An Email Account of Dye Day 2006 in Dyeland



From: Andrew

Date: Sunday, January 15, 2006 5:26 PM
To: J. Cutler
CC: AdamCop, Virgil, Hockenbury, B. Morgan, T. Barrett
Subject: John’s birthday

Hello Jeff, Adam, Virgil, Doc Hock, Bill, and Todd,

As I’m sure you remember, John’s birthday is quickly approaching.  This year is my year to organize the gift delivery.  If you plan on purchasing a gift for our esteemed portrayer, please have it to me no later than 6 PM on January 31st at my house in Dyeland.  I will deliver them to him that evening.  If I’m not there Lady JenniAnn has said she will collect the presents over at Willowveil and keep them until I return.  Please forward this message along to any of the other guys if you’re aware of their email addresses.  However, please do NOT inform Mr. Manion of any of this.  He showed up in Dyeland on Sadie Hawkin’s Day and caused trouble.  I really don’t want to upset the ladies by having him around here.  Thank you and hope to see you soon.  I hope each of you is doing very well.  

Your friend,
Andrew



From: The Toddster
Date: Thursday, January 16, 2006 6:17 AM
To: Andrew
CC: AdamAngel
Subject: Re: John’s birthday

Hey there Andrew and Adam!

I was psyched to see your email!  Hey do you suppose there’s any chance any of the girls there might be interested in doing a tasteful, artistic calendar for John’s birthday?  I think it would be a nice, personal gift for him.  What do you think?
And have you thought any more about the idea I told you two about?  Surely you could find 10 other angels as good-looking as yourselves!  I’m telling you, that calendar would sell like ice cream on a 100 degree day!  Think about it, the jaded anti-men women would buy it because you’re angels and hence out of their derision.  And the regular women would be impressed!  So???

Todd Barrett
CEO of Todd Barrett Enterprises



From: Adam
Date: Thursday, January 16, 2006 12:32 PM
To: Andrew
Subject: Re: The Toddster- Is he for real???

Greetings fellow potential beefcake,
First, I think I would like to formally change my name to The Adamster.  “Hello, I am an angel sent by God to tell you He loves you and it’s time to go Home.  I’ll lead you there.  You can call me The Adamster.”  
Classy.
Can you please tell him we’re not interested (I am assuming you’re with me on this)?  If we did something like this… there would be grave consequences, my friend!  As if those damn Veronica’s Secret ads aren’t enough.  Those women with the wings… in their unmentionables!  And if I hear he approaches any of the girls…
Gotta go.  Just got the call on a freak fax machine accident at 12:45.

Adam



From: Andrew
Date: Thursday, January 16, 2006 4:21 PM
To: AdamAngel
Subject: Re: The Toddster- Is he for real???

Greetings O Prudish One,
Sorry.  Monica was reading behind my shoulder (the snoop) and saw your email and made me type that.  I have all ready responded to Todd and assured him no such calendar will ever exist and strongly suggested he not approach the girls about any other calendar.  I understand he’s now enrolling John in a “Chocolate of the Month Club.”  Of course John won’t like it but I’m not going to tell Todd that since it’s stalled any other crazy gift ideas.  Uh, hope the fax machine assignment went well.

Your friend,
Andrew

PS It’s Victoria’s Secret.  Not Veronica’s.  

PPS Just so it’s clear, I only know this because Monica had an assignment employed there and she has informed me of this.

PPPS Watch your language, Mister!  Love, Monica


From: Hockenbury
Date: Thursday, January 19, 2006 6:34 PM
To: Andrew
Subject: Re: John’s birthday

Hey Andrew,
Thanks for doing this.  you’re a groovy guy.  I’ll be seeing you.

Peace,
DH
“It ain’t me, it ain’t me, I ain’t no fortunate one, no no no,  It ain’t me, it ain’t me, I ain’t no fortunate son, no no no.”  ~ Creedence Clearwater Revival



From: Andrew
Date: Sunday, January 22, 2006 5:26 PM
To: AdamCop, Virgil, Hockenbury
Subject: Confirming gifts received

Hello,
I just wanted to confirm that I did get the book of koans and prayer wheel from Virgil, the CCR boxed CD set from Doc Hock, and the certificate for free karate lessons from your brother, Adam.

I’m sure John will enjoy them all.

Your friend,
Andrew



From: B. Morgan
Date: Sunday, January 22, 2006 5:45 PM
To: Andrew, J. Cutler, AdamCop, Virgil, Hockenbury, T. Barrett
Subject: Re: John’s birthday

Hello guys!
Sorry I didn’t get to this sooner.  Kristin and I just spent a lovely week in Hawaii.  Great news!  We’re expecting!  I hope the little one looks just like her.  Kyle and Brittany couldn’t be more excited to have a little brother or sister.  :-)
Kristin is making a cake for John.  I’ll bring it over as soon as she finishes on the 31st.  Hope your lives are going great!  Gotta go, we’re having a candlelit dinner.

Bill

{{{I <3 Kristin}}}



From: J. Cutler
Date: Eternity
To: Andrew
Subject: Re: John’s birthday

<<{{{I <3 Kristin}}}>>

Gag me.  And another brat enters the world!  Just kidding!  Well, may be only partly.  ;-)  

How are you, Andrew?  I haven’t seen you in a while.  I heard you had some trouble last month.  I hope that turned out all right!

Oh and you were so right, the sunsets Here are gorgeous.  Tom says hi.  

I’ll have my gift for John to you ASAP.  

Always,
Jeff



From: Andrew
Date: Monday, January 23, 2006 7:18 AM
To: J. Cutler
Subject: Re: John’s birthday

Hi Jeff,
Bill is definitely… exuberant.  0:-)

I’m actually doing really well right now.  Just finished a great assignment.  I’ll tell you all about it next time I’m Home.  Last month?  Well, it involved one angry, power-hungry doctor, a few doses of psychotropics, a foolhardy but very loyal devotee, someone claiming to be my son, a mass rescue effort, and lots and lots of mildew.  Dyeland certainly is… interesting.  I can’t do the experience justice in email and will tell you about that also when next I see you.  I certainly look forward to it!

Your friend,
Andrew

From: Lady JenniAnn
Date: Tuesday, January 31, 2006 2:19 PM
To: Andrew
Subject: We need to have a lil chat

Dearest Andrew,
Why are there two women in clothing that would give Adam a conniption standing in my entryway and asking for you?  They gave their names as Sugar and Spice but I’m not sure which is which.  And I highly doubt those are there real names.  I’m really confused…

Yours,
JenniAnn



From: Andrew
Date: Tuesday, January 31, 2006 2:58 PM
To: AdamAngel
Subject: Don’t go to Willowveil

Adam,
Just trust me on this and do not go to Willowveil for at least another hour.  

A



From: AdamAngel
Date: Tuesday, January 31, 2006 3:35 PM
To: Andrew
Subject: Re: Don’t go to Willowveil

Why can’t I go to Willowveil?  You know when you say that it just makes me want to go to Willowveil.  In fact…

You’re right.  I shouldn’t have gone to Willowveil.  Strapless tops are the least of their worries…  Um, glad Monica’s advising them.

Trustingly from now on,
Adam

From: Dyeland City Hall
Date: Tuesday, January 31, 2006 4:02 PM
To: E. Manion
Subject: Cease and Desist Order

Dear Mr. Manion:
It has come to our attention that you have disregarded repeated requests to have no further contact with the people of Dyeland.  You will find in Part 3, Section E of the enclosed copy of our prior restraining order that you are not to send emissaries to Dyeland as part of the agreement.  Please be advised that if you fail to comply with this agreement we will have no option but to prosecute you to the fullest extent of our laws.  You would most likely be made to serve a sentence of up to seven (7) days in Miss Tess’ Refinement and Etiquette School for Hypocritical Jerks.  Seven days can be a long time in aforementioned environment, I can assure you.

Sincerely,
Gerald Stone, Esquire



From: Andrew
Date: Tuesday, January 31, 2006 6:31 PM
To: Lady JenniAnn
Subject: Re: We need to have a lil chat

Hello JenniAnn,
Sorry Miss Sugar and Miss Spice showed up when I was away.  I can assure you I had no knowledge of their pending arrival when I left Serendipity briefly to get some coffee with Monica.  Mr. Manion was not informed of our gift collection and so this was completely unexpected.  Rest assured, Mr. Manion has been dealt with and the ladies are still being counseled by Monica over, what else, coffee.

Your friend,
Andrew

From: Lady JenniAnn
Date: Tuesday, January 31, 2006 7:04 PM
To: Dyeland List
Subject: Happy Dye Day one and all!

Greetings Dyelanders!
Here’s wishing you all a very happy Dye Day evening!  Andrew’s off delivering gifts but is due back in about half an hour.  All are invited to Willowveil Castle at 8:00 to toast John’s 43rd year.  Here’s hoping it’s one filled with the realization of his hopes and dreams and the company of friends and family.  

Fare thee well!
Lady JenniAnn

The End

Happy Dye Day everyone!  Hope to see ya in the chat!






JABB TOC
JABB 185



(Photo Credits: The first, third, fourth, ninth, tenth, eleventh, and thirteenth photographs used on this page are from "Touched by an Angel" and owned by CBS Productions, Caroline Productions, and Moon Water Productions.  The second photograph is from "Campus Man" photos and owned by RKO Pictures.  The fifth photograph is from "Tour of Duty" and owned by New World Television.  The sixth photograph is from "Best of the Best" and owned by Best of the Best Films, Kuys Entertainment, SVS Films, and The Movie Group.  The seventh photograph is from "Once Upon a Christmas" and owned by Ardent Productions, Legacy Filmworks, Lincoln Field Productions, Sterling/Winters Company Studios, and Viacom Productions Inc.  The eighth photograph is from "Mother, Mother" and owned by the producers listed here.  The twelth photograph is from "Heart of the Beholder" and owned by River City Entertainment and Catchlight Films.  They are not being used to seek profit.
  Special thanks to Jess who capped some of the photos seen here!)