to Go Before I Sleep"
A review by Jenni:
Yay!!! A post Season 4 episode!!! Yay
Hallmark!!! Since I recently watched this episode whilst
experimenting with my DVD recorder, I'm reviewing as I
watch. But since it's been years and years since I saw most
of Season 5, I likely won't be doing that too often. So this
may be the last episode review for a while til I get around to
re-re-watching Season 5. :-) Well, and review that S4
What I love about this episode:
Someone should keep track of how many superlatives I use in
this. I'm just so psyched to be watching Season 5!!!
I really love Monica's lavender shrug. And that's massively
important to the episode. ;-)
I really like the nurses and caregivers in this. They have
their issues (naivete, gruffness, and, obviously, impersonating an
AOD) but you can tell they really care about their patients.
I like how Rita says she sees love when Monica lights up as
opposed to just an angel like she did with Arthur.
For some completely inappropriate reason I burst into laughter
when Arthur yelled "I could have killed you, Andrew!" I
needed that laugh... as inappropriate as it was. I guess
maybe it was funny just cause 1. I know Arthur couldn't and 2.
Andrew is just so blasé about it.
I kinda think, even though I don't especially love this episode,
it's a good one for me to watch right about now. Andrew's
talk with Arthur on the road is really hitting me. I don't
think my soul is dying like Arthur's but maybe not 100%
well. I just feel like something's been lost and
broken. Cept, unlike Arthur, I have no idea what or who that
is. But good to hear that God will bind it all together...
I love that Andrew is silently there with Arthur when he's talking
to his mother. And only there for Arthur.
What I didn't love about
Holy freaking cow... Tess needs to chill out when she goes
off about Andrew not getting an assignment from Mr.
Richards. I highly doubt Andrew was
gonna go build an altar to Mr. Richards or start selling "We Trust
in Mr. Richards" bumper stickers. Also, it kinda annoys me
that Tess keeps referring to Mr. Richards as dead to Monica and
Andrew. Isn't the point that Andrew brings the assignment to
Heaven aka eternal life? Slinging the words "the dead Mr.
Richards" around just seems counterproductive.
Sometimes TBAA kinda irks me with its semantics. There's
nothing wrong with believing in angels and no need to stress that
a person believes there are angels instead. Believing in
something isn't the same as worshiping them. I believe in my
loved ones. Why wouldn't I believe in angels? Course,
the bratty part of me that keeps flashing back to "The Journalist"
wants to inform Monica that I don't believe in her. Roar!
I'm confused... How could Rita having
cancer have anything to do with a boy becoming some great leader
or whatever? That doesn't make sense. Why would Arthur
go with that? The dead husband angle makes more sense, wrong
as it is. I guess maybe that part was to give some meaning
to her suffering? I guess I'm a lil confused on what
Arthur's purpose was.
How come I never see candy stripers dressed in literal stripes
except when I'm watching TV? Is that just a cliché now
and not real?
I can relate to Arthur feeling like he needs to be there for
people, helping them. But I can never get an easy answer to
this question: at what point do you crossover from being a
compassionate, giving person to a doormat drained by energy
Does anyone know what songs Hallmark uses for its promos for TBAA?
that made me feel swoony:
Season 5 Andrew!!! Hello, old friend!!! Even with that
super short hair, he's still way cute. And I'm glad
sometimes his job is easier. Yay, people like Mr.
Must not get angsty about Mr. Richards' comment about it being
"tough to be the last one to go." No thinking about Andrew
in Dyeland! NO!!!
Andrew's face is super cute when he makes his promise to Mr.
That lil bow to Tess is way cute... Okay, seriously, is it
just me or does he not have an abundance of adorable lil smiles in
this? Maybe I'm just noticing more cause I've twice had
cruddy/sad dreams about poor Andrew this week... plus, it's Season
He's such a good sport when John psychs him out, acting like he
doesn't know about the tumor.
Gah... He totally chokes up after John tries to get him to
record his good bye to his baby. And then he yells. As
much as I love sweet, gentle Andrew... kinda have a thing for
tough love Andrew, too.
Something disturbs me about Andrew walking up and asking Monica to
tell him something good. Who was there to til him good
things after the finale?!?! AHHH!!! Angst go away!!!
Gotta say... I think Andrew looks better in his turquoise scrubs
than the suit. Suits are just... they don't seem very
cuddly. Plus, turquoise is an awesome color for him.
In fact, I shall use it for this background.
I love how affectionate Andrew is with people. And easy with
it. He doesn't seem to feel awkward about putting his arm
around someone's shoulder or patting their hand. Sigh...
I wish Andrew had been with me when I had a brain scan...
Okay, maybe I don't. My hair got majorly messed up.
No, I definitely wish he'd been there. He wouldn't have
minded my marked up hair. Come to think of it, I think I
wore my TBAA ball cap that day to cover it up. That mighta
Andrew makes the same sorta expression I do when people start
kissing and I don't know what to do. I mean, really, what is
the proper response? Staring is bad. But ya don't
wanna seem totally uncomfortable...
During the running down the stairwell after Arthur scene I keep
expecting Andrew to pull a Vincent and just jump down to a lower
level of stairs and land right in front of Arthur. Woulda
been fun... and weird. Especially if he'd growled.
Scenes Hallmark cut:
-I actually didn't notice anything. Should probly rewatch
both versions eventually. I went weeks in between viewings
so it was hard to tell.
And further on down the road...:
I love what Mr. Richards
says about how being the last one to go means there will be a
bigger welcoming party in Heaven. I'd hate to be the last to
go but thinking of that party would help.
Tess' inexplicably bad attitude at the start still really bothers
me. Not sure why they wanted to start the character out for
the season so nastily. That she then gets snarky about the
head nurse's bad attitude makes the phrase "the pot calling the
kettle black" come to mind...
"Faith is pretty hard to beat. With faith you can get
through anything." I love that quote from Andrew to
John. I must not have been noting quotes when I first did
"You know, John, I believe in miracles. I've seen
miracles. But sometimes miracles don't look the way we
expect them to." Another great Andrew quote.
"God loves all His children and when they suffer He weeps."
A Monica quote. I believe that. I don't believe God
would ever get lost in His grief as we humans sometimes do.
But I believe our suffering does move Him.
I like it when Andrew gets hung up after John asks him how he
knows angels don't have wings. Andrew, ya walked right into
that one, buddy!
I wonder if any of the cast or crew laughed at the irony of Andrew
asking who would pretend to be an angel when they were really a
human. :-) Of course, I know acting is different from
pretending but still.
I also love Monica's quote about how you don't have to do anything
to gain God's love... just accept it.
"God does not trade one life for another life. And, yes,
miracles do happen and we should always be expecting them.
And people should never hurry up and die." It's like a
parade of wisdom! Three great sentences all in a row.
That being said...
The last line makes me think. I'm not in a hurry to die
really. But I do sometimes feel like I'm just kinda doing
what I have to do but looking forward to Heaven like one would
with vacation... sometimes to the extent that it takes you out of
the moment. Not sure if that's bad.
When Andrew says the line to Arthur about twisting around the
truth, I think about "The Journalist" every time. John used
the same phrase and a very similar expression there. His
voice and expressions are extraordinary in both episodes.
I really like that translation of Ezekiel 34:16. I've been
trying to read the whole Bible but got stuck in Ezekiel.
Guess I need to get back to it.
"You don't give up hope and you *fight* for life and, one way or
another, God will make sure that you receive it." Andrew
again to John. Love it. Can't believe I didn't note
all these the first time!
"Miracles are happening every day!" One for Tess.
In closing, I would say that I get more out of this episode now
than when I first wrote the review in Autumn 2009. Since
then, five people I cared about have passed away and so I can
relate a whole lot more to the uncertainty of life and the
struggle to go on when carrying grief and guilt. This makes
me really look forward to seeing other S5 episodes again.
Then onto S6!
the Episode Guide
photographs used on this page are from "Touched by an Angel" and
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Productions. They are not being used to seek profit.)