be found?" Adam asked gently.

"But, Adam I am lost, my dad's gone, and I'm alone here," she could feel the tears as they tumbled down over her cheeks, and she tried without any success to wipe them from beneath her sorrow-filled eyes.

"You know, I wish I had known just how hard everything has been for you," he whispered softly. "I should have told you the truth three weeks ago, but I didn't, and now I realize that that was a mistake, because now you're here in this hospital bed. Oh, Deborah, please forgive me for not having known and not having told you the truth."

"F-forgive you, b-but why?" She asked, her voice emerging hoarse.

"Because, three weeks ago, I wanted to tell you everything. I wanted to tell you that I'm not really a professor of music, I'm an angel."

"An angel?" She looked up at him, her eyes wide.

"Yes, and I wanted to tell you that no matter what you believe, whether in God or not; He does love you, Deborah, and He wants to be there for you," Adam said softly, the tears falling from beneath his sad gray eyes and he released one of her hands in order to wipe the moisture away.

"You're an angel?" She repeated those three words, her voice filled with shock and surprise.

"Yes," Adam spoke gently as he began to glow, the light of God's love surrounding him, as well as filling the room. When he looked down at her, he could see that she was regarding him with the most intense fear. "Please, Deborah, don't be afraid, I wouldn't hurt you, I think you know that."

"Honestly?" She managed to speak.

"Yes, sweetheart, honestly," Adam said softly and nodded his head slowly.

"T-then the stories I heard about God as a little girl are true?" As she spoke she could feel the tears spilling down over her face. "They were all true."

"Yes, they are true," Adam said and he once again reached for her trembling hand.

"H-He must really hate me now, I mean; I denied His existence and now my dad is…" her voice trailed off as the tears streamed down over her face. As the emotions got the better of her, she began to cry even harder, her voice emerging in hiccup like sobs. "I-I'm so sorry."

"Shhh, it's OK," Adam said gently, his voice filled with his loving assurances. "God loves you, Deborah. He made you this beautiful young woman with all this musical talent and potential. Please believe me when I tell you that He would never ever hate you, that's why He sent you an angel, sweetheart."

As he spoke, Deborah could feel herself being drawn into Adam's warm embrace, and as she felt his arms around her, she literally collapsed there, the tears streaming from beneath her sorrow-filled eyes. "D-does H-He forgive me?"

"Yes, He does, and He did long before you even asked that question," Adam said gently as he brushed his hand against her hair, but eventually moved his hand to wipe the tears away which streamed from beneath her eyes.

They sat for some moments in silence until she spoke, her words breaking the silence as she could see him still glowing, the radiance of this light indescribable. "Y-You're so beautiful," she said softly, her voice cracking, but she held tightly to him in the hopes that he would not simply disappear.

"Thank you for helping me see that," he said gently.

"How could I help an angel see that he's beautiful?" Deborah asked weakly, her eyes filled with sadness and when she looked up she could see a similar sadness that dwelled in the deep recesses of his eyes and although he was still glowing, she could see a sense of despondency about him. This was something that they both seemed to share, and at that moment their embrace loosened.

"I don't know how, but you did," Adam said softly and he smiled weakly at her.

She shook her head and looked over towards the window, and then back over at him. "Adam, will you stay here with me?" She asked weakly. "I don't know why, but I feel better just knowing someone is here and they care."

"What about your family?"

"They don't know what I did, and they wouldn't be able to come see me anyway. Since my dad got sick, we couldn't afford to make too many trips," she said softly.

"I'll stay, but tell me why did you try to end your life?" Adam asked.

"I don't know," she whispered.

"Yes, you do, deep down inside, you know why you wanted to do this. I think you wanted the pain to end or the hurting to stop. You never said 'good-bye' to your father, and you felt so lost after you learned that he had died," Adam said. "But you can speak to your father, even if there's no funeral, even if you think that maybe you're lost and wandering, you can always talk to him. He will hear your voice and he will find a way to answer, even if it emerges as music or the sounds of a cricket on a field during an early spring morning."

"But, you said it was like a prayer, and I've never prayed before in my life. I don't even know how to pray," Deborah said softly. "If I do say something, how will I know that God or my father will even hear me?"

"It's faith, sweetheart, it's just believing that they do, and I can promise you that they will, they will both hear you," Adam said gently.

"W-would you help me?" She asked as she sat up in the bed and extended her hand to her friend.

"Yes," Adam took her extended hand and smiled gently at her. "I'll help you, that's why I'm here."

"W-what do I do?"

"Close your eyes," Adam said gently. Once she did as he instructed, he continued. "Now, just talk to God, as though you are talking to me about how you feel."

Deborah nodded and began to speak, her voice shaking and filled with so much uncertainty. "Are you t-there?"

"He's listening, Deborah, keep going," Adam said softly.

The young woman nodded and swallowed the ever-present lump that had formed in her throat. As she began to speak, her voice emerged filled with sadness as well as grief. "I wanted to s-say that I n-need you so much. I m-met your angel, Adam, and he helped me to believe in you and to know that y-you exist. I'm so sorry that I didn't believe in you before, a-and I want to now, not just because my dad is not here anymore, but because I feel so lost and I don't know what I should do or where my life is going. Please God, help me." As her voice faded, she began to weep, and could feel the pressure from Adam's hand against her own, and he was squeezing it reassuringly.

After a few moments, Adam closed his eyes and began to speak, the tears streaming down his cheeks, but his words were audible. "Father, we sit here together, your child Deborah, and your angel, Adam. I know now why I was sent to this special young woman, and I thank you so much for giving me the chance to help her. I have been honored in bringing your children Home, but now I feel special because I was able to help Deborah find her way to you. Oh, Father, please forgive me for doubting that I am capable of doing this kind of work."

When he stopped speaking, they sat in companionable silence for some moments, and then almost simultaneously, they opened their eyes and Deborah looked over at him. "Adam, can I ask you a question?"

He nodded.

"What kind of work do you usually do?" She asked weakly.

"I'm anan Angel of Death, Deborah," Adam said softly. "I escort people home to God when their lives here on Earth are through."

"Then that means, y-you were with my daddy when he died?"

"No, Adam wasn't with your father, Deborah, I was," Andrew's voice emerged and she looked up to see the younger of the two angels in the hospital room. "My name is Andrew, and I'm an Angel of Death, just like Adam."

She rubbed her eyes to see if she was actually seeing him, and when she realized that she was, in fact, seeing him standing there; somewhere deep inside of herself, she found the courage to speak. "Y-you took my father away?"

"I took him Home to God, Deborah," Andrew said softly as he approached the bed and sat down in an empty chair.

"H-he didn't believe in God," she whispered.

"I know, but your father did go Home to God, and the Father in Heaven embraced him as He does with all of His children," Andrew said softly.

Deborah listened to these words and then after a few moments, she looked at Adam her action of just looking to him was an indication that she wanted him to confirm or deny what Andrew had just said.

"It's the truth," Adam said gently. "Your father is in Heaven, Deborah."

"Then Heaven really exists, like God exists?"

Andrew nodded. "Yes, they both exist, and your father knows now that God loves him, just as He loves you very much. But, your dad knows that you've been very sad about his passing, but he wants me to tell you that he is happy now, and he knows that you wanted to come and say 'good-bye', and he understands why you couldn't. He also asked me to come back here and tell you that 'Imagine' was always his favorite song to hear you play."

"H-he does, I mean; he did?" Deborah smiled weakly as she heard this. "You know, you must be telling the truth, because no one else knows about the significance of that song."

"Yes, and one day, you will see him again, but not for a long time," Andrew said softly. "You just take good care of yourself, Deborah, and let God help you heal."

"OK," she said softly as the angel stood up and quietly left the room.

Once Andrew was gone, she looked at Adam. "An Angel of Death, huh?"

"Mm-hum?" Adam nodded.

"Why did you get sent hereto me?" She asked.

"You know, at the time, I didn't really know why, but I'm so glad that I was," Adam said softly. "I haven't had too many assignments who…" his words trailed off and he shrugged his shoulders.

"…Lived?" She asked finishing his sentence and cracking a small smile.

Adam nodded. "I guess you could say that. Usually, if I am sent to be on stand-by, then it's just because it's standard procedure, but I never really got a chance to make friends. I worked solo. I would listen to the Archangels of Death and then go where I was needed, but it's hard because there was not any chance for me to make real friends."

She shrugged her shoulders and looked up at him. "Are you trying to tell me in a fancy way that you're lonely, Adam?"

He looked at her and after a few moments, he nodded slowly. "Yes, Deborah, that's probably a good way of putting it."

"Then you should call me Deb, and know this, Adam. It doesn't matter to me what kind of angel you are, I want you to know, that you're my friend, and that it feels nice to know that God cared enough about me to send you here." As she spoke, some more tears fell and she smiled up at him. "Just promise me one thing, OK?"

"What's that?" He asked gently.

"That you won't forget me, because I don't think I will ever forget you," she said softly.

"No, Deb, I won't ever forget you," he smiled gently at her as he leaned down and kissed her forehead. As she felt his beard against her skin she giggled causing him to look up. "What?"

"Nothing, it's just that your beard tickles," she smiled weakly and he began to chuckle.

*****

Deborah was released from the hospital three days later, and after going through a psychological exam to see if she would have to be put on a suicide watch, the doctors concluded that she was OK and that she would be able to return to school.

As she came outside of the hospital, Adam greeted her, this time his eyes were bright and filled with joy, something that he had a new sense of since he and Deborah had spoken about every topic under the sun, including the angel's feelings about the assignment and how her being in the hospital had affected him.

"Hey, Adam," she called as she approached where he was standing next to Andrew and Tess.

"Hello Deb," he smiled at her. "You going to be OK, or should we get you back to the university?"

"I think I'll make it OK it's not very far to walk, besides, I'm never alone, right?" she smiled weakly as he nodded. "I know that you're only a thought away, just like God is, and my dad, but I'm really going to miss you and for me, this is just like another sad 'good-bye'."

Adam nodded and smiled gently at her. "You're going to do wonderfully, I just know it."

"Maybe, but can I ask you another favor? I mean; I know I have asked so much of you up till now, but this is really important to me," she said softly and looked at the other two angels apologetically. "It's a secret, though."

Adam walked over to her and crouched down a little so she could whisper in his ear. Moments passed and he nodded, gave her a big bear hug, and after a few seconds, he returned to his friends.

Deborah waved one last time and she walked slowly away. As she made her way across the parking lot, she could see that her mother was there and she was waiting for her. In surprise, she turned back around to see if Adam and his friends were still there, but she noticed that they were gone and she turned back around and continued walking in the direction of where her mother was standing.

"What are you doing here?" She asked once she reached the rental car Stephanie was leaning up against.

"A lady named Tess called me three nights ago and she told me that you were here, so I flew out to see how you were doing," Stephanie said softly. "I was wrong about a lot of things, and I realized that saying 'good-bye' is more important than waiting for two months to go by without it."

"Thanks, Mom," Deborah said softly. "I'm glad you're here, because there's something really important I need to talk to you about."

"What is that?"

"Dad was wrong about God, He does exist and He loves us," Deborah said smiling as a dove took the flight and flew through the trees only to disappear in the distance.

*****

Back at the hospital parking lot, Adam, Andrew, and Tess were still standing in the parking lot, the three of them in angelic form. "Adam, you did good work, baby," Tess said smiling as she watched as the mother and daughter were getting into a car.

"God does good work," Adam said softly. "I guess that's why I met Deb, because I had forgotten."

"You did very well, Adam," Sam said gently as he appeared next the group. "All of you did well with your parts of this assignment. Now then, Adam we have some business to attend to. You've accomplished this assignment very well, so the Father has informed me that if you would like to do Casework now and again between your regular assignments, than you may."

"I get to go back to my old job now?" Adam asked smiling broadly.

"Yes, but you have to tell us, what did Deborah say to you before she left?" Sam asked, his coal black eyes twinkling.

"She asked me," Adam began, his voice faltering. "She told me that she wanted me to come back and visit her whenever I get some time off."

"That's really nice baby," Tess said and she patted Adam's shoulder gently. "Now, you can let go of this old idea that says that you are not capable of making a difference to people, because there is one young woman whom you have truly made a difference to."

Sam nodded and smiled at the three of them before disappearing.

Once hew as gone, Adam looked at Andrew and Tess. "You know, I feel like celebrating, what's say we go and get a ginger ale before my tentative 4:47?"

Tess smiled weakly. "Adam, some things with you will never change, do you know that?"

Andrew squeezed his friend's shoulder and laughed out loud. "We won't hope that Adam would change too much, right Tess? Because then he would stop being Adam, and that would not be a good thing to have happen."

"Right, Angel Boy," Tess said smiling at Andrew. "Now, then Adam, where would you like to go and have that ginger ale?"

The End…